The Loner Cheerleader
by rosieloves23
Summary: Peyton Sawyer is new to Tree Hill High and not happy about being there. Her arrival changes the lives of the people she meets, especially Lucas Scott's. Will Peyton accept her new life and open up her heart to new chances and love? Alternative S3. Leyton
1. First Day On A Brand New Planet

**A/N: I really missed writing Leyton so this is my new story. Basically Peyton arrives at Tree Hill when Rachel would have done so Rachel is there all the time previously- Naley got married and then Haley went on tour, Brucas S1 never happened, S2 did and now they're like the beginning of S3 Brucas were, but Peyton will change everything. If it looks like it could be any good do please review and i'll keep it up :)**

Peyton took a last drag on a cigarette and then reluctantly dropped it to the floor. She crushed it underneath a battered black Converse and gazed up at the new hell she was to call school. It wasn't normally like her to smoke but she felt like she needed the head rush for courage. She could handle this if she didn't take it all in. She grimaced; even her inner brain was unconvinced. Her green eyes squinted in the September sun and she was just considering skipping when a car revved behind her.

"You mind? You're in my spot." She twisted to see an enormous four by four being driven by a haughty looking red head and raised an eyebrow. She moved minimally to the side, leaning against her own car and watched as the girl swung into the space next to her with one hand on the wheel and the other holding a cell phone, "yeah I'll see you in two babe." She climbed out of the monster of a car and shot Peyton a dirty look, "newbies park over there clueless."

Peyton raised her eyebrow, "thanks for the heads up," she said lightly.

The girl shrugged and pulled a face, "whatever," before striding away in heels that made Peyton wince just looking at them. Who would wear shoes like that to school?! She slipped on her faithful aviator shades and pulled her bag out of the car.

"Here we go," she muttered.

The corridors were a mass of bodies pushing her one way and then the other. She felt completely lost. She had her 'I don't give a crap scowl' on but inside she was panicking. Where did she go first? Before she could work it out she felt someone shove her against a set of lockers, losing her footing she found herself falling backwards ohh crap-

"Heyy- I got you!" She heard a quiet but strong voice and felt a pair of hands catch her round the waist.

She turned in surprise, catching her sunglasses as they fell of her head and touching her hair in embarrassment. As she looked up she met the most beautiful pair of blue eyes she'd ever seen gazing at her with a mix of interest and concern. She felt speechless.

"You ok?"

"I- uhh- yeah thanks," she said quickly, straightening up and out of his arms.

"You new here?"

She nodded, "seventh school in two years; lucky me."

He grinned and shrugged, "Tree Hill's not so bad."

She realised he was staring at her with a peculiar look in his eyes- like he was reading her thoughts or something and she cleared her throat, "anyway- thanks for the quick catch."

"No problem," he backed down the corridor, swinging his bag over his shoulder, "I'll be seeing you."

She inclined her head slowly and then gave him an inch of a smile; which he returned before disappearing into the crowd.

Peyton felt breathless and realised the people in the corridors were thinning out as they all moved into their classrooms. Oh crap she was totally going to be late and that would mean a scene, CRAP. She spotted a sign that said office and dived towards it.

"Hello?" She knocked on the glass and peered round the door.

A secretary peered at her over a pair of square glasses, "shouldn't you be in class by now young lady?"

"Yeah err, I'm new today."

"Oh- and you are?"

"Peyton Sawyer."

There was a tapping and then she smilied minimally, "you're transferring from down south? Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer?"

"Yep that's me."

More tapping.

"Great, welcome to Tree Hill High, fill these in please." She handed Peyton a pile of papers and a pen and smiled quickly before turning back to her desk and answering a phone, "Tree Hill High, Marjorie speaking, uh huh, please hold. Hello, Tree Hill High? No I'm sorry you'd have to arrange a meeting. No, through me of course."

Peyton rolled her eyes, secretary on a power high much? She scrawled her name across the bottom of several sheets, agreeing that her picture could be used in school papers, her work could be used in school publications, etcetera. She felt like she'd signed a million of these over the years.

"So now that you're all enrolled here I can give you your class schedule and you can get to first period," the secretary smiled at her brightly and then handed her a schedule.

"Thanks," Peyton muttered. Joy, classes.

"Ok any questions?" She looked at Peyton impatiently and Peyton raised her eyebrows minimally and then shook her head silently. "Great- welcome to Tree Hill High!"

"Thanks," she headed out of the room and leant against the wall outside. There was nothing like a new school and another uninterested secretary to make her feel right at home. She needed a cigarette. Man she hated her dad _so_ much for this. Sighing she straightened her bag and glanced at the sheet, English Literature was waiting for her. Well maybe golden boy would be in that class, he might be fun. She squinted up at the classroom numbers and then hesitantly moved down the corridor to the frosted door where Steinbeck and Fitzgerald would no doubt be waiting for her. Reluctantly she knocked and then opened it.

"Ahhh a late runner!" A tall lady with dark hair in plaits that made her look like a brunette Heidi turned and looked at her expectantly, "and you are?"

Peyton found that she'd lost the ability to speak and realised twenty five pairs of eyes were staring at her with mild interest.

"It's the newbie I was telling you about," a voice Peyton recognised came from the back of the class where the redheaded bimbo was sitting and the spattering of laughter that followed actually made her feel stronger.

"Peyton Sawyer," she said firmly, shooting a drop dead look in the girl's direction, "i'm new."

"Ah well hello Miss Sawyer- park yourself and we'll continue. I'm Miss Francis and I teach first period English literature- do try and be on time next week."

Peyton nodded slightly, already disinterested in anything but sitting down and dropped her bag on the floor by a desk at the back. She raised her eyebrows at all the faces still gawping at her, what did they expect? For her to break into song? They finally looked away and she pulled a sketch book out to doodle on.

"Now, we'll be dividing into groups to discuss Shakespeare's finer points on why Katherina is the wonderful way she is so look to your left and right to divide and conquer please ladies and gentlemen."

Peyton scowled, great, socialising?

A guy on her left with dark hair and piercing blue eyes twisted to face her and held out a hand, "Nathan Scott."

She took it and grinned, "Peyton Sawyer."

"Yeah I heard, how's it going?"

"Well I nearly got run over so a good start."

He laughed, "always a way to get noticed."

"Yeah well that's me, always-"

A dark blonde turned round from the desk in front of Peyton and interrupted, "Nathan can we talk?"

"Not now Haley," Nathan muttered, staring at his copy of The Taming of the Shrew like it was the most interesting thing he'd ever seen.

"Nathan-"

"I'm working."

Peyton raised her eyebrows and decided now would be the right moment to zone out and check out the rest of the room. The usual cliques were sitting together, the pretty group; cheerleaders and jocks, the goths, the geeks and her fellow loners and- to her surprise she realised the beautiful blonde _was_ in this class. He was sitting in the far corner, immersed in his own copy of the play. Peyton felt her heart beat slightly faster and then disappointment take over as she realised he was most definitely not alone. A brunette with amazing dimples suddenly wrapped an arm around his neck and whispered something in his ear to make him laugh. Peyton scrunched up her face and was about to turn away but just as she did so he glanced backwards over his shoulder and met her eyes. He nodded and smiled slightly and she bit her lip, nodding back, god he gave her butterflies.

"So you wanna talk about this chick Katherina or what?"

She turned back to Nathan who was looking surlier than he had been earlier and shrugged, "sure."

"So I haven't read this play but I think anyone writing about love is clearly deluded," he began.

Peyton scoffed, "Shakespeare's not deluded, he-"

"You have the most amazing bone structure," the girl next to Nathan suddenly announced and Peyton looked at her in surprise.

"Umm- thanks. Anyway, Shakespeare doesn't write about love blindly he-"

"Seriously," the girl reached across Nathan and pushed Peyton's face to the side, "it's awesome, Rach don't you think?"

The red head in front of her leant back in her chair, "what am I thinking Bev?"

"She's got great bone structure right?" The girl named Bev clutched Peyton's chin and twisted her round.

Gently Peyton attempted to remove the girl's hands, "I don't really know you well enough for you to do this."

Nathan chuckled, "she doesn't really mind about that." Peyton raised an eyebrow at him and he grinned at her. "You'll get used to it."

"Rachel!" Bev persisted.

Rachel narrowed her eyes as she glanced at Peyton, "she's not bad. Where you from?"

Peyton shrugged non-committedly, "around."

"Whatever," Rachel rolled her eyes and turned back to her own group announcing loudly, "this sucks."

"She's got something right," Nathan muttered.

Peyton looked at him in surprise, "what?! You know this is actually one of Shakespeare's more interesting plays."

"Says who?"

She shrugged, "says me. I mean the whole play is based on the trials and tribulations of dating and he's kind of scarily on point about everything he talks about."

"Wow are you like really smart or something?" Bevin was staring at her wide eyed- her own copy of the play was nowhere to be seen.

"No," Peyton's eyes widened incredulously, "I just read it and understood it. Didn't you?"

"Wow," Bevin breathed and then waved a hand, "oh no I don't really do the whole reading thing. I'm Bevin by the way," she said smiling sweetly.

Peyton raised a hand, "Peyton."

Nathan shifted forward to rejoin the conversation, "so if we're actually gonna talk English- what do you think Katherina's main characteristics are?"

Peyton frowned and then shrugged, "she's a strong woman and that in itself is a rare feat. in the sixteenth century let alone today. She stands up for herself and she has opinions and despite the fact she's constantly berated for having them she never stands down. I think that's pretty admirable. And the fact that this ass of a guy thinks he can train her actually falls for her is meant to be seen as a plus but I actually kind of wish she rejected him in the end but of course- it is only a sixteenth century play."

Nathan raised his eyebrows and then whistled, "you aren't just a pretty face then Sawyer."

She turned to respond when Miss Francis who had been listening from behind them stepped forward, "very interesting indeed Miss Sawyer, would you care to share your thoughts with the class?"

"She's already a favourite then," Rachel muttered to one of the girls in her group who chuckled and then raised an eyebrow in Peyton's direction.

Peyton narrowed her eyes at them both, "I'm sure the class have plenty of opinions already without needing to hear mine."

Miss Francis bounded forward towards the board, "but surely any opinion is valid Miss Sawyer? Tell me, Katherina's sister Bianca- why is she different to Katherina?"

"Well," Peyton felt suddenly hot as she realised the whole class were staring at her and she fixed her eyes on her sketch pad. "She's more happy to have her life decided for her for one thing. I guess she's just more willing to do what people expect of her."

"You mean she's a walkover?" The beautiful boy raised an eyebrow as he looked over at her, the hint of a smirk playing across his face.

"No I didn't mean that," she rolled her eyes forgetting herself now that she was talking Shakespeare. "I think Shakespeare writes the sisters as polar opposites on purpose to represent both an independent spirited woman and the good and morally correct woman. In the sixteenth century Katherina would have been deemed immoral and a bad example for women and Shakespeare wants the audience to question that. But it still happens today; a woman has an opinion and guys get all nervous around her. Women are frowned upon when they don't have opinions or seem to want to stand out, but then when we _do_ speak out we get told to keep quiet anyway." She shrugged, "we're screwed either way."

"So you're saying Katherina is deliberately stubborn to spite society?" He was laughing now; she couldn't believe she'd done this to herself. Somehow in the space of ten minutes she'd managed to direct the entire class' attention onto her and her dumbass opinions were being torn to shreds by the most attractive guy she'd seen in forever.

She shook herself and decided to opt for spikiness, "why not right?"

"Well because she doesn't gain anything from that in the long run. You gotta remember Katherina can't earn her own rent- she doesn't have the benifit of employment on her side, after all," he said smirking, "this _is_ set in the sixteenth century."

Peyton flushed, "i'm not saying she shouldn't have married the guy- I mean at least he challenges her." He shot her a look and she attempted to ignore it, "what I mean is that Shakespeare paints his women in two very different ways and we frown upon them both but we're not much different today."

"So you're saying women are trapped?"

She shrugged, "either way, the guy always wins. Women in Shakespeare's plays always come second in the end."

"They're the weaker sex for a reason right?"

Her eyes widened incredulously, "no!"

"I'm just messing with you," he said lightly.

"Ew," said the brunette beside him, interrupting the debate, "women aren't like that Katherina."

Peyton raised her eyebrows, "some are."

"Miss Davis," Miss Francis said suddenly, "care to offer an opinion?"

The girl shrugged, "Heath Ledger plays a really hot guy in the film based on this play; that's good enough for me."

The class laughed and Miss Francis smiled, "well, that's something." The bell rang and everyone jumped up, "alright, "she called over the sound of scraping desks and chattering students, "please ensure you read the next book on our list for next week class, remember, a book a week will keep the doctor away!" She joked and there was a faint smattering of laughter before most of the class dived for the door.

Peyton broke eye contact with the blonde guy and shoved her books back into her bag before jumping up eagerly. She needed to get the hell out of here before she put her foot in it again. "Hey," She turned to see Nathan holding out a page from her sketch book, "this fell out."

"Thanks," she said quickly.

"It's really good," he offered before moving towards the door, "you an artist?"

She shrugged, "some days."

He grinned, "fair enough- hey you wanna have lunch with me later?" She raised her eyebrows and he rolled his eyes, "that wasn't a date invitation, it's just I'm kind of avoiding a few people round here and," he shrugged, "you seem by far the coolest person I've met in a long time, hell you know more about Shakespeare than anyone I know."

She smiled, "well when you put it like that, sure, where do I meet you?"

"I've gotta hit the gym beforehand so you wanna meet me on the strip outside?"

"If I can find the strip sure."

He chuckled, "you can't miss it. See you later Sawyer."

She waved, "later." She followed him out of the classroom and into the hall. There were swarms of glossy haired, laughing students all around her and she felt wistful for her last school- people there wore clothes that cost less than the mortgage of a small house.

She found her locker and pulled a face as she watched "Miss Davis" squeal and wrap her arms around the beautiful boy further up the hall.

"Hey," a voice from behind her broke her thoughts and she turned to see Rachel and Bevin and a gaggle of other girls.

She raised her eyebrows, "what? You gonna pull my hair and steal my lunch money?"

Rachel smirked, "we're a little more advanced here at Tree Hill than your previous weirdly Shakespeare obsessed school."

Peyton tilted her head back; man couldn't they just go away? "Then what do you want?"

"You know, Bevin's right- you're not bad looking- you ever been a cheerleader?"

Peyton snorted, "do I look like the type?"

"You never know," Rachel raised an eyebrow, "beneath the scowl and the Something Corporate tee shirt there might actually be a cheery person lurking."

Peyton snapped her locker shut and folded her arms, "well there's not so you're wasting your time. And how do you know who Something Corporate are?"

"You'd be surprised what I know and who I know," she said easily, "besides, I always get what I want and I think you'd make a pretty rocking cheerleader- try outs are on Friday, we need some new squad members so come along." She began to walk away and suddenly stopped and turned, "oh- and we don't just hand out invitations- this is a pretty big deal."

Peyton smirked, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Do that."

Peyton watched them all swish away wondering whether she should laugh or cry- she looked like she could be a decent cheer leader?! That in itself could be an insult. She suddenly realised the beautiful boy was coming her way and tugged at her tee shirt trying to be nonchalant.

"Hey," he said smiling.

She inclined her head, "you always pick on the new kid in their first class?"

He laughed, "that wasn't picking on you- I was nice."

"Ha! Look nice up in the dictionary; I suspect you'll find the definition somewhat contradicts you."

"Alright, "he held up his hands, "I'm sorry, I got carried away- it's not every day I get to have that sort of discussion in my English class."

She grinned, "now _that_ I understand."

"Anyway," he held out a hand, "can we start over? I'm Lucas, Lucas Scott."

She shook his hand and tried to ignore the tingles that threaded from her fingers all the way up her spine. She cleared her throat and looked away from the piercing blue eyes that seemed to look straight into her, "any relation to Nathan Scott?"

He nodded slowly as they began to move down the emptying corridor, "yeah actually- he's uh my brother."

She had been in enough schools to take in the tension both in the way he had hesitated to reply and the tone of his response.

"We're not really on speaking terms at the moment," he added, "we kind of had a fight."

She looked at him in surprise- he seemed equally shocked that he'd told her that and she felt suddenly like she needed to put him at ease, "apparently siblings are meant to fight," she said quickly.

He laughed and gave her a look of appreciation, then said softly, "apparently?"

She shrugged, "only child."

Lucas nodded, "I was one of those once."

"Once?"

"It's errr- a long story- one I would tell you if I didn't have calculus."

She shrugged and smiled at him, "some other time."

"I guess you're sticking around then," he said grinning, "you'll have to give me your thoughts on Something Corporate versus Jack's Mannequin."

She didn't think her smile could get any wider as she nodded, "sure- but just so you know, Something Corporate every time."

He shook his head, "so the wrong answer," he winked at her and opened the door on their left, "see you."

"Have fun doing maths," she said smirking at him, he pulled a face at her and disappeared inside. She headed towards her own classroom smiling, man she had worn the right tee shirt today. Maybe this school wouldn't suck as much as she'd thought.


	2. That's Me Inside Your Head

**A/N: WOW, thank you guys for the reviews, I did not expect such a good response! Lol it put a whole lot of pressure on for this chapter so I hope it's ok, I'm still setting up so bear with me, chapter 3 should be up soon! As ever, thank you! And any thoughts are welcome :)**

**Disclaimer: Well, if I owned OTH Lucas and Peyton would have had more than ten seconds of screen time in their last ever episode- this face is SO not happy with Mark. So no I don't own- S6 would have been very different... *cough no Sam more Peyton and Nathan scenes cough***

Peyton sat in her car squinting up at Tree Hill High and wishing she didn't have to go inside. She traced the chipped paint on the inside of her door frame and then closed her eyes, sinking lower into the seat and soaking in the sun overhead. She really didn't want to get out of the car; it was so nice here, so peaceful, she-

"Yo Sawyer," a voice broke her thoughts as an arm dropped on the door, "you in there?"

"Well; I guess that's a better hello than a car revving at me," she opened one eye, "what's up Scott?"

"You gonna make me go in this dump alone?"

She gave a lazy half smile and sat up, reaching to the passenger side to grab her bag, "what- you not happy playing the brooding loner kid anymore?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I brood?"

She grinned and jumped over the side of the car, catching his shoulder to keep her balance, "seems to be your thing yeah."

"Come on," he said incredulously as they began to move towards school, "that is _so_ not my thing. Couldn't my thing be like... basketball?"

She scoffed, "you want basketball to be your thing? Lame."

He shrugged, "it's the only thing I'm good at it."

"Aww," she pulled a pseudo sympathetic face, "pity parties don't start till ten am Nathan Scott."

"Shut-"

He fell silent and they stopped walking suddenly as Haley and Lucas walked across the courtyard in front of them, unaware of Peyton and Nathan to their left. Nathan's face darkened and he shifted, pulling at his bag straps. They passed by without seeing them and disappeared inside school. Peyton exhaled slowly and glanced up at Nathan, touching his arm, "you ok?"

"Sure," he said shortly, "why wouldn't I be?" He began to walk again and with a last glance in Lucas' direction she followed him, rolling her eyes.

"Well because you go to the same school as the two people you appear to wish to speak to least in the world which means you have to see them all the time and you hate that?"

"What would you know about it Sawyer?"

She stopped walking again and placed her hands on her hips, "Nathan Scott!"

He turned round immediately pulling an apologetic face, "sorry- that was kind of harsh."

"And rude and dismissive," she raised her eyebrows and then smiled, "but I accept your apology seeing as I'm an angel and you'd be screwed without your only friend."

"Ha- that goes both ways," he said grinning and she rolled her eyes again before moving forward to link arms with him.

"Whatever loser- just walk me to homeroom before I kick your ass."

"Ha, as if."

* * *

Three days into her new school life and Peyton already felt like she'd been there years. She was used to settling into places fast and Tree Hill High had been no exception. She and Nathan had sat down on an empty table for lunch on her first day and swapped several war stories before realising despite having little in common on paper they actually got on remarkably well. She'd listened to the Haley/Chris Keller/tour debacle with an open mouth, learnt that Nathan had been playing basketball at some camp all summer and had no desire to be back at school with the people who had lied and hurt him so badly. She could relate to being hurt and lied to- her father's main aim in life seemed to be to try and break her as much as possible and every time she had ever made a decent connection to someone in a school it seemed barely ten seconds later she waving a heartbroken goodbye out of a car window, watching the face fade away until it was a blur in the traffic. Larry's thoughts on the moving around was that anything that didn't kill you made you stronger, Peyton's thoughts were that if she kept leaving people's lives she'd never get a chance to live her own. When she'd told Nathan this he'd given a grim smile, "people always leave right?" "Right," she'd replied sadly, "that's exactly what I say." They'd known right then they'd found a kindred spirit in one another.

She waved a reluctant goodbye to her life line now and sidled into homeroom as Nathan continued on to the gym. She sat down at the back of the room, avoiding eye contact and pulling out her sketch book. This was the worst part of the day- the part where everyone else was sociable and she wished they'd all somehow switch to mute. She dropped her head forward slightly so that her blonde hair fell in her eyes and she could shut the world out. Citizen Cope blared through her headphones and she began to relax; in her own world once more.

"Oi newbie."

She tilted her head up and scrunched her nose up in distaste; the cheerleader that had accosted her in the hall on her first day was looking down at hair, a hand on her hip and her own cheerleader uniform worn with maximum leg on display. Peyton sighed, taking out an earphone, "Rochelle right?"

"Rachel," the girl corrected her firmly before sitting down on the chair in front, twisting to face her, "so you're coming to trials later right?"

"Um, I don't think so- see when we were at the lockers the other day and you heard no- I meant no."

Rachel rolled her eyes, flicking long, red hair over her shoulder, "look get over the whole I couldn't care less act because this is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"To do what," Peyton retorted drily, "wave pompoms around and sing chants about how many guys on the basketball team I've slept with?"

"No," Rachel said, narrowing her eyes, "we're better than those girls in Bring It On. We're the best team in North Carolina; we've won the prizes to prove it and this year we want to win state. We need someone of your build and someone who isn't gonna mess us around. And I bet with all those little backward farm yard schools you've been skipping through you haven't managed to pick up nearly enough extra credits for your college applications- cheerleading looks great on the form."

Peyton was silent, man when this girl wanted something she went at it all guns blazing. "I'm not particularly well co-ordinated," she said finally.

"We'll work that right out of you," Rachel said standing up, "tryouts are at three in the gym."

"Can't wait!"

Rachel shot her a cool smirk and then headed out of the door with Bevin who turned and waved at Peyton happily. Peyton raised a limp hand in return. Man how did she get herself smack in the middle of Big Red's radar?! It was actually causing her pain to imagine herself in one of those cheerleading outfits oh and god she'd actually have to smile and have _enthusiasm_ for things.

"Hey you," a voice suddenly spoke from behind her. She span round in surprise and realised Lucas was sitting on the chair two to the left of her.

"Hey! How long have you been sitting there?" She mentally ran over her outfit and felt relief- she looked acceptable today in skinny black jeans and a dark green Stereophonics tee shirt.

He shrugged and grinned, "you know if you didn't have your headphones in all the time and actually attempted to make conversation with anyone you might have heard me say hello." She noted the fact he had said hello again- even after being ignored the first time- that implied nice guy all over.

She blushed and then smirked, "maybe I was blanking you on purpose."

"That would kind of be what I was used to once," he said smiling faintly, "I'll let you get back to thinking about becoming Tree Hill's newest cheerleader then." He moved to stand up.

"Hey wait," instinctively she reached out a hand to apologise and touched his arm, oh she so shouldn't have done that, he had extremely nice and well toned forearms. She let go quickly and realised he was still staring down at where her hand had been. Quickly she recovered, "I'm sorry- I'm not used to friendly people."

"What?" He said grinning, "they don't know how to say hello down south?"

"No- they're just," she shrugged, "everyone has their cliques by like, third grade, it's kind of difficult dropping in and out." She stopped talking in amazement, why was she sharing like this?

His eyes crinkled up in a really cute way and then he shrugged, "we're different here."

"You got that right," she scoffed, "I've never been asked to do so much as make an appearance at a basketball game, let alone wave pom poms at one."

"New school, new ventures," he said easily, "you never know, you might actually enjoy it."

"Uh- I don't think so, cheerleaders are... not me."

He chuckled, "well I suppose you're right there- you'd have to actually smile and take those aviatars off for more than five minutes."

She opened her mouth in surprise, "I smile!"

"Sure you do- when you're running over puppies or pulling cat's tails."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "you don't _know_ me."

His blue eyes danced with silent laughter and then finally he held up a hand, "fine have it your way- you can be the first cheerleader who doesn't smile." He grinned as he backed towards the door, "you could start a new trend."

"Are you like the most optimistic person ever or something?"

"No, I just like to have faith in people."

Her walking slowed to barely moving and stared at him in surprise; he was staring right back. She opened her mouth to say something when-

"Luke!" Breaking the trance the brunette she had gathered was called Brooke came bouncing into the room. And of course, Peyton thought to herself, she was a cheerleader.

"Heyy- Brooke," he seemed almost surprised to see her- like he'd forgotten they were in school or something; well at least that was the general feeling _she_ got when she was around him. "Hey Peyton- I'll see you in English?"

She nodded, "sure."

He shot her a swift smile and then disappeared with Brooke- who shot Peyton a warning look, Peyton glared back in return.

* * *

She slipped out into the hall and was immediately being pushed around by a million other students trying to walk through her instead of around her. She squared her shoulders and took them on, ouch mother f- she almost doubled over as a random footballer knocked straight into her. Dammit! Choosing to avoid further humiliation she moved into the nearest bathroom and locked herself in the nearest cubicle. Once inside she took a few deep breaths- man this whole new school thing was sometimes way more difficult than she remembered. She was still shaking with the almost violent emotion that had taken hold whilst she'd been looking into Lucas' eyes... The door of the bathroom opened and she silently cursed her luck. A hoard of cheerleaders came in, chattering about god knows what. Her ears pricked up when she realised they were talking about her.

"Have you heard that Rach has asked the new girl to cheer for us? Can you believe it?!" A voice she didn't recognise.

"Ugh the one that wears all those creepy tee shirts and like, hardly says anything?" Another dumbass cheerleader spoke up.

"As if she'll get through the trials," a smug voice retorted- that was a voice she knew, it was Brooke's.

"You know, she's really smart," Bevin added. Ahh Peyton liked this Bevin; she was maybe a little bit slow but at least she was honest.

"Shut up Bevin- you don't have to be smart to be a cheerleader," Brooke again, man this girl was rude.

A new voice said in a hushed tone; "I heard she and Nathan are dating."

"What?!"

Another voice jumped into the gossip, "maybe it's true; you know I heard he told Haley he didn't love her anymore and that he wanted a divorce."

"Oh my god no way! When did you hear that?"

"He told her at the beach party; in front of _everyone_. She was so upset; she went off with Lucas."

"Who knows what they got up to!" A chorus of laughter and then they fell silent as Brooke cleared her throat.

"Lucas is off the market- and that goes to all of you- he's officially mine this year."

What? Peyton thought to herself, had she paid for him?

"He's on the list girls, read it and weep."

"If you get Lucas than I want dibs on Skillz," Bevin announced.

"Then I totally get to date-"

Ok, Peyton could not take a whole discussion of these girls bartering over the poor idiots on the basketball team. She reached to pull the chain and unlocked the door, making as much noise as possible as she came out into the main bathroom.

Ignoring the stunned cheerleaders she washed her hands, dried them and then turned to face them. Brooke was standing, hands on her hips, staring at Peyton like she was an alien. Peyton dropped the towel in the bin, casually reached into her bag and pulled out an eyeliner pencil, sliding it across her lids, she finally turned to face them and smiled sweetly, "I'm not dating Nathan- I'm just using him for sex." Their mouths fell open and as she reached the door she turned slightly and said, "see you at practice."

* * *

By lunch time she was so ready to get the hell out of Tree Hill altogether. Clearly the cheer parade hadn't thought her jokes were as funny as she had and were giving her evil looks and attempting to trip her up every where she went. Luckily for Peyton she had grown such a thick skin she'd barely noticed their existence; let alone what they were saying behind her back. But she was a little fearful for her safety; no doubt one of them had learnt how to break bones in the most subtle way during their days as evil cheerleaders. She could take them but she would bet any money they'd walk away in no trouble and she'd be the one sitting opposite the principle being yelled at. She reached for a cigarette sighing contentedly for the first time all day when a hand pulled it away from her mouth and threw it on the ground, "didn't you hear all that stuff in health about how smoking is maybe, you know, bad for you?"

She shot Nathan her best death glare and then relented, "I guess I can wait until I'm out of your reach to have one, what's up?"

He sat down beside her and pulled out his lunch, "did you tell someone we were sleeping together?"

She pulled an apologetic face, "oh yeah sorry about that- you kinda got caught in the crossfire."

He chuckled, "it's no biggie- just give me a head's up next time. I had no idea why Brooke was yelling at me in between 2nd and 3rd period today and Haley appears to have forgotten she was trying to make me talk to her."

"Oh Nathan crap I'm sorry- I didn't think about how this would affect you and Haley."

He shrugged, "seriously it's fine, it gets her off my back for ten minutes anyway; she's driving me crazy."

She was silent, still cursing her big mouth when suddenly Lucas came striding over, "what the hell man?"

Nathan stood up slowly, "don't even start with me Lucas."

"You haven't been back two weeks and you're already jerking Haley around."

"You don't wanna do this with me now Luke."

"I sure as hell do," Lucas shoved at his brother's chest, "I told you that if you hurt her again I'd have a problem and now, I have a problem."

Nathan raised his eyebrows, "you _know_ it's just a rumour- what are you so riled about?"

Lucas was silent for a second and then he recovered, "I warned you Nate-"

"You know what Luke, how about you go talk to Haley about Chris Keller and then you come back to me and talk about hurt. Peyton and I are just friends." He sat back down and picked up his sandwich, "now get out of my face."

His older brother stood where he was for a second, breathing hard, and then glanced at Peyton. She felt a jolt of electricity run up and down her spine and then he blinked and stormed away.

"Man you do make an impact quick," Nathan said softly, watching his brother go.

Peyton raised her eyebrows, "what do you mean by that?"

"I mean that two days ago he and I weren't speaking and suddenly he's in my face about nothing," he grinned, "sure as hell wasn't anything I did."

She rolled her eyes, "whatever- I've barely spoken two words to the guy."

"Alright, whatever you say Sawyer- just so you know, last year he was the loner and I was the one dating all the cheerleaders, not him."

She snorted, "hard to picture that."

"Hey shut up that's how it was!"

Smirking she took her own lunch out of her bag, "whatever you need me to believe."

"Hey speaking of- tell me it's not true- Rachel's got you trying out to be a cheerleader."

"Uh," she rolled her eyes, her mouth full of sandwich, "mmffno!"

"Why not?" He laughed, "that would be hilarious."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "I could do it if I wanted to."

"Really? Would you want to?"

"I don't know... Maybe."

He shrugged offhandedly, "it would kind of be fun to have someone I actually liked to hang out at games with."

"So you think it wouldn't be entirely lame if I did it?" She didn't know why she was even considering it but-

"Yeah- you'd sure as hell do a better job than half the rest of them- they don't know right from left."

She sniggered, "yeah I could have guessed."

Nathan shook his head in disbelief, "who'd have thought, Peyton Sawyer, cheerleader."

"Yeah I have to pass some sort of trial first," she said gazing over at where the cheerleaders were sitting. They all looked so perfect and primped, the complete opposite of who she was.

"That bit's the easy part, it's the after hours stuff you'll need to get used to. All the politics and the crap you girls put each other through."

"Ha, you really can't lecture me when you and your brother were about to start wrestling right here two minutes ago."

"Don't call him that," Nathan suddenly said sharply.

She looked at him in surprise, "what? Your brother?"

"Yeah, I'd prefer not to be reminded we're related every ten seconds."

Her green eyes took him in carefully, he was so much more hurt than he was letting on, "ok," she said softly, "he's just the guy we have English Lit. with from now on."

"Thanks," he gave her a brief smile, "I really appreciate you hanging out with me and everything you know Sawyer."

She smiled back, stamping down on the tiny part of her brain saying that talking to both Nathan and Lucas was about to get very complicated, "you got it Nate- and ditto." She stood up suddenly, "alright, I better go practice being co-ordinated somewhere for a bit."

He laughed, "good luck with that."

She hit him on the back of the head with her bag, "shut up and finish your lunch like a loner, _loner_."

"Right back at you, "he called after her. She turned round laughing and sticking two fingers up at him.

Across the quad, completely invisible to both Peyton and his brother, Lucas watched the new girl laughing at something Nathan had said, her golden hair catching the sunlight and making her look like she was glittering or something. She was tough and she had a guard up around her that he reckoned a bulldozer would have trouble knocking down, but he felt drawn to her like a mouth to a flame. She was fascinating, intelligent but completely unwilling to show it, beautiful but insecure, funny but in that self depricating and sarcastic way that seemed to suit her perfectly and she was completely intoxicating.

"Lucas?" Brooke caught his chin and he was brought back to the present, sitting on a bench surrounded by cheerleaders and basketball players, "Luke?"

He looked up at her and smiled, "what's up pretty girl?"

"Where's your head at?"

He shrugged, "just thinking about some stuff," her face fell and he tried not to feel irritated that she wanted more from him than that. What did she want, his blood? Sometimes he just didn't want to talk. Or more than that, he didn't know what to say to Brooke. They had so little in common, god knows he loved her and the girl she had become but they were so disconnected, so not the couple he'd expected them to be. She wouldn't even let him be exclusive with her for crying out loud! He smiled at her quickly and then glanced back to where Peyton was walking towards the parking lot, frowning as he did so, how was she suddenly all he could think about?


	3. All My Friends

**Disclaimer: I can't claim anything belongs to me- that would mean I owned Mouth and Jamie... HA.**

**A/N: Once again, thank you guys for the reviews- keep 'em coming cos I love them! A couple of things- there will be no Nathan/Peyton relationship- friendship yes, banter yes, NO to coupling. I love Brooke, but I'm not going to be writing her that nicely for a while- but I do love her! There is some swearing in this chapter so be prepared and apart from that enjoy :)**

Peyton sat in the changing rooms of Tree Hill High's gym, willing herself to stand up and walk through the doors into the main hall. Come on Sawyer, you can do this, it's like ripping off a band aid, quick and easy, jump up and dive through the doors. For a millisecond she actually thought she had convinced herself to do it and then realised she was still sitting, slumped against the wall, not having moved. She sighed and glanced over to the window- maybe she could have a quick cigarette... The door swung open and Haley came through them looking deep in thought. She stopped dead in her tracks as she saw Peyton, clad in a cheerleaders outfit, cross legged and an almost trapped expression on her face. Haley scoffed and dropped her bag on the floor.

"I thought Brooke was kidding when she said Rachel had asked you to turn up to these things- man sometimes I swear that girl's only aim in life is to drive me as crazy as possible."

Peyton gave the faintest glimmer of a smile, "looks like she's found a new subject in me if it helps."

Haley shook her head and sat down to pull on her sneakers, "it doesn't."

"Look," Peyton untangled herself and got up, "I think I ought to apologise- whatever crap you and Nathan have going on you really didn't need me making dumbass jokes like the one I did earlier. You didn't ask for it and I shouldn't have said it," she shrugged uncomfortably, "I'm sorry ok?"

Haley stared up at her for a second and then smiled faintly, "you're not that great at apologising are you?"

Peyton shrugged again, smirking, "it's not my favourite thing in the world."

"Fair enough," Haley nodded slowly and then looked up at her, "so why are you doing this- I mean if you hate the idea of it already why bother?"

"Cause I wanna see the look on Brooke's face when I actually turn out to be good," Peyton said smirking.

Haley laughed, "not exactly a decent reason."

Peyton twirled jokingly and kicked her leg up behind her, "yeah but it's better than actually wanting to do this for the sheer joy of it." She stopped and lifted her hands up, "besides it'll keep me busy and it'll keep Nate happy, he needs a friend to have his back here."

Haley's face fell, "oh right. So you and Nathan..."

"We're just friends," Peyton said firmly.

The relief on Haley's face was palpable, "ok." There was a pause and then she took a chance, Peyton could almost see the question coming before she said it, "do you guys ever- you know- talk about me?"

Peyton exhaled hard, she didn't want to betray Nathan's confidence but she knew deep down he was still completely in love with this girl. Finally she hunched her shoulders up and said, "look I really can't talk for Nathan but if I were you I wouldn't give up the fight just yet." She pulled a face, "I better get out there."

"Hey-" Haley called after her and Peyton twisted, raising an eyebrow, "thanks, you know- for saying that."

"It's not every day I meet a couple who are married and separated before they're old enough to drink," Peyton said lightly, "I guess I'm curious to see if love will win out." She gave the Haley a final smile and then disappeared through the doors and into the corridor.

Oh man this was it. She scowled, she was furious at herself for even doing this but a tiny part of her had always been curious about this world. Why was it so fascinating? What did people like Nathan and Lucas, and even the girls, get from basketball that they couldn't seem to find anywhere else?

"Ahh excellent, is it my birthday already?" She turned and shot Nathan a drop dead look and he grinned, "I'm kidding. But you clean up good in a cheerleading outfit Sawyer."

"Well thanks," she raised her eyebrows, "what are you doing here?"

"I came to watch," he said innocently. She punched his arm and he laughed holding up his hands, "Ok ok, I was here for practice but it's been cancelled. There's gonna be a meeting tonight about my coach maybe getting fired."

Her eyes widened, "what? Why?"

"Ahh," he rolled his eyes, "it's my dad trying to be an ass, as usual."

"Something we have in common," she said lightly.

He shrugged, "I got used to it but now, it's like he's on a personal mission to bring down everyone around him."

Peyton pulled a sympathetic face and touched his arm, "I'm sorry Nathan. Is there anything I can do?"

"Yeah- will you come hang out later- find out if he makes it through? I could use some moral support considering the worse half of my family will be there."

She nodded of course, "after my trial?"

"Yeah, thanks." He gave her a faint smile and then inclined his head towards the gym, "go make me proud Sawyer."

She lifted her eyes skyward and then nodded, "ahh fine!" They high fived and then low fived, giggling she rolled her eyes, "we're so lame," she muttered, before making her way inside the gym. The doors shut loudly behind her and she made her way across what felt like a mile of floor before she reached the table where Rachel, Bevin, Brooke and Haley were sitting.

She kept her arms crossed and stood in front of them, Brooke smirked, "well, great posture there blondie."

Ignoring the temptation to lean over and smack the smug look off her face Peyton lifted an eyebrow before straightening up to her full 5"9 height. Rachel raised her eyebrows and nodded, "you can stand over there," she gestured, "follow our directions and we'll see just how good my instincts are."

Peyton bit her lip; she was such a bloody masochist. It was like she was asking for the humiliation. What would her father think about this? He'd despise it- distracting her from studying, making her seem like an airhead and too many boys and parties for his liking. Suddenly her mood brightened; anything she did that her dad would dislike made her extremely happy.

"Alright Peyton," Rachel stood up and began to wave her arms about. Peyton took a deep breath and wished she was drunk enough to do this without dying a little bit inside. Rachel twirled and then pointed at Bevin, "hit the music Bev."

Bevin jumped up and ran over to the cd player, waving at Peyton brightly as she did so, "good luck Peyton!"

"Thanks," Peyton murmured. To her surprise the music wasn't bad and she found she could keep up with Rachel easily. After about five minutes Rachel nodded and stopped the music. Peyton felt breathless but triumphant, she knew she'd been good. The rest of the table, bar Brooke, were grinning and the cheerleading team clapped and cheered from the stands where they were sitting watching.

Brooke raised her eyebrows, "ok, well, that wasn't bad but we saw a lot of girls today so we'll be in touch ok?"

She'd have to wait? Peyton rested a hand on her hip and tilted her head, "you can't just make a decision now?"

"I think we need to discuss it some more."

"Brooke-"

"_Girls_," Brooke said firmly before smiling sarcastically up at Peyton, "we'll call you."

"Look can't I just go stand outside for five minutes, let you guys talk and then you can call me in and tell me? I mean it's not like there have been a lot of us trying out in the first place," Peyton gestured to the three other girls sitting talking in the corner.

Brooke narrowed her eyes, "are you going to tell me how to do my job?"

"Why? Do you need me to? I wasn't aware you needed instructions but if so-"

"What is your problem?"

"I kind of take issue with anyone that talks about me behind my back and then acts like she didn't do anything wrong," Peyton said taking a step forward as Brooke stood up.

"Really? And who are you to talk miss loner? When I _know_ you've been messing around with Nathan _and_ you've been talking to Lucas."

"What?" Peyton said raising an eyebrow, "are there rules about talking to guys now?"

"There are for people like you," Brooke hissed back, "I mean come on, are you planning on majoring in being a whore next year or something and just practicing now?"

"Bitch-"

"Peyton! Brooke!" Haley stood up quickly and placed a hand on Brooke's shoulder, pushing her back down, "can we just leave this for now please?"

Peyton shrugged, "whatever. I really don't need this." She turned and stalked out of the gym, ignoring Haley and Rachel calling after her.

* * *

Storming across the parking lot she dropped her bag and swore loudly.

"Wow- way to scare the crows," a voice joked behind her.

She straightened up from scrabbling around picking up sketches and was about to tell the kid where to go when she realised it was Lucas. She bit her tongue and ran a hand through her hair, "someone's gotta do it and all the cheerleaders are busy."

He grinned and bent down to pick up the last few pieces of paper, "these are really good," he said incredulously, "do you have them printed?"

She snatched them from his hands, "no," she said shortly, "they're personal."

"Ok," he said softly, "I was just curious."

"Well don't be! From now on you have to have a pass just to talk to me unless you want your girlfriend to be more of a bitch than she already is," she said angrily before turning and walking towards her car.

He jogged after her in confusion, "hey Peyton wait a minute," he caught her arm and she turned in surprise, "what are you talking about?" His blue eyes searched hers, "what happened?"

She pulled out of his grip, his fingers felt like they were burning into her skin and threw her bag in the car, "let's just say Brooke doesn't like me."

"Why not?"

She raised her eyebrows, "oh please Lucas, as if you don't know."

His face flushed red, was he that obvious? "Well- I-"

"I'm not a nice person," she said flatly.

"Oh-" he fell silent, that wasn't what he had been expecting her to say. Finally he recovered, "look that's not true. I mean you might not act like you it but you _are_ nice Peyton."

"No trust me, I'm not. You're better off not knowing me Lucas."

"That's not true, I don't believe you."

"More fool you then. Look all I do is bring trouble around."

"You say that now Peyton but just look at how you are with Nathan."

She frowned, "I don't follow."

Lucas shrugged, "he's been in such a dark place all summer and it really hasn't been fun for us all trying to get through to him. But you-" his eyes met hers suddenly and she swallowed, "you just appeared like a ray of light or something and you were good to him. He's happier now," he exhaled hard, "and that's good... for him."

She found she couldn't quite speak for a second and then she nodded shortly, "well I guess I can cross save a Scott brother off my list of things to do this year."

He smiled slowly at her and looked as though he might say something more when suddenly a voice called out across the parking lot, "Lucas!"

He turned; his face like a deer caught in headlights and then glanced back at Peyton guiltily, "nice knowing you," she said softly.

He gave her the faintest of smiles and then moved across the parking lot, "Brooke- hey."

"What are you doing?"

"Umm- I was just coming in for the team meeting."

"No I mean talking to her! Lucas she's not to be spoken to- you know what she and Nathan are doing to Haley."

"Brooke- I really don't think there's anything going on there."

"You're defending her?! How can you defend her? You don't even know her!"

"Brooke look-"

"No Lucas, you should have heard some of the things she said to me in the gym!"

Peyton couldn't take listening to this for a minute longer, what was it about this girl and talking about her? Did she have nothing else to do than be paranoid? She moved away from the car and took a step towards them, "Brooke if you have something to say why don't you just say it to my face?"

Brooke turned from staring up at Lucas and narrowed her eyes, "fine," she shrugged, "I think you're a manipulative shrew."

"Oh careful with the big words there- make sure you know what they mean."

"You know- you are _so_ not welcome here. No-one wants you here, why don't you just run off back home to mom and dad and not come back here."

Peyton felt a twinge of pain as the word came up and then stamped on it, no weakness here.

"Brooke that's enough," Lucas said firmly.

"Shut up Lucas."

Peyton was silent for a second and then flicked back her hair and shook her head, "you're right." She looked up and met Brooke's eyes coldly, "you don't want me here and I don't _want_ to be here. But here we are and I can't help it anymore than you can. So could you not just let it go? Just leave me to do my thing and have my life and-" she swallowed, "and I'll leave you to your life and your people," she couldn't look at Lucas as she said the last part. All of a sudden he was too complicated for her to handle and however many wonderful things he could say to her- she couldn't cope with it right now. She turned away from his blue eyes staring at her like he'd been betrayed and began to walk back to her car. That was it then. No cheerleading, no friends, no life. Same old, same old.

* * *

She drove into town and searched for a bar, she needed a strong drink. Slipping her jeans on under the stupid cheerleading skirt, she dropped it on the floor of her back seat and pulled a hoodie over the top. Slicking eyeliner across her lids she tried to avoid eye contact with herself. The things Lucas had said and then almost said and then- Brooke. Why was there always one evil bitch that managed to get right under her skin? And how did she have a hold over someone like Lucas? Someone that seemed to have dignity and intelligence and respect and oh god the most beautiful blue eyes she'd ever seen.

She had no trouble with ID- she'd had a fake one ever since she'd lived in Tulsa, a million years ago. Back then she'd been happy, she'd had friends, she'd had- well, she'd had a good life. She sat at the almost empty bar, lighting matches and dropping them in the nearly full ashtray in front of her. She felt unclean; like she'd sold her soul to the devil, ha maybe that was exactly what she _had_ done. She nursed a shot glass between two fingers and a thumb, tipping it this way and that before taking a breath and downing it. She gasped slightly and inclined her head to the bar guy, "keep 'em coming would you please?"

He nodded silently and poured her another; thank god he wasn't feeling like being sociable either. She narrowed her eyes and decided he could look like Diego Luna in the right light, not bad, not bad. She twisted in her chair and surveyed the bar. It was dingy and looked unclean and uncared for. "Hey," she said suddenly. The bar guy raised an eyebrow to imply he was listening. "Is there anywhere, you know, different in town? Like, where does all the live music happen?"

He frowned, "live music?"

"Yeah you know, gigs and stuff."

There was a long pause and then suddenly he shouted through to the back room, "hey David this chick wants to know if there are any gigs in town."

She felt her face flame up and wished she hadn't bothered. A voice shouted back, "in Tree Hill? Ha!"

The bar guy turned back to her and shrugged, "he doesn't know any places either."

She sighed and slid off her stool; she could so not stay in here now. Once you spoke to a bartender they were generally pretty chatty all night. "Thanks anyway," she muttered.

As she headed outside she realised her cell phone was buzzing and she picked it up, "Nate?"

"Hey where are you?"

"Oh crap Nate I'm sorry! You missed a major showdown between me and Brooke and I had to get out of there."

"Oh man I missed it? Ok well we'll have to reschedule and this time can there be mud?"

In spite of herself she laughed, "shut up. Hey if you want me to come to this discussion thing I'm gonna need a lift by the way."

"Why?" Nathan chuckled, "are you at the docks or something fleeing the country?"

"No! I save that for really special occasions. I'm at some bar in town called Benton's. Drinking had to be done."

"Sawyer it's only five past five!"

"It's Friday," she retorted.

He laughed down the phone and then nodded, "fine I'll be there in ten minutes. Stay where you are."

"Thanks dude," she said briefly before hanging up and steadying herself on the pavement. Wow those shots had gone to her head. She grabbed her bag from the car and stuffed the now useless cheerleading uniform into it- she might as well return it to Rachel now rather than keep it all weekend. She reached into the back for the sketches she'd dropped earlier and sighed as she stared down at them. They meant nothing. She wanted them to mean something. She wanted them to be like the full life she craved for herself. The voice in her head pointed out that she would never have a full life if she kept pushing people away. She shushed it angrily and then threw them back onto the seat. Behind her Nathan pulled up and honked his horn. She grinned and waved and he rolled his eyes.

"You're so not sober Sawyer."

She jumped into the passenger seat and they high fived, "shut up and drive," she said smiling widely.

"You did not just say that," he shook his head, "lord I'm friends with a geek."

"Shut up!"

They pulled back into school and she sighed, "I thought I'd left this place behind for the weekend."

Nathan pulled an apologetic face, "sorry- I promise as soon as I know Whitey's gonna be ok we can go and get you properly drunk."

Her face lit up, "and can we get doughnuts too?"

He chuckled as they got out of the car, "if it'll make you happy."

"Ahh," she swung an arm round his shoulder, "you're a good friend Nathan Scott."

They walked across the parking lot with her arm around his neck but as they neared the group of cheerleaders she dropped her arm like a stone. To her surprise this time both Haley and Bevin waved. She waved back and Nathan looked at her in surprise, "what, now you're friends with my wife?"

She bit her lip, "not exactly- look she just wanted to talk," she held up a hand, "don't worry- I had your back, I didn't tell her about the nights you spent crying over her at basketball camp."

He jabbed her in the ribs and then shrugged casually, "did you umm- you know- talk about me?"

She rolled her eyes, "you're both as bad as each other."

Nathan was silent for a second, staring across at his beautiful wife, smiling at something Bevin was saying. He sighed, "it really hurts you know?" He said softly.

For a second she was shocked at the admittance and then nodded, "yeah I do. But you're the only one that can make it better Nate- it seems like she really wants things fixed."

He shrugged, "maybe someday."

"No Nathan! You only get one life!" As she was speaking Rachel approached them, smirking.

"Nathan," she said flirtatiously.

He looked her up and down and then looked away, "what's up Rachel?"

"Still wishing you'd stayed with me instead of hooking up with tutorgirl?"

He turned back to look at her, his blue eyes flashing, "not for a second," he said finally.

She rolled her eyes, "whatever," she faced Peyton, "so that was an interesting performance you put on in there emo girl."

Peyton raised her eyebrows, "um thanks?"

"Don't mention it. Anything that gets Brooke that riled up is fun for me, so," Rachel shrugged, "you got the job."

Peyton spluttered on air and Nathan's eyes widened incredulously beside her, "she did what?"

"You heard me. Rehearsals are on week nights at four except on game nights when you need to be here at six. We have an away game next weekend so you'll need to clear your schedule," she raised an eyebrow, "as full as I can imagine it is I'm sure it won't be that difficult."

Peyton resisted the urge to give a sarcastic reply and instead nodded, "'kay."

Rachel then shocked both Nathan and Peyton and even herself by really smiling suddenly, "see you Monday."

"Yeah," Peyton said faintly, "see you then."

Nathan turned to her chuckling, "oh you're in there now Sawyer."

"Pinch me," she said vaguely, "that so did not just happen."

He threw an arm over her shoulder, "Nathan is proud."

"Yeah," Peyton suddenly smiled, "yeah I guess I am a little bit too."

**Obviously there will now be much Leyton angst- my favourite thing ever :D**


	4. Fascinating Thing

**A/N: You guys are AMAZING with the reviews- thanks :)**

**Disclaimer: Yeah I think I've established what I'd do if I owned OTH- I'd spend all my money on Hilarie and Chad and get rid of Sam, Mouth, Jamie and Skillz (I love him but the money's better off spent elsewhere).**

There was a ringing noise coming from somewhere near Peyton's head. It was getting louder and more annoying by the second. She lifted her head an inch off the warmth of her pillow and smacked her hand down on the bedside table, willing it to hit her alarm clock. She missed and it fell on the floor with the jerk of the impact and she cursed, rolling off the bed slightly to reach for it and pull out the plug at the same time. Clutching her head she slipped back underneath the covers and closed her eyes. She _so_ wasn't going into school today. The aftermath of the semi-argument she'd had with Brooke in the car park had not been pretty. She'd spent Friday night drinking with Nathan, Saturday under a black cloud in her room listening to The Cure and Sunday night drinking alone. She was a sorry ass piece of work and there was no way she was going to some ridiculous cheer practice whilst she still looked like hell with a hangover. Nope. Today she was staying in bed and avoiding Tree Hill High.

"Peyton Sawyer!"

She groaned and retreated further inside her duvet without responding.

There was a banging on her door and suddenly her father appeared in her bedroom, "Peyton! You should be up and dressed, school is in an hour."

"I'm not going," she mumbled before sitting up, "and don't you knock?"

"I pay for the house, I get to go in whatever room I like Peyton."

"Gee dad so nice to have you home," she said sarcastically before collapsing back against her pillow and pulling the covers up over her head. "Now if you like I'll pay rent for my room if it'll mean you give me some privacy."

Larry stood silently for a second at the door and then strode over and whipped the duvet off the bed. "Get up Peyton! I'm not having a repeat of Oakland; you are going into school every day unless you have a damn good reason."

Cursing under her breath Peyton swung her legs over the side of the bed and without looking at him she padded towards her bathroom, "welcome home General," she muttered.

"And no more lip young lady! I get enough of that from the men."

Ignoring him she rolled her eyes and reached for her toothbrush, staring glazed eyes at herself in the mirror. Man she needed a hair cut. She couldn't stand the curls anymore; she looked too similar- she spat out and dropped her toothbrush in the sink before re-opening the bathroom door. Her father was gone and she pulled on a denim skirt and a black sweater before pushing her black converse on and grabbing her school bag. She hated Mondays.

It had been like this between Peyton and her father since her mother had passed away. She had been the light of her father's life and kept him in check when his military ways got too out of hand at home. She had been a wonderful mother and Peyton had adored her. And then one day she was gone. She wasn't at home and she wasn't anywhere else and at eight years old Peyton hadn't understood where she'd disappeared to. Devastated by her death Larry had thrown himself into work, practically leaving Peyton to raise herself and only ever coming home when he had to. Peyton had reacted to the abandonment at first with shock and confusion but as the years had gone by she'd come to a bitter understanding- the similarities between her mother Anna and Peyton were almost painful and Peyton had accepted her father's rejection as the only way of life she knew. Now she confided in no-one, trusted no-one and lived her life alone- and that was the way it was. Or the way it had been. People here were getting attached to her and although she was deeply resistant to it she knew she was becoming equally attached. Now she was terrified of the moment- and she knew it would come- the moment when they realised she wasn't good enough, just as her father had done, and turned their back on her.

She reached for her car keys and stamped down the stairs to where her father was standing at the kitchen table eating- a habit she had somehow picked up from him- and he glanced up as she headed for the front door. "Hey!" He followed her down the hall, "you don't eat breakfast anymore?"

"If you were here you'd know that I don't eat food anymore, I drink supplement shakes instead," she snapped before opening the door, Larry stopped her and pushed the door to.

"Peyton we need to talk."

"Right, just tell me where we're going and I'll pack my stuff," she said, ignoring the despair in her heart- she'd only just gotten here!

"It's not about moving Peyton, it's about staying."

She frowned, "what do you mean."

"You should sit down Peyton."

"I'll stand," she said firmly, crossing her arms and turning to face him, father and daughter almost parallel in their stance, stared across at each other in the narrow hallway.

"Peyton there are some things you don't know about Tree Hill and your history here."

Her face clouded in confusion, "my history? I've never been here in my life."

"But you have-"

As Larry began to speak Peyton's cell began to ring and she held up a finger, "hold that thought," she said before flipping open her cell, "Nate I'm kind of in the middle of something- oh, yeah ok, yeah I can be there in ten minutes. Sure, see you then." She snapped the phone shut and pulled a semi apologetic face, "sorry to interrupt the heart to heart you were attempting to have eight years too late dad but I gotta go."

Her father sighed, "Peyton I would very much like to have this conversation with you."

"Yeah?" She swung open the door and turned back to him," well I've been wanting to have a conversation with you for years so I guess we're even now."

"Peyton if you walk out this door there'll be consequences!"

"What?" She said incredulously as she climbed into her car, "you're never here to ground me so what could you do?!"

He winced and looked at her helplessly as she reversed down the drive. Peyton raised her eyebrows, challenging him and yet she felt only disappointment when he turned back inside the house and shut the door. "Thanks for all the disciplining dad," she muttered before turning onto the road and reving her engine angrily.

Nathan jumped off the wall outside his house and smiled at her faintly as she pulled up, "hey thanks- my car wouldn't start and I really didn't want to have to get anyone from the dealership out here- they're all related to me."

Peyton grinned, "avoiding relatives, there's something I completely understand." She frowned when she saw Nathan was looking at her perculiarly as he got in beside her, "what?"

He looked up, disappointed, "no cheerleading outfit today?"

She punched him in the arm and he laughed loudly, "jackass," she muttered, "how long were you thinking that one up for."

"Ohh," he was still chuckling as he sat back, hands above his head, "about twenty minutes."

"Yeah well next time keep your thoughts inside you head, perv," she added before pulling back onto the road.

Nathan snorted, "what you don't indicate?"

"Safe driving is for wimps," she replied airily.

"Or for people who want to get to school alive?"

"Who said anything about me wanting that?"

Nathan rolled his eyes, "but then you'd miss English! And your first cheerleading practice- how could you possibly pass that up."

Despite herself she grinned, "well I guess I can wait till later to run some reds. I'll get you to school in one piece."

"You're a good friend Sawyer," he said smiling and then flicking through her cds, "although a good friend with some terrible music taste; who the hell are Dirty Vegas?"

Once at school Nathan gestured, "here park over there."

"Why? I got directed over to the back last week by your favourite cheerleader."

He shot her a warning look and then pointed, "seriously, just park here. I'm so not up for walking- I haven't done that since... well never, i've always been popular and allowed to park here," he said grinning at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him warningly and then rolled her eyes, "fine! I cannot believe you call yourself an athlete."

* * *

They wondered across campus together and Peyton attempted to avoid eye contact with a tall blonde sitting reading a copy of The Cider House Rules, on a bench outside. He glanced over the top of his book as she walked past and his eyebrows raised minimally as though to acknowledge her. For a second she did nothing, staring wistfully back at him and then suddenly Brooke appeared on the bench next to him and she looked away. As she cast a casual glance over her shoulder Lucas was twisting to look at her and she met his eyes. Feeling her heart pounding she gave him an inch of a smile and then turned to follow Nathan into the main building.

"Nathan, do you have a second?"

Whitey the coach was gesturing to Nate and he nodded, "sure coach- hey Sawyer I'll catch up with you ok?"

"Sure," she muttered. She was still deep in thought about Lucas and how absurdly good looking he was. His eyes were so intense and his gaze made her knees feel weak. God she was a mess, she shook her head and tugged her locker open.

"Hey Peyton." She turned in surprise to see Haley next to her.

"Hey- uh- Haley right?"

"Yeah. How was your weekend?"

Peyton raised an eyebrow, "are you talking to me?"

"I said your name didn't I?"

She smiled, this girl was a little bit feisty, she liked that. She shut her locker door, "my weekend was average, how was yours?"

"Spent most of it working- you know Karen's Cafe?" Peyton shook her head as they started walking and Haley continued, "i'ts cool- you should check it out. Plus I know the owner so you might ocassionally score a free cup of coffee."

"Dully noted!"

"So what did you get up to?"

"Ahhh, I spent most of it with my four favourite boys so," she shrugged, "I can't complain."

Just as she was saying this Lucas was walking behind them, following them into the classroom and he cleared his throat loudly as he stalked past them to his desk, hearing her talk about other guys was so not how he wanted to start his morning.

Peyton blinked in confusion, "what's he got up with him?" She said loudly. He turned and shot her a look and she narrowed her eyes back.

Haley grinned, "i'm sure he was just being friendly. So, four guys?" She sat down and Peyton followed suit smirking.

"Yeah, you don't know the saying? Jack, Jim, Jonny and Gin."

Haley blinked, bemusement painted across her face and Peyton shook her head, "never mind." At the front Lucas smiled to himself, she was so trying to be cool and funny and it was _so_ not working.

Nathan appeared at the door and slugged his gym bag over the desks, casually knocking Luke's entire desk of books and papers onto the floor as he went past. Peyton rolled her eyes, god these two needed to be locked in a room together or something.

"Sawyer," he muttered. He glanced up and realised Haley had been leaning back talking to Peyton and for a second he was silent. Finally he inclined his head and met Haley's eyes, "hey."

She couldn't have looked more surprised and she smiled suddenly and replied quietly, "hi."

"Alright ladies and gentlemen let's begin our class, so little time and so very much of Shakespeare to cover!" Miss Francis gaily called out and wrote with a flourish across the board, Hamlet, in giant letters. Haley gave both Peyton and Nathan a brief smile before tipping forward on her chair and focusing on her books and Peyton turned to widen her eyes at Nathan.

"You're actually speaking to someone other than me?!"

He shrugged awkwardly, "yeah well if you're gonna start being friends with her I guess I ought to be civil."

She smirked and raised her eyebrows, "yeah- _that's_ why you have to talk to her."

"Shut up," he muttered and she shook her head in amusement before turning to her own copy of the play.

"So what did everyone think? Miss Gattina?"

Rachel lifted her head from her hands briefly, "I thought it was pretty pointless him even talking for about four of the hours of the play considering the outcome."

Peyton looked up in surprise; Rachel actually read literature? The red head shrugged before collapsing on her hand again, "it was kind of dull," she finished.

"Dull?! Pointless?!" Lucas was staring at her incredulous, "Hamlet stands for everything that is noble and right about what a man should do with his life!"

Nathan scoffed beside Peyton, "yeah because being noble means lying to the people you love and ultimately killing everyone around you."

"No," Lucas said, narrowing his eyes at his brother, "the play's main theme is family loyalty-"

"Yeah and you've totally got that down right Luke? I would have thought that actually the main theme of the play was Hamlet's wish for revenge."

"Something you might recognise right little brother?"

"No." Nathan met Lucas' eyes coldly and Peyton realised she was holding her breath; it was almost like they were fighting without fists. "Hamlet lets revenge consume his life. Everything becomes about defeating Claudius. He pushes his whole life away because of it and ultimately ends up alone."

"But surely he's serving a nobler purpose than just living out his own _selfish_ life? I mean he takes down the bad guys on the way out so ultimately Hamlet's life is not in vain."

Nathan's jaw hardened as Lucas spoke and he cracked his neck menacingly, "maybe he shouldn't spend so much time worrying about other people's battles and focus on the issues in his own life. His father's death wasn't his fault- why should he die for it?"

"He chooses to fight the battle though- he chooses to be the hero because it's the right thing to do, wouldn't you agree?"

"Look call it what you will but for most of the play Hamlet's an indecisive moron who doesn't know what he wants and ends up destroying innocent lives."

"He was just trying to help," Lucas replied coolly.

"Maybe he should have just stayed out of it and run off to wherever he was supposed to be going."

"Maybe because he didn't want to be a coward? Maybe he wanted to face the issues he had head on?"

"What the hell would you know about facing issues Lucas?"

"More than you!"

"Alright!" Miss Francis clapped her hands, "enough boys. The main soliloquy of the play- Hamlet's key thought process in Act III. What is Shakespeare trying to achieve with Hamlet's thinking?"

There was a silence as most of the class were still watching Nathan and Lucas glowering at each other. Peyton cleared her throat uncomfortably and decided that if she didn't speak both boys would be looking at her to choose sides any second now, "I would say that he's trying to prove that there are two sides to every argument. Often there is no right or wrong- just the grey in between. Hamlet is torn between is duty to his father and his own desires. Ultimately the people who really suffer are the only truly innocent characters such as Ophelia, because all she did was fall in love with the wrong person." She fell silent feeling like she was talking about something eerily familiar and her face was red hot as the whole class now considered what she'd said.

"Anyone disagree?" Miss Francis leant against the desk and waited for her unenthusiastic students to speak.

"Uh, well," Haley raised her hand, "I would say that actually although Ophelia was in love with the wrong person instead of taking Hamlet's rejection as a signal that she could finally break free she _chose_ to take her own life. There is still a choice involved at every stage of life. Ophelia had a chance to leave and a chance to be free but instead she chose to stay and chose to react to Hamlet's abandonment in an extreme way. Personally I think it was almost revenge."

"Revenge?" Miss Francis looked at her in surprise, "how so?"

"Well, Ophelia managed to have her own personal revenge against Hamlet's neglect by making him realise how much he truly lost. By taking her own life she made sure that even if Hamlet changed his mind he could never ever win her back."

There was a silence and Nathan shifted uncomfortably.

"It's so depressing," Bevin suddenly said.

The class laughed and there was almost a palpable relief in it. Miss Francis straightened up and began to write on the board. "In your groups I would like you to discuss these key words and how they are represented within the play."

Peyton wrote the words down carefully in her swirly italic handwriting, her head full of thoughts. Jesus who knew Tree Hill students could get so deeply into Shakespeare before lunch?

* * *

By lunch time she was ready for a break from people. She needed to sit and think. Forget about school; she still felt riled by her argument/discussion with her father this morning. What the hell had he been talking about, a history here? She didn't think she could handle any more complications right now. She was getting so close to people and they were already sucking her into their lives. She sat down heavily in the hushed art room and pulled out her sketch pad. Thank god hardly anyone came in here at lunch time. She pulled out a half finished piece and stared down at it. It was of her class in English, Rachel lounging in the corner with her legs stretched across another desk as she twisted round to say something to Bevin. Bevin was laughing with her bubbly smile captured perfectly and Nathan was sitting next to her, his arms crossed defensively and a scowl on his face- only Peyton would be able to catch that hint of warmth and humour in his eyes. Brooke and another cheerleader she thought was maybe called Callie or Chelsea were giggling at the front. Miss Francis was waving her hand happily around holding a copy of Peyton's personal favourite Shakespeare 'The Tempest' and a girl Peyton had learnt was called Gigi was raising a hand to answer a question with a nod. Several of the basketball jokes were arm wrestling and she had just finished the intelligent looking frown to Haley's face when someone's shadow broke her vision and her thoughts.

"I didn't know anybody else knew this place was available for hiding out in."

She glanced up and half smiled, half wishing she wa ssomewhere far, far away. God it seemed like even when she was trying, she couldn't avoid this one, couldn't run from him. Lucas smiled at her warmly and gestured to the seat opposite her, "can I?"

She nodded mutely and he sat down, unrolling the book he'd been reading earlier. He inclined his head to her sketch book, "does that look like a familiar scene or am I way off?"

She blushed and folded another piece of paper over it quickly, "oh it's nothing-"

"Come on, can't I see?" His blue eyes pleaded with her and she rolled her own.

"Fine! But if you don't like it don't complain." She handed it to him reluctantly and he gave her a smirk and mouthed thank you.

He stared at it in silence for a minute and then looked up at her slowly, "this is amazing Peyton," he said softly, "you got everybody just right."

"Thanks," she made to tug it off him and he pulled it back for a second.

"What's with the blank desk where I would be?" He looked almost hurt and she resisted the urge to blurt out that it had been impossible to for her to draw him without being unable to resist making him look too beautiful to match the rest of the picture. To tell him that when she thought about him and his perfect eyes ad his chisled cheek bones she had to shake herself and say that no-one could possibly be that good looking- but he was, oh god he was.

Finally she shrugged, "I couldn't remember your jaw line well enough."

His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her, a smidgen of disbelief in them and then finally he leant back and shrugged, "so draw me now."

"Excuse me?"

"You have to include me to finish the class- however much my brother might wish I wasn't there."

She rolled her eyes, "yeah well if you didn't spend the entire class aggravating each other maybe that would make a difference."

"Hey!" He pointed his book at her, "I don't aggravate him on purpose."

"What, it just comes naturally to you?"

He smirked, "maybe."

Against her will she smiled back, "you two are driving me crazy," she muttered.

"Oh?" His voice was light but his eyes searched hers intently, "how so?"

She met his eyes steadily for a second thinking about all the things she could say right now, all the things she could do- and then looked away, brushing him off, "just that if the two of you are gonna play basketball together then surely you should start at least acting civilly. I don't want to have to cheer for a crappy team."

He chuckled, opening his book, "there won't be any problems there. We're awesome. Besides," he added in a quieter voice, "it always helps when there's someone there to impress."

She glanced up at him and felt her cheeks flame as his eyes flicked from the page to meet hers. For a moment she felt her heart flutter and her breath quicken then blinked as she remembered he had a girlfriend; he was no doubt referring to her. Sighing internally she picked up her pencil and sketched in his desk. "Alright," she said suddenly, "I'll draw you now- but stay still!"

"I'll be as still as stone," he quipped.

"I expect nothing less," she said sternly.

"Wow, you're kind of bossy!"

"You have no idea," she retorted.

He raised an eyebrow and then found his page. He gazed at the page unseeingly as out of the corner of his eye he watched a much more interesting subject. Her green eyes were narrowed in concentration but there was a softness to her face he had hardly seen before. It was almost as though the weight of the world had left her as she drew and her face was relaxed even. She looked happy. He felt a contentment as he watched her and then a twinge of guilt as he remembered Brooke; he'd left her sitting with the rest of the cheerleaders to get away and think about what the hell he was doing. And now he was throwing himself into the one situation he should be pulling away from. But he couldn't. He just couldn't deny how strongly he was drawn to Peyton. Whether they were just bantering and sparring together in class or like just now, or having serious conversation or even just sitting together in silence he found he connected with her like no-one else.

Opposite him Peyton was trying to keep her breathing even and not snap her pencil tip by getting overcome with excitement and twitching or something else that would make her look totally weird. She could feel her heart beating against her sweater and she wondered wildly suddenly if maybe he could hear it. Trying to breathe in deeply to calm herself she suddenly found herself overcome with the hiccoughs. Biting her lip and attempting to silence them she closed her eyes as she let out a strangled noise. Lucas looked up in surprise.

"What was that?!"

"Nothing!"

"Are you serious?" He was smiling widely, "did you just hiccough?! I haven't had those in years!"

"Well then- hic- you're just weird," she said crossly.

"Oh my god, this is hilarious," he said laughing.

"It's not!"

"I have to film this," he said reaching for his phone.

"No Lucas stop- hic- it! I'll hurt- hic- you!"

"Ohh there's a threat- oh beautiful- pose!"

"Stop it!" She reached across to punch his chest as she did with Nathan but unlike Nathan who normally swatted her away Lucas caught her hand easily. She stopped laughing as she stared at her hand in his. There was a silence in the room as Lucas gazed at the tiny hand and wondered whether he should pull her closer or even if he had the strength and control to let her go.

"Sawyer?"

They both turned in surprise to see Nathan coming round the screen that broke up the studio and Peyton pulled her hand away quickly. Lucas was still sitting dumbstruck.

"Nathan! What are you doing in here? I'm surprised you haven't broken out in hives," she said teasingly.

"Ha ha," he replied drily, "although I do think my hands are swelling up so come on, you want some lunch?"

"Uhh yeah sure," she glanced at Lucas apologetically and his eyes implored her to stay but god she knew if she did she just wouldn't be able to resist him.

"Lucas," Nathan said shortly, "didn't know the girlfriend's short leash allowed you out this far."

Luke's eyes flashed and slowly he stood up, "I wasn't aware I needed your permission to talk to people Nathan."

"It's for the good of the world really Luke- I mean is it really fair that you inflict your hair on people? And besides someone of double your intelligence shouldn't have to put up with you."

Lucas' face hardened and he opened his mouth to respond when suddenly Peyton snapped her folder shut, papers flying everywhere but she ignored them crossly. Enough was enough. She could not handle the two people she was growing closest to bitching at each other every time they were around her. "Jesus Christ you guys, stop it!"

They stopped glaring at each other and looked at her in surprise; "Peyt-" Nathan began.

"No!" She held up her hands, "look I know you two have issues, god knows we all do, but if you can't at least be civil to one another in my presence I'm gonna have to take my superior intelligence elsewhere because I can't handle this! I am new here! You should be convincing me that Tree Hill High is full of beautiful people and hot guys that carry my books not filled with morons that seem to spend their time arguing over things that happened a very long time ago! Either get it together or organise some sort of schedule to do this when i'm not here because right now you two are making me tear my hair out and you're acting like chumps!"

They both stared at her and then Nathan's mouth twitched, "chumps?"

Behind her Lucas sniggered and she glared at them both before snatching her bag up and storming towards the door, "oh go make out or something you losers," she muttered.

"Hey Peyton wait!" Nathan called after her but he was smiling and she waved a hand behind her in dismissal.

"You're both dead to me," she shouted. She could hear them both laughing even as she stalked away. Well at least they were laughing together about something.

Nathan turned to leave the room finally and then changed his mind and glanced back at his brother, "see you at practice?"

Lucas finished grinning at Peyton's 'chump' and nodded, "sure."

He reached for his book and one of the sheets of paper on the floor caught his eye; it was the picture of the class. He smiled faintly as he gazed at it again and then took in the sketch she'd just added of him. It caught him mid laugh and he was looking at the empty space where he guessed she would have finally added herself in. There was a lightness around him and he looked happy, he wondered if that was how she saw him. Almost parallel to the way hhe saw her. Light, perfect, beautiful. Carefully he slipped the sketch into his book bag and then smiling to himself headed out into the September sun.


	5. Terrible Storm

**A/N: I'm not sure if I like parts of this chapter, so if it's not up to scratch I'll write a chapter 5.2 or something! You guys have been great with the reviews so let me know if you thought it was ok! Haha my writer's neurosis is spilling out right now so I'll stop rambling. Love x.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill. It felt like time for a formal one of these.**

Peyton collapsed on one of the gym's back benches and dropped her head between her knees, jesus these guys could cheer for hours! Her eyes travelled across the room to the far end where the guys were practicing and she noticed Nathan actually throwing the ball across to his brother. She bit her lip smiling and then looked hastily away as Lucas glanced in her direction. She rubbed at her ankle for a moment and then hesitantly raised her eyes back up to where he was standing; only to find him still looking at her. A smile twitched across his face and he pulled at his vest before turning away, grinning to himself. Peyton shook her head, cursing herself for being so obvious when someone sat down heavily beside her.

"You don't look half bad out there Sawyer." Nathan smacked her thigh casually and she hit his shoulder.

"Don't touch what you can't handle Scott," she said teasingly.

He rested his elbows on the bench behind them and raised an eyebrow at her, "please, as if."

She inclined her head to where some of the girls were taking a water break and Haley was laughing at something Brooke was saying, "you said hello?"

"I'm being civil Peyt, not friendly," he said shortly, rubbing his forehead.

"There's a difference?"

"Yes!"

A pair of long legs suddenly laid across Nathan's lap and Rachel swung an arm round his neck, "hey sexy," she muttered.

Nathan shrugged her arm off and pushed her legs away, "give it a rest Rachel."

"You know I would; but your eyes were calling out to me."

"I've seen it all before remember?"

"Doesn't mean you can't see it again."

Peyton rolled her eyes at the pair of them, the sexual tension was rife all over the place here. Ignoring her own constant reminder of this fact and choosing to look the other way, she got up and stretched, "I'm gonna let you two kiss and make up," she announced, "and get out of here."

"We're not done," Rachel said quickly, "and you and I were just getting started," she added in Nathan's ear. He couldn't help but laugh, she was so forward and so much more light and easy than his other difficult and complicated relationship.

Rachel jumped up and looped her arm through Peyton's, "you proved me right Peyton; you're a natural."

"I'm not sure that's a compliment," Peyton quipped.

"Oh please, like being hot and popular is a problem."

"Maybe not for you," Peyton said lightly, "but I like to be alone and being popular kind of defeats the pont."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "how long will you be keeping up this whole, I'm a brooding loner leave me alone crap? Because it's already overplayed."

Peyton narrowed her eyes at her, "I'll let you know when I'm done with it."

"All the assurance I need," Rachel smirked at her, "now seriously, just confirm how real this whole 'friendship' thing you have going on with Nathan is because it seems to me like you two are pretty close."

Peyton grinned, "we are. But we're just friends. Seriously, does everyone in this place need a definition of the word friends printed out to carry around with them at all times? Just because we're hanging out does not mean we're sleeping together. Besides," she raised her eyebrows, "he's married."

"So? Doesn't mean he's taken."

"Actually, isn't that exactly what it means?"

Rachel kinked her eyebrow, "I'm pretty good at blurring the lines."

Shaking her head Peyton chuckled and then joined the line next to Brooke and Haley. Brooke scowled at her.

"Do you have to stand next to me?"

"Brooke," Haley said softly.

"I don't have to," Peyton said sweetly, "I just _so_ like to be near you. Look there's no-where else to stand. If you want to actually look like a decent cheerleading squad get over it."

Brooke sulked silently and Haley smiled to herself.

The boys were finishing practice and Nathan gave Peyton a brief wave as he headed towards the changing rooms. Rachel wiggled her fingers back at him and Peyton inclined her head. Her eyes caught sight of the number 3 vest and before she could look away Lucas twisted his head and his blue eyes met hers. He gave her a brief smile and she was about to respond when Brooke suddenly hissed, "what are you doing?"

Peyton turned to look at her, eyes wide, "excuse me?"

"Quit staring at my boyfriend!"

She couldn't help but laugh, "what? You're telling me where my eyes can travel now?"

"Brooke," Haley began again.

"Haley stay out of this!"

"Hey don't talk to her like that," Peyton said warningly.

"Don't tell me how to treat my friends!"

"Well don't tell me where I can and can't look!"

"I can do what I want," Brooke sang out before pushing at Peyton's shoulder.

"Don't do that," Peyton said shortly. At the other side of the gym Nathan had come back for his hoodie and Lucas caught his shoulder.

"We may have a problem," he muttered, gesturing over to the girls. Nathan glanced over to where Peyton was suddenly taking a step towards Brooke and shook his head.

"Dude, you're causing problems all over the place aren't you?"

"What? This isn't my fault!" Even as he said however, Lucas felt guilty, Brooke was being a complete bitch to Peyton and both of them knew why.

Peyton folded her arms, "look Brooke, I've told you I'm not interested in having your life, why don't you just stay the hell out of mine?"

"Because I don't like you."

"Oh no!" Peyton clasped her hands together, "whatever will I do without Brooke Davis' approval?!" Raising her eyebrows she looked the brunette up and down and then turned to walk away. Forget this practice, she could catch up tomorrow- it was hardly brain surgery.

"Hey! We're not done here!" Brooke caught her shoulder and Peyton tugged away sharply.

"Get off me!"

"Why, does the fake blonde not want her pretty face smashed in?"

"Oh ple-"

"Hey, hey," Nathan dived in front of Peyton and swinging an arm round her waist began to pull her backwards, "leave it, _leave_ it Sawyer."

"I never did anything to you," Peyton yelled across at Brooke as Nathan pulled her away.

"You exist don't you?!"

"Brooke," Lucas shouted as he tugged her away, "stop it!"

She yanked her wrist out of his grip and stood, staring at him incredulously, "you're defending her again?"

A silence fell across the gym as Lucas' arms dropped and he stood looking at her awkwardly, "no I just meant-"

"I know what you meant Lucas."

Nathan stopped wrestling Peyton and let her storm away, the door slamming loudly behind her and Lucas flinched with the sound.

* * *

That's it Peyton thought angrily as she threw together her things and stuffed them into her gym bag. She was so done. Forget cheerleading, forget trying to be friendly, the bitch had been well and truly been set free. Peyton Sawyer wasn't threatened by anybody. She kicked open the changing room door and into the rainy evening. There was thunder brewing and she tipped her head up to the sky, scrunching her face up. God dammit!

"Hey, Peyton!"

She sighed and started to walk, "just leave me alone Lucas!"

He caught her arm and twisted her round and she tried to not let the fact that soaking wet he looked even better distract her, "can't you wait a second?"

"I'm already being made a pariah just for acknowledging your existence, isn't that enough for you?"

"Peyton I've known Brooke a long time and she's not normally like this!"

"Well that's wonderful for you Lucas but _I_ know her like this and I can't handle it along with everything else in my life! I didn't ask for this."

"I know you didn't, I know," he said quickly, "I'm sorry."

She wrenched her arm out of his hands and pushed her soaking wet hair out of her eyes, searching for the right words. They stood, staring at each other intently for a second as the rain dripped down her neck and made her shiver involuntarily.

"I don't think we can keep talking Lucas," she said finally, lowering her eyes to the ground.

He took a step towards her in surprise, "what?"

"I'm sorry," her voice was barely audible over the pouring rain and Lucas wished he couldn't hear her. She tried to smile, "I don't want you to get a letter informing you I'm swimming with the fishes or anything like that."

He didn't laugh, his face was stony and he seemed oblivious to the rain splashing on his face, "this isn't funny."

"I don't know what else to say Luke."

"Look just let me talk to Brooke- I can fix this!"

"No Lucas, just leave it. It's ok- just think of me as the blonde chick at the back of your English class that sometimes says things you don't agree with."

"You're saying things I don't agree with right now!"

"Luke come on! I need to blend in, not get beat up on by half the cheerleading squad!"

"But I- I don't want you to just be some girl in my english class Peyton."

She bit her lip and looked up at him, her green eyes filled with sadness and he stared back at her desperately, "me either," she said quietly. "But I don't have a better answer."

"Can't you just ignore Brooke?"

"No! Lucas I don't let people stamp on me just to make themselves feel better and you shouldn't either!" She resisted the urge to ask him why the hell he was with Brooke in the first place and instead shrugged, "you can't pretend like she doesn't have a problem with you talking to me and you can't keep pretending like somehow it will go away."

"Then i'll change the way things are," he said firmly.

Her green eyes widened in shock and she swallowed, "I- I don't want you changing your life for me!"

"What if I want to?" His face was stubborn and she shook her head.

"You shouldn't have to."

"That's not why is it?" He took a step towards her and she took one back, "you mean it's too much for you." He flicked his hair away and gazed at her impatiently, "heaven forbid you actually make a serious connection here right?"

There was a silence and the rain poured between them. Peyton couldn't argue with him. She had wanted to keep her head down and just get through the year here, not land right in the middle of the complicated Scott lives. "I gotta go," she said suddenly, "and you ought to go inside and see your girlfriend."

"Peyton-"

She smiled quickly, "I'm ok. It's ok." She backed away, unable for a second, to tear her eyes away from his. He stood, watching her go, unable to move back inside and unable to run after her. She dropped her bag on the front seat and drove out of the parking lot; avoiding looking in the rear view mirror and seeing the heartbroken look on his face. Lucas stayed where he was until the lights from her car were lost in the traffic and then reluctantly he turned to go back inside the gym. After all, she wasn't his to chase...

But he wished to god she was.

* * *

She didn't sleep well. In fact she wasn't sure she slept at all. At six she gave up and decided to re-organize her record collection. Halfway through deciding whether to have all her bands beginning with 'The' as a separate group or just throw them in with eveything else, she had a flash back to the previous afternoon- Lucas' sorrowful face, Brooke yelling at her, driving away in the rain- and she dropped the records on the bed and jogged down the stairs. Her father was back at the base and the dark quiet enveloped her like a familiar friend. She poured herself some cereal and sat cross legged on the table, reading an old copy of THUD and attempting to distract herself.

Lucas, implying he would willingly change, or at least alter in some small way, his life for her, when he'd known her less than two weeks. There was no easy way to forget that. It scared the hell out of her, especially considering that if he asked her to run away to Paris with him tomorrow, she'd probably say hell yes. She was well and truly infatuated. But the natural P Sawyer instincts not to get attached and to flee at the first sighting of serious feelings were kicking in and she felt well and truly confused.

At seven, she was no closer to forgetting what had happened and decided to go for a run. She pulled a Placebo tour hoodie over her vest and tugged on a battered pair of running shoes before grabbing her ipod and her keys. She ran through town like there was a fire behind her and then relaxed as she reached the quieter roads. It was beautiful out by the lake and she stopped to take a breath. A car flew past and just as she was straightening up it caught a puddle and covered her in dirty water. "Mother f-" she wiped mud from her face and cursed again under her breath. It just wasn't going to be her week.

By the time she was ready for school she was extremely cross with the day. She hadn't been able to find her favourite tee shirt, a particularly angry NOFX skinny and had dropped her phone twice. There was no hot water and despite living alone for the majority of her life she had yet to master the water pipes. Wiping the last of the mud off the back of her neck with a cold towel she dropped it by the stairs and abandoned her coffee mug on the table by the door. She threw her bag over her shoulder and opened the door and almost let out a shout of surprise.

A blonde woman was standing on the door step in a leather jacket and with lots of eyeliner, "hello Peyton," she said softly, "I'm sorry I startled you."

Peyton glanced behind her, was this a joke? How did this woman know her name? "I'm sorry, can I help you?"

"Well yes actually, I'm- I'm here to see you."

Slowly Peyton lowered her bag and then crossed her arms, "I'm a little bit confused- I don't know you, do I?"

"You did once, a long time ago."

Peyton narrowed her heavily lined eyes, "ok look, I'm about to be really late for school and I am having a _crappy_ day thus far so I really can't be bothered to decipher cryptic answers like that. Who are you?"

"Well Peyton-"

"And how do you know my name?" She cut in feeling more and more uncomfortable.

"I know a lot about you Peyton, I've been hoping to talk to you for a long time now."

"Ok and now you're starting to sound like a creepy stalker," Peyton moved down the porch steps, "and I sincerely hope you don't follow me to school because I'm so not in the mood to play along today."

"Peyton please wait- I have to explain something to you."

She dropped her bag in the car and turned to gaze levelly at the woman, "you should know I have pepper spray in my hand so I wouldn't try anything weird ok? Now, who the hell are you?"

For a second the woman was silent, then she took a breath, "my name's Elizabeth; I'm your mother."

* * *

She had no idea how she got to school. One second she was almost laughing and waving her hands away, shouting at this strange woman to get the hell away from her and the next she was being pushed around in the hallway. Her feet felt like lead and she leant against the lockers, breathing deeply. What the hell was going on here?! Her father had been unavailable and she had already yelled at two officers who had told her he was unreachable. She dialled the number again as the bell went and stood in the emptying corridor, ignoring the time and covering her ear to listen to the annoying ringing on the other end of her cell.

"Hello? General Sawyer please." She began to pace, "look I don't care how busy he is, this is his daughter!" She raised her eyebrows, "oh well now you do know!" She opened and closed her locker frustratedly before resting her head against it. "What is your name? Right, Daniels, if you don't get my father on the phone in the next ten seconds I'm going to come down there and-" she stopped suddenly as a thought occurred to her, "you know what? How about you just pass on a message from me to him- I'm going to be paying him a visit. I'll be there in an hour and I'd like it if he were available. Tell him it has something to do with my parentage and he better pray to god he has a bloody fantastic reason for why he's taken seventeen years to share it with me." She hung up the phone and turned round to see Lucas and Nathan walking though the far doors and into the nearest classroom. She wished suddenly she could sink into the wall and felt relief sweep over her as Lucas didn't look up from staring at the floor pensively. At the last second Nathan turned round and saw her. Frowning he muttered something to Lucas and adjusting his bag he walked towards her.

"You look like hell," he said softly.

She threw her books into her locker and then turned to him, "Nate can you tell my calculus teacher that I had to go and see the nurse? I have to leave."

"You've just got here!"

"Yep, but I gotta go."

"Where's the fire? At least keep me company in general health!"

"Can't," she said firmly, shutting her locker, "some family crap has come up and I have to go deal with it."

"Well I'm come with you," he said suddenly.

"What? You can't! You- you have class."

He shrugged, "so? What am I gonna learn today that'll change my life?"

Peyton scoffed, "you'd be surprised what can happen before eight am."

"Alright, "he swung an arm over her shoulder, "let's get out of here then."

She felt her spirits lift slightly, "did you know that's the most commonly used line in movies?"

He chuckled, "I did actually, I saw Three To Tango once too."

"_You_ watched Three To Tango?!"

"Yeah, Haley made me watch it once," his voice was quiet and she pulled a sympathetic face.

"We're a couple of losers Nate, you know that right?"

"Speak for yourself Sawyer. So what's the deal?" They headed towards the parking lot and Peyton dug in her bag for her car keys. Nathan waited patiently for a second and then tried again, "Peyton?"

She sighed, "ughh. Ok, so, this morning a strange woman turned up literally on my doorstep and told me she was my mother." Nathan's jaw dropped open and Peyton looked at him, confusion written across her face, "my mom died nearly nine years ago Nate. She ran a red light and I never saw her again. And now she's here and saying things and I have never felt more confused."

He stood motionless by the passenger side of her car and stared at her, "jesus. I thought I had problems with my parents."

Peyton gave him a glimmer of a smile, "looks like I get to be that kid today."

**So, I can't write a S3 style story without Ellie, I hope her addition is acceptable! The BL insanity will not be lasting much longer I promise!**


	6. The Runaway

**A/N: Apologies for the longer than normal wait time for this UD- I had no laptop for four days and I promise there will be a new chapter up again v soon! As ever, reviews are love and I thank you all for all the wonderful ones you've written so far!**

**Disclaimer: if I owned OTH I would pay E4 to play the sixth season NOW instead of driving me crazy with stupid 90210 episodes... Actually if I owned OTH I'd get all the actors to live in my house and act out scenes ALL the time, but that's another plan...**

Peyton drummed her fingers on the dashboard as she stared at the road, chewing on her lip absentmindedly. Nada Surf played drifted softly through the car and occasionally Nathan stretched or yawned. They had been sitting in silence and she was grateful he wasn't pushing her to talk. She didn't know what she would say if he asked how she felt anyway. Her head was spinning and she could barely concentrate on the car in front. Every so often Nathan would clear his throat and she'd blink and re-double her efforts to focus. _Was her father her real father?_ She indicated and switched lanes to impatiently overtake a slow going mini cooper. _Was this woman deranged?_ The highway flashed past and she put her foot down to increase the blur. _Who the hell was Peyton Sawyer if she wasn't the person she'd thought she was?_ Her head hurt just trying to think about it and she switched back into the slow lane and exhaled hard.

Nathan glanced at her, "for a second I thought you were trying to beat the speed of light back there."

Despite herself she chuckled, "I only do that on weekends."

"Really?" He shifted to face her properly, "you have much luck with this piece of junk?"

"Hey! My car is perfect and you are lucky to be sitting in it."

"Better in it than flying out of it right?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, "that can be arranged."

"Alright," he held up his hands, "all jokes aside; you ok to be driving here Sawyer?"

"Of course," she said quickly, "I'm fine."

"Ok..." He shrugged and then continued, "it's just that if you hold that steering wheel any harder your knuckles are gonna bleed."

She looked down at her ghost white knuckles and immediately loosened her grip, "oh."

There was a silence before Nathan spoke again, "look I'm cool with the quiet Sawyer, but are you sure you don't wanna talk about this whole disappearing and re-appearing mother act?"

Peyton sighed and indicated to come off the highway, frowning intently in the wing mirror to avoid answering. Finally she glanced across at him and gave a faint smile, "what the hell do I say Nate? My mom died. Or I thought she did. I mean, which is worse; my mom died having lied to me about who I really was for my whole life or she staged some elaborate death to escape me?"

Nathan winced and raised his eyebrows, "you really think your mom would do that?"

"No! But then I didn't really know her at all so maybe. These are just _some_ of the thoughts going round in my head right now Nathan."

He reached across and touched the hand that was clutching at the gear stick, "we'll figure this out Sawyer," he said softly, "I got your back no matter what ok?"

She shot him a grateful smile and then rolled her eyes, "bet you're glad I walked into your English class now right?"

"I am," he said firmly.

"Crazy road trips and possible psycho mothers and everything else included?"

Nathan chuckled and then nodded seriously, "you've suddenly helped make the worst months ever survivable Peyton; so yeah I'm glad."

"Me too," she said quietly and smiled at him quickly before pulling to a halt at a huge electric gate. "Here we are."

They sat for a moment gazing up at the gate and then Nathan spoke, "so are you gonna pull forward or we gonna sit here all day?"

She scowled at him, "give me a minute Scott!"

"Alright," he said easily, sitting back and examining his nails, "let me know when we're going in to the lion's den."

She stared up at the gate for another minute, all the terrifying questions and even worse answers making her heart thud hard against her chest. She glanced back into the interior of her car to gain some sort of calm and serenity. Was it only ten thirty? She felt like the car journey had taken a year and ten seconds all at the same time. A lorry beeped behind them and she jumped, well, it was now or never. Taking a breath she slowly put her foot down and the car crawled forward. The guy at the security post leant forward;

"You got a pass?"

"No," she replied sarcastically, "we're here to enlist, can't you tell?"

He blinked and then began, "look Miss-"

"Oh for god's sake," she snapped and pushing hard on the glove compartment the lid fell forward and she snatched the green crumpled pass up and waved it in front of him.

"You should really have that on view as you arrive ma'am."

She was about to angrily retort when Nathan cut across her, "look can we get through please? We've got some pretty urgent business."

"Yeah we know how to save the world," Peyton growled.

The guard raised his eyebrows, "what is your _real_ purpose of business?"

"I'm here to see my father slash the man I've lived with all my life, General Sawyer. Would you be good enough to let him know Peyton Sawyer has arrived please?"

"You're General Sawyer's daughter?"

She sighed, "yep, lucky me right? Oh and that's Peyton, P-E-Y-T-O-N, just in case you have trouble," she said smiling sweetly up at him.

"Stay here," he muttered before turning to examine his papers.

Peyton sat back and caught Nathan smirking at her, "what?"

"You're just so darn friendly to people."

"Oh shut up! I'm allowed to be a drama queen today."

He nodded, "that's fair enough. But what was your excuse yesterday? Or the day before?"

She punched his arm and he laughed, momentarily she forgot where she was as she couldn't help but smile too. Suddenly the guard re-appeared and called out, "alright you're clear to go through Miss Sawyer, do you know where to park?"

"I've been on enough of these bases to know my way around thanks," she said grimly, suddenly tense again. She edged the car over the tyre spikes at the foot of the gate and resisted the urge to reverse back by reminding herself of the damage it would do to her tyres. She pulled up in front of her father's office after following a maze of signs that had Nathan confused within two minutes and hunched up to peer through the glass, "here we are," she muttered. She sighed and scrunched up her face feeling exhausted suddenly. "My favourite view in the world," she said sadly, "an army office."

Nathan winced sympathetically and then said softly, "if you don't wanna go in-"

"No," she opened the door and turned to smile at him faintly, "gotta go face the demons right?"

"You want me to come in with you?"

She hesitated and then shook her head, "no it's ok- thanks though. Sorry; I kind of feel like I dragged you along for nothing."

He shook his head, "it's cool Sawyer- you needed someone to make sure you didn't drive off the road."

"Well that's true," she reached out and they low fived, "for courage," she added before climbing out and shutting the door.

"I'll be here," Nathan called out the window, rummaging in his bag as he spoke to find his game-boy, "you'll be ok."

"Thanks," her mouth felt dry and her voice was barely audible. She pulled the sleeves of her hoodie over her fingers and took the steps up into the office and taking a deep breath, opened the door.

* * *

The room was empty, great. The one _bloody_ time she needed her dad more than anything, and he was late. Her eyes flicked round the walls, taking in the medals on display, pictures of endless squads who probably knew her dad better than she did, crappy paintings of men who thought themselves superior enough to commission paintings of themselves. To her surprise, on the mostly empty desk was a photograph of herself. She was about four and laughing happily with a pair of arms wrapped round her. She could see her mother's smile just at the top of the picture and swallowed hard. Was she even ok to call her mother anymore?

The door opened and she turned in surprise, her father was in the threshold looking surprisingly pale and agitated, "Peyton-"

"Hello," she said faintly, "you finally decided to listen to me and come to the rescue huh?"

"I got a garbled message from one of my men; I thought it best to come and find out what was going on."

"Well thanks for that dad. Or is it Larry? Or even General? What am I allowed to call you?" Seeing that photograph had at first made her feel sad and nostalgic for a moment in her life when she had been happy, but now she felt furious. How dare these people try to take away the few good memories she actually had?!

"Peyton," he seemed at almost a loss at where to begin, "what happened this weekend?"

"What happened is that whilst you were here, hiding away from me, a woman came to our house and told me she was my mother." She shrugged and fixed his with a hard stare, "is it true? Is she my mother?"

"She-"

"And who the hell are you in all this?!"

"Don't raise your voice at me Peyton Sawyer!"

"I can do whatever the hell I want! Because apparently, I am nobody's child!"

"Now hold on a second- you are _my_ child Peyton. I might not be your biological parent but I am sure as hell your father!" There was a pause and she stared at him unmoving, she was adopted? A tiny part of her felt a sweep of relief that she hadn't been abandoned by a living person when she was eight, one less horrific scenario she had to deal with. Anna had died, not lied and run a million miles away from her. Just died and left her alone with an incapable and unemotional father.

Larry took a breath and then moved into the room, leaning his hands on his desk for support, "your mother and I went to High School in Tree Hill."

"Please try not to break into song about it," Peyton said scornfully.

He ignored her and continued, "we were only a few years older than Ellie-"

"My mother?"

"Your _mom_ died in the hospital eight years ago Peyton. But Ellie is your biological mother yes."

Peyton shook her head, "I can't believe this. You _lied_ to me all this time!"

"Peyton-"

"All these years you actually looked me in the eye and lied to me!" She began to pace furiously, "you made me feel like crap and you left me alone for weeks on end and you never told me why! And it was because _you_ never wanted me! You abandoned me as soon as you could because I wasn't what you wanted. After Anna died that was it right? You wanted out right?" She stood in front of his desk and smashed the photo frame face down so that the glass shattered across the desk, "right?!"

"Peyton," he was looking at her in shock, "how could you even think that?"

She raised her hands in the air, "I can't imagine, really, I can't. Oh come on General- you've never spent more than five minutes with me unless you really had to."

"When your mother died-"

"But she's not my mom General! Don't call her that!"

"I will call her that because that was who she _was_ to you," he said firmly.

"But she lied to me! Dammit everyone I had the faintest inkling of trust in has lied to me for my entire life! Damn you all!"

Larry suddenly straightened up, his eyes flashing, "enough! You are angry and I understand that but I raised you to be better than this; you are not irrational and over emotional Peyton Sawyer- you are stronger than this. You will sit down and listen to me because I damn well _am_ your father, no matter what a piece of paper sixteen years ago said!"

She was silent for a second, she had never heard her father lose control like this; his shouting was normally so regimented and ordered. She felt shell shocked and bewildered and completely lost. "Why didn't you just tell me?" She asked finally in a quiet voice.

"To start with your mother and I wanted to tell you when you were old enough to understand that we did it because we loved you so much, then when your mom died- I- _I_ was in no shape to tell you."

"So you let me grow up, moving around from crappy town to crappy town thinking one thing when I was completely wrong?! You dragged me away from the people I cared about to drop me in Tree Hill where you knew there was a possibility of me finding out; but instead of telling me yourself you let a strange woman come to our house and tell me?!" She clapped her hands to make a deadened and empty sound, "full marks for cowardice there General. You can fight strangers but you can't even fight for your daughter," she shrugged, "well I guess I'm not that anyway." She turned her back on him and marched towards the door.

"Peyton dammit you get back here! You are my daughter and you can hate me for this but before you leave today we are getting to a point where you at least understand me!"

"But I _won't_ understand dad," she said suddenly, "I won't understand why you would rather spend all your time in this office, with strangers, than at home with me. And I won't _ever_ understand why you didn't even know me well enough to know I would have always rather known the truth than be lied to." She fled the room and ran down the steps and towards the car before he could argue back.

Nathan got out as he saw her running over, "Peyton?"

"Can you drive Nate? We need to go!"

"Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer!" Larry appeared at the top of the steps and then frowned as he saw Nathan, "who the hell are you?"

"He's a friend," Peyton spat, "he offered me more support than you've done in a lifetime."

Larry pointed at Nathan, "you and me will talk in a minute son," Nathan swallowed and nodded nervously. Peyton had crossed her arms like a sulky child and was glaring at her father angrily. He turned to face her and his stern expression fell away, "now look here Peyton, you're hurt and you're angry and I can understand that. But there has never been a day when I haven't loved you with all of my heart. I might not be the best at showing it but dammit you never told me you hated this life. I would have changed it in a second if you've done so. I'm not blaming you here; I'm just telling you that I would choose you over everything else, every time Peyton. And if you have questions running away won't answer any of them."

Peyton shrugged slowly, "it's one of the only things you actually did teach me how to do pretty well," she said quietly before sliding into the car and starting the engine without looking back up through the window at where Larry was standing, hands on hips, his face set with concern.

* * *

They drove silently until all at once Peyton indicated and pulled over. She rested her head on the steering wheel and then sat back and searched her pockets for her cigarettes. Nathan decided now wasn't the best time to remind her of the hazards of smoking.

"You ok Sawyer?"

She exhaled slowly and then wound down the window, resting her elbow on the car door ledge, avoiding his eyes. "Define ok," she said finally.

He shrugged, "that's your call."

Peyton stared out into the afternoon sun and shook her head, speaking almost to herself, "I feel like I've spent my whole life waiting for my dad, sitting in car parks exactly like that, being at home in the dark waiting for him to call and tell me he's ok, drifting in and out of crappy schools just because it was what he wanted, and for what? For a lie... It's all a lie." She turned to look at Nathan desperately, her green eyes filling with tears, "my whole life is a lie Nathan!"

He was about to respond when his cell phone jolted him out of the moment, he'd completely forgotten he even had it with him. He glanced down at it, "it's Lucas," he read out, "he wants to know why I'm not at practice."

"I forgot there was a world out there," Peyton murmured. His brother's name had made her heart jump but she couldn't even bring herself to think about him any further. She was too tired, too absolutely tired and confused.

Nathan shifted and slid his phone back in his pocket and then nodded, "there is a world out there Peyton. And you can be whoever you want to be in it. Your parents don't define who you are and your _whole_ life isn't a lie! A part of it might be, but you can find out the truth if you want- and you are still Peyton Sawyer, artist, student, friend to brooding basketball players," she couldn't help but chuckle as he said that.

She nodded and stubbed out her cigarette; the ash blew out the window and up into the sky, she watched it for a second and then turned and smiled at her friend, "you're right."

"I'm always right," he said casually.

She rolled her eyes and re-started the engine, "let's get out of here then," she quipped.

"Can I choose the music?" Nathan asked hopefully. She raised her eyebrows and he sighed, "fine, just nothing too whiney please!"

"I'm educating you!"

"Pfft, if that's what you call it."

She dropped Nathan off at home, insisting she would be ok alone and promising to call him later and smiled faintly to herself as she noticed a familiar brunette sitting on the bench outside his place. Nathan was scratching the back of his neck nervously as he walked towards her but he didn't immediately stalk past and into the house- progress indeed she thought.

The Comet crunched to a halt outside her own house and she sighed as she saw she also had a visitor. "We have a no trespassing sign for a reason," she snapped angrily as she got out and swung her bag over her shoulder, attempting to stride up to the house.

"Peyton I would like to talk to you, explain-"

"Explain what Ellie? That you gave me away when I was a baby? Or why you've decided today is the day you change my life forever?"

"It's very complicated Peyton-"

"Please stop saying my name like you know me, you don't know me!" She ran quickly up the front steps and felt relief as her hands immediately found her keys in her bag. She unlocked the front door and turned to look at Ellie, the similarities between them were painstakingly obvious and she scowled, "please leave me alone."

"Peyton-"

"I mean it! Whatever you have to say to clear your conscience or for your ninth step or whatever it is that drove you to wake up this morning and come over here I don't care! I don't care and I won't ever care so please, just go the hell away and leave me alone!"

Ellie was silent for a second and then nodded, "ok Peyton- if that's what you want. But if you change your mind, I work round the corner at THUD magazine, you can ask for me at the front desk." She added quickly, "please try and understand- I was so young- and there are things you don't yet know."

"I'll stay in the dark then," Peyton replied firmly before shutting the door and sinking to the floor on the other side.

She had no idea how long she sat there, her knees pulled tightly up to her chin and her hands clasped round them, holding her together. It got dark inside and she could hear cars starting and cars driving past, birds nestling for the night and sirens in the distance. She couldn't move; somehow this felt like the only place in the world she felt safe, here on this piece of floor, a photograph of her parents on their wedding day hanging above her shoulder and a picture of her when she was about eleven with her best friend from Oakland by the stairs. She was hungry, thirsty, exhausted and dirty from driving but she didn't want to eat, or drink or wash, she wanted to think. Or be thought_less_.

She drifted in and out of sleep and was woken suddenly at half eleven when the door behind her began to move. She jumped up in horror and glanced around for the nearest useable weapon- the phone book was lying on the table and she grabbed at it, backing into the hall trying to breathe, "h-hello?" Well if this was it, it probably wasn't the worst way to go she thought desperately.

Her father's silhouette appeared in the darkness and she lowered the book feeling relieved and furious all at the same time. What the hell was he doing here? He reached out and flicked on the hall light and they both squinted at each other in the new brightness. He dropped his duffle bag beside her school bag and closed the door, "we're gonna have a long talk Peyton," he said firmly.

"Actually I was about to go to-"

"You're not going anywhere kiddo," he cut in, "not this time. It might be too late for me but I am sure as hell not gonna let my daughter follow in my footsteps and run from the things that scare her." He gestured towards the living room, "now go, sit, I will get a take- out menu, and then we will talk, ok?"

She narrowed her eyes at him stubbornly for a second and then the mix of exhaustion and curiosity won out, "fine," she said gruffly, "no Tai though- I had that yesterday."

"No Tai it is," he called out as he began to walk towards the kitchen. She stood still for a moment and then he shouted, "move your butt Peyton!" And she jumped and traipsed into the living room, collapsing on the sofa and closing her eyes. This was going to be a very long conversation.

**So I know no Leyton but I kind of figured a whole chapter dedicated to this was needed. There will be lots of LP in the next chapter I promise and it will be up v soon because I'm on a roll and I'm writing it now!**


	7. Corner Of Your Heart

**A/N: The reviews have been amazing guys, thank you!**

**Disclaimer: I'm still waiting for Mark to return my calls about my suggestion of me writing a spin off LP show...**

The talk had gone on forever, she had shouted, he had shouted, she had cried and accused, been tempted to hit him and had even thrown an empty pizza box across the room until finally, she quietened. Larry had stuck to his word and told her everything, made her tell him exactly how she felt about it and even apologised in a roundabout way- but that had meant more to her than any contrived apology. Finally at six she had crawled into bed and stayed there all day. She still felt confused and angry but the hurt was less, she felt ever so slightly less betrayed. Larry had appeared at lunchtime asking her if she wanted anything and she had grunted something about soup which, for the first time in her memory, he brought her in bed with toast. By night fall she realised it was dark outside and she had completely forgotten about school. She glanced at her phone and was surprised to see she had several messages and missed calls from Nathan and Rachel. She listened to her voice mail, Nathan asking if she was alive and Rachel telling her if she didn't turn up at practice on Thursday she'd be dead. Smiling for the first time in what felt like forever she sat up to call Nathan back. Assuring him she was fine she asked about Haley waiting for him yesterday; Nathan had coughed and muttered something about notes and then changed the subject. "You gonna be in school tomorrow then Sawyer?"

She winced, "I don't know Nate- my dad's going back to base tomorrow- I think maybe I might need another day to get used to all this."

"But we've got an away game Saturday- the bus will be leaving Friday night- you've gotta come back for that."

"I don't know whether me and the cheerleaders would be a good combination right now Nate," she said lightly.

"Ah screw the cheerleading part- you promised you'd have my back! I need you to come and be the person I can talk to."

She rolled her eyes, "can't you play nice with Lucas and Haley for the weekend?"

"No," he said grinning down the phone, "they might gang up on me without you."

"Wimp."

"Say hello to kettle, pot," he retorted.

"Ugh, you're mean tonight!"

"Well, I was a loner in school today- I'm not happy about it."

She giggled, "sorry about that, but I was having a mini family crisis, you know the type, girl finds out she's adopted and that her mother lives in the town she just moved to, the usual."

"Sounds like Tree Hill to me," Nathan remarked, "we get that all the time here."

"What, you guys put something in the water?"

"Something like that. Anyways Sawyer don't change the subject, are you gonna come to the game or not? It'll be fun- I'll buy you pizza Saturday night..."

"Ohh well there's an offer I can't refuse- pizza!"

"Is that a yes?"

Peyton chewed her lip for a second, it might be better than staying home alone for the weekend- and she had promised Nathan... and Lucas would be there... "Fine," she said finally, "but throw some cake in there too and I might even make a few jokes over the weekend."

"You got yourself a deal. So what's the deal with the play we're supposed to be reading this week, is it worth reading?"

She scoffed, "you should be reading it whether it's any good or not; besides it's Shakespeare- it's always good!"

"Pfft, yeah well this Macbeth dude's got a wife more complicated than mine."

"Was that humour in your voice Nathan Scott?"

"No, you misheard me," he said stubbornly.

"I did not!"

"I'm hanging up now Sawyer."

"Ha, face it Nathan, you have a sense of humour."

"We're not friends anymore."

"Aw I love ya too kid."

"Goodbye."

"Byyyeeee, byeee." She could hear him sniggering as he hung up the phone and she herself felt better as she dropped her phone on the bedside table, it was nice to know she could still laugh.

"Peyton?"

She looked up startled and shouted for her dad to come in, "it's open!"

Larry appeared in the light of the landing and gave a half smile, "you ok?"

She pulled her knees up to her chest and shrugged, "could be worse I guess."

He motioned to the bed and she nodded, he sat down and patted her knee, "you thought about what I suggested?"

Peyton shrugged, "I don't think I'll be doing that any time soon dad." He looked at her sharply and she raised an eyebrow, "what?"

"It's nice to hear 'General' hasn't caught on," he muttered gruffly.

"Oh," she rubbed her face awkwardly, "sorry about that."

"You were entitled. Now look Peyton I know you don't want to know her now but Ellie is your mother-" he held up a hand to stop her interrupting, "and she can answer things I can't."

"I don't have any questions," she said crossly, "I know everything I need to know- you raised me, mom raised me, I don't need another parent telling me to get my butt out of bed, I have you to do that."

Larry chuckled, "easy kid. Now look," he fixed her with a serious gaze, "you don't have to see her and now you know what I knew about her if that's enough- that's fine by me. But you have my blessing to find out what you want from Ellie Peyton, she is your mother after all."

Peyton was silent, messing with her cover, picking at a thread, gently Larry reached out and took her hands; she looked up at him startled, she wasn't sure she remembered the last time he'd hugged her. For a second they sat in silence, staring at their hands then Larry cleared his throat, "I can stay here- uh- this weekend if you want."

She shook her head, "no it's ok, I've got that away basketball thing anyway."

His eyebrows shot up, "are there gonna be boys at this basketball thing?"

"No," she said quickly, "we only cheer for the girls team."

He frowned, "is that Nathan kid gonna be there?"

She scrunched up her nose, "ew dad come on! We're just friends! Besides he's married."

"Hmmm, are there any other boys I should be running background checks on?"

"Dad!"

* * *

She hadn't been in school for three days. She hadn't been to cheer leading practice and raised her eyebrows in disdain at the ridiculous cheers the girls did or got in any fights with Rachel or Brooke. She wasn't lighting up the art room and leaving her sketches trailing behind her as she jumped up to leave. There had been no sarcastic remarks, no arguments and no-one making him laugh in class. No-one telling him he was ridiculous for having the opinions he did. No-one was challenging him to argue his points. No other eyes stirred something inside of him the way hers did. No other eyes were so perfect... He took a shot with the ball he was holding and missed _again_, behind him Nathan chuckled, "you better not play like that on Saturday dude, or you'll be personally responsible for two championship losses."

Lucas scowled at him, "shut up man, I wasn't trying."

"Distracted?" Nathan asked lightly, picking up the ball and sweeping it in easily.

"Why would I be distracted?" He caught the ball up and took a shot, it bounced on the rim and over into his brother's hands.

Nathan clicked his tongue and shook his head, bending his knees, "this is how you do it Luke," he muttered, before looping it into the air and watching it skim into the basket. He dusted his hands together and grinned slyly, "learn from the best brother."

"You learnt from me first," Lucas retorted.

"Ha," Nathan rolled his eyes, "anyway, seriously what's up with you?"

They were in the empty gym and it was past six, Lucas had been shooting hoops for over two hours and was still no closer to any actually going in. Nathan had been in the weight room and had dropped by and seen Lucas standing despondently as another ball bounced away.

Lucas threw the ball in one last attempt to drop it into the net and growled as he missed it again, "there is nothing wrong, I'm fine."

Nathan watched the ball bounce away and then chuckled as he looked back up at his brother who was glaring at the empty net, "sure, sure. I mean you _look_ fine."

"Well good, because I am," his eyes met Nathan's, "why do you care anyway? I thought we weren't speaking."

Nathan shrugged, "Sawyer seems to think you're alright-"

Lucas' eyes flashed towards him, "she does?" His voice was hopeful.

"Yeah," Nathan raised an eyebrow, "although right now I can't see why- you stink dude."

Lucas glared at him, "right back at you," he growled.

"Whatever man," Nathan picked up his bag, "I gotta go. Keep up the err- _practice_."

He resisted the urge to throw a basketball at Nathan's retreating head and called out, "hey Nate-" his brother turned and nodded, "is uh- is Peyton not very well this week?"

Nathan laughed aloud, "ah uh- yeah you know she said something about evil cheerleaders and never wanting to come into school again..."

Lucas scowled at him, "seriously?"

"No. But she did mention that she thought I was the more attractive Scott brother."

"Nate!"

"Fine fine, she's not feeling great at the moment so I guess she'll be back when she's ready. What?" He smirked, "you missing the sunshine and joy she brings with her everywhere?"

He shrugged, "something like that."

Nathan nodded, "yeah actually me too."

* * *

Peyton pulled her loose blonde curls back from her head and restrained them in her hand as she searched for a hair tie. "Crap crap crap," she muttered, glancing round her untidy room attempting to spy one. Eventually she lifted up a Satchel LP and a bright green elastic band fell out from underneath it. "Perfect, Peyton one, room nil," she continued as she twisted it round her hair. She stood, hands on hips, examining the mess. She knew she ought to tidy before Nathan came over to study but she couldn't even imagine where she'd start. Instead using the tip of her foot she pushed a load of papers under the bed and then grabbed the nearest pile of albums to put them away. As she was sliding Matthew Ryan's Regret Over the Wires back into its rightful place the doorbell rang out. The only reason she heard it was because seconds ago Joni Mitchell's Blue had finished and there was a rare silence in her room.

She grabbed the ice cream tub she'd been slowly working her way through and jogged down the stairs. She knew it would be Nathan and tipped a spoonful of Belgian chocolate ice cream into her mouth just as she swung the door back, "dude you're like twenty minutes-" the word early died on her lips and she wished she didn't have a spoon in her mouth.

Lucas stood on her front porch, a look of complete amusement on his face before his eyes travelled down towards her legs which she suddenly realised were seriously exposed in a ratty pair of shorts she'd been wearing. Slowly he dragged his gaze away from them and smiled at her shyly, "hey you."

She pulled the spoon out of her mouth and smirked, "what are you doing on my porch?"

He glanced at her legs again and then cleared his throat, "ahh uh-" he reached into his bag and pulled out a pile of papers, "Nate said you were erm, not feeling well," he raised an eyebrow in the direction of the ice cream tub she was holding and then continued, "so I brought you my English notes..." He suddenly felt extremely embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck in very Nathan like way.

Peyton felt touched by the gesture, "thanks- I really was ill," she added quickly.

Scoffing he handed over his papers, "you're a bad liar."

She narrowed her eyes at him as she took them, "you have no idea." His handwriting was slanted and tiny and for a second she read it silently, taking in the way he curled his ys and had highlighted the parts he thought would be important for her. She suddenly remembered he was still standing in front of her and looked up at him, "thanks for these Luke."

He shrugged, "it was nothing." They stared at each other for a moment and then he blinked and looked up at her house, "so, you got a nice place here."

"Thanks," she smiled faintly, "I would invite you in but my dad doesn't allow strange men in the house un-chaperoned."

"I wasn't hinting!"

"Sure you weren't, like you don't wanna see my room," she said teasingly.

"I don't need to see your dark and twisty bat cave," he retorted

"I didn't say you needed to, I said you wanted to."

He was about to respond when someone cleared their throat behind them and they both twisted in surprise to see Nathan standing with his arms folded, smirking at them both.

"Nate?" Luke suddenly felt very uncomfortable, "what are you- what are you doing here?"

Nathan held up his English folder, "Peyton and I have a study session," he grinned widely, "what are _you_ doing here Lucas?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes at his brother and then looked back at Peyton, "is Nathan not a strange man too?"

She shrugged, "nope, he and my dad go way back."

"Oh, ok," he attempted to cover his confusion and disappointment and began to back off the steps, "well I-" he hit the post holding up the porch and jumped forward, "uh-oh."

Peyton bit her lip, trying not to laugh and feeling nervous and awkward all at the same time, "yeah- thanks for bringing me your notes."

He stopped, "are you- are you gonna be back in school soon?" His blue eyes searched hers, almost willing her to say yes, say it, say it.

She hesitated, more tension and confrontation was so not what she needed right now, "I-"

"I- we miss you in English," he said softly.

She held his gaze, knowing what he really meant and then looked down at her feet, feeling goose bumps travel down her legs, "and I miss Shakespeare," she said lightly, "maybe soon ok?"

He nodded silently, "well- I guess I'll see you around." He nodded at his brother as Nathan climbed the steps, chuckling to himself as he did so, "see you tomorrow Nate."

He headed out across the lawn and Peyton watched him go reluctantly; she could think of no reason to get him to stay- unless she openly admitted it- but that was _not_ an option. Lucas stopped at the car door and glanced over his shoulder to where she was following Nathan inside, tugging at her tee shirt. She turned to close the door and raised a hand to him as she met his eyes, resting the side of her face against the door frame as she pulled the door shut slowly. Nathan was standing on the stairs, his arms folded, watching her in amusement. "What?" She demanded crossly, placing her hands on her hips defensively.

He smirked and then shrugged, turning to go up the stairs, "you two are so obvious," he called over his shoulder.

* * *

On Friday morning the rain lashed against the window pane and the sky outside was still as dark as it had been before dawn. There was an empty desk at the back of English and it was distracting him terribly. Brooke was still not speaking to him and he had barely noticed. After the fight he'd had with Peyton he'd gone back into the gym and he and Brooke had known without words they were over. He sighed now and shifted in his seat to glance over to where Nathan was sitting staring out the window.

"Nate!"

Nathan started and looked towards him in confusion, "huh?"

"How is-uh- you get a lot of studying done yesterday?"

His brother snorted, "subtle Luke. Look- we studied ok? That's it."

Lucas was about to point out that he was well aware they were only studying when Miss Francis burst in to the room, "good morning boys and girls! And are we all ready to welcome a little Macbeth into our lives on this fine Friday morning?"

There were several unenthusiastic grunts and Lucas sighed inwardly turning back to his desk, just another English lesson where no-one but he and Haley offered an opinion- and normally they shared the same opinion- not particularly challenging.

"Any thoughts?" Miss Francis sang out.

There was a silence and to Lucas' surprise Nathan raised his hand, "I thought the play was pretty good. It was far more interesting to read about Scottish politics than about all that romantic crap from the Taming of the Shrew." They really had been studying, he smiled to himself suddenly feeling marginally better.

"Well- eerr- that's one way of putting it," Miss Francis floundered for a moment and then brightened, "now where does ambition come into Macbeth?"

"I would say that all the characters are driven by their ambitions," Lucas began, "Duncan wanted power, Macduff was driven by his ambition to extract revenge, Macbeth wanted power, Lady Macbeth wanted power _for_ him-"

"How do you know she wasn't using Macbeth to gain power for herself?" He looked up in surprise to see her standing in the doorway. His face lit up, she was back, thank _god_. And she looked damn good in a black denim skirt and a Brand New tour tee shirt. Those legs deserved a medal.

She smiled faintly at him, her eyes dancing with more of a smile as she headed down towards her seat. He twisted to follow her, leaning back on his chair, grinning widely, "if she wanted the power why didn't she just kill Macbeth and have it for herself when he became king?"

Peyton sat down and shrugged nonchalantly, before meeting his eyes trying not to laugh, "we don't know what she had planned because she had a conscience and she wasted herself feeling bad about her behaviour."

He coughed in surprise, "you think she shouldn't have felt bad about driving her husband to commit murder?"

"She shouldn't have suggested it in the first place; she should have encouraged him to be a brilliant warrior or an accountant but she didn't. Once the deed was done she should have stuck by it and kept Macbeth sane, not spent her time feeling guilty about something she couldn't take back." She shrugged again, "what a waste of all that intelligence."

"Maybe she should have been the first wife of a king to work," he suggested teasingly.

"Maybe she should have done," Peyton replied lightly, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she attempted to keep a straight face.

"I'm _so_ glad you decided to join us today Miss Sawyer," Miss Francis suddenly interrupted and they both looked away from one another and back up at their teacher. "Now that we have a full class may I suggest you divide into groups and-"

Peyton didn't hear the rest as she glanced back across the classroom to where Lucas was sitting attempting to listen to Miss Francis. He was twitching his leg nervously, trying to look calm and collected. His eyes darted in her direction and she immediately looked away feeling her face get hot and stared at her book intently. She counted to three and then looked back up, he was still looking in her direction and smiled slowly before turning away and picking up his own book. Peyton took a breath and then looked up as Nathan leant across on his chair to steal her pen, "you missed me offer an opinion," he muttered, "it was my shining moment and you missed it."

She smirked, "I'm sure you'll have more than one this year.... well, almost sure."

He narrowed his blue eyes at her, "nice to have you back Sawyer."

She grinned at him, "you missed me."

"Hmmmf..."

"Hey so are we gonna talk about these kings then?" Bevin was smiling at them both brightly.

"What else would we be doing in English?" Peyton said lightly.

"I could answer that for you," Nathan smirked. Peyton leant across and elbowed him and he laughed, pushing her away.

* * *

At lunch time Peyton dropped her overnight bag on the nearest empty bench and crossed her legs, waiting for Nathan. She examined her nails and attempted to shake off the strange mixed feelings she had. She was glad to be back and have her mind distracted from the names Ellie, Larry and Anna, but at the same time being back in school brought up a whole lot of fresh drama. Every time she thought she was calm Lucas appeared in the corridor and she dropped whatever she was carrying or walked into lockers accidently. He was in her classes teasing her and everywhere she went, somehow he was there, in a blue tee shirt that brought out the blue in his eyes and ignoring what she'd said about them not talking every time he ran into her. She sighed, leaning her head against the back of the bench. Couldn't he just stop being so damn good looking and talkative and become completely unattractive to her? It would make things so much easier.

"You ready to have your mind blown with the amazingness of my basketball this weekend?"

She opened an eye and smiled, "you think you're a decent player then Scott?"

Nathan grinned and sat down beside her, fastening a shoe lace, "I'm more than decent, I'm gonna carry this team this year."

"Wow, how'd you do that? They must be a pretty heavy bunch."

He raised his eyebrows, "oh you're funny."

She sniggered, "yeah I know."

A pair of arms snaked round Nathan's chest, "you gonna be staying in my room this weekend Mr Scott?"

Nathan smirked and loosened Rachel's arms, "the rooms are alphabetically assigned for the players Rach, so unless you married my brother over the summer, I'm thinking he'll be the only one I'm sleeping with this weekend."

She smirked, "well... We'll see."

"Yo Nate!" A player Peyton thought was maybe called Jake but wasn't positive waved him over, "you coming?"

"Sorry to love you and leave you," Nathan said easily, standing and winking at Peyton, "see you on the bus."

She waved a hand in amusement, he loved the attention no matter how much he denied it. Rachel raised an eyebrow as she watched him go, "I swear he gets more and more fun every time he says no."

"You really don't get that he's married do you?"

"He's married sure but he was in love with me first," she said stubbornly.

"You and Nathan," Peyton ventured, "seriously?"

Rachel smirked, "why not? He was captain of the basketball team, I was head cheerleader... We made sense," she trailed off and then shrugged, "we were hot together."

"Too hot?"

"You could say that," she looked away quickly, "he was the only guy that could have come close to breaking my heart," she shrugged, "so I cheated on him."

In a weird way, Peyton totally understood, defence mechanisms working over- time were her specialty. As if reading her thoughts Lucas crossed the quad and glanced over to where she and Rachel were sitting. He smiled faintly, his eyes lighting up and she bit her top lip as she met his gaze and held it. She realised she was holding her breath and then blinked and looked at her hands quickly. Finally Lucas looked away and shrugged his bag higher up his shoulder. She sighed inwardly as she watched him throw his bag on the bus and wished she had a packet of cigarettes to hand. Rachel watched the blonde thoughtfully for a second and then chuckled, "nice choice, obvious, but still, I approve."

Peyton looked up at her startled, "what are you talking about?"

Rachel shrugged, "you and the older Scott brother totally having eye sex," she jumped up off the table and grabbed her bag, "you not sleeping with Nathan suddenly makes sense; you're into his brother. _So_ messed up and weird that you're best friends with Nate and yet you dig Lucas," she rolled her eyes, "you got problems blondie."

"Hey _red_," Peyton said sharply, jumping up to follow her, "I do not _dig_ Lucas as you say, we're- we're just friends."

"Whatever," Rachel said easily, "all those haunted looks he was shooting you definitely screamed 'friend' to me."

Peyton narrowed her eyes, "let's just not talk anymore."

Smirking Rachel picked up her bag, "come on, I need a decent seat on the bus."

"You've decided I'm sitting with you?" Peyton followed her towards the bus where Whitey was waving them all on board. They found seats towards the back, Nathan was already sitting with his headphones in on the back seat, he lifted a hand in hello to Peyton and rolled his eyes as Rachel waved back smirking.

Peyton sat down and shot Rachel a look, "you know you're not gonna get him to fall magically in love with you with all this flirtatious crap right?"

Rachel raised an eyebrow, "please, I don't want him to fall in love with me again. I just want him for... an evening, or two."

"Lord," Peyton sniggered, "you are disgraceful."

"Oh just because you're secretly thinking the exact same thing about the older Scott brother," Peyton elbowed the redhead sharply as Lucas suddenly appeared on the bus and Rachel smirked, "speak of the very pretty devil."

Lucas gestured to the two seats opposite the girls, "hey- uh- anyone sitting here?"

Peyton shook her head mutely and Rachel smiled widely, "nope, go right ahead." She sat down in her seat and glanced out the window, "this is going to be a so much more interesting bus ride than I thought."

Peyton scowled at her, "shut up," she muttered before smiling quickly across at Lucas.

Before he could say hello another person cleared their throats and they all looked up, Haley smiled vaguely at Peyton and then motioned to her best friend to get up, "thanks for saving me a seat dude." Lucas jumped up and let Haley slide past to sit by the window.

Besides Peyton Rachel shifted uncomfortably and Peyton smirked, "yes, _yes_, it is."

Lucas glanced across at her and she immediately stopped smiling, scratching her arm nervously. He proffered a paper bag, "want one?"

She raised an eyebrow, "what's in there?"

He laughed, "liquorice."

"Uh huh no! You like liquorice?!" She shook her head and searched in her bag for her own snack, "we can't be friends anymore."

His eyes traced her face and as she looked back up at him he was silent for a moment, probing her green eyes with his own blue ones, "that's a shame," he said finally, "I kinda liked you."

She was taken by surprise at his answer and was about to say something when Rachel leant forward, "yo blondie you gonna pass the liquorice around?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes at her, "you don't get liquorice Rachel, you trod on my foot earlier and didn't even notice."

"I thought you were helping me to avoid walking in the mud," she said lightly.

He glanced at Peyton who shrugged, "that's fair enough."

"Trust you to side with her," he muttered.

She smirked, "you gonna cry about it for the whole trip?"

He shifted and glowered at her, trying to avoid smiling, "maybe," he fixed his eyes on the seat in front. "I'll let you know."

She reached for her book smiling faintly, "whenever you're ready." He glanced back at her as she began to read and she let her eyes travel over the top of the page to look back at him. He smiled and then Haley muttered something to him and he turned away reluctantly. Peyton sighed contentedly and looked back at her page.

"God you two are so obvious," Rachel breathed. Peyton pinched her leg and she flinched, "ouch!"


	8. Trouble Doll

**A/N: the reviews you guys have sent in have all been so great, thank you! BTW, many happy returns to my dear friend JJ, i'm sorry this chapter is too late to be a birthday present but we've never on time for anything so i hope you don't mind!**

**Disclaimer: Hmm, i laugh, LAUGH, at the plans for S7 so i'm not really so bothered to say i don't own anything today.**

It was past midnight by the time they pulled up outside the hotel. Peyton stirred as the coach slowed to a stop and jerked up suddenly as she realised her hair was all over the place and Lucas was asleep barely a metre away. Running a hand through her hair she shifted and let her hoodie slip down her back. She pulled her head phones out and reluctantly left Slow Runner on pause. She glanced across at Lucas again, he looked so adorable asleep and noticed Haley was awake and reading. She inclined her head, "how's the book?" She whispered.

Haley started in surprise at the sound of a voice and then smiled faintly at her, "pretty good, intense, but I like it."

"What is it?"

"It's called The Red Tent, it's about the daughter Jacob had."

Peyton scrunched up her nose in confusion, "Jacob?"

"Yeah you know Jacob and his twelve sons? Well, he had a daughter too and the book is like a what if on her life," she shrugged, "I can lend it you when I'm done if you want?"

"That'd be great," Peyton smiled at her and was about to say something else when Whitey cleared his throat at the front of the bus.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen!" People grunted down the bus, waking up to his voice and blinking in the lights being switched on as the coach stopped.

Peyton jerked her shoulder and Rachel groaned, "I'm comfortable here!"

"Get off me red," Peyton muttered warningly.

Rachel sat up and glowered at her, "what a pleasant way to say good evening to someone."

Peyton hummed with laughter quietly, "yeah well I'm no good at the niceties." She slid her book back into her bag and then stretched, "is this it?" She asked, peering out the window.

Yawning Rachel nodded, "yeah, it's not as good as the place we'll stay for the Classic but it's not bad. There's a good bar down the street."

"That's all I need to know," Peyton said grinning at her before standing up, pulling at her tee shirt. She glanced across at Lucas who was rubbing his face sleepily. She offered Rachel her hand and helped pull her up before walking down the bus, attempting to keep her eyes open long enough to walk in a straight line. She leant on Nathan's shoulder sleepily as they walked towards the hotel whilst he stared intently at the basketball game he was playing on a game boy console.

"Oi Sawyer who you sharing a room with?" He murmured quietly.

She straightened up and cocked an eyebrow, "why you asking?"

He shrugged, still staring at his game, "just curious," his eyes flicked up to meet hers and he had the slightest smile on his face as he looked back down at the game boy.

"Curious?" She smirked, "curious or wondering if you can use me to get information about your wife slash your mistress?"

"Hey shut up I am not that twisted and I do _not_ have a mistress!"

She was silent for a second, distracted by Lucas walking towards them, she realised she was holding her breath-

"Luke!" He turned and she felt her heart sink as she saw Brooke approaching him. She watched out of the corner of her eye as they moved towards the elevator talking. Brooke nodded and then disappeared into the elevator with Bevin. Lucas stood watching the doors close for a moment and then turned round and met her eyes and she looked away quickly suddenly feeling foolish. She had completely forgotten about Brooke; it had been pretty clear Brooke had chosen to forget about her too and she hadn't given any of it a second thought, until now. Now Lucas was walking towards her and she was standing, vulnerable and obvious and he was taken, he was not _with_ her, what the hell was she thinking?!

"Nate I gotta go," she said suddenly, grabbing her bag up off the floor and waving a hand to Rachel, "yo red you got our key?"

"Uh huh," Rachel beamed, "come up in twenty minutes Nate?"

Nathan chuckled and shook his head, "see you tomorrow ladies."

Lucas saw her moving and sped up, "hey Peyton-"

She attempted to pretend that she hadn't heard him and kept walking towards the elevator, Rachel cast her a sideways glance as they stepped inside, "you realise blondie's running after you right?"

She pressed 'up' urgently, willing the doors to close but he stuck his hand out and stopped them shutting, "hey Peyton?"

"Hey," she said quietly.

He frowned in confusion, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she shrugged awkwardly, "what can I do for you?"

He held out a hoodie she recognised, "you left this on your seat."

"Oh," she stared at it for a second and then slowly reached out to take it from him, carefully avoiding hand contact, "thanks." She stared at the floor and Rachel looked between them both in confusion.

"Peyton-" the doors began to close before he could say anything else and she lifted her eyes just in time to see his completely bewildered and slightly hurt face looking back at her. The doors closed and she sighed and moved backwards to lean against the back wall.

"Ok, what did I miss?" Rachel said incredulously.

Peyton blew her hair out of her face and then stared at her feet, "you missed nothing."

"Lair," Rachel responded lightly.

"It's the truth."

Rachel examined her nails and then stepped out of the elevator on the third floor where it was pandemonium with cheer leaders running around everywhere giggling. She turned to look at the slender figure still leaning against the wall and seemingly unwilling to move and pulled a sympathetic face, "come on Peyton; you won't solve your problems in a dingy elevator."

Peyton gazed at her levelly for a second and then gave her a side smile and took Rachel's outstretched hand, following her into the corridor.

* * *

Breakfast was at seven and a seriously painful experience. Dragging herself out of bed at six when Rachel jumped up to primp and straighten her hair. "Does it really take you an hour to get away?" Peyton moaned into her pillow.

"Nope," Rachel sang out from the bathroom, "normally it takes two but I thought I'd let you sleep in."

"Uhhh I hate you!" She rolled out of bed and pulled on the tee shirt she'd thrown on the floor the night before.

Rachel widened her eyes in horror as she opened the bathroom door and looked at Peyton, "you can't wear that!"

"What are you talking about? Why not?"

She gestured to her own outfit, "cheerleading outfits are not optional this weekend! We're here to cheer."

"And you said that without a drop of irony!" She rolled her eyes, "fine!" Tugging crossly at the very short skirt she trailed after Rachel and into the breakfast room.

Grabbing a plate Peyton loaded it high with croissants and scrambled egg suddenly feeling famished and glared at the three nearest cheerleaders staring at her with distaste, "I don't want to faint at the game; I don't have the practice you guys do at prancing about on an empty stomach."

Bevin appeared beside her and beamed as she reached for a bagel, "I'm starving!" Peyton smiled back at her, she knew she liked this one for a reason.

Rachel was busy flirting with one of the waiters so Peyton made her way to a table at the back of the room; she wasn't in the mood for conversation. She stared out of the window as she made her way through the mountain of food she had taken and found herself thinking about her parents. She wished she could talk to her mom about this, talk to her about anything. There was a constant ache that reminded her she was without her. She knew her dad was trying but after eight years she was unwilling to immediately start telling him the inner most workings of her heart.

"This seat taken?" Speaking of matters of the heart, she felt her own skip a beat as she looked up to where Lucas was standing above her. He was holding a tray with only cornflakes and an apple on it, she inwardly rolled her eyes; of course he ate healthily.

She inclined her head, "free country."

He sighed and sat down, "ok did I get knocked on the head and completely forget a fight you and I had?"

"Nope," she ran her fork across her plate, shaking her legs nervously under the table, "I'm just not feeling very talkative right now."

"Seriously, what the hell happened between the bus and the hotel?!"

"Nothing!" She stood up, man could she not get any peace when she needed to think?! "I just can't deal with the mixed signals right now and you appear to be the king of them Lucas."

"Hey wait a minute," hest tod up and caught her arm in confusion, "mixed signals?! Peyton you're about as difficult to read as an un-translated version of Odysseus!"

Trust him to throw in some fancy book right now. She jerked her arm away and then composed herself, "it's simple Luke; you do your think, and I'll do mine."

Without looking back Peyton carried her tray over to where Nathan was sitting with several of the other players and sat down heavily. Nathan raised his eyebrows, "you ok?"

"Fine," she said shortly.

"Hey I don't think we've met," the guy she thought was called Jake held out his hand, "I'm Jake."

"Yeah," she shook it disinterestedly, "Peyton."

"You're friendly," he said lightly.

"I'm a cheerleader," she retorted.

Nathan patted her leg, "lighten up Sawyer, Jagelski only gets to play occasionally."

She pulled an apologetic face, "sorry."

Jake shrugged, "no worries."

Curiosity got the better of her and she nudged forward, "so how come you don't play all the time?"

"My baby girl kind of takes up a lot of my time so basketball comes second."

"You're a father?" She bit her tongue apologetically, "sorry, that kind of blurted out."

Jake laughed, "no it's fine; everyone else is used to it so I haven't been able to get my pictures out in a while," he pulled his wallet out of his pocket," gives me a good excuse!"

"Aw god she's adorable," Peyton said smiling,

"Thank you."

"What's her name?"

"Jenny."

"She looks _exactly_ like you."

"Not a good thing," Nathan teased. He took one of the pictures from Peyton and smiled faintly, "she's beautiful Jake."

"Look at you going all mushy," Peyton pulled at his cheek, "so _cute_."

"Shut up!"

Lucas watched them laughing and scowled, what the hell? She would talk to Jagelski and Nathan but not him?! He jerked his chair back sharply and stalked out of the restaurant, Peyton watched him guiltily and sighed as she looked back down at the photograph of Jenny. Life was so much simpler when you were a baby. She cleared her throat and smiled quickly as she gave Jake back the pictures. She met Nathan's eye; what?! She asked him sharply with a raised eyebrow. Nothing, he retorted silently, holding up his hands.

"We gotta get to training," he said grabbing a chocolate chip muffin to go, "see you at the game?"

"What else do I have to live for but to watch you guys play basketball?" He chuckled and they high fived.

"See you around Peyton," Jake said smiling at her and she nodded in an attempt to be friendly, he seemed like a nice enough guy.

As the boys left Haley walked in and Peyton was happy to see she and Nathan made eye contact and he even inclined his head in a sort of awkward hello. Haley took a croissant from the buffet and gestured to the chair next to Peyton's, "this free?"

"Sure."

They sat in a comfortable enough silence while Haley ate her croissant and Peyton sipped at her coffee. Finally Haley spoke, "so you excited about your first game?"

"Alive with joy," she said lightly, meeting Haley's brown eyes in amusement.

Haley chuckled, "I can tell." She jumped up momentarily to get a hot chocolate and then sat back down, "so, you reading anything at the moment?"

"Mmm, Alice Through the Looking Glass, you read it?"

"Yeah, when I was about eight!"

"Hey do not mock," Peyton said firmly, "when you read it as a kid you miss out on the real points Carroll makes. It's so much more fun to read now."

Haley nodded, "fair enough. I'll tell you what, I'll trade you when you're done- my Red Tent for your Looking Glass."

Peyton grinned, "deal."

"Alright," Rachel clapped her hands, "let's go girls."

"Duty calls," Haley muttered, standing up and finishing her hot chocolate.

Peyton smirked and then bent to re-tie her shoe lace tightly, taking a deep breath as she did so. Here we go.

* * *

The ball flew past her for the hundredth time and she clapped her hands disinterestedly, "yay Ravens..."

Rachel rolled her eyes and elbowed her hard, "you're embarrassing me Sawyer; give us some high kicks."

Obeying orders Peyton lifted her leg in the air and then turned to smirk at her, "better?"

The half time whistle blew and she dropped her hands quickly; at least they were winning. Across the gym Lucas clutched his chest feeling out of breath suddenly and then straightened quickly as he saw Peyton's eyes travel in his direction. They both stood for a second, her standing awkwardly tugging at her skirt distractedly and him scratching the back of his neck nervously, both of them staring at each other. "Scott! When you're ready to join us I've a few points for the team I'd like to share!" Whitey barked at him and he blinked and looked away.

"Sorry coach."

Peyton looked at her feet and wished she could read his mind.

"Any less enthusiasm and I swear I'll wrap my newly manicured fingernails around your neck Peyton," Rachel warned. "Bevin after the break do try and keep your chants in time with ours, it sounds like you're just shouting out odd words."

"Fine," Peyton pulled an apologetic face, "I'm sorry, my head hasn't been in this."

"Get it in the game ok?"

"Ok, alright, I will!"

"You promise not to spend the second half brooding about weird conversations in elevators with the Scott boy?"

"Promise," she muttered darkly.

The Pontiacs were down by eleven by three quarters of the way through and Peyton was actually enjoying herself. She was caught up in the enthusiasm of the crowd and she felt excited by the prospect of them winning the game. "Let's go Ravens! Come on twenty three! Jump higher!"

Nathan caught her eye at one point and grinned widely, winking at her and she smiled back happily, he was truly in his element here. She noticed his gaze trave between Haley and Rachel and then he jogged away distractedly.

Lucas was feeling less than thrilled by the game thus far. Somehow Jake was everywhere, catching all his potential catches, making all his potential passes and moving in on Peyton. Ok so he hadn't actually had more than one conversation with her but he just didn't like the way he was looking at her. As if to reiterate his own point he scowled as he watched Jake shout something across to Peyton and she laughed and replied with something that made him grin back. When she looked across at Lucas she suddenly became flustered and dropped a pom pom before frowning at him and looking away. He sighed inwardly, somehow he'd lost her before he'd even had a chance to screw up. He cracked his knuckles and then clapped his hands for the ball, "let's go!"

* * *

Peyton examined her face in the mirror and added just a little more eyeliner before deciding she would do, "yo red, you set to go?"

"Who knew the Scott brothers would actually decide to like each other long enough to win a game," Rachel mused, walking into the bathroom as she twisted her hair up into a pony tail.

"Yeah, they've sort of been getting a long recently," Peyton said thoughtfully, "was it really bad last year?"

Rachel frowned, "not exactly bad. I mean they used to hate each other and I mean really hate," she added giving Peyton a significant look in the mirror, "but then it stopped for a while. And then they hated each other again."

"Why?"

"Ha umm, well, I kind of got in the way. You see, Lucas loved me, Nathan loved me- it was all one big-"

Peyton's mouth was wide open and then suddenly she narrowed her eyes, "wait a minute, shut up I know that's not the truth!"

Rachel scowled, "Ok fine. Haley left to go on tour with this fox of a musician Chris Keller and Nathan stayed here, end of story."

"I know that bit!"

"Well what else do you need to know? Lucas was Haley's best friend and Nathan's brother- he tried to be on both their sides and but he couldn't keep both of them happy."

"So he chose Haley?"

"Not exactly, he spent a lot of time with Brooke instead and then he and Nathan just ended up hating each other again."

Peyton was silent feeling a lump in her throat; Lucas and Brooke had a history she just couldn't complete with. She glanced around suddenly, "do we have any alcohol in this joint?"

"We've got a mini bar," Rachel straightened up and beamed, "I'll get the vodka!"

Someone knocked on their door and they both looked up guiltily. Peyton ran to open it slowly and scrunched up her nose in distaste, "what do you want?"

Brooke rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, "look, curfew starts in ten minutes and I need to know the plan for the rest of the girls."

"The plan?"

Rachel moved forward urgently, "Whitey goes to bed at ten, wait fifteen minutes then listen for my signal and we'll head out. Then we'll come back in pairs between midnight and one to avoid being heard." She shrugged, "same as last year," she finished simply.

"Great," Brooke nodded, "see you in twenty." She glanced at Peyton who had been staring at her thinking how unfair it was that Lucas had met her first and narrowed her eyes, "what?"

Peyton blinked quickly, "oh uh- nothing."

Rachel beamed, "great so we'll see you in twenty babe." She closed the door and rolled her eyes at Brooke, "do try and be nice to her this evening please."

"What? I _was_ nice!" Peyton trailed back to collapse on the bed, "i just don't seem why I have to be the one who tries."

"You _are_ the one who stole her boyfriend."

"I did no such thing!"

"Say what you want but we both know the truth there."

Peyton glowered at her, "where's that alcohol?"

* * *

They made it to the bar without a hitch and Rachel opened up a tab, dropping a credit card on the bar counter with ease. Peyton was happy to go along with that and ordered a double vodka and coke. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Lucas and the other players arriving, high on their win and they soon swarmed the bar. Brooke was at her most charming, chatting away to all the guys and she suddenly felt completely incapable of being sociable. She was never very good at the flirting thing, instead she preferred to challenge a guy she was interested in just to see if he could keep up. Brooke was far better at making a man feel right at ease, no wonder he was with her...

The he in question leant an arm either side of her just as she was thinking this and nodded at the bar guy, "can i get a soda please?"

She turned to face him and realised he'd created their own mini world with his arms, shutting out the rest of the bar, "hi," she said faintly.

He tilted his head to one side, "you're speaking to me now?"

"I was never not speaking to you Luke-"

"You were definitely not happy talking to me at breakfast."

"I don't remember that far back," she replied lightly.

"I do."

She was glad of her drink acting as a shield between them because the way he was looking at her right now-

"Peyton!" Rachel appeared beside them, swinging an arm around her neck and breaking Luke's self made barrier, "hey Luke, what did you think of Peyton's performance today?"

"Which one?" Lucas said lightly before picking up his own drink and turning to shoot Peyton a final look before moving to stand next to Haley.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "he's so melodramatic."

"Honey, everyone here is," Rachel said easily, "it's something about Tree Hill and everyone being practically related. Now come on, let's drink the bar dry and then go find some nice hot and available guys."

Available. A word no one in Tree Hill seemed to have an understanding of Peyton thought drily.

An hour later and she had lost Rachel and was struggling to walk straight. Fake ID worked wonders in this place and she vaguely remembered some hot older guys buying her shots at one point... Was that tonight? Had she been here before? No definitely not with music like this playing. Was she rambling? Definitely rambling. She tripped into the nearest bar stool and reached out for the bar, "woops!"

She missed the ledge and felt herself falling ohhhh- "this is getting to be a common occurrence for us," a soft voice in her ear spoke lightly as a pair of hands straightened her up.

She twisted and felt her heart rise and then sink as she remembered, dammit couldn't drinking block out _anything_ anymore?! She cleared her throat and looked up at him dizzily, "thanks," she said briefly.

His eyes searched hers, "you ok?"

She hunched her shoulder and pulled her arm away from him, "fine- I'm fine! How arrre you?"

"Are you drunk?!" His voice was incredulous and she could have sworn she heard judgement. He was judging her?!

"I'm not _sober_- is that the same?!"

"No," he gave her a brief smile, "you do stupid things when you're drunk."

"People do stupid things _all_ the time," she retorted, swaying slightly and clutching his arm for a second to re-gain her balance.

"Peyton- do you want me to take you back to the hotel?"

"No! God, you don't have to always save me!" She let go of his arm like it was hot and began to walk away crossly, "go save your girlfriend or something!"

"My girlfr-" he followed her through the bar, "wait my what?"

"Yeah, your girlfriend, you know petite, brunette, she's a real cheerleader, ringing any bells?!"

"Hey, hold on!" She kept going, avoiding the people she knew and searching for an exit. How the hell did she get out of this place?! "Peyton! Peyton, stop for a second! She's not-" She felt the world blur around her and as he tried to stop her she reached up to snap her elbow away and accidently hit him in the face with it. It was almost like a slow motion action shot from a movie Nathan would later tell her, perfect and hilarious- she hit him sharply when he mentioned it was the latter.

Lucas doubled up in shock and she stared down at him in horror. "Luke?" He held up a hand to silence her and she bit her lip and then leaning down to touch his back, "oh god Luke, are you ok?!"

"Ugh," he straightened up and wiped blood away and looked at her incredulously, "what the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Luke I'm so sorry!" She suddenly felt stone cold sober and it was not a nice feeling, "I didn't mean it-"

"Yeah I know," he growled, "you didn't mean any of it, you didn't mean to come here, you didn't mean to meet me or drive me crazy or get inside my head." There was a silence and he spat out blood angrily, he hated looking weak in front of her. What the hell was her problem?! He thought they'd been making progress! "God dammit," he muttered before turning away from her and disappearing into the crowd.

"Wait Luke-" Peyton watched him helplessly and then someone knocked into her and she mumbled an apology before stumbling towards the bar exit. Once she was safely in her room she grabbed the nearest miniature bottle of alcohol and downed it, much better.

* * *

"You there, broody blonde," Rachel hooked Lucas by the back of his tee shirt and did a double take as she looked at the blood across the front of his tee shirt, "what happened?"

"Your newest cheerleader recruit is insane," he muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shifted up the bar and glanced at her wearily, "what do you want?"

"I want your room key?"

"Excuse me?"

She shrugged, "Nathan is not going to be on the market for much longer so I need to make my move now."

He raised an eyebrow, "you're not getting my key for that; jesus Rachel you are literally the devil you know that right?"

"Whatever, look this works in your favour kid- you've been running around after my so called insane recruit since the day she got here so why don't you save yourself a year of angst and go see if she feels the same way now," she waved her key in front of his face, "i'm betting she might..."

**There will be NO Jeyton in this story, just so we're clear :D chapter 9 will be up soon and i know this one jumped about it but i hope it flowed ok... i'm getting paranoid about my writing so i apologise for rambling on and on.**


	9. Tangled and Dark

**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm a crappy updater! It has been SO hot here that I've just been unable to hold my laptop for longer than ten minutes at a time! Not a good excuse but I am truly sorry, it won't happen again! LP loving ahead...**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. I wish I owned LP though.**

There was a weird taste in her mouth and she could hear a faint ringing in her ear. She jerked awake and realised there was a sweet wrapper stuck to the side of her face. She frowned in the darkness and pulled the wrapper off, screwing it up and tossing it away. She rolled around, trapped in the bed covers and kicked them away impatiently, reaching for the clock by the bed. She realised the strange noise was coming from the phone which was off the hook and dropped it down as she glanced at the time, only half one? She felt like she'd been stuck in the longest day ever. Well, the longest day since last Tuesday. She squinted around the room and noticed that the television was on with no volume and stretched under the covers to feel around; she couldn't focus on Friends re-runs right now. Ohh man she felt awful. That terrible heavy feeling that reminded you a hangover was on the way but you weren't quite sober enough for it to arrive.

The door suddenly opened revealing a slant of light and she collapsed back against the pillow, "great red, if you have company you're gonna have to deal with him outside because I can't handle a threesome right now."

"Oh, well then should I stand outside too?" His voice surprised her and she sat up in horror, grabbing at the sheets and reaching for the light.

"What the hell?!"

She flicked it on and they both blinked in the new light, slowly Lucas lowered his hand from shielding his eyes and smiled at her shyly, "hey."

"What- uh," she pulled the sheets up higher and rubbing under her eyes quickly, hoping to erase any rogue traces of mascara. She narrowed her eyes at him, "what did you do to Rachel?"

He laughed, moving slowly into the room, "you think _I_ did something to her?"

"You're here and she's not," she lifted a slender shoulder and he noticed she was only wearing a thin camisole. "Something must have happened to her."

He glanced at the ceiling briefly, oh brother he was so not able to concentrate when she looked like that. He cleared his throat, still avoiding looking at her properly, "yeah but I'm nice, I would never do anything to her," he shrugged. "I'm nice."

"You're nice?" She dropped back against the pillow crossly, "I must have missed the part where you proved that."

"Excuse me?!" He took a step forward, "say that again?"

She sat up glaring at him and ignored her spinning head, "I said I must have missed you being nice!"

"Oh my god Peyton, I have been nothing but nice to you from the minute we met," he strode towards the bed and stood over her crossly, "if anyone has been less than nice here it is _you_. Dammit, you hit me in the face!"

She stood suddenly, trampling on the bed with her legs tangled up in the covers, she kicked at them crossly, "I did that by accident! And," she pointed at him, "I apologised!"

"You slurred a drunken apology!"

"Well at least I said sorry! You haven't apologised to me for everything you've done!"

"What, what have I done?"

She crossed her arms, "things!" She paused briefly, her mind searching desperately for _something_, "you and Nathan laughed at me!"

He couldn't help but smile at how ridiculous she looked. He looked at her from under his eyelashes and smiled warmly, "Peyton-"

"No! Don't even use the I'm so charming Lucas Scott voice on me! _Or_ the face! You have been messing with my head and confusing me and dating cheerleaders when you're flirting with me when you shouldn't be flirting with me and then looking at me all pained when I remind you that you're dating cheerleaders-"

"Peyton!" He caught her waist suddenly and she was taken by surprise and stopped speaking. She was barely taller than him standing on the bed, and his eyes met hers intently, "I'm _not_ dating any cheerleaders."

She felt her arms go limp and she stared at him in confusion, "you're not?"

He realised he was still holding onto her and let go quickly, stepping away from the bed and leaning against the window, "no," he smiled to himself, she was so cute when she was indignant, "no I'm not."

Peyton sat down heavily on the bed suddenly feeling very hot and foolish, pulling her knees up tightly to her chest, "oh." She scratched at her feet absentmindedly and then chanced a glance up at him, he was watching her with amusement in his eyes and she scowled back at him, trying not to smile.

He moved across the room and pulled an armchair close to the bed before sitting down in it, "yeah."

She messed with the sheet nervously, "Oh." Her mind was racing, "uh, why?"

"Why what?" Her eyes met his and he tilted his head to one side, he was going to make her ask out right. As if she'd be doing that, there was no way she'd be showing blatant interest.

She raised an eyebrow, "why... are you here?" She finished finally.

He narrowed his eyes at her for a second and then smiled faintly, "Rachel made me trade keys with her."

"She _made_ you?"

"Yeah, you know she threatened my life, told me she wanted to spend some quality time with my brother, although why she wants that is beyond me-"

"What?!" Her green eyes widened at him, "Lucas Scott you gave an inebriated horny red head a key to your _married_ brother's room!?"

"No," he laughed, "well, not exactly. Nathan never sleeps after a big game like that; he went to check out the gym again with some of the other guys. He won't even be there."

"He went to the gym at one in the morning?"

"Yeah, I saw him go."

"So what happens when he gets back to his room and finds Rachel in his bed?" Lucas hesitated and Peyton rolled her eyes before crawling across the bed to reach for the phone. Lucas tried not to follow her figure but found his eyes tracing her legs. Peyton grabbed the phone and collapsed back against the bed head, "I'm up here," she said in amusement.

His eyes snapped up to meet hers, "huh oh- uh what?"

She smirked and began dialling, "nothing." There was a silence as she listened to the dial tone and glanced nervously over at him. He was flicking through an old copy of the National Geographic that he'd found on the table, reading intently. Peyton took a breath and looked back down at the phone, he was so distracting looking all tired and golden and she narrowed her eyes, concentrate Peyton. She felt more drunk now than she had been an hour ago and she could have sworn he was making her dizzy on purpose. She took a breath and put the phone down after letting it ring out for a mere five seconds, "no-one's answering," she said quickly.

"Oh..." Lucas lifted his eyebrows, "who'd have thought."

She frowned at him, "you think this is funny?"

"Well..." He smiled widely at her, "Peyton come on, if Nathan doesn't want to sleep with her, I'm sure he'll be able to say no."

Peyton scoffed, "she's pretty hard to say no to."

"Yeah." He looked back down at the magazine suddenly, "I know."

She kinked an eyebrow, "speaking from experience?" His blue eyes avoided hers for a second and she nodded slowly, feeling her elation over his appearance disappear, oh man Rachel and Lucas? "Oh... Oh... Wow," she exhaled, "I can't really picture that." Really, really don't want to, she added silently.

"It wasn't like that," he said quickly, "we were like... fifteen?"

"So she was uh-" she stopped, god she really didn't need to know the details.

Amusement flickered across his face, "we were at a party after a game, we hooked up for about twenty minutes... That was it."

"Wow twenty minutes, who'd have thought you could last that long," she said teasingly, suddenly feeling better.

He shot her a look, "you'd be surprised." His eyes challenged hers and she looked quickly back down at her hands, biting her lip, blushing.

There was a silence between them as she resisted finding out _exactly_ what he meant by that comment and shifted on the bed, pulling her sheets up over her legs to try and hold herself down.

Lucas watched her for a moment and then realised he was staring again and cleared his throat, "so uh- you and Rachel are sharing a room- how's that going?"

Peyton grinned, "yeah, although now I know she succumbed to Lucas Scott's charms I might have to mock her for a really long time."

"Oh I'm pretty sure she could come up with some retaliations of her own," he said smirking.

She looked at him startled and then stared up in surprise at him as he stood suddenly. She watched him as he moved forward and sat down beside her on the bed. He turned to face her and she blinked at him, holding her breath, he leant forward and for a second she felt dizzy with anticipation and then he reached for the remote lying beside her and held it up, "you mind if I check the scores?"

For a second she stared at him incredulously and then she narrowed her eyes, _game on_. "Sure," she clambered out of bed slowly and stretched in front of him, feeling her vest rise up revealing her flat stomach, "I'm just gonna use the bathroom."

He tore his eyes away from staring at her as she glanced over her shoulder at him and he coughed awkwardly, "yeah sure ok."

She smirked as she closed the door, so easy. She stared at herself in the mirror trying to steady her nerves and blew her fringe away from her eyes, oh man, she was sober now. She couldn't quite wrap her head around the fact that Lucas Scott was in her hotel room, was this some kind of weird dream?

She opened the door and flicked off the light, swinging one of her legs in front of the other, now what?

Lucas kept his eyes straight ahead and chanted Shakespeare in his head to distract himself from staring at her too obviously.

Peyton slowly made her way back over to the bed, pulling a pillow across her chest as a sort of shield before sliding back under the covers.

He wasn't sure he'd be able to stay sitting next to her like this for much longer without exploding. He didn't want to take advantage if she was still drunk and he sure as hell didn't want to push her before she was ready. "I should go," he said finally, standing up reluctantly.

"Really?" Her face was a picture of disappointment and then she rearranged it, "where are you gonna sleep?"

He shrugged, "I dunno... the hallway? I might try and get back into my room."

"Oh Luke, don't be stupid, it's late, you can sleep here." Did she just say that? Did those words leave her mouth?! Damn the part of her brain that wasn't filtering her thoughts before she spoke! And now he was going to say no...

He hesitated, "you're sure?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "besides you don't wanna walk in on some gross explicit scene between Nathan and red or even Haley."

He pulled a face, "ahh man don't say that! That's my best friend you're talking about there!"

"Sorry." They stared at each other for a second and then she smiled shyly, "but all the more reason it should make sense for you to stay." What the hell?! Again?!

He could feel himself being swayed, "ok- but I can sleep on the floor."

She rolled her eyes, "oh come on. I'm sure you've shared a bed with a girl before." She patted the pillow beside her and raised an eyebrow, "you think you can handle it?"

"I don't know," he teased, "I might need to build a wall of pillows between us or something just in case."

She lifted up one of the cushions she'd cast away earlier, "already on it."

"I was kidding!" He stood awkwardly at the foot of the bed for a second, wondering what the right etiquette was for sleeping next to the girl you were completely crazy about but weren't with and had not actually given you any indication that she felt the same way actually was.

Peyton raised her eyebrows at him, "you gonna sleep in your hoodie?"

"Oh uh yeah-" he pulled it over his head and dropped it to the floor, "I guess not." He sat down on the edge of the mattress and then leant down beside her, almost instinctively she moved ever so slightly closer to him, one hand supporting her head and the other resting between them. He propped his head up with his arm and then reached for the light, "you want the light on?"

She shrugged, biting her thumb, "it's all the same in the dark right?"

He felt his mouth twitch and he flicked it off before rolling back towards her, "you've got a witty remark for everything don't you Peyton Sawyer?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. There was a silence and she listened to his breathing, wondering if he could hear her heart beating through the sheets. "It's Peyton Elizabeth," she said suddenly.

"What?"

She twisted her body towards him and smiled, "it's Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, not just Peyton Sawyer."

He shifted back over to her and smiled, "it's really pretty."

"Thanks. You got a middle name?"

"Yeah," he laughed, "but I'm not telling you."

"Oh come on!" She pushed his shoulder, "I told you!"

"You told me willingly Peyton Elizabeth," he caught her hand and stopped her from hitting him, "mine is not a name I would ever tell anyone I want to respect me."

She lifted an eyebrow, "would it help if I told you I don't respect you?"

"God you are so mean to me!" He realised she hadn't let go of his hand and pressed his fingertips against hers, stretching their fingers out together before lacing their hands together. It felt like there was electric flying up and down his arm.

"Oh you love it," she said teasingly.

He scoffed, "ha, I don't think so."

"Liar."

He shifted closer to her, "I've never lied to you," he said suddenly. She was silent for a moment and then without warning she let go of his hand. He sighed inwardly, one step forward...

They lay looking at each in the darkness before Peyton finally spoke, "so why did Rachel send you up here?"

"I thought I told you that earlier."

"No, you avoided answering the question."

"You make a very pretty pot," he retorted.

"Excuse me?"

"Pot, kettle, black," he said firmly.

"Shut up! Come on, what did Rachel say?" She narrowed her eyes, "she didn't send you up here to take pictures of me drunk did she?"

He chuckled, "no. She uh... She saw us fighting earlier and she thought I ought to come up here and clear the air."

"Plus she wanted a chance to seduce Nathan- and I still can't believe you let her."

"Hey I already told you- I didn't tell her to go up there and strip; that would be up to Rachel."

"Pfft, she probably had half her clothes off at the door," Peyton giggled.

There was a silence as they both lay staring at each other alternatively before Peyton felt her eyes getting heavy. She didn't want to fall asleep, she wanted to stay in this moment forever. God curse the drinking for making her sleepy!

Lucas shifted and turned to look at her in the dark. Even without the light on he could see the lines of her face perfectly, she looked so beautiful, so peaceful. He suddenly wanted to talk to her, to tell her things, to hold her forever. One step at a time he reminded himself.

"Peyton," he whispered, "you awake?"

She didn't move for a second and then rolled sideways, an arm fell across his chest; her nose was inches from his and he felt slightly caught off guard, she was suddenly _very_ close.

"Mmmm."

He prodded the arm, "hey Peyton-" his whisper was louder, "Peyton!"

"Whaaat?" Her voice was croaky, she pulled away her arm, her fingers leaving a tingling sensation across his skin.

"It's Eugene."

She scratched her nose and then scrunched ever so slightly closer to him, her eyes still closed, "what is?"

"My middle name."

Her eyes snapped open, "what?!"

"Don't laugh, I'm telling you in the deepest confidence right now."

"Your- your middle name is Eugene? You're Lucas Eugene Scott?" Her voice trembled and he could tell she was resisting the urge to laugh.

He sighed and rolled over to face the wall, "I knew I shouldn't have told you!" He crossed his arms and scowled in annoyance.

She tugged on his shoulder, "Luke come on, I'm sorry! I was just taken by surprise that's all. It's really not that bad!"

"You are laughing! I can hear you laughing!"

She couldn't hold it in any longer and suddenly had to roll over giggling loudly, covering her face with her pillow, "I'm sorry, just give me a minute!"

"I hate you," he muttered.

"Ah ha," she attempted to compose herself, "it could be worse- I mean it could be Leslie."

He twisted back to face her, "it's a family name! God, first you give me a black eye and now you're mocking my name?"

She scrunched up her nose, "ahh you've made me feel bad now. I didn't mean to hit you," she reached out and touched the side of his face with the back of her hand, "I _am_ sorry."

He was holding his breath as she touched the bruise, and he struggled to sound cool, "I look good with a black eye right?"

"It's dark," she deadpanned, "I can't tell."

"You know what I look like normally, now just imagine a bruise around my eye."

"Actually it feels more like a really big and puffy thing- is it swollen?" She suddenly realised they were very close and sat up quickly, "you want me to get you some ice?"

He caught her hand, "no stay. I mean I'm fine, thanks."

She looked at him wordlessly for a minute, her heart racing in the dark, "ok," she lay back down next to him and exhaled slowly, "you wanna sleep?"

He shook his head, "nah, I feel wired."

"Mmm," she looked up at the ceiling. "Me too."

He rested his hand on her arm, she had goosebumps, "you cold?"

"No," she said softly, "you want some of the sheets?"

"No i'm fine," he said quickly, there was no way he could get under the covers with her right now.

"Ok." She was quiet again, wondering if she could manage to accidently fall asleep nestled in his arms, or whether it might look just a little bit too obvious.

"So what did you think of our first away game?"

"Umm... It was eventful," she said finally.

"That's _so_ not really what you thought!"

"Ok ok! I was bored out of my brain but I was proud of you and Nate working well together."

"My aim in life is to make you proud," he teased lightly.

"You said it first."

"Hey stop twisting my words!"

"I'm not! Well ok, it's just- well you make it so easy and I-" before she could finish her sentence he suddenly leant across the pillows and cut her off by kissing her. She was taken by surprise for a second but couldn't resist kissing him back, touching his face with her hand as one of his own arms pulled her closer. She pulled her other arm out from under the sheets, sliding it up around his neck as he ran a hand across her back. She could feel the kiss intensifying and before he could pull her on top of him she suddenly pulled away.

He blinked, breathless and confused, "what's wrong?"

"I-" she shifted back on the pillow and then whispered, "I don't wanna be a rebound Luke."

"What?"

"You only just broke up with Brooke and you and me- we- we're friends and-"

"Peyton, you are not a rebound," he said firmly.

"But-"

"Would you let me finish a sentence for once please?" She scowled at him, but stayed silent and he smiled, "thank you. Look, Peyton, from the moment you fell on me in that corridor-"

"I didn't fall-" she began to interrupt him and he reached out a hand and put it across her mouth warningly.

"Shush!"

"Can't we just, stay like this tonight Luke?"

He sighed, "you don't wanna hear my speech?"

"I- can I hear it tomorrow?"

"You won't have rolled out of bed at five am and run away to Kansas?" She punched his arm and he laughed, "i'm kidding!" He pulled her closer suddenly and wrapped his arms around her waist under the sheets, "ok Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer, you win. I have a feeling you might always win."

"Ah you already know everything you need to know to make me happy," she teased.

He smiled and pushed back her hair back, "I knew from the moment I caught you in that corridor," he said firmly.

She rolled her eyes, "you're so full of yourself Lucas Eugene."

"Don't use that!"

She rested her head sleepily against his chest, smiling to herself, "you so shouldn't have told me."

He grinned, "yeah I get that now."

"I promise I won't use it in public."

"You can't use it ever!"

"We'll see," he voice was faint as though she was drifting to sleep.

He nudged the arm that was casually draped across his shoulder, "Peyton, hey Peyton!" She was silent and he glanced down at the mass of blonde hair splayed across her face. He shifted carefully onto his back and she moved with him, her head resting on his chest. He closed his eyes, a hand playing with her hair as he drifted to sleep, he seriously owed Rachel a favour.

**So i wrote and re-wrote this ending because i kept making it too cheesy and i was worrying about it being too fast but i decided to stick with the first kiss but it felt like the right time. i hope it was!**


	10. Be Be Your Love

**A/N: I never imagined I'd get this many reviews for my baby; I am loving writing this so I'm really glad you guys are enjoying it! Do keep the love coming! I will UD really soon!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything this week! **

Slowly Peyton opened one eye and sneaked a peek at the sleeping figure beside her. His arms were loosely wrapped round her waist and his face was scrunched up and leaning into her shoulder. She smiled faintly and then felt him stir and shut her eyes quickly. Lucas shifted and glanced down at her; her eyes were squeezed shut and there was an inkling of a smile on her face, she was _so_ not asleep.

Before he could speak the room door burst open and both of them jumped away from each other in complete surprise, "what the hell?!"

"Kind of what I was going to say," Rachel said smirking as she stood over them, her hands on her hips. "Did I miss the ceremony or did you guys decide to be more this century and actually do the dirty before the marriage?"

Peyton sat up and threw a pillow at her, "go away!"

"Can't," Rachel said firmly, moving through to the bathroom, "I need to shower."

Lucas scowled and sat up, "couldn't you shower somewhere else?"

Rachel reappeared at the door, "no," she narrowed her eyes at him, "you see _someone_ left me high and dry last night so that I had to make friends with the not so cute bar guy quickly." She shrugged, "I was hardly going to shower at his place. Now come on blondie, get dressed and get out so that I can talk to P Sawyer about you." She shut the door and they heard the shower go on.

Peyton turned to raise an eyebrow at Lucas, "what does she mean by being left high and dry? Wait a second, Rachel!" She struggled up and clambered over him, ignoring him raising his eyebrows at her and banged on the door, "Rachel what bar guy?!"

"The one from the bar down the road," Rachel shouted back over the rushing water.

Lucas stood up and pulled on Peyton's arm, "do we have to acknowledge she's here?"

"Oh," she lifted an eyebrow at him as he snaked an arm round her waist, "well what did you have in mind instead?"

"Something that needs to be done," he inclined his head, "over there."

"Ah ha, nice try. I think actually," she gestured to the hotel door, "that's the way you should be going."

"Oh come on, I can stay until the devil gets out the shower... That is if she hasn't evaporated all the water."

She laughed and began pushing him towards the door, "come on, I really do need to talk about you with Rachel."

"Tell her I was good," he said sneakily.

"Get out of here!"

"Hey," he stopped her from closing the door, "does this mean we're dating?"

Peyton paused for a second and then shrugged, "it's to be decided."

He smiled widely, "ah that's not fair Peyton Elizabeth."

"Ahh, life isn't honey." She closed the door gently and leant against it for a minute smiling. On the other side Lucas chuckled and then turned away shaking his head.

"So," Rachel sauntered out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel and smirking, "what have _you_ been up to?"

* * *

An hour later they were herded into the breakfast room by a cranky Whitey and helped themselves to croissants and bagels. Peyton sat down eyeing her blueberry muffin excitedly and scrunched her nose at Rachel who was muttering about carbs and calories.

"I'm hungry," she muttered, "I don't care if it makes me fat."

"You would, trust me," Rachel replied darkly.

"Hey," Haley sat down on Peyton's left and dropped the book she'd been reading on the table, "if you still want it; I'm done with the book."

"Yeah that'd be great- thanks Haley," she picked it up and flipped it over to read the blurb on the back. "You sure?"

Haley shrugged and bit into a banana, "it's so good it would be a crime for me not to pass it on."

"Thanks then!" She opened it and began to read the first page.

"You're welcome girly," Haley winked at her and Peyton beamed.

"You're not going to offer _me_ the book?" Rachel leant her elbow on the table to look at Haley.

"What, you can read?"

Rachel smirked and then leant back, crossing her long legs, "I can do a _whole_ lot more than read."

Rolling her eyes Peyton shook her head and picked up the book again. As she did so she peeked over the top to look across at the table where some of the team were eating. Lucas was laughing at something Nyon was saying and as he sat up he glanced over at her. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her and she felt her heart start to race as she held his gaze, smiling faintly back. He tilted his head to the side, wordlessly teasing her and she kinked an eyebrow in retribution. He sat forward widening his eyes and she bit her lip-

"Peyton!"

She was jerked back to her own table as Rachel elbowed her, "huh- what?"

"I said if Nathan wasn't thinking about me before, he definitely is after last night."

Beside her Haley was bristling angrily, "what are you talking about?"

"Let's just say I gave Nathan a visual or two he won't forget in a long time."

"_Rachel_," Peyton hissed, "stop it!"

"No it's ok," Haley said calmly, "I'm used to it." She stood up, "I'm gonna go finish packing." As she walked past she flicked the back of Rachel's head.

Rachel smirked, "that was fun."

"Stop being a bitch," Peyton warned, "it's no fun when you've got no friends."

"Who says I need friends?"

"Ok fine, be stubborn. But you have to stop pushing the line with Haley red. You broke up with Nathan and now she's married to him; that's not her fault."

"I don't see how anyone else is to blame."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "Rachel-"

"Ok fine! From now on, no more jokes about seducing Nathan... in front of Haley."

"Well that's a start," Peyton stood up, careful to let her eyes drift over to where Lucas was sitting and smiled casually. "I gotta go brush and floss, see you upstairs?"

"Yep," Rachel was watching her in amusement, "you know if you mouth the words come and get me, he might get the message a bit quicker. Luke's a little slow on the uptake."

"Bite me," Peyton scowled.

"Actually you should be asking him to do that-" Rachel leant back in her chair to call after her.

* * *

Peyton tossed her bag into the bottom of the bus and dusted her hands off. "You see the muscle there?"

Nathan snorted, "yeah Sawyer you're the next Clark Kent with those arms."

She punched his arm, "shut up."

He raised an eyebrow, "was that supposed to hurt me?"

"Maybe." She lifted her fist again, "maybe if I try here-"

He caught her hand before she could reach his chin, "thanks, but I like looking this pretty."

"You do?" She tilted her head to one side, "why?"

He scowled at her, "just get on the bus Sawyer."

"Nathan, can we talk?" A voice stopped them from walking. Haley was standing looking at them with her arms folded looking seriously pissed off.

"Haley, what's wrong?"

Peyton pulled a face, "you know what? I'm just gonna go-" she ducked round the couple and dived for the safety of the bus door.

Haley was staring at Nathan angrily, "did you sleep with Rachel last night?!"

"What?!" He almost laughed incredulously, "Rachel?! Why would you think that?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, maybe because she's been talking about seducing you all weekend and if it wouldn't get me expelled I swear I would have kicked her fake ass by now." She placed her hands on her hips, "so?"

"Haley," he began softly.

"No," she held up a hand, "actually Nathan I don't want to know. It's not like I have a right to know- I'm only your wife!"

"Haley!" He touched her arm, "you're the only person I would have let into my hotel room last night."

"Oh," she was silent for a second, "well alright then."

He nodded, trying not to smile, "so you wanna sit next to me on the bus?"

"I don't know," she narrowed her eyes at him, "do you have any Crackerjacks with you?"

"Of course!"

Peyton smiled as she watched the two of them look at each other shyly and then turned and started in surprise as she realised Lucas was right behind her. "What, are you stalking me now?"

He grinned and shrugged, "just checking out your legs."

"Oh yeah? And?"

"They're a little chickeny..."

She raised an eyebrow, "like you can talk rake boy, you're practically invisible sideways."

"Pretty good pair then," he countered.

She felt her cheeks heat up and then remembered something, "hey- what was with Rachel saying you left her high and dry last night?"

"Oh," he shrugged, a side smile on his face, "I didn't give her my key."

"You didn't? Then-"

He leant towards her, "I told her Nathan was already in bed, crashed out and that she'd have to share with Bevin or Brooke."

Peyton stared at him in confusion, "then you-"

He shrugged and smiled at her, lifting his bag up, "I just wanted to check you got back to your room safely."

Her eyes flashed in amusement, "and then?"

He kicked at the ground awkwardly, "and then it was late and- and you said I should stay."

"So I did," she smiled faintly, "then I guess it must have all been my idea." She climbed onto the bus and he grinned following her.

"So does this mean-"

She glanced over her shoulder to shoot him a look, "don't push your luck Lucas... Eugene," she mouthed.

"What did I say," he growled, "no mentioning of the middle name, especially if we're not dating!"

"We're not dating _yet_," she corrected him.

"What, do I have to wait a year?"

"Maybe two," she sang out as she sat down next to Rachel, smirking up at him as he went past.

"Better be worth it," he muttered.

She leant over the back of her seat to continue talking to him as he moved into the seats behind her, "I heard that."

His eyes danced as he pulled out his book and looked up at her, "you were meant to."

She smirked and sat back down, opening the book Haley had leant her, "don't get bitter with me Mr Scott, it doesn't suit you as well as it suits me."

"Really? So what _does_ suit me?"

"Jesus," Rachel muttered, "do you two have to verbally copulate every time you're together or is it just in front of me?"

Lucas coughed loudly and Peyton went bright red before hiding her face in her book, "I hate you," she murmured to Rachel.

Rachel raised an eyebrow, "only because I'm right."

* * *

It was dark by the time they pulled back in to Tree Hill High car park and Peyton stretched as she stood up. As much fun as the weekend had been, she was ready for her own bed. Lucas jumped up to follow her off the bus, "you need a ride?"

"No, thanks," she gestured to her car, "do you?"

Reluctantly he nodded over to his own car, "no. Come on, I'll get your bag for you."

"Thanks," she smiled faintly, she wasn't used to the whole romantic gentleman thing and it was a little discomforting for her; normally she did everything for herself.

He jogged back over waving her bag proudly, "here you go."

"Thanks." She threw her bag in the trunk and smiled up at him, "see you tomorrow?"

He rested an arm either side of her as she leant against the car door, "yeah." His eyes met hers and she could feel him leaning in. Behind his head Brooke and Haley were standing talking and Peyton suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. She lowered her head and Lucas frowned in confusion, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing," she crossed her arms, "I'm just not great at the PDA."

"Peyton-" he began.

She ducked underneath his arm and opened the door, catching his ribs with the corner of it as she did so. He winced and pulled away, "oh crap Luke I'm sorry!"

He held up a hand wordlessly and she raised her eyes to the sky, seriously?! Why do you hate me up there?!

She tried again, gingerly reaching out to touch his arm, "Lucas?"

He straightened up slowly and grimaced at her, "I'm fine, "he said hoarsely, "I'll see you tomorrow." He began to walk away and she bit her lip as she watched his back hunch up as soon as he was ten feet away. Crap, now she was beating him up on a regular basis?!

Lucas opened his own car door, unable to stop smiling. Sure he now had a black eye and a bruise across his ribs but he had had the best weekend. When he had kissed her... it felt like something had fallen into place, like all this time she'd been out there and he'd been waiting for her without even realising it. Now he couldn't imagine ever living without her.

"Hey Luke."

He looked up and inclined his head at his brother, "what's up Nate?"

Nathan held up his phone, "haven't you heard?"

"No- what? Is your mom ok? Is mine?"

Nathan shook his head, "none of us are gonna be ok Luke- Dan's running for mayor."

Lucas laughed, "oh come on!" Nathan's face didn't change and his own face fell, "you're serious?"

"My mom rang while I was on the bus. It's official. He's announcing it at our game on Wednesday."

"You're really not joking," Lucas rested his arms on top of his car, "that's all we need."

Nathan shrugged, "he can't get any worse than he already is right?"

Their eyes met and they both knew the answer, hell yes he could.

* * *

Peyton stood outside school the next day, feeling almost excited about going inside. An arm looped through hers, "you actually look happy blondie. I hope this won't affect your cheering abilities."

She rolled her eyes, "fear not red, I'll be as brilliant as ever at practice."

"Good to hear," Rachel said lightly. They moved through the locker room and stopped at Peyton's locker, "so are you and Scott senior official yet?"

Peyton opened her locker and shot her a look, "no. Are you finally gonna see sense and realise that Scott junior is married?"

Rachel scowled, "no." Peyton raised her eyebrows silently and finally Rachel rolled her eyes, "ok! Maybe it's not as fun now I have miss so moral Sawyer reminding me he's married every ten seconds."

"Hello bitter," Peyton pulled out her English notes along with Romeo and Juliet, "meet my friend ness."

Rachel conceded and sighed, "I don't know what all the fuss is about, if he wanted to be with her, wouldn't he just be with her by now?"

Peyton hid behind her locker door as Lucas and Jake walked past and then shrugged, "it's more complicated than that. It always is."

"It's not," Rachel said firmly, "if you want to be with someone, you'll be with them."

"Says you who broke up with the only guy you ever wanted to really be with," Peyton retorted.

"Too mean," the red head pouted as she followed Peyton into the classroom, "even for you."

Peyton chuckled, "you'll get used to it." She sat down at the back next to Nathan who immediately leant across to take the pen she put down.

"Thanks, I forgot mine."

She rolled her eyes and pulled out a second one, "good job I always bring a spare."

Lucas twisted back in his chair and winked at her, "you got any more beatings in mind for me today?"

"I'm sorry!" She pulled an apologetic face and then smirked, "you were just prettier than me and I didn't like that."

"Ha ha," he muttered dryly.

She smiled widely, "I am sorry though."

"Mmm, you better make it up to me!"

Before she could respond Miss Francis came jovially through the door, "good morning fellow Shakespeareans!"

"Hey," Nathan whispered across to her.

She glanced at him, "what?"

"Are you and my brother dating?"

"What?!"

"Don't act all innocent to play for time- are you and Lucas, you know, gonna start walking round holding hands and being all annoying and cheesy?"

She scoffed, "we will not be walking round being cheesy."

"Please, no doubt my brother will start writing you poetry and singing outside your window."

"Shut up!"

"I'm just warning you." Nathan shifted, grinning to himself, "I bet he's got one planned right now. Look at him over there, writing intently." He leant back on his chair, "oh Peyton... Your hair is really yellow... your eyes are green..." She tipped his chair so that he had to jerk forward to regain his balance, "so not funny!"

"Stop saying dumbass things like that then Scott!"

"What if I'd fallen and broken my back?"

"You'd have gotten what you'd deserved," she said firmly.

"Smart ass," he muttered.

"Today we will be doing something slightly different," Miss Francis sang out, "we will be acting out some of the key scenes to gain a fuller appreciation of just what Shakespeare was trying to portray."

There was a collective, if muted, (most of the class liked Miss Francis) sigh and Peyton was with them. There was no way she was waving her arms around crying like a loon pretending to be convinced she was in love at fourteen years old. If you asked her, Juliet was the dumbest heroine ever written. She couldn't have waited four years and then got married? Instead she had to kill herself just because she didn't get exactly what she wanted? Romeo and Juliet was her least favourite play by Shakespeare.

"Any takers for Romeo," Miss Francis looked around, "Nathan?"

"Oh Nathan would love to do it," Peyton gushed. Nathan shot her a horrified look, "that's for reciting poetry to me," she mouthed at him.

He narrowed his eyes at her furiously and then smiled up at Miss Francis, "you know I think Peyton would love to act out Juliet."

"Really Miss Sawyer?"

"Oh yeah," Nathan continued, "she's a budding actress, didn't you know?"

"I would never have guessed," Miss Francis exclaimed, "wonderful!"

"Miss Sawyer if you'd like to stand up-"

"Actually can I get a bathroom pass, I suddenly feel really nauseous."

At the front of the classroom Lucas stuffed his hand in his mouth trying not to laugh.

Miss Francis blinked in surprise, "oh don't be shy Miss Sawyer, from the beginning of Act II, Scene II please!"

Both Peyton and Nathan shifted uncomfortably and the whole class turned to look at them in anticipation. Lucas was grinning from ear to ear, wishing he could take a picture of the two of them staring at the floor awkwardly.

Nathan coughed and sat forward, messing with his copy of the play, "any time you want to start Mr Scott."

"Uh ah huh, he uh he jests that never felt a wound."

There was a long silence as he read ahead, dear sweet lord he could not read this.

"But, soft! What light through yonder window breaks?" Everyone looked across at Lucas in shock as he began to read. "It is the east, and Juliet is the sun, arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief, that thou her maid art far more fair than she:" he shifted and glanced nervously at Peyton. She realised suddenly she was holding her breath and exhaled quickly and looked down at the page. "Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is sick and green and none but fools do wear it; cast it off. It is my lady, ahem, it is my love! O, that she knew she were! She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that? Her eye discourses; I will answer it. I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks: Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven, having some business, do entreat her eyes to twinkle in their spheres till they return. What if her eyes were there, they in her head? The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars, as daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven would through the airy region stream so bright that birds would sing and think it were not night. See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!" He could feel his face getting hot, why did he decide to do this?! "O, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!"

Peyton didn't think she would be able to find her voice. She sat forward, "uh-"

"Told you he was going to read you poetry," Nathan muttered.

She glared at him, "will you shut up?!"

"I don't think that's the line," he said innocently.

"Ay me," she said finally.

"Atta girl."

"She speaks, o speak again, bright angel!" Lucas shot her a look as he spoke and shook his head smiling.

Peyton caught Rachel's eye as Lucas continued the speech and was torn between her desire to crawl under the desk in mortification and to sit and listen to Luke's voice float around the classroom. She leant on her hand for a minute, ignoring everyone else, and watched Lucas as he stared intently at the page he was reading from. So what if this entire relationship was about to get complicated and terrifying and possibly make her more vulnerable than she had ever been before; right now she was happy to let him read her Shakespeare and think about the fact he could break her heart later.

**So I know, I know I made it kind of cheesy but the next chapter will be a whole lot more angst ridden- you now I can't leave my angst behind! Hope you guys enjoyed this one; as ever I'm a little nervous but I would have killed to see a scene like this because Luke's voice is so damn sexy so... anyway!**


	11. Light On My Shoulder

**A/N: Thank you for the support you guys- I really appreciate it!**

**Disclaimer: so i'm racing through S2 of Supernatural and i am SO jealous of Danneel Harris, i wish i owned just a little piece of Jensen. I own nothing however. **

It had been almost a week and she still hadn't moved. She couldn't go in but she couldn't stop coming back. She gazed up at the glass windows and exhaled hard, come on Sawyer, couldn't you just suck it up and go inside? She chewed her thumb nervously, cursing her indecisiveness. A newspaper sheet blew into her feet and she lifted up her legs to let it fly past. Her hair whipped around her face and she shivered involuntarily. It had been raining solidly for two days and above her now thunder rumbled faintly. It was getting dark and she sighed and turned away, not today.

Her hands were numb and she realised they were almost blue. She noticed a cafe across the road and ran over to it. Pushing the door open she shook her hair out and let out a sigh of relief.

"Wow it really is throwing it down out there."

Pulled out of her deep thoughts she looked across at the counter and grinned, "so _this_ is where you work?"

Haley flipped a tea towel over her shoulder and shrugged, "by day." They laughed and she gestured to the nearest stool, "you want some coffee?"

"Actually, can I get a hot chocolate please?" Peyton sat down heavily and looked around, "this is a really great place."

"Well thank you," a different voice spoke and an older woman appeared with dark hair and a wide smile. She was leaning on the door frame behind Haley and had kind eyes that met Peyton's warmly.

"Karen this is Peyton-" Haley began.

"Peyton?" Karen suddenly straightened up and moved forward, "as in Peyton Sawyer?"

"Uh yeah-" Peyton felt suddenly nervous, "how did you know?"

"Oh I've heard all about you," Karen teased.

"How?"

"Oh I've mentioned you," Haley said quickly, shooting Karen a warning glance.

Karen rolled her eyes and then chuckled, "yes that's right, _Haley's_ been talking about you none stop."

Peyton narrowed her eyes in confusion, "what-"

"Hey Karen-" Jake came through from the kitchen carrying a tray of mugs and then smiled as he saw Peyton, "oh hey, it's the smiley cheerleader."

"Hey Jake," Peyton smiled faintly, "how's it going?"

He nodded, "can't complain. You?"

"Yeah great, thanks. How's Jenny?"

"Ahh she's actually asleep in the kitchen, you wanna say hello?"

"That'd be great but don't wake her on my account."

Jake waved a hand," oh no she needs to be up anyway, she won't be sleepy tonight otherwise. I'll bring her though in a mo." He disappeared back through to the kitchen whistling something.

Haley passed Peyton a mug of hot chocolate, "so what do you think of the book?"

Peyton clutched the warm mug gratefully and nodded, "oh I love it. I haven't read anything like it before. Hey have you ever read John Mcgregor's If Nobody Speaks Of Remarkable Things?"

"No," Haley slipped a tray of used cups and plates onto the counter, "you recommending it?"

Peyton nodded, "it's amazing. It feels almost fragile, like the book is going to break in your hands."

Haley raised her eyebrows, "wow I didn't take you for the sentimental type."

"Oh no I'm not normally," she shrugged, "just with my fiction."

"Alright," Jake reappeared, "Peyton, this is my baby girl Jenny- Jenny, this is Peyton," he glanced up at Peyton in amusement, "a cheerleader from school."

Peyton shot him a look and then glanced back at the little girl in Jake's arms. A mop of golden red hair and wide grey eyes stared up at hair, "hey pretty girl, how you doin'?"

Jake shifted his daughter to his other arm, "you wanna hold her?"

"Errr Peyton, are you a baby person?" Haley interrupted, grinning at the blonde.

Peyton scowled at her, "yes actually. My best friend in Atlanta had a little boy."

"Atlanta?" Karen exclaimed, "is that where you lived before you came here?"

Peyton was concentrating on taking Jenny from Jake's arms and didn't respond for a second, smiling into the big eyes. Finally she shook her head, "no I was in Atlanta when I was... fourteen?" She shrugged, smiling faintly, "you lose track."

Karen nodded, leaning on the counter, "your family move around a lot?"

"Yeah," Jenny grabbed one of Peyton's curls and she laughed, "I'm an army brat born and bred. Been everywhere and nowhere all at the same time."

"Oh," Karen paused, "I'm sorry."

Peyton shrugged, "you get used to it." Her green eyes lit up as Jenny's hand touched her face, "hey there girly."

Haley moved round the counter to play with Jenny's foot, "I take it back Peyton, she likes you!"

"You don't need to sound so surprised!"

"Sorry!"

"Just ignore her Peyton," Karen said firmly as she made her way through to the kitchen, "she's a cynic!"

Rolling her eyes Haley chuckled and then shrugged, "what can I say? I am."

"Hey I'm not judging," Peyton grinned at her, "I'm the same."

Jake eased Jenny back into his arms and Peyton felt almost bereft suddenly, "alright," he began, "I better get home. You guys coming to the game tonight?"

"Yeah we'll be there," Peyton twirled in her cheerleading outfit, "screaming with enthusiasm."

He chuckled and nodded, "see you there."

Peyton lifted her arms, "woo!"

Haley rolled her eyes, "yep joy for us all."

"What's with you? Normally you're pretty peppy compared to me."

Haley scoffed, "yeah well normally I can block Rachel out and pretend she's made of plastic but I'm not in the mood today."

"Aw come on, you know she does it to drive you crazy."

Slamming two cups down Haley sighed, "yeah well this week it's working."

Peyton pulled a sympathetic face, "believe me, I can relate. This week sucks."

Haley nodded and for a moment they both smiled at one another faintly. Finally Peyton stood up, "anyway, I better get going to go make my hair respectable for our boys." She dropped a damp five dollar note on the counter as she spoke.

"Speaking of," Haley raised an eyebrow, "you and Lucas-"

"Are taking it slow," Peyton said firmly, she shrugged and then smirked, "at least for now."

"Alright, but technically as his best friend I should warn you not to hurt him," Haley folded her arms, "you're not going to are you?"

Peyton shook her head, "not planning on it." Haley noticed her eyes light up as she continued, "he's... really nice," she finished shyly. She felt like she could trust Haley with the truth but she really wasn't ready to vocalise or even admit to herself just quite how strongly she felt for him.

Haley nodded, she understood, "that's good to hear," she said softly.

"Yeah," Peyton smiled quickly, "just don't tell him ok?"

"I won't," Haley laughed, "but maybe you should!"

"I will, eventually," she grinned and waved a hand, "thanks!"

* * *

She was back at the same blasted place again. Two days had passed, a game had been won and she and Lucas had continued to dance around one another nervously. Lucas was trying not to push her too far too fast and she was attempting to get over the crippling panic that almost blinded her whenever they were within two feet of one another. And now here she was again. She felt like she couldn't move forward with Lucas until she'd finally faced Ellie. Now if she could only lift one foot up and- dammit, she just couldn't.

Lucas was finishing wiping up a table when he noticed her. He tilted his head to one side as he glanced out of the window and saw her standing awkwardly standing across the road. She had her back to him but he could tell she was agitated. She was twitching one of her gorgeous legs nervously and he raised an eyebrow, what the hell was she doing there?

He crossed the road casually and slowly sidled up beside her. She shifted slightly to imply she knew he was there and continued to stare up at the building. He could see she was shivering and the rain was making her uniform stick to her skin. He blinked and looked up at the same spot she was staring at and wondered why she was so transfixed with the place.

She sighed finally, her breath misting in the rain, "I'm not crazy; I do know I've been standing in the same place for an hour."

He did a double take, startled, "you've been here an hour?!"

"Yeah," she sighed again, "but I can't stop."

"Peyton," he made to move closer to her and then stopped, he didn't want to frighten her, "you must be freezing!"

She crossed her arms defiantly, "nope. I'm fine."

He shrugged, "fine."

"Yep," her voice was faint and he swallowed, what was going on in her head?

There was a pause and he looked down at her again, blinking in the rain. She seemed frozen to the spot. "I wish I could go in," she whispered.

"Why don't you?"

"I can't! God, I really can't."

She took a deep breath and sighed, shaking her head, cursing herself under her breath. Lucas didn't know what to say. Finally he cleared his throat, "what's-"

"My mother works here," she cut in before he could ask.

"Oh," he felt confused, "well- did you guys have a fight?"

"No! Well, yes, well no. I mean I don't know her so technically," she shook her head, "I don't even know what it amounts to technically."

He twisted to look at her, "Peyton-"

"My mom died when I was eight. She was driving to pick me up and she was late, she ran one red light and that was it. She was gone. Then last week a woman turned up on my doorstep and claimed she was my mother and it turns out, she is. My dad, the least communicative person on the planet revealed that I'm actually adopted and this woman, Ellie, went to the same school we did and gave me up sixteen years ago. She just, gave me away."

"Wow Peyton," he felt completely dazed, god this _sucked_ for her. His eyes were filled with compassion as he gazed at her. He swallowed, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she scoffed, "I was already a social loser, just think what this will all do for my credentials."

"You're not a loser Peyton," he said softly, "in fact this just kind of makes you fit in more here."

She looked up at him and her eyes were glowing in the early evening light, "really?"

"Uh huh." All he wanted to do as she gazed up at him was to lean down and kiss her but he knew she wasn't in the right head frame for that.

She cleared her throat and looked back up at the windows, "I can't believe I'm back here, again."

"You know I can come in with you if you want?"

She shook her head, "no. I can't go in." She glanced down at her soaking feet, "not today." She looked up at him, he was standing up straight, his cheekbones set and he looked like the rain was barely affecting him, she felt a swoop of affection for him and then felt guilty he was standing out here with her. "You can go if you want Luke- I'm ok."

"I'm ok," he said firmly, "I'll stay until you wanna go."

They were silent again and he noticed her arms were turning blue. Wordlessly he shrugged his hoodie off and slipped it round her shoulders.

She half smiled up at him gratefully and then shook her head, "I don't know why I'm even letting this get to me. I don't know her and yet here I am. I don't know Luke... I'm, I'm-"

"Curious?"

"Yeah," she exhaled hard, "yeah I guess that's it."

"You don't need to feel bad about feeling like this Peyton; it's normal."

"Really?" She scoffed, "you know how I feel or something?"

He shrugged, "sort of. My dad ditched me before I was born and last year, I kind of got a chance to get to know him."

She stared at him intently, "and?"

"Yeah," he wished he hadn't mentioned it suddenly, "well, I found out what I wanted to know."

"But- what happened?"

Awkwardly he rubbed the back of his neck, "hasn't Nathan told you?"

"Oh," her face darkened, "yeah, I forgot."

"But that doesn't mean your mother will be anything like my dad Peyton."

"It might mean exactly that!"

"Peyton-"

"No! Luke what if it's exactly what it means?"

"You gotta give her a chance first. Maybe she'll surprise you."

"Maybe. Or maybe she'll just be another person to add to the list of people who let me down and screw my life up," she muttered, turning to stare back into the rain. "God my family could not be anymore screwed up."

Without warning she suddenly leant into him, resting her head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back softly. "I wish my mom were here," she whispered and he barely heard her. He rested his chin on the top of her head, wishing he could change this for her.

Finally she pulled away, "I don't know what to do about this Luke."

"I do," he said firmly, "you leave here tonight and come home with me."

She looked at him startled, "I-"

"I mean I'll drive you home," he said softly, smiling at her and linking his fingers through hers. "Come on."

* * *

They sat in the car in silence and Peyton leant against the window with her eyes closed. She hated that she wanted to know things about Ellie, hated that she was in the least bit curious. _Curious_, she smiled to herself as she glanced across at Lucas, staring fixedly at the road. She was astonished by him on a daily basis. It was like he _got_ her. He didn't have to constantly pepper her with questions or need to know every detail of her life instead he was just _there_. Without really thinking she reached over and touched his hand. He turned to look at her in surprise and lifted an eyebrow, "what?"

She hunched her shoulders up for a moment and then let them go, "I'm just glad you're here."

"Wow," he teased, "is Peyton Sawyer saying thank you?"

"Maybe."

He let go of the gear stick and wrapped her hand in his tightly, "well you're welcome."

They pulled up outside her house and she sighed inwardly, she didn't feel alone in the car but inside-

"Do you wanna come in?"

His eyes searched hers, "are you messing with my mind again?"

"No," she said quietly, "I just... don't wanna be alone right now."

"Ok," he nodded, speaking softly, "I can stay a while."

She seemed to visibly relax and slipped out of the car and back into the rain. He followed her up to the porch, running a hand through his hair and shivering with a mix of the cold and nerves. She opened the front door and flicked on the table lamp. It omitted a pink glow and he gazed round taking in several photographs of a beautiful young woman and a mini Peyton, beaming at the camera in all of them. In the nearest one Peyton had a pink bow in her hair and he smiled widely, moving forward to look at it more closely. Peyton snapped a hand in front of it, "that's not my best look."

"You're wearing pink," he stated, his face twitching with amusement.

She slid in front of him, her head covering the picture and narrowed her eyes at him, "not by choice."

"You look cute," he said firmly, leaning down towards her. She looked cute now with her eyeliner smudged and her hair dripping wet.

"Yeah well, I was eight," she mumbled before twisting away from him, "you want a drink or anything?"

"Actually," he caught her hand and grinned cheekily, "I wanna see upstairs."

"Oh," she raised an eyebrow, "you wanna see my dad's room?"

He laughed, "not a chance, I'm more interested in finding out on what's on _your_ walls." He pulled her up the stairs, "come on."

"You're very bossy when you want something," she retorted as she followed him.

Lucas turned and raised his eyebrows at her briefly before reaching the landing, "which is yours?"

She sighed dramatically, "fine but I have to warn you it's not tidy!"

"I can live with that," he muttered wrapping his arms round her waist and shuffling her forward.

Peyton opened the door reluctantly and he stopped grinning and looked round, "wow how long have you been here?"

"I dunno... A month? Why?" She felt nervous suddenly, her room was like her private haven and she didn't want anybody judging it. Old records filled a waist high book case that lined three walls and cds were alphabetically arranged along the top of it. She had several canvases lying around half finished and a mural of her favourite artists painted on one wall. Taylor Hawkins was leaning on Stevie Nicks shoulder laughing and twirling his drumsticks as Matthew Ryan and Ingrid Michaelson sat next to each other on a piano stool. Stevie Nicks wasn't filled in properly yet but a drying palette implied she'd been working on it before she'd gone out earlier. He shook his head in awe and moved into the room to look at a cluster of Polaroid's she had stuck to the outside of her closet door.

There were lots of Peyton with a guy with dark hair and Lucas scowled, "that your ex boyfriend?"

She snorted, "no that's an old friend," she sat down on the bed and crossed her legs, "why, you jealous?"

"No," he moved to stand in front of her and shrugged, "should I be?"

"Nah, we only slept together a couple of times," she said lightly.

"Ha ha," he deadpanned and for a second they stared at one another.

Finally she lay back on the bed and closed her eyes, "so was it everything you imagined it would be?"

He coughed loudly, "I didn't imagine it at all."

She opened an eye to glance at him, "oh ok."

"Fine," he sat beside her, avoiding looking at her legs by staring up at the canvas above her bed- there was a painting of a girl silhouette standing on a cliff with dark clouds hanging above her. "It's a whole lot brighter than I thought it would be actually."

She smiled triumphantly, "thought so."

"Shut up. I bet you've thought about my room."

"I never said I hadn't."

He was taken by surprise and then grinned, god she was impossible. There was a silence and he lay down next to her, looking at her intently, "you ok?"

"Yeah," she sighed, "I will be." She rolled over to face him, "thanks Luke."

"For what?"

"For today," she said softly. She closed her eyes, "I'm such a mess."

"You're not a mess," he said firmly, reaching over to push a curl out of her eyes, "you're just sorting through all the crap your parents left for you."

She dropped her head back against the pillow and he watched her carefully waiting for her to speak. "I don't wanna betray my mom by forgetting her Luke, I mean what if I get to know _her_ and forget about my mom?"

"You won't," he replied.

"But I'm afraid I will."

"Keep her close to your heart Peyton, and you won't forget about her."

She smiled at him faintly, "you know you're pretty smart." He inched towards her, nodding.

"You're just catching on?"

"I'm a little slow," she narrowed her eyes, "so sue me."

He reached out and stroked her face, "you gonna be sharp with me all night Peyton Elizabeth?"

"Not all night," she leant forward, "how long do you think you can handle it for?"

"Definitely not much longer," he whispered hoarsely.

Slowly she edged towards him and smiled; wordlessly he smiled back and then pulled her closer and kissed her.

* * *

She was back again. She had no idea why she kept coming here. People were going in and out of the door and she wished somehow she had the courage to just step inside. She sighed loudly, "dammit!" She knew she looked insane, she knew the people inside must be wondering what the hell a surly teenage girl was doing standing outside glaring up at them. She wished she had taken Lucas up on his offer to go inside with her and hold her hand. She could even do with Nathan to kick her butt inside the door. Both of them had been brave enough to face their dad, why couldn't she just do this? She knew why. She wasn't ready for one more person to walk out of her life. She had been letting people in left right and center this month and her quota was pretty full. Maybe Lucas and Nathan weren't going anywhere but Ellie already had practice leaving her. Turning away she stepped over a bottle and began to move across the road. She couldn't get left behind if she wasn't here to start with.

The door behind her swung open, "hey!" She turned round in surprise and swallowed as Ellie strode towards her. Ellie folded her arms, "you complain I'm stalking you and then turn up at my place of business four times in one week?"

Peyton shrugged immediately feeling defensive, "there's no crime against standing outside public property is there?"

Ellie raised an eyebrow, "I'm pretty sure you made it clear you didn't want to be anywhere near me the last time we met Peyton, so what are you doing standing outside Thud every day?"

"I'm just curious," she shrugged, "I read the magazine, I'm an artist, I'm allowed to come and check out the place right?"

"That depends, are you submitting something?"

She felt her mouth twitch, "maybe."

"Well call my editor," Ellie said firmly. "Unless you want to-"

"No," Peyton said shortly, "no I'm just gonna go."

"You don't have to-"

"Really it's fine."

"Peyton wait a second!"

Slowly the younger blonde turned to face her mother, feeling a flash of morbid curiosity as she took in the exact same facial features she saw in the mirror every day.

Ellie shrugged, "at least come and stand in the lobby and argue with me- you're gonna catch a cold out here in the rain."

Peyton hesitated and then finally nodded shortly, maybe Lucas was right, maybe she had to take a chance; even if she was absolutely terrified of what she'd find out about her history. "Ok," she murmured, "just for a minute."


	12. Maybe Tomorrow

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

**A/N: Thank you again for all the support guys, i'm sorry this chapter has taken so long- hell of a week!**

Nathan sat back and let out a low whistle, "wow."

"Yep," Peyton picked up her pencil and began to shade the face she'd been sketching before they'd started talking.

"You went to see your mom!"

"Yep."

"I can't believe it."

"Yep."

"And you guys talked?"

"Yep."

"Stop saying that," he growled.

She stuck her tongue out at him and then smiled, "sorry."

They were sitting at their favourite table in the empty art room and the afternoon sunshine was pouring through the clouds and in through the window overhead. They were killing time before practice and Peyton was filling Nathan in on the conversation she'd had with her newly discovered birth mother.

"So..." Nathan leant forward and searched her face, "what did you think?"

Peyton scoffed, "what am I supposed to think Nate? She's thirty four, she's blonde, she has good taste in music and she's got a kick ass leather jacket I like."

"That's not what I meant."

She sighed and sat back on her chair, twirling her pencil between her fingers, "I know it's not but it's kind of all I can take in right now you know?"

He nodded slowly and then said quietly, "did she tell you anything about- you know- why?"

Her green eyes were fixed on a black smudge on the table and she hunched up her shoulders, resisting the urge to well up, "she was a party girl, all screwed up and couldn't look after herself let alone a kid." She looked up at him and tried to smile, "I was too much to handle I guess. So she met with my parents and... the rest is history."

"I'm so sorry Sawyer," his usually gruff voice was soft and his eyes were full of sympathy.

She inclined her head awkwardly, "thanks. But look," she shook her head, "the Sawyer pity party is officially closed for today- tell me about what you and Haley got up to last night."

Nathan blushed and then disappeared back behind the sports magazine he'd been reading, "uh you know."

"No," she grinned and stared at him teasingly, "I don't know."

"I'm gonna hurt you if you don't stop looking at me like that."

"Aw come on Scott- share! You made me spill!"

"Yours was important, you know, big family drama, _that_ needs talking about."

"Speaking of," she changed track, "how's it going on the Scott family front?"

Nathan scowled, "my dad's got us pretending we're this big happy family for the mayoral campaign and my mom's barely on the same planet as us because she's spending so much time trying to avoid him. I swear everything I learnt about how to screw up a marriage- I learned right in my own backyard."

Peyton bit her lip, "Nate-"

"Hey, didn't we say pity parties were over for today?"

She rolled her eyes, "that's totally different Scott- like you said, this is _family_."

He narrowed his own eyes back at her, "yeah well mine could give the Addams family a run for their money with the crazy so can we not go there please? I've got a mom who's defined pretty much by her absence, a dad who's been riding me since I was eight and is now planning on ruining everyone in Tree Hill's lives as well as mine by running for mayor, an uncle who's pulled a disappearing act and a brother who's currently standing gawping at you over there and he's officially creeping me out."

Peyton's head shot up and she twisted round to see Lucas standing at the door, who started from staring happily at Peyton and then lifted a hand sheepishly, "hey." He glared at Nathan, "thanks for the intro."

Nathan smirked and stood up, "whatever man, you're the one stalking Sawyer."

"_Nathan_!" Peyton hissed at him crossly.

"What? I'm not allowed to state the obvious?" He patted Luke on the shoulder and winked at Peyton, swinging his bag over his shoulder, "see you in there," he glanced at Lucas, "I was gonna say don't be late but who am I kidding? He's got no stamina."

Lucas glowered at his brother as he left the room and then turned to face Peyton who was tugging at her cheerleading outfit nervously, "did I mention that I hate that guy?"

She chuckled, "please, you're just glad he's talking to you not threatening to beat your ass every two minutes."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me," she raised an eyebrow at him challengingly and for a moment his eyes held hers and then he smiled and sat down next to her.

"How's your day been?"

Peyton shrugged, unable to tear her eyes from his, "was ok." She felt her mouth twitch into a smile and then looked down at her sketch, "how was yours?"

He paralleled her shrug, "was ok."

She rolled her eyes, still smiling, and then blinked in surprise as she realised he was staring at her strangely, "what?"

"Are you are you smiling?"

"What? No!"

"Come on, admit it," he sat back triumphantly, "you're smiling."

"I don't like you much," she said narrowing her eyes.

"Liar," he muttered.

"Jerk."

He laughed, "you don't seem to mind that." She was silent, unable to deny the fact and avoiding his eyes. Lucas shook his head and then pulled her towards him suddenly, tipping her chair forward so that she was leaning into him, "hi," he said quietly when she was close.

"Heyy," she lowered her head as she leant in towards him, closing her eyes-

The door of the art room suddenly opened and they both looked up guiltily as Rachel clattered in, "blondie you're late for practice _again_. Am I gonna have to start having Bevin follow you around to make sure you get to practice on time _and_ keep your panties on?"

Peyton scowled at her as Lucas let go of her chair, smirking to himself. She shot Rachel a look, "I'll be there in two minutes red."

Rachel folded her arms and leant against the door frame, "I can wait," she raised an eyebrow at Lucas, "I know what he can do in less than two minutes."

Lucas stood up, "aaaand that's my cue. People talking smack about me while I'm here," he muttered crossly. He grabbed his bag and smiled shyly at Peyton, "see you at practice?"

Peyton nodded, "yeah." She was staring up at him, wishing he didn't have to go.

"Cool," he inclined his head at her, blinking finally and looking away. "Always a pleasure Rachel," he added as he passed her.

Rachel smirked at him, "don't you forget it," and then turned back to Peyton, "ready?"

"Yeah one sec," Peyton stuffed her papers together and threw them in the corner with her sketch book to collect later. "Alright Stalin let's go."

"You know it's really not fair that _I'm_ captain of the cheerleaders and somehow you're the one getting all the action from the hot basketball player."

Laughing Peyton threw an arm over Rachel's shoulders, "but aren't you just filled with joy for _me_?"

"Ew," Rachel shrugged her off, narrowing her eyes at her, "I would be happier if we were _both_ getting some."

"How caring of you."

"Oh shut up! At least I implied I cared for your happiness at all."

"Well I guess that's something," Peyton frowned, "seriously though- you ok?"

"Fine," Rachel replied shortly, "don't get all mushy on me now Sawyer, I like you snarky and annoying."

"You mean, _just_ the way I am?" She teased, clutching her hands together.

"Jesus, now you're trying to be funny?"

Peyton pouted, "it's Bridget Jones!"

Rachel kicked the door of the gym open as she turned to talk to Peyton, walking backwards, "I know that but it was barely funny when the girl pretending to be English said it."

"It made you smile," Peyton insisted stubbornly.

"I'm a cheerleader," Rachel shrugged, "I fake it all the time."

"The boys in Tree Hill will be devastated to hear that."

This time Rachel did laugh and Peyton smirked at her as they arrived at the far end of the gym to where the cheerleading squad was warming up.

* * *

Practice ended with Rachel shouting at everyone to remember to do fifty sit ups a night and storming out of the gym muttering about incompetence. Peyton watched her go in amusement, taking a sip from her water bottle before spotting Lucas making his way over to her. She managed not to spill water down her front and quickly checked her hair wasn't sticking up.

"Hey you, nice legs there."

"Hey, thank," she felt her cheeks flame up and cursed herself for being girly and reacting to his charm.

"Rachel was riding you guys pretty hard today, what's up with her?"

Peyton grinned, "she's just, um, in need of some affection."

"Ah," his eyes danced with laughter, "I see."

"And we've got that annual tournament thing next week so I think she's freaking out."

"Mm," Lucas smirked, "you, me, a hotel room..." He stretched his arms in front of him, "sounds pretty good."

She raised an eyebrow, "down boy! Rachel would kill you if she found out you were keeping me from getting my beauty sleep."

"You don't need any of that," he said firmly.

She blushed and then took the hand he offered to climb down the benches and onto the court, "so you guys look like you're playing well together- how's it going?"

"It's good, we're actually playing like team for the first time in-" his words died as he noticed Dan walking into the gym. "Oh god Peyton I'm really sorry about this," he muttered to her. He let go of her hand, stepping in front of her as Dan made his way across to them.

Peyton looked up at him startled, "what's-"

"Well well," Dan brushed his hands together, "the prodigal son is finally found," he flicked his eyes over Peyton and smirked, "and with a girl." Lucas clenched his jaw angrily and Dan shook his head, "tut tut, careful there Lucas, make sure you're not about to repeat history- and in this very gym."

"Go to hell," Lucas growled angrily.

"Careful Lucas, you don't want to insult the wrong people here- I'm gonna be mayor soon and-"

"Look I don't know what you want," Lucas interrupted him and took Peyton's arm gently, "but we're not staying."

Dan suddenly stepped in front of them and Peyton stopped short as Lucas' arm pushed her behind him, "you're not going anywhere Lucas."

"Peyton go see if Nathan is in the changing rooms," Lucas said quietly.

"I'm not going anywhere," she replied firmly, staring at Dan with complete mistrust in her eyes.

"Ah," Dan glanced at her again, "she's got more spirit than your brother's wife." He reached out to touch her hair, "maybe I'll-"

"Don't touch her-" Lucas suddenly snapped and with that warning he threw his whole body into a punch that sent Dan sideways.

"Luke!" Peyton grabbed his arm, "let's just go!"

Dan straightened up and chuckled, "well, well, that is impressive. First you try to burn me alive and then you hit me- first class son behaviour."

"Wait you did what?!" Peyton blurted out incredulously.

"Peyton I didn't-"

"Haven't you heard girly? My son here set fire to his father's dealership whilst I was inside unconscious."

"That's a lie," Lucas snapped, "and you know it." He turned to Peyton looking at her desperately, "Peyton I-"

"Don't underestimate me Lucas," Dan snapped and grabbed Lucas' neck, "I know it was you. And when I have proof- and I promise you i'll have proof soon- i'm gonna make you pay."

"Hey get off of him," Peyton said angrily, pulling Lucas away from his father. "Lucas we should go," she said firmly, tugging at his arm.

"Ah ah ahhh," Dan waggled a finger, "I want a word with my son," he grabbed Lucas' shoulder but Lucas pulled away sharply.

"Enough," he muttered, "leave me alone." He took Peyton's hand, "let's go," he said shortly.

She could barely keep up with him as he stormed across the gym, "we're not done Lucas!" Dan called after him.

Lucas slammed the door open and marched out into the car park where torrential rain had replaced the sun and poured down on them. "God damn that bastard!" He shouted up at the sky, Peyton flinched and watched him warily for a moment. He looked so angry and just a little bit lost; she knew the exact same look from her own face.

She moved forward wordlessly and took his hand, he jumped and then looked at her as she felt his knuckles for a break. "I'm sorry," he muttered.

"It wasn't your fault," she replied softly. "Come on, I'll drive us to mine."

* * *

He was silent in the car, nursing his bruised hand and staring irately out the window. Peyton attempted to break the tension, "I'm really sorry about the heater- I should really get it fixed."

Recognising her attempt to get him to talk he turned and smiled wanly at her, "bring it in to the shop- I can do it in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes?!" She grinned, staring determinedly at the road, "now there's an impressive way to turn a girl's head."

He stretched and winced as his knuckles brushed against the window, "yeah well I was a keeper before you met my dad."

Peyton chuckled, "it takes a whole lot more than that to compete with my dad trust me."

"No seriously, I bet your dad's like Jonathan Kent and I got stuck with Lionel Luther."

"So you're implying I'm superman?"

He laughed, "maybe."

She indicated and pulled into the drive, "then is now as good a time as any to tell you secretly I can fly?"

"Oh so can you take me to the Lakers game this weekend?"

Turning off the engine she twisted to face him and pulled an apologetic face, "sorry baby I only use my powers for good."

"Ah shucks," he grinned, "but I can forgive you if you're free Saturday..."

"Hmmm," she raised an eyebrow, "what are you thinking?"

"Tuxes and diamonds," he shrugged, "you got any lying around?"

"Yeah I think so- my dad mostly keeps them in the vault but I reckon I could have something ready by Saturday," she examined her watch, "I can call some people."

He leant an elbow on the window sill and smiled at her, "you're pretty damn cool Peyton Elizabeth."

She shrugged easily, "I know." She bit her lip as she held his gaze, "so are we gonna talk about what happened back there?"

He tipped his head back and sighed, the rain was still drumming on the roof and for a second the car radio could barely be heard over it. Kelly Jones' gravelly voice wafting over the rain.

_I look around at a beautiful life, been the upperside of down, been the inside of out, but we breathe, we breathe._

"Luke-" she began softly but he sat up suddenly and leant forward.

"Ok, here goes." He met her eyes briefly and then looked away, "there was a fire at my dad's dealership at the start of the summer and- and I was there. But I wasn't there setting the place on fire like he thinks! I swear Peyton- I went there to talk and I saw the fire and- and I went inside and he was just lying there so I dragged him out..."

"You pulled him out?" Her voice was hushed and she gazed at him in awe.

He sighed, "yep, but there's something else," he glanced at her and then took a breath, "I saw someone there, driving away- and- and I think _they_ set fire to the place."

"Oh god Luke," she clutched his hand tightly, "and Dan thinks it was you?"

"Yep," his eyes were filled with sorrow as he looked at her again, "I wanted to bring him down, to free my family, but someone got there first and- and they made everything so much worse!"

"I'm so sorry Lucas," she said finally, "but can I say that I'm kind of relieved you pulled the man out instead of letting him burn alive- very Clark Kent of you."

He smiled at her faintly, "you think I did the right thing- after everything you know about Dan?"

"Maybe it wasn't about him Luke- maybe it was about you, and you being the good guy you are. He might not be a good person- but you could never have left him there."

"I never thought of that," he said startled.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm here then," she said smiling and stretching her legs across his knees.

He laced his fingers through hers and nodded, "it is."

_So maybe tomorrow, i'll find my way home._

The car radio hummed softly as they looked at one another and then without another word Peyton suddenly leant across and kissed him. He pulled her across to him, running his hands through her hair as she wound her arms round his neck. "A very good thing," he muttered again.

She smiled as they began to kiss again and stretched her arm out and banged her hand against the window pane, "ouch mother f-" she sat up straight, "that hurt."

He sighed, stroking her legs, "we should probably go inside. You know... where there's space..."

They both glanced out of the window through her handprint and Peyton pulled a face, "do we really have to go outside?"

"Yep," he smiled at her cheekily. "I'll make it worth your while."

"That's not what I've heard."

He widened his eyes at her, "excuse me!?"

"I was just kidding!" She yelled in surprise as he pushed open the door and catching her round the waist he pulled her out into the rain. "Lucas!"

_Maybe tomorrow, i'll find my way home._

Somehow they made it up the steps and fell against the door together. Barely opening her eyes she scrambled around in her bag for her keys and eventually shoved the door open. Inside Peyton kicked her shoes off as Lucas dropped his hoodie to the floor. He pushed her backwards into the wall and she felt her hands knock the pictures behind them as she stretched her arms up above her head. She heard one clatter to the floor with a crash and then Lucas pushed the frame away with a foot. Ignoring the noise she concentrated on peeling off his soaking wet tee shirt and tossing it across the hall. She ran her hands across his back and pulled him closer as his own hands pulled off her blue cheerleading vest and discarded it. They stumbled across the floor, stepping on glass and she swore, suddenly distracted.

Wordlessly he swept her off her feet and carried her through the hall and into the nearest room. They collapsed on the sofa and he trailed his hands through her hair, stroking the back of her neck. He could feel her trembling with nerves and excitement as he kissed her. Her arms were cold as ice and he wrapped his own tightly around her to warm her up. She scrunched into him, cupping his face, wondering if he could feel how fast her heart was racing. She rested her hand on his chest momentarily and felt his heart beneath his vest- it was beating just as fast as hers. He smiled as he caught her hand, it was such a subtle gesture but one she would only make when the rest of the world wasn't watching. He kissed her hand before she arched it round his neck and kissed him again. She slipped her legs between his and he shifted in an attempt not to crush her but before he could properly gain his balance his elbow missed the sofa seat and in two seconds flat he was on the floor below her.

"Luke!" She sat up and clambered down to where he was lying outstretched with his eyes closed. "Luke!"

"Umpphh," he pulled a bent arm from beneath his back and straightened it, "ouuchhh."

"Oh god Luke are you ok?" She clutched his head and his eyes slowly opened to focus on hers; they lit up and he gave her a side smile as he ran his hands up her sides, making her shiver.

"Hey pretty. Nice legs you got here."

She rolled her eyes, "you're fine."

"Yeah," he pulled her close again. "But I might need a little help standing up."

She leant in to kiss him, wrapping her arms around his neck, "who said anything about standing up?"

He grinned, "well, now I've got company on the floor..." They dropped backwards, kissing just as passionately as they had been before. Peyton pulled his white cotton vest over his head and threw it behind them just as a light flicked on overhead and a pair of boots stopped in the threshold of the living room.

"What in the hell is going on here?!"

Peyton jerked up and felt momentarily like her heart had left her body, "Dad!?" She grabbed her nearest cushion to cover herself and stood up in shock, "what are you doing here?!"

Larry folded his arms, "I asked first Peyton Sawyer," he gestured to Lucas who was standing up sheepishly, "you're pretty damn lucky I left my shotgun in the car kid."

"Meet Lionel Luther," Peyton muttered under her breath to Lucas.

"What's your name boy?"

"Lucas," Lucas folded his arms feeling extremely self conscious and rather too naked to be meeting the girlfriend's father for the first time, "Lucas Scott... Sir," he added.

Larry bent and picked up Luke's discarded vest and threw it to him, "sit down and shut up." He glanced at his daughter, "you gonna stand there idly Peyton or you gonna find something to say for yourself?"

Peyton scowled, "what would you like to hear first?"

"You think now is the time for cheek?"

"Was that a rhetorical question?" Larry stared hard at Peyton and finally she rolled her eyes, "look dad- I'm nearly seventeen, you must surely know the facts of-"

Her father held up a hand, "enough! You know my rules Peyton- no boys unless I'm here."

"Dad, I hate to break it to you but I've been breaking that rule since the day you made it- you're not normally here to enforce it."

Behind them Lucas closed his eyes briefly and tried not to laugh, it was like she was determined to get in as much trouble as possible.

Larry pointed a finger at her, "go to your room and stay there till I say you can come out Miss Sawyer."

"But Dad-"

"I won't tell you again," he growled warningly and she hesitated, pouting, "scram!" Peyton stalked out of the room muttering crossly and slammed the door above them loudly. Lucas flinched and then almost shrank back into the sofa as Larry fixed his gaze on him. "So," Larry folded his arms, "you think you're good enough for my daughter?"

"Oh uh- well- I- uhhh-"

"Speak up kid!"

"I'm- I've been well brought up- I-"

"Dad for god's sake leave him alone!" Peyton suddenly shouted from outside the door.

"Hush up Peyton- I'll deal with you in a minute!"

Lucas scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "you know what I think I better go-"

"Alright," Larry held up a hand, "I think we better start over. Go find the rest of your clothes Lucas and," he leant towards the door, speaking loudly, "Peyton can get dressed! And then we'll all sit down and have a serious talk!"


	13. Even Angels Fall

**A/N: Guys i'm really sorry for being a bad updater, i've been on holiday and terribly neglectful- please forgive. **

**Disclaimer: i don't own anything- although i have recently discovered Veronica Mars and i WISH i owned Logan Echolls- LOVE him.**

Peyton and Lucas sat on opposite ends of the sofa as Larry stared at them both silently from the chair across the room. Peyton was determinedly holding his gaze and finally crossed her arms and spoke, "alright what's the deal here?"

"Did I say you could speak?"

"I don't normally feel the need for your permission."

"Enough!" Larry stood up, "this is still my house and you are still my little girl and I want some answers before I even begin to consider things like curfews."

Peyton winced, "I've never had a curfew in my life!"

"Then now's the perfect time for you to learn about one! Lucas- I'm sure you have a curfew don't you?"

"Uh yes sir- my mom's pretty strict about these things."

"Hm, well that's something- and how old are you?"

"I'm seventeen in uh- a couple of months."

"And what are you studying? I assume you're at school and getting yourself an education?"

"Yes- uh I'm at Tree Hill High with Peyton, and I'm hoping to go on and study literature at college."

"Literature?! And what kind of career can you expect from that?"

"Dad he's not asking for my hand in marriage give the guy some breathing room!"

"Peyton I am ten seconds from driving you to base tonight and leaving you there for a week, will you please be quiet?!"

Silenced Peyton sat back on the sofa crossly, glaring at her father. Larry turned back to Lucas, "where were we?"

"Look Sir- I know you don't know much about me but I've been pretty well raised- my mom runs a business in town and I'm sure she'd be happy to meet you and confirm I'm not a serial killer or anything- and I really do care for your daughter- very much."

Peyton glanced at him startled as he continued, "I play basketball for our school team and eventually I want to be a writer- maybe even write the next great American novel," he fell silent feeling he might have over shared and then looked at Larry nervously. Peyton exhaled slowly and felt complete surprise, she had had no idea he had aspirations to be a writer. She had known he was good at English but to want to be an author- she felt both impressed and a building despair- Larry would never go for a wannabe author for his only daughter.

To her shock Larry nodded suddenly, "ok. Alright then. Lucas you're gonna have to prove to me you can take good care of my daughter here before I let you start planning the wedding-" Lucas coughed with embarrassment and Larry continued, "and I'm still not ok with you two being here un-chaperoned but this time and only this time, I'll let it slide with a warning." He glanced at his daughter, "you however Peyton Elizabeth, you are grounded until the next cheerleading competition." He stood up to shake Lucas' hand, "I hope we meet again, on a slightly more formally dressed occasion perhaps."

"But dad-"

"Don't push your luck!" He warned before heading to the door, "I'll give you two a minute and then Peyton you'll have a list of chores to be doing and Lucas I'm sure your mother is waiting for you."

"Yeah- thank you sir- it was nice meeting you," Lucas said quickly, standing up and nodding awkwardly.

Once Larry had left the room he turned to grin widely at Peyton, letting out a sigh of relief, "oh my god Peyton- I thought we were completely dead!"

She shook her head in disbelief, "I swear he must be on something- that was not the General- he would normally- well, let's just say you'd know you'd met him by the bruises.

Lucas sat down heavily beside her still smiling, "but I survived- we survived! And, I think he liked me."

"I agree," she smiled back at him, "congratulations on that."

He leant forward and kissed her excitedly, "I better get going- good luck with the grounding."

"Oh thanks! Jesus you get a handshake and I get to mow the lawn or something."

"Sorry babe- some of us are just naturally charming."

She shot him a dark look, "ha ha."

"Ok," he kissed her hand hurriedly and then jumped up, "I'm gonna go before he comes back in with that shot gun- I'll call you later ok?"

"Ok," her voice was limp and she corrected herself and smiled brightly up at him, "sure, speak to you later."

She watched him disappear down the street and then sat back down on the sofa, oh crap. Now she was truly in over her head. Lucas had assumed that meeting the parents equalled actual relationship and she had no idea if she could handle one of those, let alone if she'd be any good at one. Basically, she was screwed.

* * *

Peyton collapsed next to Nathan on a bench outside school and exhaled hard. He glanced up from the book on Shakespeare he'd been reading before first period and chuckled, "you look like hell."

She scowled up at him but didn't object. She was almost drowning in a huge VAST hoodie and her aviators were covering most of her face. She sat up to search her pockets for a packet of cigarettes, "had a bad night," she muttered.

"You and Luke have a fight?"

"There's no need to sound so hopeful!"

"Sorry- but the guy just isn't good enough for you Sawyer." He reached across and took the cigarettes from her hand, "his only bonus is that he doesn't clog his lungs up with crap."

She scoffed, "he's far and away better than me Nate- did you know his mom gave him a curfew and he _sticks_ to it?!"

"Yeah well- he's a goody two shoes, you knew that."

"Nathan!"

"Fine," he shrugged and rested his arm on the back of the bench and tossing the cigarette packet into the nearest bin. She let it slide, this once. Then he turned back to look at her seriously, "so he was raised differently to you and me- doesn't make him better than us Sawyer- it makes him different, that's _all_."

She sighed and examined her peeling black nail varnish, "yeah well right now I feel like I'm corrupting him or something, he's all golden and pretty and I'm- I'm not."

Nathan shook his head firmly, "you and self doubt don't mix as well as you think. You're not inferior to Lucas Peyton, you're his equal- stop thinking otherwise. If he didn't want to be with you- he wouldn't be with you. Besides I've never seen a guy so obsessed."

"You think?" She felt strangely touched, ignoring Nathan's wording.

"Yeah I'm positive- he practically has Lucas Sawyer written on all his notebooks."

"Dude not funny," she squinted up at his through her shades, "but seriously?"

"Yes. Sawyer, where's this coming from?!"

"My dad did the formal General interrogation last night- he practically got out thumb screws and Luke passed with flying colours- a first in Sawyer dating history; normally he kicks them out- _literally_."

Nathan chuckled, "I would have paid to see my brother get the Larry Sawyer treatment- he scared the hell out of me and we're not even dating."

"Nathan Scott admitting to fear?"

"Shut up," he muttered, glancing back at his book, "you're the one freaking out just because your dad finally approves of a guy you're dating."

"Oh no I didn't say he approved- Luke doesn't know how to use military equipment which means he will never be perfect in my dad's eyes but- he is pretty damn close to being _accepted_ by the General."

"Then what's the real problem?" Nathan narrowed his eyes as he stared at his friend and realised without her answer, "that's it isn't it?"

"What?"

"It's real now. Have you ever stuck around in a town long enough to do a real relationship?"

"That's not the point and you're completely wrong!" She pulled her knees up to her chest hugging them tightly, "I'm not freaked out at all- I'm fine!"

"Liar."

"Jerk!" She glared at him for a moment and then sighed, resting her chin on her knees, "fine I'm completely freaked out."

"Welcome to commitment," Nathan grinned, "you're gonna love it."

"Jesus," she muttered, "could you be glowing anymore with glee?"

"Probably not, hey I wonder what Rachel's gonna say about all this."

Peyton turned to face him and raised an eyebrow, "why? You want an excuse to talk to her?"

He scoffed and shoved his book away, "no! I was just revelling at your obvious awkwardness."

"You should be shot," she muttered crossly turning back to stare at the wet concrete, "and so should I! Nate what the hell's wrong with me that I can't just be happy and ok with this?"

Nathan shrugged, "you got me. If I knew the secret to happy and ok do you think we'd be sitting here?"

"Ok that was where you were supposed to insert the inspiring speech Nate."

"Sorry," he chuckled, picking up his bag, "but we have English- no time for those."

"Can't you at least tell me you maybe think it'll work?"

He grinned, "Peyton- generally you're like the least smiley person ever and when he's around," he shrugged, "you at least appear like you want to smile."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "ha ha."

"I'm just saying Sawyer- if he makes you happy, quit being a wimp."

Scowling Peyton stood up to follow him into school and down the corridor for English. She knew what she was doing, _exactly_ what she was doing. She had spent her entire life making decisions based on what would irritate her father the most and suddenly- god suddenly he was absolutely supportive?

* * *

"You look awful," Rachel said in horror as she gazed at Peyton, "what is that bin bag you're wearing?"

"This is 1999 VAST tour hoodie thank you very much," Peyton retorted, "and since when do I ask for your opinion on what I wear?"

"Maybe you should start."

"You're really showing the love today."

"Oh please, the only reason i'm talking to you when you're wearing that... thing, is _because_ I care."

Peyton glared at her for a moment and then relented, "do we have practice tonight?"

"Don't we always?" Rachel was never one to hold a grudge and she rolled her eyes at Peyton, handing over a lip gloss, "at least put some of this on, _please_. Otherwise Lucas might not be able to tell you apart from the wall display."

"Thanks. I think." She was glad she wearing some two minutes later when Lucas walked in looking as gorgeous as ever. He cast a half, private smile her way and then sat down heavily. The brief success with Peyton's father had not been enough to wipe away the concerns about his own father and he had not slept well. Peyton could feel her heart fluttering and she focused on writing her name over and over on her folder.

"Good morning ladies and gentlemen!" Miss Francis floated in as enthusiastic as ever and beamed at them all. "I have a special assignment for you all today. It's a project that will last us until the end of term. You will be working in pairs to come up with an argument for the questions I have prepared here- and we will be having a debate in the last class of term! Now I have put all your names in a hat- I do love to do things the old fashioned way- Mr Tanner would you care to pick first?"

Skillz reached his hand into one of Miss Francis' straw hats and pulled out a strip of paper, "I got my boy Mouth." Mouth grinned at him from across the room.

"Marvellous, Mr Scott?"

Lucas pulled out a second name and cleared his throat, smiling, "Haley James Scott."

Haley winked at him happily as Miss Francis moved around the classroom with her hat. "And Miss Davis, your turn!"

Brooke unravelled the piece of paper and flinched, "I got Peyton."

There was a silence and Peyton attempted to smile at her before staring at her feet. Great. Beside her she could feel Nathan dying to laugh.

"Miss Gattina take your pick!"

Rachel read her piece of paper and then lifted an eyebrow, smirking, "I have the younger and more attractive Scott brother."

The names went on until everyone had a partner and Miss Francis clapped her hands happily, "excellent! Now I want you to join your partners and discuss these questions." She scrawled the questions on the board and then waved a hand, "go!"

Reluctantly Peyton picked up her bag and moved across the classroom- Brooke clearly wasn't moving. She sat down next to her and raised her eyebrows, "hey there cheery."

"Hey," she said quietly.

For a second they sat in silence until finally Peyton smiled at her faintly, "you can pick the question."

* * *

After what felt like the longest hour of her life Peyton made her way down the corridor pondering her insane inability to commit when suddenly a hand pulled her into the darkness of the broom closet she was walking past and she let out a shout of surprise.

"What the he-"

"Shhh!" Lucas slid a hand over her mouth and then lowered it grinning.

"Luke what are you doing?"

He wound his arms round her waist, "just thought I'd say good morning... properly," he muttered, bending to kiss her neck. For a second she closed her eyes, sinking into the moment. And then, like a ton of bricks, all her issues fell right back into her head.

"Yeah you know I really have to get to Art I-"

"It can wait," he whispered, kissing her again.

She kissed him back for a moment and then pulled away, "Luke I-"

Lucas sighed and fixed her with a stern look, "what's going on Peyton?"

She looked up at him, wide eyed innocence on in full, "what do you mean?"

Ignoring the faux innocent look he raised his eyebrows at her, "I mean yesterday, things are great- I meet your dad and more than that, I don't get shot, and you freak out. You wanna tell me what's up with that?"

"I- I really don't know what you're talking about," she said finally.

"Fine," he said shortly, "I gotta go, I guess we both have more important things to do today." He picked up his bag and opened the door, light flooding in from the empty corridor. She blinked in confusion and wished she could get over her own neurosis.

"Wait a second-" she reached out and caught his arm, "Lucas-"

"You know what?" He turned round crossly, "I get that you have trouble believing someone when they say they're actually sticking around and I get that maybe this is a first for you, I really do. But this- pushing me away before you even have a chance to, I don't know, maybe fall for the good guy- it's stupid. And it's too late. I'm not going anywhere. So you can pout and you can get really stubborn and pissed off and try and claw my eyes out- but I can take it. And I mean it," his eyes were firm as they met hers, "I'll wait for you. I'm in this, so too bad." He shrugged and hauled his bag over his shoulder, "I'm a whole lot tougher than I look."

She stood, motionless and seriously impressed, watching him walk away. "Lucas," she called out suddenly; he turned and looked at her expectantly, "call me later ok?" It was the most she could do right now.

He stared at her for a second and then smirked and turned away, unable to resist smiling. She watched him go and then exhaled hard and leant against the lockers behind her. Her hands were shaking. There was no way she'd be able to concentrate in Art this morning. Apart from anything else, every time she thought about him, his eyes, his shoulders, his hands, the things he'd just said- she couldn't even hear things people were saying to her- she'd be completely unable to draw anything. And now, god now she was feeling things, serious things... He got under her skin and she was terrified that actually, maybe she really had fallen for him.

* * *

Peyton slipped into the THUD magazine reception area and smiled brightly at the guy behind the desk. She needed to try and take control of at least one of the relationships in her life. He stared up at her dully, "yes?"

"Hey, is Ellie Harp in?"

"She's out for lunch," he replied uninterestedly, "back in half an hour."

She sighed agitatedly drumming her fingers on the desk. Finally she asked, "can I leave her a message?"

The guy dropped a pad of paper and a pen in front of her and then turned to answer the phone, "what's up, THUD magazine."

Peyton narrowed her eyes at him and then scrawled something across the paper, "thanks for all your help," she muttered before heading out of the door again.

Outside she lit a cigarette and breathed in deeply. She felt ridiculously like a naughty school girl, smoking when she shouldn't be, out of class in the middle of the day. She felt more like P Sawyer right now. As she was contemplating her re-found rebellious streak she suddenly realised the blonde woman she was staring vacantly at across the street was actually Ellie. She was about to step into the road and say hello when she noticed a kid about her age appear next to her and discreetly hand Ellie something. She blinked hard, she was dreaming, high on the rush of the first cigarette she'd had in days, she _had_ to be. But she wasn't- she knew exactly what was in the tiny bag Ellie transferred from her hand and into her pocket. Furiously she crossed the road, casting her cigarette aside and running a hand through her hair. Ellie looked up startled as she saw her daughter approaching, "Peyton I-"

"You haven't changed a bit," Peyton cut in, "you gave me up because you were a drugged up teenager but you're still the same wasted loser you were sixteen years ago." She shook her head and began to walk away, "stay the _hell_ away from me."

"Wait Peyton- it's not what you think."

Peyton span round violently, "I said leave me alone!"

"Peyton-"

"God I mean it!"

Ellie fell silent as Peyton backed away from her and then finally turned and crossed the road towards THUD. Peyton leant against the wall feeling a blur of emotions. Her mother, Lucas, her father... God it was all too complicated. After a few minutes she exhaled slowly and then adjusted her bag. She felt like someone was loading bricks on her shoulders and every time a new one was added her knees got weaker and weaker. It began to rain and she scowled up at the sky, "give me a break," she growled. Today was so not a fun day.

**So i'm not sure about this chapter- i don't want you guys to think i'm making Peyton into a flake or anything but i definitely think even the Peyton in the show had some issues with commitment and i just wanted to portray that before LP get happylarry.**


	14. Glass

**A/N: I am a bad bad updater you guys and i apologise, i have like a million excuses but they all sound kind of lame so i'll just say that i wasn't near a laptop for a while and then when i was, i was kind of blue about some stuff so... i had to get LP inspiration before writing- but i kept getting side tracked by Dean/Castiel fanfic- my new OTP :D anyway, i'm sorry! won't ever happen again i swear!!**

**Disclaimer: you think if i owned OTH i would name the child Sawyer? or let P Sawyer take the Scott name?? no no. i own nothing.**

It was still dark when Peyton rolled over in bed, finally giving up on the idea of sleep. Kicking away the sheets impatiently she sat up and ran a hand through her hair. She couldn't get the image of Ellie's guilty face out of her head. The whole scene was playing over and over again in her mind, driving her crazy and making her feel sick. She flicked on the sidelight and snatched up a half finished sketch, people always _lie_ scrawled across the top, over a head of hair. She couldn't decide if it was her own hair or Ellie's. Muttering darkly about parents being the root of all evil she slid out of bed and pulled on a Ravens hoodie Nathan had lent her nearly a month ago. He had given up reminding her he wanted it back; it suited her more. There was a pink sky signalling the dawn and she opened the window wide, sitting in the frame comfortably to both admire the view and light a cigarette. She was down to three a day- she refused to give up entirely, no matter what anybody said.

Flicking ash away from her legs she stared out into the sky thinking about Anna. Her mother. In all senses of the word bar the biological Anna had been her mother; the person who read to her when she couldn't sleep, who made endless Halloween costumes and insisted on Peyton taking ballet classes when what she really wanted to do was play soccer- something _nobody_ in this town would ever know. But the ballet had worked out somehow because Peyton had loved it- another secret she would take to the grave- and she had come home every week enchanted by the music, the movement, the pink tutus. And Anna had listened to her stories, marvelled at her twirls and leaps- no matter how inelegant and Peyton had adored her for it. She had followed her mother around the house happily, talking non stop. It had been the two of them against the world before- she sighed and stubbed out the cigarette. Ellie would never be able to replace her. But would Anna have had words of comfort for Peyton about this new turn of events? She scoffed suddenly, could anybody really make you feel better when your mother was a drug addict?

At least, if Anna were alive she would have _something_ to say.

This was far too morbid a way to begin the day and she shook herself. Even Peyton Sawyer had her limits. She tugged on her trainers and grabbed her ipod before jogging downstairs. As she headed for the door she realised she wasn't thinking about either of her mothers anymore, she was thinking about Lucas. He hadn't pushed her for anything but her time and her attention. And he had done it so charmingly, god he had done it so well. The Scott charm had won her over and against her will she had to admit, she was completely in love with him.

* * *

"Lucas, can you clear that table please?"

"Sure Ma, where's Haley?"

"She's out back- we got slammed about half an hour ago and she's making some more scones- we ran out."

"Well that's good right?"

"It's very good- especially now that Dan's the new town Mayor- I have no idea how it's going to affect business but I'm sure as hell he'll try anything to close us down."

"You really think he would?"

"You know what he's capable of Luke."

Lucas swiped up the plates and put them all on the counter and was silent for a second. His day at school had been long, he'd barely had ten minutes with Peyton at lunch before Brooke had sailed into the art room shooing him away and announcing that there was no way she was working over the weekend at the competition. He chuckled to himself as he remembered Peyton pulling a face at him as he left, _traitor_ her green eyes had flashed at him. "Enjoy," he'd mouthed at her. To punish him as he disappeared she'd tilted back on her chair, her cheerleading skirt sliding up revealing endless long legs and he'd swallowed hard.

"Bye Luke," she called out cheerfully, grinning up at him mischievously.

_Damn she was good._

"So despite your father, how was your day?" Karen's words brought him back to the present.

He shrugged, his thoughts still on Peyton's legs and then he met his mother's eyes and blushed, man was he glad she couldn't read minds, "was ok." Resting his elbows on the counter he watched his mother work, "how about yours?"

"Not so bad- Deb dropped by, said to say hello."

He nodded, "cool." There was a silence then he said quietly, "you heard from Uncle Keith today?"

His mother hesitated, wiping down the work service, her eyes fixed carefully on the cloth.

"Ma?"

"No Luke- when I hear from him you'll be the first to know ok?" Her eyes were sad as they met his and then she smiled quickly. "So you ready for the game tomorrow?"

"Of course," he said easily, accepting she didn't want to talk about his uncle and moving on, "we're on fire at the moment."

"And you're cool with your old mother chaperoning this weekend?"

"When has my not being cool with it ever stopped you?"

She flicked him with the cloth and he laughed, straightening up from leaning on the counter as the door opened behind them.

"Ellie, hi," Karen called, "the usual?"

The blonde smiled wearily, "hi Karen, yeah that'd be great please. Lucas, hello."

"Hey Miss Harp, how you doin?" His face was sympathetic as he looked at her.

"I could do with a little bourbon in my coffee but apart from that," she shrugged, "could be worse. How's the basketball going?"

"Great- we're going away this weekend to play."

"And I get to go and embarrass my son in front of his new girlfriend," Karen said grinning wickedly.

Ellie chuckled, "every boy's dream."

"Yeah right," Lucas scoffed before glowering at his mother, "besides she's not..." He hesitated, maybe he was allowed to call her is girlfriend now... Peyton seemed to be warming up to the idea of him actually existing in her life. "She knows my mom isn't cool," he said finally.

"Ha ha," Karen shot at him.

"And who is the lucky girl?" Ellie teased as she leant on the counter next to him.

"She's new this year," Lucas' eyes lit up, "she's really great. Her name's Peyton- Peyton Sawyer."

Ellie went a strange colour and then smiled quickly, "and- and you really like her?"

"He doesn't shut up about her," Karen announced.

"That's really great," Ellie smiled, a brighter smile.

Lucas glowered at Karen, "do you have to tell everyone that comes in here about who I date mom?"

"Oh honey Ellie isn't everyone, she's an old friend."

"Let's not reiterate the _old_ please," Ellie requested.

Lucas reached round the counter and grabbed his bag, "if it helps neither of you look a day over thirty."

"You've got him well trained Karen!"

Karen lifted her cheek for her son to kiss it and twinkled at Ellie, "I keep him in line."

"See you later Ma, good to see you Ellie."

"Take care Lucas," Ellie said softly as he passed. "Hey-" she suddenly as he reached the door.

He turned, "what's up?"

"Your girlfriend-"

"Not my girlfriend _officially_," he corrected.

She rolled her eyes, "either way- Peyton Sawyer- is she a classmate?"

"Uh yeah, she's in my English class, but that's about it, why?"

"And she was in school today? She seemed... Ok?"

"Yeah," Lucas frowned, "why?"

Ellie shrugged, "she wrote in asking about an all ages music night in town- I thought it sounded like a pretty good idea."

"It does sound like a good idea," Karen said thoughtfully, "did you have any suggestions for a venue for her?"

"No," Ellie pulled a face, "no-one's ever keen on running a gig without the audience spending their money on alcohol."

"Hey Ma it sounds like something you could do at Tric," Lucas suggested.

"Maybe, you think she'd be interested in running it?"

Ellie shrugged, "you could give her a call, find out."

"I might just do that, thanks Ellie."

"Sure," Ellie gave a half smile and Lucas felt a weird sensation shoot down his back, like he'd seen that smile somewhere else.... on someone else... someone who had spent several days glued to the street in front of THUD talking about her long lost mother, called _Ellie_... Holy crap he was the DUMBEST blonde EVER.

"Lucas?"

He jumped and realised his mother was looking at him strangely and Ellie had gone, "sorry Ma," he said quickly, "I was somewhere else."

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah uh- Ma?"

"Uh huh?"

"You and Ellie- how long have you known each other?"

Karen chuckled drily, "since Ellie was being thrown out of the gym I was cheering in for smoking."

Lucas stared at her, how had he never put any of this together? "And Ellie- did she have a-"

"Sorry, sorry!" Haley appeared waving a dish cloth and smiling widely, "I thought I'd drown in that sink!" She frowned at her best friend, "dude what's up with you? You look like you've seen a ghost!"

"Yeah," he said weakly, "I mean no I'm fine- I'll see you on the bus Hales- bye ma," and with that he ran out of the door.

Haley shook her head in amusement watching him go, "I will never understand that boy."

"Join the club," Karen laughed.

* * *

A banging on her front door brought Peyton out of her sleepy afternoon daze and she rolled off the sofa, running a hand through her hair shouting at the door to be patient. "Alright Nate alright! Jesus you said you'd be here at five not-" she stopped in surprise when she saw it was the older Scott at the door, not Nathan. She flushed mortified, "I should really check who's on the other side of the door before I open it in future."

Lucas grinned at her slowly, "or I should just stop knocking."

"You angling for a key there Lucas Scott?"

He shrugged, "you offering?"

She raised an eyebrow, "maybe in three years."

"Well that's something," he hesitated and then inclined his head, "you got a second?"

"Depends," she moved to stand immediately in front of him, her eyes meeting his purposefully, "what did you have in mind?"

He could feel himself leaning in, she was so irresistible- talking could wait and god he'd missed her today- suddenly he stopped, "your dad's not home is he?"

She laughed, winding an arm around his neck, "nope, but if it makes you feel safer we can stay on the porch."

"Mmm well- the floor might not be as comfy as your living room's but we could make do," he muttered bending to kiss her.

Peyton went up on her tiptoes and leant into him, wrapping her arms tightly round him as Lucas pulled her closer, his hands clutching at her waist, getting tangled in her vest, stroking her soft back.

"So this is what you came over for?" She asked huskily between kisses.

"Yeah," his voice was ragged and he kissed her again, his fingers playing with her silky blonde hair. He could barely think let alone speak when she was so close.

She laughed and pulled slightly away, her hands playing with the hair at the nape of his neck, "Luke come on- we can do this in an hour on a nice warm bus and ten seconds ago you were pounding down my door- what's up?"

He scowled, leaning into her face as she tilted it away, "you're depriving me?"

"I'll make it up to you," she said rolling her eyes, "come on Lucas Eugene- spill it."

"Actually," he bit his lip, trying to steady himself- he wanted her to talk to him and he needed to be clear headed, "I came to talk about your mom-"

The change was instant as her arms dropped like lead and she pulled away from him, her eyes down. Her voice even sounded different when she spoke, "excuse me?"

He took a step towards her, "Peyton-"

She moved further away from him, her head still bowed, "I think you should go."

"No."

Her green eyes were startled as she looked up at him and then flashed angrily, "you don't think I would talk to you about it if I wanted to?"

"Well why didn't you try me?!"

"Maybe I just don't wanna talk about it," she retorted sulkily.

"Maybe you do."

She opened her mouth to argue back and then changed her mind and fell silent.

He took a breath and tried again, "is Ellie Harp your mom Peyton?"

This time when he closed the distance between them she didn't move, instead she closed her eyes, as though fighting back tears.

"Peyton?"

She exhaled hard, "yeah she is. You already know about my mom though- I told you- I was born to a drug addict, abandoned by the one and the same wonderful being and then lied to for sixteen years before-" she choked for a moment and smiled quickly, "before she came to my doorstep and announced her existence." Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I thought I lost my mom when I was eight, but actually, I lost her a long time before that. And now she's here- existing in Tree Hill every day, seems like my past is finally catching up with me." She attempted a nonchalant shrug and failed miserably, feeling hot tears suddenly fall down her cheeks. Surprised and completely embarrassed she covered her face and turned quickly away, god she hated it when anyone saw her vulnerability, when anyone saw her _cry_. She fluttered a hand behind to imply he should leave and then hunched her shoulders up tightly. Curling away from him in every way.

Instead of clearing his throat or lurching awkwardly around behind her Lucas wordlessly moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her gently. For a second she froze up, panicking but Lucas made a soothing sound that made her feel strangely safe and she leant into him heavily, relaxing finally.

After a minute of sobbing she pulled away and scraped her hair back, smiling bashfully, "sorry."

He shook his head, "don't be sorry."

She gave him another faint smile, "you finally got the full screwed up Peyton Sawyer history, lucky you."

Slowly he reached out a hand to take hers and pulled her down to sit on her porch step, "I'm glad I heard it," he said quietly.

Messing with his fingers, laced with hers, Peyton took a breath, "so how did you guess?"

"My mom and Ellie were friends from high school, she still comes in for lunch- I can't believe I didn't put two and two together sooner."

"Your mom- and my- Ellie, were friends?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "weird right? We might have been friends if- if things had been different." As he cast a sideways glance at her he silently added that he might have ended up being in love with her a long time ago.

"How different things would be," she echoed softly, smiling at him in amusement.

"I was being serious," he protested.

She laughed, "I know, I was agreeing."

He gazed at her for a moment and then swallowed, "so- you and Ellie- you don't talk?"

"We didn't for a really long time," she squinted, "I think it was sixteen years," he shot her a look and she continued, "and then when she turned up at my door step I kind of sent her away and then tried to make up for it and then..." she trailed off.

"What?"

She rubbed her temples, wondering how much he knew and then took a breath, "then I caught her buying drugs."

Lucas stared at her for a moment and then leant forward, touching her arm, "Peyton- Ellie wasn't buying _drugs_ drugs."

Her green eyes looked confused, "what?"

He scrunched up his face, wishing he knew how to shield her from some of the hurt she was about to feel, "Ellie has cancer Peyton."

"She has what?"

"She's been in remission for a couple of years but I think it's back- my mom keeps having these serious and intense conversations with her and I think it's about the cancer being back."

"Wait- hold on- she can't- she just can't!" Peyton stood up sharply and began to pace, "son of a bitch she came to see me because she's sick?! Jesus what a town, what a bitch! How am I supposed to be angry and shut out someone who's sick? Cancer? Are you sure? What the hell?!" She stopped and dropped back down onto the step, head in her hands.

Lucas watched her, struggling for words, but before he could speak she jumped up again.

"And why did she even bother seeking me out?! If she's gonna die- oh my god," she stopped and looked at him, eyes wide, "is she gonna die Luke?"

"I don't know," he said helplessly.

His words didn't seem to have an impact because she continued to rant, "if she's not gonna die then she still has a whole lot of explaining to do- like where the hell has she been all my life?! But man we had such a good talk last week. She's like me Luke-" she glanced at him, smiling briefly, "in so many ways- she's into The Cure and Fleetwood Mac and Bruce Springsteen and so am I and we had pizza and I swear if I have her figure when i'm thirty five i'll be happy but then is it because she's sick? Because I eat too much to be that thin by the time i'm like twenty two, but Ellie didn't look ill- and how did I not know? I mean why didn't she tell me? And if she's gonna die then why couldn't she just have let me live my life in peace?! Shit," she stopped and shot him a desperate look, "i'm the most selfish person on the planet!"

"You are not," he said soothingly, standing up and placing hands firmly on her shoulders, "and you need to take a breath."

"What is the point of getting to know someone if they're only going to be in my life for like, a month?"

"You don't know that- you don't know if she's even ill anymore- and isn't a month something at least?"

Her eyes were suddenly guarded, "trust me- there is no point getting to know someone if you're only going to be seeing them for like a month."

He frowned, "speaking from experience?"

She shrugged, "durr, army brat born and bred- I've been at schools less than a week before."

"It won't be like that with Ellie," he said softly.

"Says who?" She sounded like a petulant child, one who needed assurance.

He smiled at her, pushing her hair out of her eyes, "because you're you- and you'll be brave and suck it up and talk to her- and you'll realise that she is a really amazing person- because she is Peyton. And she might live for a hundred years," she scoffed and he continued, "and if you don't get to know her- you might regret it," he finished gently.

"I-" she couldn't argue that. "I don't wanna lose another parent," she said quietly, "my mom- my dad- _Ellie_..."

"You don't know that she's going anywhere Peyton."

She cocked her head to the side, admiring him suddenly, "you're pretty damn smart sometimes you know?"

He gave her a crooked smile, "I try- it's just to impress you really."

"I knew it."

They stood smiling at one another for a second and then a car horn beeped from the road, "yo Sawyer you ready to go cheer for your supper?"

Peyton snorted as Nathan jumped out of the car and jogged up the drive towards them, "you know I don't dance for my bread Nate."

"Anymore," he corrected.

She thumped his arm, "jerk."

"Bitch," he retorted lightly.

"Don't call my girl that," Lucas said sharply.

Nathan grinned, "I was kidding you know," he snapped his fingers, "a joke? You remember those right Luke?"

"Ha ha. What are you doing here Nathan?"

"Here to pick Sawyer up- you said five right?"

"Yeah," Peyton inclined her head, "i'll get my bag."

"You need a ride?" Nathan glanced at his brother as Peyton disappeared into the hall to grab her cheerleading bag and find some snacks for the bus ride.

"Sure," Lucas shrugged, "so long as you promise to get me there in one piece- can you walk in a straight line?"

Nathan rolled his eyes lazily, "I was drinking long before you loner boy, so if I _were_ under the influence I think i'd be able to handle it. Besides," he met Luke's eyes stonily, "as if i'd ever let Sawyer get in my car if I were even slightly drunk."

"I was kidding," Lucas said holding up his hands, privately thinking his brother was a lot more responsible than he liked to admit in public.

"Ok my boytoys," Peyton sang as she re-appeared, pulling the door shut behind them and waving a bag of chips in the air, "ready to play lots of basketball and pretend like you care if we win a cheerleading competition when all you're really doing is admiring Rachel's legs?"

Nathan glowered at her, "you'r enot funny."

"Girl speaks the truth," Lucas said lightly, swinging an arm over Peyton's shoulder as they moved down the drive towards Nathan's car.

"Girl does not speak the truth," Nathan muttered back.

Peyton chuckled, whatever else happened, she had her Scott brothers to keep her happy.

**So i know Lucas should technically have worked out the Ellie-Peyton connection sooner but he didn't... we'll pretend he's slow :D i hope this was ok, i'm not sure it was long enough but... meh, we'll see. hope you guys liked anyway, big R to show love! **


	15. She Will Be Loved

**A/N: This was supposed to take like, 3 days to produce but I'm afraid my OTH/romantic muse has been missing of late... I'm really sorry about that! But on another note thank you v v much for all the reviews! Oh btw, i'm not sure if there should be warnings for this chapter- there's some swearing.**

**Disclaimer: Oh the things I would change but I can't so I see no point in owning this late in the game LOL. Nothing owned.**

"Don't miss this shot Scott!"

"You can do it twenty three!"

"Ohhh and it's unbelievable! Nathan Scott could have wings on his feet this evening ladies and gentlemen because he is _flying_ across this court. Another beautiful slamdunk from our star player! And the Ravens lead by twelve."

Peyton found herself swept up in the excitement and leapt for joy as she watched her best friend score another two points, "go Nathan!" Watching Nathan play and being immersed in the cheering helped her forget the life she'd left in Tree Hill- she knew it was waiting for her but she inwardly shook herself, trying to forget. God please try to forget.

"A high kick only counts as a high kick if you actually lift your leg above your waist Haley!" Peyton heard their captain's voice down the line; Rachel was truly a different person to the relaxed and languid form she'd been on the bus and was all business leading her team.

"Let's go Ravens!"

Glancing across the court she met Lucas' eye and for a second she held it, smiling faintly and feeling light headed. He bit his tongue lightly at her and then he blinked and looked away. Peyton watched him jog towards Nyon and then turned back to focusing on the court, uh, what were they playing again? Oh yeah, basketball. "Let's go uh- oh yeah Ravens!"

Nathan winked at her as he jogged past, "glad to be here Sawyer?"

"Where else could I possibly wish to be?!"

He laughed and carried on. He was so graceful on the court she wondered how on earth he tripped over so much when they were just walking around. As he passed by Haley they both became strangely fascinated with their shoes and she frowned- uh oh, trouble there.

"Half time!" She was distracted by a referee yelling in her ear and scowled at him as he carried on oblivious.

"Keep in line girls," Rachel suddenly barked, stepping in front of them and pointing at Bevin's sneaker, "Bevin if that lace isn't tied really tightly tomorrow I'll wrap it round your throat ok?"

"But they hurt my feet if they tie really tightly though Rach-" Bevin began.

"I don't care if they make your feet turn blue, tomorrow is the competition and everyone needs to look and _be_ perfect."

"Rach-"

"I mean it! And what the hell is with your breath Grace?"

"Oook," Peyton suddenly looped her arm through Rachel's, "why don't we take a walk down here for a minute? Walk off the evil psycho bitch inside huh?"

"I'm the captain blondie- I'm _supposed_ to be evil psycho bitch this weekend!"

Peyton turned to face her, "Rach, if you keep going the way you are you're not going to have a team to _be_ a psycho bitch to!"

"We're not ready Peyton- we have a major competition tomorrow and we are _so_ not ready."

"We are!"

"We're not!"

"Then we'll practice tonight but at least let them enjoy the rest of the game!"

"Peyton we're cheerleaders- we're not supposed to enjoy the game; we're supposed to cheer for it!"

"Really? Because I thought our main purpose in life was to sleep with as many of the team members as we could."

"Well you're well on your way," Rachel shot at her.

Peyton couldn't help but smirk at her friend's snarkiness, "you got that out of your system now?"

"Maybe... You're fat," she added for good measure.

"I'm thinner than you," Peyton said easily.

"As if. Besides, I don't look like I haven't slept in a week."

"Feel better?"

Rachel scowled at her for a second and then sighed, "_fine_! I'll be quiet until the end of the game."

"Do you promise?"

"What you want? My _blood_?"

"That won't be necessary," Peyton chuckled.

By midnight however, Peyton was more than willing to accept anything that drained Rachel of her life force. They had gone over their routine a thousand times and she still wasn't willing to let them go to bed.

"I can't feel my legs," Haley whispered to Peyton, "I think Rachel chopped them off."

Peyton sniggered, "I bet she keeps them over the mantel piece."

They both started giggling and Rachel stalked over to them, "did I say start talking?"

"No- but I could have sworn you said take five to go get some coffee," Peyton replied sweetly, "otherwise you might have a whole lot of mutinous cheerleaders trying to cut your hair to see if that's your weakness."

"I don't _have_ a weakness Peyton."

"Mine is pie," Haley said wistfully in Peyton's ear.

Peyton sniggered and then fell silent as Rachel glowered at them. "Rach come on- we're dying here!"

Rachel scowled at her and then relented, "fine five minutes." She stormed off in the direction of a wilting Bevin.

"If I close my eyes and click my heels do you think I can get us to Kansas?" Haley muttered as she wandered off in search of coffee. Peyton chuckled and before she could make up her mind about whether or not to ask Haley if she and Nathan were making any progress when someone tapped her shoulder.

She turned round and blinked in surprise, "uh, you got the right cheerleader?"

"Yeah, look," Brooke stared at her hands for a moment and then cleared her throat, "I read your notes about the project and- and I think we should go with your ideas."

Peyton stared at her in complete amazement, "you do?"

Brooke shrugged, "yeah- you're pretty smart- for a blonde-" she added. Peyton folded her arms and raised an eyebrow and Brooke continued awkwardly, "sorry. Look, I'm trying here-"

"It's cool," Peyton cut in suddenly, "I get it- this I mean. It's awkward right?"

"Right," Brooke breathed out and smiled faintly.

"Hey uh thanks for the compliment..."

"No problem." They stared at one another for a second and then Peyton cleared her throat.

"Cool. So, you wanna meet up when we get back and... you know, write something?"

"Yeah," Brooke nodded shortly, "that'd be good."

"Ok. Cool," she said again and caught Rachel's eye from across the stage and glowered at her.

Rachel smirked back and then snapped her fingers, "ok my cheery cheery girls-"

"GIRLS!" Nathan and the rest of the basketball team suddenly burst into the room, saving them from Rachel's continued torture and laughing loudly. "We're celebrating another _fantastic_ win and you ladies are joining us!"

"Excellent," Bevin sang out before diving into Skillz's arms, "hey baby."

"Wassup baby?"

"You guys smell of tequila," Haley said, scrunching up her nose as Fedde and Jake greeted her. She seemed to duck out of Nathan's way as he swayed towards Peyton and Peyton noticed and wondered what was-

"Catch me!" Nathan shouted excitedly, before diving onto Peyton's back and cutting her thoughts short.

"Dude!" She collapsed under his weight and they fell to the floor. "Nathan!" She rolled over and punched him in the chest. He began tickling her mercilessly and she shrieked. "Get off me!" Nathan ignored her and she attempted to kick him off her, "Scott you're dead! Quit it, _**quit**_ it!" She ran out of breath laughing and felt a sweeping relief as wordlessly Lucas lifted his brother up from the floor.

"Sorry," he muttered, "they got a little out of hand celebrating."

"Please," she laughed, taking his hand to help her stand, "I've seen worse."

He smiled at her shyly, his eyes creasing up as he looked at her and she wondered if she'd ever seen something quite so adorable. "So uh- you coming with us to celebrate?"

"No way!" Rachel's screech could be heard from across the room and Lucas and Peyton both jumped in shock. "None of the girls are going anywhere until we _perfect_ this routine!"

"Rachel we've been perfect for a month," Brooke said suddenly- surprising everyone- "can we just get the hell out of here?"

"Oh my god," Peyton muttered, "I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. Rachel's saying no to a party and Brooke is defending us all."

Nathan snorted loudly, coughing and stumbling, grabbing Peyton's shoulder for balance and Rachel narrowed her eyes at the two of them, "fine. _Fine_. If you all want to be puffy eyed and hung over that's your choice. But I swear to god if any of you so much as _trip_ tomorrow morning I will personally sink my nails into-"

"Ok," Peyton cut in, grabbing her hand, "let's go outside shall we? We'll be right back everyone!" She called out over her shoulder. Lucas and Nathan exchanged smirks, it was strange and hilarious watching Peyton boss someone who wasn't either of them around.

Peyton dragged her friend out into the corridor as Rachel cussed and pouted, "we were so close! So damn close and now I'm gonna be the captain that lost her team to tequila and stupid drunk boys!"

"Not the first captain to do so I suspect," Peyton mused, attempting to be soothing.

"This was my year Peyton!" It says something about her stress levels that she even forgets to use the nickname she's picked up for Peyton. And the blonde realizes she really is stressed.

"And it still will be Rach. It's going to be _fine_! Just... Trust the team! They'll be sensible and you know they all want to win too- just let us blow off some steam."

Rachel stopped stalking down the hallway and folded her arms, "us?"

"Yes us! Me, you. Rachel you need a break too- seriously you look like you're about to snap." Peyton raised her eyebrows, "when did you last eat something?"

"I dunno," Rachel shrugged nonchalantly, "breakfast?"

"You had half an apple."

"Then yesterday! What's the big deal about my eating habits here?!"

"Ok you know what? We need go get pizza and then get a few shots of something strong down you to chill the hell out." Peyton said firmly. "Come on."

"But-"

"No buts!"

Peyton led Rachel back inside and looked expectantly at Nathan, "so- what's the plan for getting out?"

* * *

Lucas jogged up the street to catch up with Peyton, "my mom is gonna be so pissed if she finds out we sneaked out on her."

She chuckled and elbowed him teasingly, "it's so cute that you're worried about that." She turned to squint at him, "actually did I say cute? I meant totally dork like."

"Shut up," he muttered darkly, throwing an arm over her shoulder casually. "I don't even know why I like you sometimes."

"Oh please- I'm hot stuff these days; haven't you heard?"

He grinned, "no-one told me."

"Ha! _Thanks_."

"You know I didn't mean it," he said suddenly stopping them in the street and cupping her face, kissing her as she pushed him backwards to keep up with the crowd, trying not to laugh. "You're so damn hot..." He was kissing her between words, "hot.. Sexy... stubborn..."

"Stubborn?! I'm not-"

"Shhhh... My best moves are being acted out here..."

"Alright," Nathan suddenly appeared beside them, ignoring the kissing, "we're going in three at a time so as not to draw too much attention- you know the drill." He flicked his eyes at Peyton, who was staring at him, deeply impressed at his ability to act completely sober even whilst swaying slightly and hiccoughing. "You got your ID Sawyer?"

She pulled it out of her back pocket, "you know I always come prepared."

"Awesome- 'kay we're gonna go in like now-" he grabbed her hand, "come on." She followed, glancing behind at Lucas with a look of mild amusement and confusion on her face as Nathan yanked her forward. They were enveloped by _Poker Face_ blaring loudly round the room and Peyton scrunched up her nose; was it a rule that all bars had to play the cheesiest tunes? Nathan was pulling her through the bar with uncharacteristic roughness and she grabbed at his arm to slow him down.

"Nate what's up?!"

"We can't talk here," he shouted back before tripping clumsily over someone's foot and catching at the bar. "We need to talk!"

"Wha-" they stopped, slightly breathless, outside the bathrooms and she stared up at him in concern, "Nate what's up?"

"I uh I did something bad."

"Like joined the army or got a tattoo? Cos there's a serious difference."

He rolled his eyes, forgetting his predicament for a moment, "which would be worse?"

"Durr- the army- tattoos are hot."

"Sure of course you would think that, have you even-"

"I slept with Haley."

She blinked and tried to hide her surprise, attempting to gauge whether she was supposed to smile or tell him he was an idiot- she liked Haley and this could only be a good thing for the guy who'd been pining over her since the minute he and Peyton had met... right? "Ok... And?"

"And I think I fucked things up already Sawyer."

He leant against the wall, slipping for a second and then clutched at the door frame for support. He looked so vulnerable all of a sudden and Peyton touched his shoulder carefully.

"Define fucked up Nate, cos again, there's a serious difference."

He snorted and shook his head, "as in, avoided like the plague afterwards."

She rolled her eyes, "classic Scott Sawyer reflex, run away in a crisis." She frowned, "but dude- I thought this was what you wanted- what you've been spending all this time writing in your diary about... where's the problem?" He sighed and rubbed his knuckles against his forehead painfully and absentmindedly she reached up and pulled his hand away. The music blared in the background as Nathan swayed sideways across the wall. Peyton squinted up at him thinking that weirdly, situations like this were becoming more and more like the norm in Tree Hill. How had she become someone that other people relied on and turned to for advice and for help? She was such a screw up herself, she was a fraud, Peyton Sawyer the complete fraud!! Somehow though, she knew what he was feeling. "Nate," she said softly, "it's ok to be afraid of trusting her again."

"I'm not afraid," he retorted sharply but her green eyes looked at him, completely unconvinced and he leant his head back against the wall scrunching his eyes shut. "Fine, I'm afraid. I'm afraid as hell, happy?"

"No," she said quietly, "I'll be happy when you're happy."

He opened one eye and glanced at her, "you getting sentimental on my ass Sawyer?"

She shrugged awkwardly, "only because you're drunk and won't remember this conversation in the morning."

"I might write it down."

"Do you remember how to hold a pen?"

"Bitch!"

"Jerk!"

For a second they grinned at one another and then suddenly he threw his arms around her, falling against her and she almost lost her balance and laughed in surprise. "Love you Sawyer," he slurred suddenly.

She was more touched by the gesture than she would have ever expected and drew her arms around his back tightly, "you too Scott."

Finally he pulled away, both of them looking at each other bashfully, "so," she managed finally, "chick flick moment over. What are you gonna do about Haley?"

"What do you think I should do?"

"Nate you can't ask me that!"

"Why not?"

"Because I can't make a big decision like this for you."

"Sure you can," he said sulkily.

She rolled her eyes, "ok Nate you want the truth? I think you're an idiot if you don't give the two of you another chance. And I think you'd be a fool to push away someone who so obviously cares about you and is sorry for what she did. This guy Chris Keller can't hold a candle to my best friend," she said firmly.

Nathan scoffed, touched at her words and needing to dial down how much so. "You haven't seen the guy- he's probably your type," he added darkly, "all skinny and emo-like with big blue eyes and he plays crap music- right up your street."

"Actually," she said lightly, eyeing the bar where Lucas was laughing hysterically at something Jake was saying, "I'm less about the emos these days."

"Yeah well I was less about the confusion and more about ignoring everyone before I met you," he muttered crossly, "and now I'm all touchy feely and talking about my feelings all the time."

"Hey the touchy feely stuff is _so_ not my fault- it was already in your system."

He laughed and she pushed him back out into the bar, "hey Sawyer?"

"Yeah?"

"You should take your own advice," she quirked an eyebrow at him and he motioned in Lucas' direction, "don't be a fool and push away someone who so obviously cares about you."

She stared at him incredulously for a second and then searching for a response smiled weakly and said faintly, "girl."

He grinned, "yeah but i'm right."

"Maybe." She waved and watched him disappear into the crowd. Taking a breath she tried to decide what to do next when suddenly Lucas appeared beside her, "you wanna go for a walk?"

She took a last glance over her shoulder to check that Nathan was at least smiling and then nodded shyly, her heart racing, "sure."

* * *

It was cold outside and she shivered involuntarily, wrapping her arms tightly round herself. Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets and they began to walk easily side by side. Peyton could see every laughter line etched around his eyes. The wisdom in his gaze, the warmth and the love- she shivered again, oh god she couldn't even think the word without panicking. But she knew that it was there- she could see the _**love**_ and she hated herself for being so afraid of it.

She took a step away, stopped and lit up a cigarette. "Don't! Don't even say it," she held up a shaky hand as he opened his mouth to reprimand her, "I'm down to like, one a day. This is how much you're altering my life Lucas Scott- I don't even smoke anymore."

"What are you doing right now then?" His voice was soft and he didn't sound disapproving, just, curious and concerned.

"It's a reflex."

"When you don't want somebody getting close to you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, "you trying to psychologise me now?"

"No," he shrugged, stuffing his hands further into his pockets, "I just wanna know what you're thinking Peyton- without the insane walls you put up."

For a second she couldn't think of what to say, he was so annoyingly/adoringly persistent. It would be so much easier if he treated her like some hot chick he just wanted to sleep with- not someone he actually cared about. It would perhaps actually be easier if _she_ thought of him like that- not the chick part- but the rest. She wished fervently that she didn't care so damn much about him.

"You know what it is?" She flicked ash onto the street and leant against the nearest bench. The hotel was behind them and it made her feel safe- like she could run if she needed to.

He tilted his head sideways, waiting for her to speak again.

She took a breath, "no one has ever fought for me before. Before I got here people hardly noticed I was using their oxygen let alone bothered with me. And the ones that did- god they made me feel like such crap."

The words surprised him, hell they surprised her, but she realised as she said them that they were true and that suddenly she'd told him something deeply personal. She'd just dropped herself majorly in it.

"What do you mean- what-"

"I mean, there's no point trying to get to know me Luke. No point trying to get me to let you in and trust because I can't. Maybe I'm broken or something I don't know."

"You're not br-"

"Look _you_ asked," she cut in, "just let me get this out ok?" He fell silent- suitably chastened and she took a breath, "I never let myself need anybody after my mom because, well because no one was ever there to catch me. My dad, my friends- I mean the friends I picked up in different towns, not that they were exactly friends but that's kind of half the point. I wasn't around long enough to befriend anyone or you know," she blushed suddenly as she looked at him and then cleared her throat, "fall for someone... But I get it you know? It's hard enough trying to keep yourself going let alone worrying about the screwed up girl who crawls into class late looking like she's got a god awful hangover and who'd rather sit by herself than join any kind of pep club. So, I get it. I'm not worth it. I'm like some whining, needy, annoying emo and I hate that. And if nobody asks then nobody finds out right? Nobody has to know that I'm pathetic."

"Peyton-"

She ignored his protests and continued, staring at the spot she'd picked just in front of his feet, "I mean look what I did here- I practically bit your head off the first time you ever tried to help, you tried to be nice to me and now for your troubles you've got a messed up wreck on your hands. You're probably wishing you'd stuck with the pretty cheerleader who doesn't have any issues bigger than who's turn it is to organise the prom meeting. And I don't blame you. I really wouldn't think any less of you if you ran a thousand miles in the opposite direction to me."

"I'm not going-"

"And you can try and tell me differently Luke, you can look me in the eyes and tell me I'm stupid for feeling this way, and wrong and you can try and change it but you can't. You can't change me! I'm not worth the fight. I-"

"Enough," he suddenly cut in, his voice harsh, "enough Peyton. Stop it!" His eyes were wide and serious and she felt her breath catch.

She blinked hard and realised that at some point she'd dropped her cigarette and stamped on it. The wind hit her cheeks hard and they felt cold and wet- shit was she crying? She wiped a hand across her face angrily. Angry at herself and ready for Lucas to say he's heard all he needs to hear, that she's a complete mess, that they're done. That after finally getting her to bare her soul it's too much for him.

He took a step towards her to close the distance between them and grabbed her shoulders, "Peyton look at me." Slowly, she lifted her face to hold his steady gaze, dreading the moment. "You are worth it to me," he said fiercely. "And I'm gonna fight for you until- until I don't have any breath left if that's what it takes to make you believe it. God Peyton can't you see that? Can't you look past all the crap that's happened before me? Before this? This is _now_- you're here and you have people in your life who care about you. Maybe it's never happened before and yeah, yeah that sucks but it's over. So get over it." His voice is harsher than he meant it to sound and he stopped and took a breath, "you have _**me**_. For god's sake Peyton- don't you get it? I don't have some weird need to fix you or break you or whatever you think i'm gonna do. I think you're perfect as you are- I- dammit- I _love_ you Peyton."

It's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to her. Even if he _was_ practically shouting at her she somehow feels like it was the perfect way he could have said it. Her throat had constricted and she could barely breathe and he doesn't help the situation by suddenly kissing her passionately. There's no stopping and thinking needed. He pulled her close, his arms tightly wrapped round her waist, one hand trailing through her hair. She can almost feel him trying to pass the love through his lips to hers. She's never said those words to anyone- they're precious and something she's never allowed herself to do, let alone say and now it's all she can do to stop herself saying them.

She pulled away, flustered. Shit is she going to say them too? It's too much, too fast, _impossible_. But is it? God she's confused. The things he's said and everything he's done for her- the way he looks at her- the hands clinging to her hips tightly- hell she loves everything about this guy.

Crap. She's monumentally screwed.

His eyes searched her face quickly, trying to gauge how she'd taken his confession and he swallowed suddenly panicking. _Shit_. He hadn't meant to shout all that at her. Sure he knew the first time he was going to say it he wasn't exactly planning on standing underneath her window holding up a radio playing '_23' _by Jimmy Eat World- that would definitely freak her out- but he hadn't planned to say it out on the street, outside a hotel, wearing sweats, with people wondering past, staring at the two teenagers having an angsty showdown.

For a minute she stayed silent. Another minute passed and finally he spoke, "Christ please say something. I'm- I'm sorry I yelled at you Peyton."

"Don't be," she said shortly. But already he could see she was going to run and before he could stop her she backed away across the street to the hotel, "I gotta go." She practically tripped up the steps inside and he felt awful watching her go. She had so much crap to deal with, Ellie, her dad, shit Ellie's got cancer for god's sake, what the hell was wrong with him?!

He turned away to stare at the road for a moment, kicking at an empty can. God couldn't he have waited and written down his damn feelings later?! He's a writer dammit he should have kept it for some epic chapter not blurted it out at her in the street! He loves her. He knows that more than anything. If he thought he'd been in love before... This is completely different. Everything about her is different to anything he's ever known. The way when no-one else is looking she'll smile at him and look so serene it's almost angelic. The frown she gets when she's reading or concentrating. The flash in her eyes when she's about to shoot him down in class that he absolutely _adores_. Her insistence on using sarcasm 97% of the time. The fact that she knows who Clark Kent is. The way she looks after Rachel despite the redhead's ability to push people away in such a similar way to Peyton- she sees something in Rachel and that makes him love her all the more for it. The fact that even though she seems to eat all the ice cream in Tree Hill she still somehow has the most perfect legs he's ever seen. The way she drives her car far too fast but he never feels unsfe with her. It's weird but _she_ makes _him_ feel safe. Like he can tell her anything. Hell he has told her things, things Haley doesn't even know. And now he's gone and overshared. Majorly. He tipped his head back and sighed. He really didn't feel like going back to the bar- he might as well go torture himself inside. He twisted round and stopped short in surprise as he realised Peyton was still standing on the steps, twisting her hands nervously. She looked almost like she was being strangled. He felt a smile twitch across his face and then stamped down on it suddenly panicking- was she going to break up with him? Now? In the street? He wasn't sure he'd blame her but god he doesn't want it to happen. Peyton sucked in a breath as she stared down at him and he took a step towards her.

"Peyton-"

She looked like a rabbit caught in headlights and he bit his lip, his knees _actually_ weak. Peyton swallowed and then smiled suddenly, her voice almost a whisper, "I love you too."


	16. These Sparks We Buried So Long Ago

**A/N: Time capsule time, and it goes down a little differently, obviously, i'm kind of veering way off course from the original storylines here but bear with me!**

**Disclaimer: The guest stars I would have had if I owned... let's just say that Peyton would have had a really hot hook up in a 1967 Chevy Impala with a seriously hot hunter that dropped through town to rid the world of some random ghost... but i don't own so there was no Dean Winchester hotness on OTH. but a girl can dream.**

_So you wanna know what things were like fifty years ago? Well the truth is, there's not a single person in this place worth remembering in fifty years. So don't believe any of the other crap you're hearing, everyone at Tree Hill High is a liar._

Peyton arrived at school the day after her big confession feeling weirdly content. The later hours of Sunday had passed in a blur of high kicks, smiling until her teeth hurt and cheering like she _believed_ it. Lucas and Nathan had sat in the stands laughing like idiots and clapping for them, whistling loudly. And then she had stood, flushed with excitement next to Rachel as her friend lifted a trophy triumphantly above them, "_suck on that Pontiac!_" Rachel had yelled out delightedly. Of course afterwards there had been a whole lot of ohmygodwhatamidoing's?! before she got on the bus but once she'd seen Lucas sitting at the back waiting for her she'd almost immediately forgotten her previous panic and she had sat happily with him all the way home. And she was still happy twenty four hours later. Weird. She was almost waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"Peyton, hey," Haley was approaching her and smiled lightly.

Peyton grinned at her, "how's it going Haley?"

Somewhere between meeting Jake's daughter and surviving Rachel's midnight torture Haley and Peyton had fallen into an easy friendship. They were both sarcastic and sharp when they wanted to be but could also show great affection for their friends and recognised kindred spirits in one another. It was complicated, of course it was; what with Haley being married to Peyton's best friend and Peyton being completely in love with Haley's, but somehow they'd skipped over the potentially awkward obstacles and were quickly becoming firm friends.

"You hear about Jimmy Eat World coming to town?"

Peyton's eyes lit up, "dude I know! I was talking to- uh- someone over at THUD magazine about getting some serious music going down here and the next thing I know JEW are playing?! It's so freaking awesome."

"Do you know the venue?"

"Nah- heard it's good though- somewhere called Tric, is it?"

Haley nodded, "Karen runs it- hey you know if you're interested I bet Karen would be cool with you working for the night, you know, at the bar, backstage...."

Peyton gripped Haley's arm tightly, "are you kidding me?! Oh my god Haley I would- well I'd love you forever if you could. Really?"

"Sure! But maybe you could just do me a favour and run up some really cool flyers or something for the advertising- I really don't need the other half of Nathan and Peyton pining after me forever."

They both laughed and Peyton pushed open the door to let Haley through and followed her into the corridor. She almost bumped into her as Haley stopped short, "what the-" and then glanced up to see what Haley was staring at.

_She's the only person who gets me. She gets that I don't wanna talk all the time or that I don't need someone watching over me twenty four seven. That I just need space. She- man when we broke up I never thought I'd get over it but then I met Haley... funny how things work out you know... you end up alone no matter what you do. Marriage... it's a lie. I swear to god don't ever fall in love. I've done it twice and both times... I got burned. Look honestly, find something you love not __**someone**__ and focus on it. Let it drive you, be the best at it- and never look back. At least that's my plan, get the hell out of Tree Hill and never look back. Haley, if you ever see this, I'm moving on and you and this crappy ass town can go to hell._

Nathan's surly and slightly hung over face glared down at them from the school television hanging in the corridor and Peyton felt her jaw drop to the floor. Before she could say anything Haley dropped the books she'd been carrying and fled back towards the parking lot. "Haley-" Peyton attempted to call after her but knew it was pointless following right now. She knew if the most personal and intimate insecurities about herself had just been publically voiced she'd need a minute alone. Or possibly a lifetime but Haley seemed slightly more well adjusted than Peyton was so maybe she'd only need a minute. She bent down to pick up the books and her head flicked back up in surprise when Jake appeared on the screen smiling serenely. What the hell was this?

_So what can I tell y'all that will help you wade your way through high school? Basically, there are three things you need to know; keep your head up and if you're raising a kid- make sure you got people like Brooke Davis and Coach Duram on your side. The man has been so supportive, so much more than a coach. And Brooke- she's been there right from the start helping me, being there for me, doing so much more than you could ever want from a friend... Y'all probably know her as someone changing the world and I'll tell you- she was amazing right back here in Tree Hill. She's... well she's on of a kind. I bet you still have those in fifty years. The one girl that makes coming into a place like Tree Hill High so worth it. And don't regret anything- my little girl is the light of my life and I would never have done things differently. _

Peyton glanced down the hall to where Jake was half watching with a mixture of pride about his daughter and confusion about why the hell this tape was playing etched on his face. She moved over to him, "you know what this is?"

He shifted to look at her, leaning against the locker, his eyes wide, "sure, Peyton this is a time capsule we recorded last year- no-one was supposed to see what was in this for fifty years."

She stared at him incredulously, "that doesn't sound good."

"It's not," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "for one," he tried to crack a smile, "I'm pretty sure no-one needed to hear about me crushing out on Brooke Davis."

Peyton grinned, trying to lighten the mood, "Brooke Davis and you, who'd have thought?"

"No-one," he said wistfully, "that was kind of the point." He gave her a small smile before backing down the corridor as a new voice began. The name Lucas caught her attention and she looked up in surprise; a girl she didn't recognise was smiling into the camera dreamily.

_Lucas has been my rock this year. My best friend in a way. If you still have strong connections like we do in high school in fifty years- don't take them for granted because if you ever lose them... it's the worst thing in the world. And I've been so lucky to have Lucas- he accepted me no matter who I was. Plus, he's a fox...But seriously, cliques in school and who dates who and what clothes we wear mean nothing when you strip it all away, be who you are, no matter who puts you down for it. Stand up for what you want for __**you**__, even if you lose people along the way; it's how you learn who your real friends are and who you really want to be._

Oh _hell_ no.

Lucas' locker door was slammed shut suddenly and he snapped his head down from standing staring up at the school television wordlessly to look into his girlfriend's eyes. "Peyton heyy-"

"Who was that?"

"Who?" He asked innocently, staring at her with carefully blank eyes.

She narrowed her own eyes and then clutched her hands together, "Lucas has been my rock this year," she simpered, "we have _such_ a connection..." She dropped her arms and raised an eyebrow, "anything you wanna tell me?" It was bizzare having a conversation with the voices of her classmates chatting blithely about their hopes and dreams and favourite pie flavours overhead. Principal Turner was running round trying to prevent panic but it didn't seem to be working and the hysterical atmosphere only pissed Peyton off further.

"Umm, that was someone being nice about me... I thought you'd be pleased to hear I've always been this good and kind," Lucas kinked an eyebrow at her, "that although you do tend to bring out the hero complex in me just that little bit more often I was always the kind of guy that rescued kittens from trees and helped old ladies across the street- part of my charm babe."

He bent to kiss her but she wasn't buying what he was saying and ducked, "Luke- that girl spent a good five minutes rambling about how wonderful you were- does she still go here?"

"N-no, but would it matter if she did?"

"I don't know- how many girls do you have gushing about you like that on tape?!"

"Umm- a few?"

"Luke!"

"Wow," he grinned, a wicked glint in his eye, "I didn't know telling me you loved me would make you all jealous like this- you should have said it a long time ago-" he kinked an eyebrow, "it's very sexy."

"Drop dead," she huffed crossly, storming across the corridor to her own locker.

"Peyton," he said laughing and following, leaning casually next to her. She didn't look at him and he rolled his eyes, "Peyton come on! Look, her name is Anna- we were just friends! She left last year."

"Why? D'you break her heart or something and she just couldn't stand to look into your foxy eyes for another second?"

"Foxy-" he stopped and thought better about making a smug comment on her opinion of his eyes. He knew she'd never admit it but he could hear the vulnerability and the panic that edged into her voice- she was thinking it would happen to her. "Peyton," he said softly, forgetting to mock her, "Anna was not interested in me like that- trust me. And I _really_ wasn't into her."

"No, you were into _Brooke_ right?"

"I-" he hesitated and then raised an eyebrow, "is there a way out of this conversation in which I don't die or at least lose a limb?"

"Probably not."

"Peyton I can't help that Anna said those things and I really can't help that I fell for someone before I met you but I did! I don't have feelings for her now!"

"For who?"

"For any of them! And Anna's long gone now but even if she'd still been here when you arrived I was hooked the second you walked into that classroom- there was no way anyone else stood a chance." Peyton could feel herself giving in as she looked up at him, a smile twitching on her lips.

"Really?"

"_Lucas Scott and I go out at the weekends to this place called Ike's and he does this really awesome thing with his tongue where he licks my neck and then does this twisty thing-" _Bevin's voice sang out down the corridor.

Peyton turned from staring open mouthed up at the television and met Lucas' eye; he pulled an apologetic face in return, "ok _that's_ not what you think! She's talking about doing shots and it was Nathan that did that not me!"

"_Sure_," she closed her own locker sharply, "is there any girl in our year you haven't had a thing with?" He hesitated and she widened her eyes incredulously, "are you serious?!"

"No wait Peyton I'm kidding- god somebody shut that damn television off," he muttered crossly.

"Why is there more I should know?! Brooke, Rachel, some chick called Anna, Nikki- there's more?!"

"_Yes_-" her eyes widened at his answer and he could have laughed at the ridiculousness of this entire situation if he wasn't in so much trouble- god why was he in trouble again? Oh yeah, too many girlfriends- "I mean no not like that god wait-" but she was already off down the hall. "Lord," he growled, "we should have stayed on that damn street corner." He jogged to catch up with her.

"Peyton I wasn't like that," he said quickly, walking backwards to talk to her, "I just had a lot of girl- _friends_. And how do you know about Nikki?"

"Nathan warned me that we shouldn't start sleeping together until you'd been checked for STD's cause of some skank you screwed last year," she snapped and tried to push past him. "I thought he was joking."

"Look Peyton stop for a second," he could feel frustration bubbling up and he slammed a hand out against the nearest locker to stop her walking past him again. He took a breath, "who I've dated and who I've slept- ahem uh, fooled around with in the past isn't important! It isn't relevant anymore!"

"It is when it's right up in my face!"

"So? if I were at your last school or one before are you saying I wouldn't occasionally run into one of your ex- boyfriends?"

"No! Yes. Maybe. But that's not the point! I have to see them every day and you don't!"

"Just because I see them doesn't mean I'm interested anymore. I don't think about them now and I sure as hell don't wish I was with any of them instead of you- even with your insane mood swings and bad taste in 80's rock music."

"I do not have-"

"Yes, you do," he cut in firmly. "But I don't care. Now can we please just pretend none of those confessions just happened and go back to arguing over stupid stuff like Shakespeare?"

"Shakespeare isn't stupid-"

"I didn't mean literally!"

They both fell silent as they suddenly recognised the voice above them again. Rachel was sitting examining her nails looking younger- and so much more vulnerable than the visibly hardened girl Peyton knew today.

_I kind of don't see the point of confessing my deepest darkest secrets on this thing considering that when you see this I'll be old and fat and it won't matter in fifty years but what the hell. If you have something in your life that makes you happy, hold on to it. Don't let it scare you off. We're all here for such a short time and it's scary as hell but don't let it get to you. Fight for it. Don't... don't do what I did. You know... there's this one person who gets me. We- we have this connection sort of thing goin' on and damn if he doesn't drive me crazy but also, he- he was the only guy that ever really **saw** me... And I ran like hell in the opposite direction to him because well, i'm not used to dealing with anything that big. I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose it. I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you ever get to feel what I'm feeling right now, you're screwed. But don't be a chicken, hold on and get through it and you'll be a better person for it. You won't lose the thing that makes you happy._

"I don't think we can pretend that didn't happen," Peyton said quietly and Lucas turned to look at her, eyes incredulous.

"Did you know?"

"I definitely didn't know _that_ much. I gotta go," Peyton muttered, slinking under his arm before he could object.

_I'm having trouble adjusting to a Tree Hill without my best friend- she was the only person who really got me. We had our own little world goin' on and this year- I really needed that world. I lost myself and now I'm trying so hard to find the right path... and it's not just for me now. It's for Nathan too. Having a little brother that I suddenly care about is so damn weird! And I wanna be there for him because that's what you do. My family- my mom and my uncle and my brother and my best friend- they're the most important thing in the world to me. And I have to be strong for them. All that remains to be done is break us free from my father... both my worlds would be better places without him._

Lucas glanced up from watching her disappear down the hall and stared at the old version of himself grimacing, he still hadn't rid the world of Dan Scott. But then instead both his worlds had been thoroughly brightened by the arrival of Peyton Sawyer. Now if he could just get _her_ to believe that...

* * *

"This day could officially get no worse and we're only three minutes in," Rachel slammed her locker and began to stride down the corridor- Peyton and Bevin attempting to keep up.

"Could be worse red-"

"How?! How could it get any worse than me pouring my heart out about how I felt in regard to Nathan Scott? The whole damn school knows!"

Peyton struggled to find a positive... "Well look on the bright side, at least they know you have a heart now right?"

Rachel glared at her, "I don't want them to know I have a heart."

"Too late." They clattered into history and Rachel immediately sank into the desk at the back making Peyton chuckle to herself.

"It's not funny," Rachel glowered at her, "I have calculus with him next period."

"Hey- he said a whole lot of nice things about you too."

"Yeah well things have changed," Rachel shot back crossly, "we're not the same people anymore."

Peyton raised an eyebrow, you could say that again.

"God I didn't even get five minutes to celebrate the fact we won the tournament. And dammit why today?! It's not like it's my fault I got all soppy about bloody Nathan Scott on some dumbass tape months ago."

Rachel continued to mutter under her breath and Peyton let her. She herself was confused, if the tape wasn't supposed to be released for fifty years, why were they watching it now? "You know where it came from or anything?"

"Uh well- we met when I first transferred here and he was hot-"

"No you idiot I mean the tape!"

"Oh," Rachel scowled, "no. But I swear if I ever get my hands on who released it I'm gonna chop them up into a thousand pieces and then throw those pieces out my window for stray dogs to-"

"Oook change of subject! You hear Jake's confession?"

Rachel's eyes lit up for the first time all morning, "yeah. God I _knew_ he had a thing for her and it was _definitely_ reciprocated. But then Brooke and Lucas," she waved a hand, "you know, happened."

"Yes," Peyton scowled, "I really do know."

"All not well in blondie loves blondie land?"

"Let's just say there were many women in male blondie land before I existed and it's weirding me out."

"Wouldn't it weird you out more if he was some awkward gangly virgin who didn't know what to do with his hands?"

Peyton opened her mouth to snap something back but found Rachel actually had a point. "Just please tell me I know all there is to know about you and Lucas."

Rachel sniggered, "yeah, it was no big deal. He was... enthusiastic but no way near as good as his brother.."

"So there won't be another giant love confession just waiting for me when I step out into the hall?"

"I hate you."

* * *

Nathan was at their usual table in the art room, his head buried in his arms and he didn't look up as Peyton approached him. She nudged his leg with her foot, "you dead Nate?"

He let out a muffled noise to imply otherwise and she sat down, watching him carefully. She was desperate to ask him a million questions about what he'd said in the time capsule, about Rachel, about Haley and about what Lucas had said or even what half the female population had to say about her boyfriend.

"Stop looking at me," Nathan growled, "I'm not gonna have a breakdown or anything; I'm fine."

"Of course you are," she replied easily, resting her legs on the table, "I'd be totally fine too if my heartfelt confession that I sort of once loved Rachel and was all broken hearted about my wife leaving me had just been played to the whole school. Not to mention the fact that I looked like I needed a wash and a _serious_ haircut."

He lifted his head to narrow his eyes at her, "ha ha."

She grinned wickedly and they looked at one another for a second before he dropped his head back down in his arms. He didn't turn away however, contenting himself to just close his eyes, still facing her. "You hear Luke talking about how much he loves me?" he smirked, "knew that kid was soft."

"I heard Lucas say quite a few things," she said crossly, "and I got to hear about a whole new side of him from every other girl in the school."

Nathan sniggered, "you're jealous?"

"No," she shot back, "I'm fine- just like you."

"Yeah but we both know I'm lying."

She shrugged, "I'm not."

"Yeah right. You wanna hear about him and Bevin?"

Peyton shoved his arms off the table and he fell forward laughing. "Nate! God you're such a jerk."

He guffawed back into his arms and glanced at her lazily, "you know you love me."

"Yeah lemme just go announce it on the school TV station and I can officially join the club," she deadpanned.

"Don't joke about it Sawyer," he whined, "I might as well leave school now. Haley's been avoiding me all day and Rachel's treating me like gum she put her Prada boot in."

Peyton raised an eyebrow, "she is? And you know Prada?"

"Yeah," he sighed, "it's her way of dealing. And shut up, Rachel made me read like a million of those Vogue thingys back in the day."

She snorted and then sighed as she glanced at him again, "you know you can't hide out here forever Nate. When you said all that shit you weren't in the place you are now- you can explain that to Haley."

"How?!" He sat up suddenly, frustrated, "what, I say oh hey baby know you're tryin' real hard to make our marriage work but uh by the way I'm so screwed up I had feelings for Gattina that I forgot to mention the whole time we were married and also I just dissed the hell out of you and our relationship? Feel like making me a pie now sweetie?" He raised his eyebrows, "yeah Sawyer, that'd go down well."

Peyton blinked in confusion, "Nate-"

There was a clattering at the far end of the room and Nathan groaned and rolled his eyes, "joy, it's your stalker."

Lucas sighed loudly and closed the door, "do you have to call me that every time I come in here? Cos actually you come here more than I do so technically, doesn't that make _you_ Peyton's stalker?"

"I don't have one of her drawings taped up in my locker," Nathan said smirking as he stood up, the desperate look in his eye gone and replaced by an almost too bright veneer. "And that makes me the normal best friend and you the weird creepy stalker." He clapped his brother on the shoulder and then ruffled his hair before turning back to the table to grin at his best friend, "later Sawyer- don't forget to record that tape saying you love me!"

She waved a hand, half wishing they could finish their conversation and half distracted by the idea that Lucas had kept one of her sketches. They looked at one another wordlessly now and Lucas shoved his hands in his pockets nervously, determined not to wilt under her gaze. She folded her arms in front of her chest, easily a pro at this particular game and finally Lucas cracked, "so you gonna be mad at me forever?"

"Probably." For a second she kept a straight face and then curiosity won over and she blurted out, "so you have one of my sketches?"

He shrugged casually, "maybe."

"You didn't climb in my window and steal it while I was sleeping or anything did you?"

He laughed suddenly, the tension gone and sat down next to her, pulling her legs over his own. "You dropped it a while back and I noticed it and-" he could feel a hot sensation crawling up his neck as he began to blush, "I dunno," he said finally, "I guess I liked it."

He had expected her to mock him mercilessly but instead when he looked up her eyes were soft and thoughtful. "What?"

"Just when you think he's out," she said grinning and pulling at his tee shirt to bring him closer, "he gets back in the game."


	17. Disintegration

**A/N: Um you guys ROCK with all the reviews you're sending me, I really appreciate them! **

**Disclaimer: OMG is it wrong that I'm now totally craving a Peyton/Dean hook up?? Anyone know any good AU fics...? anyhow I still don't own OTH, or SPN, more's the pity...**

_You say that love goes anywhere,_

_In your darkest time, it's just enough to know it's there,_

_When you go I'll let you be,_

_But you're killing everything in me._

English that afternoon was a subdued affair. Principal Turner had called a fire drill and sent everybody outside so that he could cut the power and finally the tape had stopped playing. Not before it could reveal several more damaging confessions including one particularly worrying one from a kid Lucas knew from way back. He had tried finding him at lunch but hadn't been successful and so was now sitting in thoughtful silence. He was not the only one. Nathan was brooding at the back, staring at his bag with his text unopened in front of him. The class was formed by an awkward group of silent teenagers not daring to look at one another and squirming with all the revelations they now had to confront. Who's stupid ass idea had it been to make a damn time capsule anyway?!

Haley appeared, red eyed and wary, not even glancing Nathan's way- a habit she had picked up recently- and sat down at the desk next to Lucas; seeking comfort from her best friend and shooing away Tess who usually sat there. Rachel arrived two minutes later- by mutual and silent agreement she and Haley had chosen not to have _that_ particular discussion and had instead studiously ignored each other all day. The red head also happened to be ignoring Nathan and sat as far away from him as was possible from the next desk over, leaning her body right up against the window sill and staring firmly out of it.

Peyton watched the interactions play out and pressed two fingers to her temple briefly, steeling herself for an afternoon filled with tension. She glanced over to where Lucas was sitting and he smiled at her faintly; she loved that private smile he kept just for her. It made her feel better about the whole damn tape incident. She wished it was as simple for her friends. Fleetingly she wondered if things would have been simpler if she'd stuck to her original plan of not getting to know _anyone;_ but looking over at Lucas again and watching him frown slightly at the book he was reading she knew she didn't care how complicated it got if it meant he was in her life. Still, that didn't stop today from majorly sucking.

Even Miss Francis seemed affected by the mood in school and her arrival was announced with a less than enthusiastic greeting. "Please get into your groups," she said quietly, "I realise that you've all had a very long day so we'll keep this light. There will be no class discussion; just work in your pairs and try to get started on your projects."

There was an almost horrified silence. In a class discussion nobody had to speak unless they wanted to but in pairs people had to make eye contact, had to form words and with the confessions from the tape still burning in the air everybody seemed reluctant to move. Miss Francis clapped her hands and put on her brightest smile, "come on ladies and gentleman this will all be over soon! Let's get moving!"

Slowly chairs were pushed backwards and people got up awkwardly. Brooke picked up her file and stomped over to Peyton's desk, sitting down and slouching low in her seat. They were silent for a second, a battle of the wills over who would speak first and Peyton was nothing, if not good at the silent stand down. She could wait all day if she needed to. Finally Brooke gave in and narrowed her eyes at the blonde, "I suppose you're just _dying_ to say something about Jake and me."

"It's Jake and I," Peyton said lightly, "and it's none of my business what you said on that tape Brooke."

"Oh." Brooke looked taken a back and then frowned. "I- huh."

"Yeah. So you wanna just do this and then we can get outta here and pretend this day didn't happen?"

Brooke stared at her for a second and then lowered her eyes, "yeah, thanks."

Peyton shrugged, "s'ok, so you wanna divide the argument and do half each?"

"Yeah- and I was thinking that we could maybe do some character profiling, unless that's stupid-"

"No that's a great idea!" They smiled faintly at one another for a second and then Peyton smirked, "for what it's worth, Jake? Totally hot."

This time when Brooke smiled it was a real, genuine smile and then she blushed crimson and glanced back down at her book, "yeah he is," she mumbled before pulling out a new sheet of paper. Peyton grinned to herself and then stole a glance in Nathan's direction. It didn't look as comfortable over there; in fact it looked down right frosty.

Rachel and Nathan were doing a damn good impression of an awkward first date. Nathan was staring at his hands and clearing his throat occasionally and Rachel had her arms folded tightly in to her chest glowering at the floor. Peyton felt a rush of sympathy for them both, she knew there was an untapped well of feelings there and she didn't know what the hell they were gonna do about any of them.

"Just so you know," Rachel leant forward suddenly, hissing at Nathan, "I totally hooked up with Chris Keller before he left." Peyton winced, oh Rach, why did she always have to go with the evil hit- you- where- it- hurts comments?

Nathan looked like he'd been stabbed for about half a second and then recovered, his eyes going carefully blank, "yeah well guess what? Girls aren't the only ones who can fake it. You never really worked for me anyway so I guess it was lucky you got taken off my hands a while ago."

Rachel narrowed her eyes, "liar."

"Right back at you," he retorted crossly.

"You're infuriating!"

"It's about damn time I infuriated you woman, you've been driving me crazy for as long as I can remember."

"Don't woman me!"

"I'll call you whatever I please," he shot back loudly.

"Ugh I wish I hadn't even come to school the day that stupid tape was shot; I was clearly still hung over and deluded about you ever being anything like a good guy."

"Yeah well I was permanently drunk back then baby so I guess I was imagining a thing or two myself."

"Don't even flatter yourself thinking your imaginary me would have been interested in you last term," she snapped standing up quickly, "especially after you damn well screwed me over!"

Nathan tossed his chair aside as he stood up to face her, "are you kidding me?! I screwed _you_ over?! You're the one who _literally_ screwed someone else while we were together Rachel- you're the one who-"

"Miss Gattina! Mr Scott!" Miss Francis interrupted them and stalked down the classroom, "this is _English_ period! It is not the time to air your dirty laundry. Please see me after class!"

They both turned to look at her in surprise, breathless, as though they had completely forgotten they were in a classroom full of people. Growling furiously Nathan sat down and folded his arm, staring intently at the desk. Rachel stood completely still, seeming to have lost the ability to speak or move for a second before Peyton reached up and pulled gently on her friend's arm, dragging her back down into her chair where she sat wordlessly, biting her lip hard. There was another silence in the room before the buzz of conversation started up again. Peyton bit her own lip in concern when Haley asked for a bathroom pass twenty seconds later and didn't return.

* * *

"That was down right painful," Peyton exclaimed as she and Lucas finally made their way out of the classroom forty minutes later.

"Mm," he reached down and took her hand, holding it tightly. "I'm kinda glad we got our fighting in early."

She grinned, "who said we're done?"

He made a pained face and then pleaded with his eyes, "oh please say we are."

"It's ok," she reached up to kiss him, "I really don't want you saying anything incriminating like that about me on a tape so I think we can safely say we won't be doing any fighting for a while."

"Wow," he pulled her closer, sliding an arm around her waist, "is Peyton Sawyer implying she's gonna try and go an hour without arguing?"

"Hey! You provoke me!" She pushed at his side and then frowned as Rachel's car screeched past them and headed out of school at a ferocious pace, "shit Luke."

His own face was concerned too and he winced, "they weren't even this bad after they split up."

"Did you speak to Haley?" She felt a flood of worry for her new friend; it must have been hell on earth watching Nathan and Rachel yell at each other in class like that. Especially considering Haley had her own list of reasons for wanting to yell at Nathan. Damn her best friend was in a lot of trouble. She made a mental note to call him later and make sure he didn't do anything stupid with copious amounts of vodka and shotguns.

"Yeah, she won't be in tomorrow," Lucas said glumly, drawing her back to the present. "I think I'll-" whatever he was about to say died on his lips as he glanced across the parking lot and he stopped short. Peyton felt his fingers clench around her waist and then he muttered, "oh my god," and raced across the concrete.

"Luke- what?"

"Keith?!" She watched as Lucas launched himself at a sturdy looking guy leaning on the back of Luke's car and hugged him tightly, laughing incredulously. "Man what are you doing here?!"

Peyton made her way over, stopping to pick up Lucas' abandoned school bag and suddenly felt a weird mix of curiosity and shyness. New people made her nervous; especially ones that Lucas held in such high regard he ran across parking lots yelling their name. She dragged her feet as she neared them, watching Luke's animated expression as he talked excitedly. He was gesturing wildly with his hands while the man next to him watched him with a look of deep affection and care etched into his face. A pair of dark eyes glanced at Peyton as she arrived next to Lucas and the man smiled widely, "you've gotta be Peyton."

She found herself blushing and Lucas slid an arm around her waist beaming, "yeah uncle Keith this is Peyton Sawyer- Peyt, this is my uncle Keith."

Keith smiled again, his eyes crinkling in the corners in a similar way to Luke's and although their facial similarities stopped there she could see the same kindness and warmth that flowed out of Lucas echoed in Keith's face, "it's nice to finally put a face to the name," he said lightly, reaching out his hand.

Peyton smiled up at him, shaking his hand firmly, "right back at you. Luke talks about you a lot."

"No kidding, I was gonna say the same thing to you."

It was Lucas' turn to look embarrassed and he scratched the back of his neck, flashing her a look nervously, "I don't talk about you _all_ the time."

Keith chuckled, "please kid, your emails went from 'Keith I'm so sorry,' to 'Keith where are you,' to 'Keith I gotta tell you about this beautiful girl I met.'"

Lucas blushed and punched his uncle's shoulder lightly, "man you've only been back five minutes and you're already ribbing me."

"It's my job," Keith said seriously.

Peyton grinned, "ahh so you and Nathan share the honour?"

"Who do you think he learnt it all from?" Keith teased but he ruffled Lucas' hair affectionately.

"Gerroff me man," Lucas pushed at him playfully, "seriously though, you back for good now?"

"Course," Keith shrugged casually, "it's where my family is."

"You've got a whole lot of catching up to do," Luke said lightly, "lots of family stuff."

"I don't doubt that with your father," Keith replied drily. "Peyton sweetie, you wanna join us for a coffee?"

Peyton was tempted. She knew about Keith from the stories Lucas had told her and she was dying to get to know the guy- and exactly _what_ Lucas had been saying about her. But she also knew that Lucas and his uncle had a lot to catch up on and she had a majorly stressed out best friend kicking around town. She had to go and see Nathan before she could settle on a nice evening in and she pulled an apologetic face, "ah you know I would really love to, _seriously_. But uh- we kind of had some drama in school today-"

"When is there ever _not_ drama going on at Tree Hill High?" Keith mused, grinning again.

"Apparently never," Peyton laughed, "it's taking some getting used to."

"Don't listen to her Keith- Peyton's normally all about the drama."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "ha _ha_."

He held up his hands, "I'm just kidding. You gonna go see Nathan?"

"Yeah," she looked up at him, hoping he would understand, "I'm kinda worried about him."

"Of course," he said softly, "go deal with my dumbass brother. I'll call you later." He bent to kiss her lightly and she smiled at him quickly.

"It was nice to meet you," she addressed Keith again, "I'm really sorry the meeting was cut short."

Keith shook his head, his eyes warm, "it's not a problem- I think we'll be seeing a lot of one another if you two come as a package deal these days- which is how it is I hear."

Both Lucas and Peyton blushed and Peyton lifted an awkward hand to wave and then headed towards her car. Keith turned to his nephew who was still smiling after the blonde and chuckled, "you got it bad kid."

Lucas cuffed the back of his head, "shut up man! Besides, she loves me too," he declared happily as he slid into the driver's seat.

Keith whistled, "you're a lucky man Lucas Scott."

"I know," he said quietly, glancing up at his uncle, "I'm really glad you're back Keith."

"Me too Luke, me too."

* * *

"Nathan am I gonna have to climb up to your window again? Cos I swear to god I'm not as flexible as I look!" Peyton shouted crossly down the phone from Nathan's back yard. Her best friend's window was open and angry music was blaring out into the evening sky and she nodded in time to the beat absentmindedly whilst holding the phone to her ear. "Seriously Nate get your butt down here and let me in!"

It was a week later and Nathan had been absent from school every day. Now she and Lucas were on their way to the Jimmy Eat World gig and there was no way Peyton was letting Nathan miss it; his musical education _depended_ on it.

"Go 'way," Nathan's voice was muffled and she suspected he was lying face down, his cell phone on the pillow next to him, "'m dead."

She snorted, "you're not dead, you're being a wimp. Come on dude, I'm freezing my ass off out here."

"Buy a coat."

Peyton rolled her eyes and turned back to glance at Lucas who was sitting patiently in the car, leaning out of the window to watch her one sided phone argument with a mix of concern and amusement.

"Alright fine, I'm coming up," she said suddenly.

"Nah Sawyer I'm fine-"

"Shut up Nate. I'm about to climb a tree and I hate you so just be quiet!" She manoeuvred herself up the tree and across onto the garage roof just as Lucas jumped out of the car and jogged over.

"Peyton what d'you think you're doing?! Get down before you break your neck!"

"Relax Luke," she called down laughing, "I've got a lot of practice in breaking and entering."

"That's not funny! Get down!"

Peyton merely blew him a kiss before sliding in through Nathan's open window and jumping on the pile of bedclothes that was her best friend.

"CHRIST!" Nathan rolled over and slammed his hand onto the cd player, effectively silencing it, before turning to stare up at Peyton. "A little warning next time?!"

"I told you I was coming up," she said easily, wrinkling her nose up at the smell, "jesus dude you need to set fire to this place to get the smell out."

"Don't joke about fires in this house," Nathan said darkly, "we're all pyromaniacs."

Peyton rolled her eyes before flinging open his wardrobe door and pulling out a nice black shirt, "put this on Elizabeth Taylor and get your butt downstairs so that me and my boyfriend can actually go on our date and I won't spend the whole time worrying that you're drowning in vodka somewhere."

"I am _not_ Elizabeth Taylor."

"Really? Would you prefer to be Judy Garland?"

"I hate you."

"_Please_, I'm the only person you'd let boss you about like this which actually means you love me so come on- shower, clothes, Jimmy Eat World!"

There was an ominous clap of thunder outside and Nathan glowered at her. "Don't want to go. It's raining," he moaned, attempting to crawl back under the duvet but Peyton was faster and whipped it up into the air.

"Too slow Scott! Now come on- up and at the day! You've had a week of moping and by the looks of it a week of not shaving or showering and you need to rectify all three things."

"Who are you and what have you done with my pessimistic and moody best friend?"

Peyton grinned, "that was my evil twin and I killed her, now shower!"

Five minutes later Peyton slammed the car door and beamed triumphantly at Lucas, "he'll be down soon," she said sweetly.

"You're something else you know that?"

"Yup."

"Don't ever climb a tree like that again ok? I could do without the stress on my heart."

She bit her lip apologetically, "sorry Luke. But it was a last resort- I swear I won't do it again... Unless I get grounded and need to come see you."

"Not even then! I'll do the climbing ok?"

"Ahh a true Romeo for me."

Lucas shuddered, "don't call me that; I know how you feel about _that_ particular couple."

Peyton laughed and leant forwards to kiss him. For a minute they focused on kissing; the rain outside was hitting the roof of the car hard and making Peyton feel cocooned inside, warm and safe with Lucas. She wound an arm tightly round his neck and sighed contentedly.

The back door of the car swung open and Nathan dived inside, "ugh did you have to steam up the windows like that? I didn't know whether or not to brave getting in the damn car; it looks like you're filming porn."

"Nathan!" Peyton chided him.

But Lucas grinned and reached round to pat his brother's leg, "m'sorry dude- my car, totally my prerogative to kiss my girl."

"Next time i'm taking the bus," Nathan muttered darkly.

* * *

The music was beyond fantastic. Peyton had seen Jimmy Eat World before but something about the intimate atmosphere of Tric and the feeling of Luke's strong arms wrapped round her waist made the gig a hundred times better. More than that Lucas actually _knew_ the songs and whenever they moved to the bar to get more drinks they discussed their favourites and how well they'd been performed. Nathan knew next to nothing by JEW but had admitted grudgingly they were less whiney than he'd expected and even seemed to enjoy one or two of the numbers when he didn't look like he was sulking.

Haley was busy delivering drinks and had steadfastly avoided their area, waving hello to Lucas and Peyton and glancing the other way as she saw Nathan come in behind them. Peyton didn't know what to say but fortunately Nathan hadn't been keen on discussing it so she and Lucas had let him brood; at least he'd come out.

"This is my absolute favourite," Peyton shouted up to Lucas as the first chords of _Disintegration_ began.

Lucas shook his head in mock despair, "I can't believe you love this more than _Polaris_."

She grinned, "_Disintegration_ is epic. The music, the lyrics, god doesn't that beat send shivers down your spine?"

"Yeah sure," he laughed, "it just doesn't have the same magic _Polaris_ does when he starts singing- he's so tender with it."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "you're such a girl!"

"Hey come on- you know it's true."

"Nah," she narrowed her eyes at the stage, "I could never love anything more than this; the rawness, the anger and the love all mixed together." She immersed herself back into the music and Lucas watched her contentedly. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed his mom and his uncle laughing and then his mom reach out to touch Keith's arm and Lucas beamed, kissing the top of Peyton's head as he did so.

"You want another drink?" he said quietly in Peyton's ear and she shook her head, mouth moving to the words and eyes closed. "I'll be right back," he kissed her hand quickly before threading through the crowds to where Nathan was leaning against the bar nursing a drink Lucas knew his mom wouldn't approve of.

"Y'alright Nate?"

Nathan shrugged, "I've been better. You and Peyton seem really good though."

"Yeah," Lucas looked at his feet feeling his cheeks heat up, "yeah we are."

"You know if you hurt her I won't have a problem burying your ass right?"

Lucas laughed, "duly noted. But I don't plan on hurting her Nate." He met her brother's eyes steadily, "I love her."

"I know man," Nathan gave him a slow smile, "but sometimes we do crap to the people we love without even meaning to. And she doesn't deserve it. She's been through a lot."

"I know," Lucas felt defensive suddenly and folded his arms across his chest, "I'm not gonna hurt her Nate I swear."

"Good," Nathan took a sip of his drink and inclined his head towards the stage, "so you like this stuff?" He pulled a disdainful face as if to imply he _really_ didn't.

Lucas rolled his eyes, "sometimes I have no idea why you and Peyton are friends."

Nathan grinned and winked at him, "she just couldn't resist my charm."

"Yeah, that must have been it," Lucas said drily, "either that or maybe she was impressed by the fact you seem to be able to long periods of time without showering."

Nathan glowered at him, "bite me."

"Hey don't disrespect your big brother like that," Lucas said laughing. Before Nathan could respond however there was a crash and the sounds of broken glass and they both whirled round.

Just behind them a kid Lucas recognised as Jimmy Edwards was being pummelled to the floor and somehow Haley had got caught up in it and had been sent flying. Nathan was beside her in a flash, picking her up and pulling her away from the crowd immediately. Lucas stepped in quickly and stopped the nearest attacker by pushing him into the wall, hard and holding him there. There was more shouting and he saw Keith diving in and wrestling the other guy off Jimmy before he heard Mouth shout, "Jimmy wait!" And over the last chords of _Disintegration_ he saw Jimmy disappear out of Tric and he let go of the kid he was holding.

"Don't come here again," he snarled, pushing him towards the exit.

"Luke!" Peyton was pushing through the crowds, eyes panicking and finally she stilled as she spotted him and took a breath. He nodded breathlessly at her to let her know he was ok and wordlessly they stood staring at one another as the song ended and Jimmy Eat World thanked the crowd and left the stage with the amps ringing and the crowd cheering. The lights dimmed leaving the room in a new darkness that hadn't been there before.

_Wonder why I'm so caught off guard, when we kiss,_

_I'd rather live my life in regret do this,_

_What happened to the love we both knew, we both chased,_

_Hanging on a cigarette you need me, you burn me, you'll burn me._


	18. All Of Us Are Lost

**A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! I turned 21 last week so I was busy eating cake and yaying for being old. On a more serious writery (oh god I sound so non-official using words like writery and yaying but hey) note irdk about this chapter, it took so long to write because i couldn't get the last bit right and i'm still not happy but... the whole shooting is gonna be more than one chapter anyway so... IDK what i'm saying, my brain is totally frazzled from 20th century Russian constructivism so... i apologise!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own OTH, I'm just playing in Mark's now rather crowded sandbox- who the hell is this Clay character I keep hearing about?! And why is he on OTH? Or more importantly, why is there an OTH universe in existence without LP?!? No no Mark. Get a new job.**

At this moment in time there are six hundred and forty five students at Tree Hill High. One hundred and eleven of them are Peyton's age. Of these one hundred and eleven, seventy four of them are single, most of them happy with it, some of them dealing with unrequited love and some of them just too dazed and confused at being seventeen to even be able to handle any kind of commitment. Thirty of them are in some kind of relationship- undefined, non- exclusive, so annoyingly in love you wanna kill them or like Peyton and Lucas when there's just something *there* and maybe it's not voiced but they would never plan on going home with anybody else. Four of them are married, only two of them contentedly and three of them don't come to school enough for anyone to be able to guess what they get up to on their own time.

Six students are destined to work at the Whitehouse and thirteen will be the next generation of Christian Bales and Sandra Ohs. One of them will change the world of science and one of them will write a song that in years to come makes Peyton smile and sit back and think _"I was there when..." _Sixty one will get married and twenty nine will get divorced. More than half will have children. Several will attempt to write the next great American novel and only one with any success. One goes on to become the next Jeph Loeb and another the protégée of Ridley Scott. Eighty will stay in Tree Hill for the majority of their lives.

When the longest day in history is over and everyone finally goes home two students will leave in body bags, four more will have been shot and all twenty members of Peyton's English class will be excused from writing their mid terms and never be able to sit in their English classroom again. One teacher will be missing from school for the rest of the year and all six hundred and forty five students lives will be changed and scarred forever. The class of 2010 will go on to do many amazing things, all of them will know happiness and all of them will know grief. The grief they carry forever from the school shooting is like a dark and ugly mark buried deep among the emotional scars they grow over the years. Sometimes they can forget about it for days on end... but it is always there. Five of them have physical scars as reminders- two of them from acts of heroism and three from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Many of them, Lucas included, blame themselves to various degrees. No-one is ever really comfortable in school after the shooting and its memory casts a shadow on everyone's final months at Tree Hill High.

* * *

There are three things Peyton Sawyer knows to be true about life. First; is that Tegan and Sara will always be able to put what she is feeling into words far more successfully and eloquently than she will ever be able to... Especially when it is regarding her feelings for one Lucas Scott (see _Underwater_, from 'If It Was You', it says so much more than she can ever say- she's told him to listen to it.) The second is that however much she hates it and resents it, her father will always be right. She will ultimately always do what he tells her to. It's in-built. She might kick out and do absolutely the opposite for all of ten minutes but in the end, he always wins. That's just the way it is.

And the third is that she really doesn't like being shot. At all. And as she gazed up at Lucas' blurring face, his blue eyes dark in concern she decided if there were a fourth thing she were to be certain about, it would be that she really, _really_ loves Lucas Scott. She kind of wished she'd told him more...

* * *

Normally, after a major crisis occurs at a school Peyton's visiting for the day or the week, there's a period of at least a week where it's the only thing people talk about... Whether it's that the really cute assistant coach that was just too good to be true turned out to be dating one of the volleyball players and suddenly he's gone from school and everybody studiously cuts out poor Jenna Green 'cos the only hot thing worth looking at in the place is now missing and it's her fault. Ok so maybe no-one could blame her for falling for that absolutely god-like face- Peyton totally got the attraction but still, he got fired for dating her and the only eye candy left came in the form of the Head Coach who was fifty three and kind of past his best.

...Or like the fight Peyton remembers Christian Palmer and Ryan Soretto having in the lunch quad in Oakland where about a dozen people got involved and several of them broke limbs and got suspended for weeks on end. (It had nothing to do with the fact Peyton was dating both of them by the way).

Whatever happens, the school is always alive with gossip for at least a week, sometimes a month afterwards; before something more interesting takes its place and the only thing to remind you anything out the usual occurred in the first place is the sling Christian Palmer's still wearing or that Jenna Green doesn't sit next to Peyton in first period math anymore- she sits in the corner with her head down.

But here it's different. And not a good different. It's as though the time capsule never ever happened. Nobody mentions it. The tension is so icy Peyton would swear she could actually see her own breath rising in the corridors. People don't look at each other the same way and yet _nobody's_ talking about it. Nobody's talking it out or yelling or fighting. There are no canteen brawls (which Peyton has to admit normally she loves to watch or even join in with), no screaming ex's telling each other what they really felt all that time ago and no friendships falling apart because secretly both parties can't stand one another anymore.

Instead there's a gaping silence and it freaks her out. When she thinks about it, the only two people who seem to have dealt with the fallout in any sort of healthy way are Rachel and Nathan which seems all _kinds_ of twisted and hurts her brain. Rachel and Nathan being sensible? _Not_ that you would know now with the way they've decided to revert back to the norm and ignore one another. Peyton actually misses the days Rachel used to flirt so blatantly with her best friend 'cos then at least they were both happy -or at least not morose and broken like now- and speaking to each other.

God that kid on the time capsule had got to her though. He'd made her think about her own life. Is she one of _those_ cheerleaders now? One of the ones that'll be fat and uncaring at twenty five? Does she have a jock boyfriend who forgets his friends from way back when? Does having certain friends mean she's popular? Does knowing Nathan Scott make her better than someone else who doesn't? Would it help if everyone else knew that Nathan snores really badly and practically cries every time he watches Grey's Anatomy- that whole scene where Izzie was crying on Denny's dead corpse Nathan had a coughing fit to cover up the fact he was blatantly _weeping_. Peyton had laughed her ass off but secretly loved him all the more for it. Would that make him seem less... untouchable? If others knew he's actually normal and a little bit of a romantic? She wonders why playing basketball makes people put him on a pedestal. She wonders why being a cheerleader means you're automatically hot and obeyed by all. She wonders why, after years of fighting it, she seems to have just accepted being one of them. Is she?

She wouldn't trade Nathan and Lucas and Rachel for anything. She knows that just because they happen to be cheerleaders and basketball players doesn't make them any cooler than anybody else and that she likes Rachel the most when she's _not_ wearing the Captain of the cheerleaders face and that Lucas was just as intriguing before she found out he could throw a ball. She actually likes him more when he's _not_ playing because come on! Basketball?! Seriously?! Run some, pass some, put a ball through a hoop, repeat. Fun.

Ultimately she just loves them for who they are not for who others see them to be. But still. Doubts crowd in when someone breaks it down so bluntly.

* * *

Peyton closed her eyes and shivered at the cool early morning air. She didn't often miss places like Texas (first grade, she vaguely remembers a cute guy called Sam running around with her and then sharing his crayons) and Miami (a really cute surfer named Oliver introduced her to Switchfoot before she had to move again) but on cold days like today she longed for the heat of her previous habitats. It was weird; she never thought of any of them as home. That was until she came to Tree Hill... now she didn't know what to think.

She lit a cigarette and slowly surveyed the courtyard. People she knew flitted in between hoards of strangers; students she would probably never get to know purely because you would never know everyone you went to school with. You never could... Mind you, someone at Tree Hill High had gone to pretty serious lengths to try and get everyone inside intimately acquainted and in some ways Peyton knew some of her classmates way too well. For instance; the blonde kid falling off the bench two down from her had shared some gruesome tips on how to skin animals- just in case the class of 2059 didn't get to experience the joys of hunting. Peyton wondered briefly why the hell that guy was so popular.

Peyton looked away grimacing and her eyes fell on a more familiar face heading towards her. She resisted the urge to run and stood up slowly, "Brooke- heyy."

"You know, those things will give you really gross looking skin in less than ten years," Brooke wrinkled her nose at Peyton's cigarette and Peyton grinned.

"Yeah but I don't really mind the whole looking your actual age thing so I think I'll live," she tilted her head curiously, "what's up anyway?"

"Oh-" Brooke pulled a wad of paper out of her bag and handed it to Peyton, "I was wondering if you'd take a look at this for me and tell me what you think?"

Peyton stared at it in surprise, "Brooke this is your English essay-"

"Yeah I know," Brooke cut in, "normally I'd get Hales to check it out but she's kinda got a lot goin' on right now," she pulled a concerned face and Peyton nodded; she could relate.

"Has she said anything?" she asked quietly, biting her lip as she looked at Brooke.

Brooke shook her head and her dark hair rippled over her shoulders. Peyton felt envious; how did she get her hair to stay that frizz free all the damn time?! Did someone follow her around school giving her touch ups between classes? "I think she's just waiting for it all to disappear you know?"

Peyton nodded, "and in the meantime you want me to read this over?"

"Yeah- if you don't mind? Just check it fits up with your stuff and you know, I haven't spelt t-h-e-i-r and t-h-e-r-e wrong all the way through."

Peyton chuckled, "ok."

"So you don't mind?"

"Nah, of course not." She suddenly spotted Rachel moving towards them- dear god was that a beanie hat on her head?!- and raised a hand, "hey over here Broody Dalle wannabe!"

"Bite me," Rachel hissed as she stopped in front of them, "and I would _never_ wear that ridiculous red lipstick Brody deems acceptable to be seen in."

Peyton shrugged, "ok so you're more Courtney Love," she tugged at the hat, "what the hell is this?!"

Rachel snatched it back off her and jammed it back over her hair, "stop it! I'm only in school because I have to pick up a stupid test I have to mark for a kid I was tutoring in Calculus. Then I'm going back to the bar I was in and staying there for another week."

"Rach stop being such a drama queen! At least stay for English," Peyton pleaded, "Bevin is lonely without you. And we all miss you at practice- Brooke isn't nearly as bossy as you- we're all going to get fat without you."

"It's true," Brooke said nodding seriously, "I just haven't got the nagging down."

They both smirked and Rachel glowered at them, "is that supposed to be flattering?"

"I don't know," Peyton grinned, "is it working?"

"Hmmm, kind of," Rachel readjusted her hat and nodded, "ok so maybe I'll come to practice tonight but there is no way I'm going into that English classroom. Ever again," she added darkly.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "Rach come on, if me and Peyton can work on an essay together after- well everything- you and Nathan should be able to get past this."

"It's Peyton and I," Rachel huffed.

"See! You're already correcting our grammar- it's just like old times," Peyton said grinning at her.

"You're relentless!"

"You know it red."

Nathan and Lucas were clambering off the bus from the gym, stretching and looking wiped out. Rachel stopped smiling and pulled her hat down further over her face, hunching up, "I gotta go."

"Rach-" Peyton began but her friend had already stalked away.

"I don't know why she's letting this get to her so badly," Brooke sighed as they watched the red head disappear into school, "normally she's really good at pretending the big stuff isn't happening."

Peyton pulled a face, "I think the big stuff just got... _really_ big, for want of a better explanation."

"Insightful," Brooke smirked as they moved towards the doors.

"Hey, gimme a break," Peyton muttered, "it's early and I haven't had nearly enough coffee."

"Coffee and cigarettes?" Brooke shook her head in exasperation, "your poor skin."

Peyton wrinkled up her nose at her, laughing and then flipped open her locker, "see you in there?"

Brooke nodded and punched the air slowly, "_yaaay_, Shakespeare and the dramatics of the naley slash rathan show."

Peyton almost choked, "the _what_ show?!"

"I'll explain later," Brooke sang over her shoulder before disappearing into the classroom.

She grabbed her books and turned as she noticed Lucas pat his brother's shoulder and then make his way over to her. Nathan waved at her and mouthed a question, "_lunch?"_ And she nodded, beaming, god she was glad he was back in school today.

Lucas smiled as he reached her, tilting his head to one side, "you look very beautiful today you know. You should wear your hair like that more often."

She raised an eyebrow, "what did you do and who with?"

He laughed, "what I can't compliment you anymore?"

"Not more than once a week- i'll get big headed."

"Duly noted- so how are you anyway?"

Before she could answer, smiling up at him there was the sudden sound of bangs and immediately pandemonium broke out in the corridor. Someone knocked into her and she fell against the lockers, Lucas reaching out an arm to steady her as he looked over her shoulder and then back down at her frowning, "you ok?"

"Yeah," she rubbed her elbow looking behind them in confusion, "what the-"

A kid from the year below suddenly pushed past her, fear in his eyes, "god god god god-"

"Move, move!" Someone else was pushing through the now stampede of students and shouting loudly, "everybody move!"

"Run!"

"Oh god get out, get out now-"

People were running, pushing, shoving each other in their panic and Peyton snapped her head round in shock to look up at Lucas, "Luke-"

"It's ok," he said quickly, there was the sound of more bangs and Peyton shivered -she knew that sound- and Lucas grabbed her hand, "come on." She stood, frozen to the spot as the crowd surged around her, "Peyton," Lucas practically barked at her and she blinked suddenly, "_now_!"

He tugged her through the crowd and she could feel her heart racing, thumping against her chest. Students were running into each other, panic etched across their faces. Peyton tried to tell Lucas that she knew what was happening, that they had to get outside like right the hell now, "Luke someone's-"

"Peyt it's ok," he pulled her towards the stairs as the shots got closer and before she could respond that absolutely _none_ of this was ok she felt a weird stinging in the back of her leg as the sounds of shattered glass echoed over the shouting.

She lost her balance and instinctively reached out; Lucas was there to catch her and frowned as he looked down, "Peyt? Come on we gotta- Peyton- what's wrong?"

"Can't... move," she said faintly, attempting to draw in air and failing, panic swirling around her.

Lucas dropped down beside her and covered both of them with his arm as there were more shots, a rise in the volume of the screaming and a door slamming and then nothing but the school fire alarm ringing above them. The corridor was suddenly empty and Peyton tried not to feel overwhelmed by a mix of panic, terror and pain.

"Come on," Lucas pulled her up gently, he still needed to get her out of school, "can you walk?"

She shook her head mutely. She could feel something warm trickling down her leg and wondered why the hell glass would hurt so _damn_ much.

"Here, it's ok," he tugged her through the nearest door, glancing round quickly before pushing a table in front of it, every movement of his body jerky with panic and nerves. He turned to her and tried to look calm, "we can just wait here."

"Luke we shouldn't-"

"It's ok Peyt," he reached out and stroked her face soothingly, "you're ok. Here- let me look at your leg."

Gingerly Peyton twisted so that Lucas could examine the damage and she glanced around what she now saw to be the empty library. Lucas tugged his training tee shirt over his head and wrapped it round her still bleeding leg, "ok, that should help." He cupped her face and peered into her eyes, "can you tell me where you are?"

"Luke," she admonished, "i'm fine! But we shouldn't stay in here."

"We can't move now Peyt- school guidelines state in an emergency such as this get out or if you get stuck, baricade yourself in."

"But-"

"We can't risk it Peyton."

"We don't actually know what's happening Luke."

"I know..."

Peyton looked up at all the different coloured book jackets, reading the titles and then sighed minimally into the silence. There was no sound of hushed whispering, no scratching of pens over paper, the whole library felt de- ok no, definitely no use of that word. Instead she scrunched up next to Lucas. "I don't like it like this," she whispered thickly.

He looked up and then pulled her close, "me neither."

**TBC.**


	19. This Is Our Sundown

**A/N: This took a while I know and I apologise but it was really hard! Killing people off isn't my thing normally lol. Well one of them was easy because I loathe the character but the other one... plus I had difficulty because I didn't want to repeat too much text... anyway, I digress. This chapter will be in two parts, next chapter up when my internet can decide to work for longer than 2 minutes at a time (hopefully tomorrow!) But thank you to everyone who is sticking with me, you're all awesome 3 **

**There is some strong language in this part. **

**Disclaimer: Um, there's so much I wish I owned... Castiel... Dean Winchester... Russell Howard... ok so none of those are relevant and I digress AGAIN! I apologise, I own nothing.**

**Nathan**

Nathan's not a particularly egotistical guy, sure he jokes about being hot and awesome at basketball and he winds Lucas up by pretending Peyton's completely normal for having a secret crush on him (she doesn't but it's just hilarious watching his brother's face screw up in annoyance) but his point is, he's not one of those guys with a giant ego.

His ego is exactly in proportion with the rest of him ok? And Peyton can just shut up if she says otherwise.

The one thing he _is_ pretty proud of himself for however, is being brave. Yeah he's not joining up to go fight overseas any time soon- besides Peyton would never speak to him again if he even _suggested_ joining the army- but he does stand up for himself, and more importantly, he hopes, the people around him. He's the stupid one who steps in to stop fights and ends up getting sucker punched. The one who'd go down swinging for the under dog so long as the cause is right. 'Cos he's Nathan Scott and maybe some people think he's a jerk but he's not, really.

No _really _so shut up Lucas.

So yeah he'd rather be on the good and heroic team and fight the good fight, even if it means he gets hurt in the process. It's difficult to grow up with someone like Dan Scott and not learn to get a back bone really. Especially when it comes to standing up for what's right- how ironic that his dad raised him to do the exact opposite of everything Dan Scott stands for. He'd muse on that more but it's not actually his original point. His _actual_ point is that normally he's pretty brave.

Or he was.

* * *

Nathan entered the classroom grinning, relieved to know that not everything had changed and that his best friend would be here momentarily to have his back. As per usual Haley studiously ignored him as he walked past, her head buried in book and he resisted the urge to whip it up teasingly and demand to know the details of what she's reading- something- _anything_- to get her to talk to him again. Instead he sighed inwardly at his own lack of courage and continued down the aisle to throw himself into the empty desk at the back. Peyton's seat was still unoccupied but to his left he could see Rachel frowning in concentration as she read over some kid's work. He watched her out of the corner of his eye for a moment- it was a rarity to see her look so vulnerable and off guard these days. _Especially_ since the damn tape. He decided to at least try to break the ice once more- to try and be brave because dammit some things are worth fighting for.

"Rachel," he said quietly.

"Leave me alone Nathan." There was no venom in her voice just a quiet plea for peace, "_please_," she added.

"Can't we talk?" There was so much he wanted to say, to explain, to apologise for. Damn he'd screwed this up so badly for all of them. "I miss us talking," he added softly.

She sighed and pushed her paper forward, twisting to rest her chin on her hand as she faced him, "about what?"

He swallowed, crap, he wasn't actually expecting her to say ok... She raised an eyebrow expectantly and he hummed for a minute before trying to crack a smile, "maybe we could start with why you're wearing that ridiculous hat?"

Her face remained stoney and they sat staring at each for a second before she sighed and pulled off the hat, "what do we _really_ have left to talk about?"

"What do _you_ think Rach?!"

She stared at the hat in her hands before saying quietly, "I think we're over and there's no need to go through this again- I said what I said and it's done. We haven't been anything sincere for more than a year."

"But we could be Rach."

"No Nathan- we want different things- you're _married_ and your wife hates me and-" she sighed again and pulled her papers back towards her, jamming her hat back on, "just let it go please?"

"Will that make you happy?"

Before she could answer there was a sudden burst of what Nathan recognised as gunfire and the entire corridor outside erupted in screams.

Miss Francis jumped and looked towards the door, "what on earth?"

There were more shots and she shouted at them all to get under their desks.

Nathan stood up to look outside, Peyton was out there, Lucas too- but he was stopped before he could leave by a furious looking Jimmy Edwards, "Jimmy?" he breathed incredulously.

"Sit down," the boy shoved the gun he was holding at Nathan threateningly and he backed away numbly.

"Jimmy-"

"Back _off_ Scott."

"James-" Miss Francis began but he brandished the gun at her and she widened her eyes in horror.

"Get out!"

"Absolutely not I-"

"I said get out!" He grabbed her forcefully by the arm and threw her out of the room. Nathan could hear her shrieking from outside, "shut up!" And he fired another shot into the corridor before turning back into the classroom.

"Jimmy!" Mouth croaked from where he was crouching at the back of the room, "Jimmy what have you done?"

"Shut up Marvin!" And with that he slammed the door and locked it, "no-one's going anywhere!"

Nathan tumbled back to his chair and as he did so caught Mouth's horrified gaze. His own face probably looked similar. He closed his eyes, this wasn't real, it couldn't possibly be real. All of this was a bad, **bad** dream.

A tiny hand curled around his own and his eyes snapped open to look across at Rachel. She was biting her lip and looked close to tears but she tried to smile at him reassuringly and he squeezed her hand gently.

What was he saying? Oh yeah, normally he's pretty brave.

Way to go on being courageous there Nate.

* * *

**Haley**

Haley had thought the worst experiences she could ever think possible had already happened to her at Tree Hill High. She had thought there would be nothing that could come close to the pain of walking the corridors knowing Nathan would never hold her hand again, being ignored by him endlessly and then watching that tape where he had renounced her and their marriage in front of her entire class. She hadn't thought you could beat being told by a video tape that your husband was still messed up and confused by a red head you loathed and that said red head had been driving you mad all year by flirting with him. It had cut so deep watching Rachel throw long slender legs over Nathan, watching her tease him and flit around like she didn't have a care in the world. It felt pointless to fight it and so she had stood by and watched while her heart broke. Yeah those things were pretty difficult to top in the history of bad things that could happen in school.

She hadn't even considered the possibility that someone other than Nathan could top the list.

Slowly she sat up in her chair, staring at Jimmy Edwards. _Jimmy Edwards_, the kid who used to sit next to her on the River Court bleachers and tease Lucas about his terrible jump shot. The kid who came to her joint tenth birthday party with Lucas and had a cake fight with them. She couldn't believe it.

She couldn't believe _this_.

"This is unbelievable," she heard a kid mutter behind her- Marcus she remembered, her brain taking far longer than normal to connect anything right now. She agreed with him.

"Shut up!" Jimmy snapped at him.

"Jimmy," Mouth whispered again, " Jimmy what are you _doing_?"

"What do you _think_ Mouth? I'm getting my life back."

"By shooting up your _school_?" It was Nathan's voice, hard and angry, but Haley could hear the nervous edge to it- she knew Nathan like she knew the back of her hand, could read him easily even with the distance and she knew that right now he was nervous. She swallowed, silently praying he didn't do anything stupid or say _anything_ that could end up with being carted out of here on a stretcher or _worse_, in a body bag.

"You think I care about this school?" Jimmy sneered at him, his eyes cold.

Nathan was silent and then said quietly, "I don't know what you care about. But I know you don't really wanna be doing this man."

"What do _you_ know about it Nathan? Big shot basketball star Nathan Scott with his wives and his mistresses' and god knows what else, sauntering all round this place like he owns it, you don't know the first thing about me!"

Haley turned in her seat to look at Nathan, her brown eyes pleading with him to be quiet, to just stop talking. He met her eyes for a moment and then minimally nodded, she breathed again.

"I know you Jimmy," Mouth interrupted from the other side of the room. "I _know_ you."

"You did once," Jimmy said in a dark voice, "but that Jimmy's gone." He seemed to stand up straighter suddenly and gestured with the gun, "everyone get on that side of the wall now!"

Haley staggered up and tripped on her own feet to follow Bevin over to the wall. Everyone looked completely shocked, pale faces and horrified eyes met hers and she looked at the floor, unable to stand seeing it.

"What have you got there?" Jimmy snapped at Skillz.

"Woah nothin' Jim," he held up his hands, "you know this aint right man; we're your friends and you got a gun on us?"

"You haven't been my friend for years Skillz- you're almost as bad as my so called best friend Mouth."

"Jimmy," Mouth pleaded again, "please-"

"Shut up!"

Haley flinched and closed her eyes, this was quite possibly the worst day of her life and she hadn't even _spoken_ to Nathan.

* * *

**Peyton**

Peyton closed her eyes to block out the blurring colours of the books on the shelf opposite her. It felt like time was flashing by but every time she opened her eyes the hands on the clock had barely moved. She took a shuddering breath and looked down at her leg.

"Oh man, those were my favourite jeans," she said scowling as she took in the dark stain of blood making its way across the denim.

Lucas shifted beside her and glanced at her leg and then up at her face- he had a 'this isn't time to be funny' expression on his face and she silently pleaded with him, she needed him to let her be cavalier about this. He seemed to relent and gave her a tiny smile, "I never really thought they did much for you actually- prefer you in skirts."

She snorted, "I'm sure you'll change your mind if I end up with a big ass scar."

_If_ they got out of here. _If_ they lived.

He slipped an arm around her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, "I gotta be honest with you Peyt, but you've got kinda chicken legs anyway so a scar won't really be that much worse."

She shoved his side, "hey!"

There was a muffled sound of a gun shot from somewhere and they both flinched, instinctively Peyton hunched closer to Lucas.

"Shit," he breathed after what felt like hours and she realised she'd had her eyes scrunched tightly shut and opened them quickly.

"Luke what if- what if someone finds us?"

"They won't," he said firmly.

"You don't know that."

"I blocked the door Peyt- the best thing we can do is wait this out- to wait for someone in charge to come get us."

She winced as she moved her leg and sighed, "I knew I should have started carrying painkillers around in my bag."

There was a silence while Lucas gingerly examined the wound again and then sat back, grabbing her hand tightly and closing his eyes.

"Luke?" He wouldn't look at her. She reached out and touched his face gently, "Lucas?"

"I don't understand," he whispered, "I don't know- who would do something like this?"

Peyton bit her lip and then curled closer to him, breathing in sharply as pain coursed through her leg once more. "Someone with no hope left I guess, someone angry, hurt, humiliated- someone with no compassion or affection for anyone here..." She felt awful just imagining pain like that. "Can you think of many kids like that at school?"

His eyes were pained as he opened them to look at her, "maybe. But I don't know everyone in our year, let alone the whole school, to make a proper judgement-" she almost rolled her eyes, trust Lucas to be logical about _this_. "I mean you'd have to be _so_ desperate."

"Maybe they were." She swallowed, thinking back over how many times she'd felt alone and distressed... But she'd never felt like there was no other way out or so angry at the world she could actually walk into one of her hundreds (ok dozens) of schools and- she stopped and shook her head, saying "I think I might need a plaster or something," in order to dissipate the tension she could feel growing in the room.

Lucas nodded, swallowing hard before slipping off his shirt, "here- I'll just-" she let out a yelp as he took off the make shift bandage he'd made from a load of tissue they'd found and he pulled away, "god sorry Peyt, I don't-"

"No no it's ok, just," she took a breath, "I'm ok, go on, thanks."

She wondered what it would be like if they had to wait here long. Would the pain get worse? Would she pass out- or worse, be conscious right until the end? She wasn't stupid- she suspected when Lucas had looked at her leg it had not been glass he'd seen- even after only a few short months, _too_ few, god not enough months together- why hadn't they had more time? She knew his facial expressions and she had seen panic streak across his eyes as he'd examined her wound. She'd seen his face falter like it was doing now as his hands slipped around her leg; he looked so completely freaked out she felt _bad_ for getting hurt. It would almost be hilarious if it weren't so damn painful.

But she didn't want him to worry. She didn't want him to panic.

She didn't want him to be alone and desperate. She had to stay awake.

* * *

**Lucas**

Lucas was well aware that normally he's the kind of guy you call in a crisis. He's pretty good at keeping calm- knowing what to do. He's good at keeping his shit together and all that. And in the past it's worked out pretty well- he's always been able to look after his best friend and his mom and his other friends, hell even his little brother as he got older. Basically, Lucas is the go to guy when you need help. He's the one with a first aid kit in his truck and every single emergency number on his cell. He's not afraid of ploughing in to deal with his drunken brother or his broken best friend- in fact he's _good_ at dealing with them. He listens, he comes up with solutions, he tries to help. He's always trying to help- to keep focused on what needs to be done.

And then he met Peyton and every single clear headed thought he'd ever had went out of his head.

He'd spent the last few months running around in the rain, shouting out in class, creating more problems than fixing them and now he was completely unprepared the one time he needed to be _awesome_ at fixing a crisis. Because this was a crisis of epic proportions. He had no idea what was happening outside but he prayed to god his brother and Haley and everyone else was ok because he couldn't go deal with that right now. Instead he had to deal with what appeared to be a bullet in his girlfriend's leg. He had to deal with the possibility that he couldn't actually fix this. He was completely unprepared.

Just like he had been _completely_ unprepared for Peyton Sawyer and the effect she would have on him.

And now? Now she was hurt and he couldn't fix it. It was killing him watching her beautiful green eyes cloud over in pain and he swallowed hard as he wrapped his shirt around her leg. He cursed himself for not being better equipped for handling this.

His heart was thumping as he worked silently- trying not to freak her out. Dear god who the _fuck_ brings a gun to school and actually shoots people with it?! Good people! Peyton had never done _anything_ wrong, no-one at Tree Hill High deserved to have their lives ruined of course but she was... she was his to protect and- and he hadn't been able to. He felt anger swirl in his chest and he bit down on the inside of his cheek, trying to be as gentle as possible with her leg.

"Bet your glad you came to Tree Hill now," he muttered bitterly.

"Course I am," she said, but she sounded breathless and it made him feel worse.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Luke, come _on_!"

"No god Peyton I mean it- if you hadn't been here-"

"Then we wouldn't have met!"

"But you got _shot_ Peyt."

"I cannot _believe_ you're arguing... with... me, about this," she finished finally and raised her eyebrows.

He looked at her and said desperately, "but I couldn't stop it."

"That's just..." she took a hard breath, "that's just the way it is Luke." She tried to smile and took his hand, and god her hands were _freezing_, "but I'm still glad I met you Luke."

He wrapped both his hands round hers in an attempt to warm them up and tried to ignore the growing panic over the fact her face was getting paler than normal. He didn't know what to say... He didn't want to fall apart in front of her but god he was _afraid_.

They were quiet for a while and then he felt her shift against him and then she cleared her throat, "Luke?"

"Yeah babe?"

"If something goes wrong-"

"What? No, _no_, Peyton don't even start going there!"

"Luke-"

He stood up suddenly, "no Peyton stop it!"

"Lucas! Sit _down_ and shut up," she hissed. He stared at her in surprise but followed her orders, sitting down heavily and tugging her close again, "I want you tell Rachel she should have my car."

He shut his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth, "we're _not_ doing this." He couldn't listen to this, no _way_.

"Luke _please_! I need to, god I _need_ to! She can't drive that crappy monster truck thing forever... she needs something with actual _style_. Nathan has to have all my records and make him listen to all of them- especially anything by Mat Kearney because I swear to god he needs to hear the lyrics of Can't Break Her Fall and learn he can't fix _everything_...." She was breathing hard, her face screwed up in pain. "But make sure he's happy Luke- tell him... tell him that he knows deep down who makes him complete and sometimes he has to be brave and take a chance and he shouldn't run from it... God when I think of all the time I wasted running from you."

"I didn't mind," he cut in fiercely, "I would have followed you anywhere."

She smiled faintly, "I know you would have..." She was quiet for a moment and then said softly, "tell my dad it wasn't his fault- any of it- tell him... tell him I'm sorry," he could see tears forming and he bit his lip. "And you should tell youself the same thing ok? This isn't... your fault."

"Peyton-" he looked at her pleadingly, "please."

"I'm sorry... I'm tired Luke, so tired..."

"Yeah I know," he sat up, "but you gotta stay with me." He cupped her face, "Peyton!"

Her eyes fluttered open, "sorry. Keep me 'wake Luke?"

He racked his brain trying to think of something to keep her conscious, "ok, uh- tell me about your favourite song."

"'S by Satchel," she murmured, "s'called Suffering."

He couldn't help snorting, "trust you to pick the most depressing sounding song in the world."

"Piano in it... gives me chills. You should... listen to it," her voice was getting fainter and he felt her head loll against his shoulder.

"Peyt?" He glanced down at her, "Peyton?"

"Mmm. LoveyouLuke."

"Peyton?"

Oh god. He was supposed to be _good_ in crisis for god's sake! He couldn't think of anything else to do except tap her face roughly as she closed her eyes once more. "Peyton open your eyes for me."

She didn't move. He was going to let her down, his heart was hammering so hard he could feel it against his rib cage; he was surprised it hadn't stopped.

They were gonna die here.

"Peyton open your eyes!"


	20. Broken Hearts, Broken Souls

**A/N: My internet has been up for like 5 seconds at a time because my tiny town can't handle snow + technology, sorry!! This is a little different from 3x16 (obviously but I still thought I'd say it again. Different people dying, different people getting shot, etc). Hope it's ok. **

**I'm so nervous about this one.**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned OTH because then I wouldn't have to do an exam on Tuesday. Still, I'm posting this and then going to go revise the 17****th**** century, woo!! I sincerely hope y'all are having a whole lot more fun than I am. So yeah, I own nothing.**

Her entire life doesn't flash before her eyes. There's no bright light or fluffy clouds calling her closer and she doesn't see the faces of those she's loved and lost.

Instead she sees disjointed scenes. They're not clear cut or in any order. They're blurry round the edges and it felt like a long dream. She couldn't control it.

Her brain was playing out what felt like Peyton Sawyer's Greatest Hits Volume I.

Her mom tying a ribbon in her hair and humming Fleetwood Mac under her breath- Peyton's never been able to listen to 'Sara' without feeling her chest constrict... Sitting in a car she can't remember while her mom and dad joked about the party they'd just been to up front. She can vividly remember watching lamp posts flash by but she can't remember who's party it was or where'd it'd been, just that she'd work a green velvet dress...

Her dad teaching her how to shoot and patting her on the head when she'd hit the mark eleven times in a row. It had made her glow with pride before they'd had an argument on the way home and hadn't spoken for two days....

Discovering Jimmy Eat World in a dingy music shop and forgetting about the world for three hours.

Her first kiss with a tall guy called Matthew who had dark eyes and a wide smile... Her first time with Oliver Daniels the last night she was in Oakland... She and her best friend from Texas, Olivia, driving for the first in the Comet after she'd passed and totally not hitting a plant pot (or four).... Running across an empty beach with her dog Shep before he died and feeling like they were the only two beings in the world. The sea providing the only music she needed for once... Sitting with her dad eating pizza and having a normal argument about curfews and what they watched (Peyton was for Criminal Minds, her dad was for the game- despite never having followed football- she won the argument and he had admitted Reid did seem quite cool and clever)... Inciting a water fight in her math class at Oakland and laughing non-stop for an hour, soaking wet, outside the principal's office before half the class were suspended...

Rachel rolling over on the bed laughing whilst teasing her about Lucas... Rachel squeezing her hand nervously right before they went on at the Classics... Nathan in the art room with blue paint on his face she had "accidently" wiped there, attempting to get green paint in her hair as revenge... Nathan vehemently denying he was crying at the end of Marley and Me and falling asleep on her shoulder...

Lucas.

Lucas catching her in the corridor, his hands so strong and warm... The first time they argued in class... Standing in the rain with her, his eyes pleading with her to stay after that first fight in the gym... Pulling her close in a dark hotel room, linking their hands together... Reading Shakespeare to her in front of their entire English class... His open face as he admitted he loved her. Saying her name like it _meant_ something to him...

Her brain has a sick sense of humour.

If she ever got to see him again she wanted to tell him these things. She wanted to tell him about her best friends from all the different schools she went to. How normally they were weird like her and sometimes even weirder. How sometimes she didn't make any friends but that had been ok because she'd had her music and she'd had her art. She'd been ok you know? But she didn't think that would be enough anymore. She wanted to tell him that if she lost Lucas and her friends here she didn't think even Ingrid Michaelson would be able to make her feel better. Hell she'd try and 'Turn To Stone' would probably help but it wouldn't work. It wouldn't fix her. If she lost Lucas she didn't think she would ever get over it. She didn't want to be a loner anymore. She wanted her people. She wanted to wake up, to make Lucas happy. She wanted...

Lucas...

* * *

Generally Rachel doesn't let a lot of people into her life. She's not that good at bonding with girls- most of them treat her like a rival and she knows that most guys would rather sleep with her than be her friend. She doesn't trust easily- a therapist she once had said it was because her parents didn't make her feel loved or some crap; that she had "abandonment issues" but she prefers to think of it as common sense. If you keep people at arms length they can't hurt you, they can't betray you -she wasn't thinking the day she met Nathan; it's the only explanation for why she ever gave him the time of day. Before she came to Tree Hill she was used to being the kid no-one played with, the one who got straight As but managed to get in a lot of fights. She was a complete mass of contradictions and she liked it that way. "Unapproachable" was another word her therapist threw in there. She'd told him he was an idiot and hadn't gone back. Anyway she'd been the strange social outcast and she'd been completely fine with that.

Then she'd got hot.

She wasn't being arrogant saying that- she knows that she's not like Tyra Banks hot or anything but hey, she's ok for her age. At fourteen she'd come to Tree Hill and people had noticed her. People, or rather _guys_ had wanted to talk to her. It had been a novelty for a while and she'd enjoyed it. But she had always been careful. She'd set up barriers- kept most of them as acquaintances, but nothing more, as she made her way up to the top of the social ladder.

Yet somehow friends had slipped through the cracks. Bevin, Brooke, Peyton. Hell if she dug deep she'd probably count a few others as well, (but only a few ok? Like Lucas maybe. MAYBE ok?) ((and maybe she cared about Haley but you know, don't tell her- she'd probably laugh her ass off and Rachel's not fond of people laughing at her.))

And Nathan. There was a whole book on the rules she had made for herself and then broken for Nathan Scott.

It was majorly unfortunate really, that she had somehow managed to get attached to certain people here. It sucked because instead of being able to shut down and pretend like she was somewhere else, she actually cared about what happened in this classroom. She cared about where Peyton was and why she and Lucas were the only students in their class who hadn't turned up in the classroom. She really hoped they weren't in school at all. That magically Lucas had stopped Peyton walking into the building and they were somewhere far, far away... Not lying in the corridor in pools of blood. She must have visibly shuddered because she felt the warmth of Nathan's arm suddenly brush up against hers. He was always so good at reading her.

Damn him.

Wordlessly she reached down and took Bevin's hand just as Jimmy snapped at them to throw their cell phones across to him. Rachel bit back a comment about him not being able to call her parents because they were in Miami and never took her calls and slid hers across the floor. Nathan used the flurry of movement to turn to her, "you ok?" he mouthed.

She nodded, "are you?"

His blue eyes widened and he gave a tiny shrug, "still alive right?"

She almost rolled her eyes, only Nathan would joke, and then jumped as Jimmy suddenly appeared next to her, "you got anything else to say Scott?"

Nathan shook his head silently.

"Really? You're normally such a smartass."

Nathan kept his eyes on Jimmy but still didn't say anything. Rachel couldn't breathe as she watched them. It was like watching two predators circle each other or some other ridiculous wildlife analogy Miss Francis would be proud of her for using. Still, her brain wasn't really working right now (because hello? gun being wielded by a kid she used to sit next to in history here people!) And she couldn't think of a single animal... A turtle... No, shit, that wasn't a predator... A shark! Yes, two sharks circling each other would totally work here.

Just as she was thinking this and feeling slightly proud her brain still functioned under stress, Jimmy moved to stand right in front of her. Her brief day dream was broken and she flinched, trying to hold his cold stare. He tilted his head as he looked at her and then smirked, glancing at Nathan, "maybe if I shot her you'd start talking."

Rachel felt her mouth drop open and Nathan moved instantly, shoving her behind him, "look man, I'll come up with all the smartass remarks you want ok? just leave her alone!"

"You think anything you say will stop me Scott? You think I won't shoot her if I feel like it?"

Nathan straightened up a little bit more and stared right back at him, "I'm staying right here whatever you do."

"So sweet," Jimmy turned away and walked back to the front of the classroom, "I wonder how many of you would actually be willing to take a shot for a friend like Scott here. Although," he glanced back at the two of them, "I guess you two are _special_ friends so maybe it doesn't count."

Rachel stared at the floor, her eyes stinging with tears. She could _not_ be here. This classroom was bloody cursed! She'd gotten emotional three times in it in the last two weeks! She took a breath and looked back up; Nathan was still standing squarely in front of her and she couldn't help but feel a little better just knowing he was there. God she was _such_ a girl. Hesitantly she put a hand on his back and although he didn't move she watched his shoulders relax slightly.

"Mouth, you couldn't even bring yourself to call me _once_ when you got in with the popular kids- I bet you wouldn't take a shot for me. But maybe for someone else... Maybe you could decide... I could shoot Scott's wife, Haley right?"

"You know that's my name Jimmy," Haley's voice from somewhere further down the line sounded remarkably strong. "You _know_ me."

"No I don't," he almost shouted back, "_none_ of us know each other."

"Jimmy," Nathan took a step forward, "stop it."

"Jimmy-" Mouth began to plead quietly.

"You wanna see if you could do it? You wanna see just how little I care about any of you?" Jimmy waved the gun in the air, "I could just close my eyes and-"

He turned his back for a split second as he spoke and as he did so Marcus, the guy who parked next to Rachel, suddenly dived across the room and threw himself at Jimmy. He shouted in surprise and the gun skittered across the floor. There was a shout from someone else and then Skillz was joining the fray. Rachel could hear people calling for the boys to stop and one of the girls, Abby, she thought it was, ran for the door. Haley was pushing Brooke to the floor and one of the other girls was screaming.

Then there was the sound of the gun being fired again and again and she saw Jimmy stand up. She felt her heart stop and jolted her head up to look at Nathan, his face determined, as he turned to push her down. She felt shock and pain shoot through her and as they hit the floor, the world went white.

* * *

Lucas stood at the library doors for a long time. He hadn't heard a sound for over ten minutes but he didn't know how long to wait before taking a chance... He glanced back at Peyton; her breathing had slowed down to the point where he was afraid every time her chest rose, it wouldn't fall again. Her face was paper white and her entire leg was now covered in dark blood. He bit his lip. He didn't know whether moving her was the safest option but he knew if they stayed here then- then he'd have no chance of saving her. He moved to crouch down beside her once more and pushed a strand of hair back off her face, "Peyt?"

She'd stopped even looking like she was trying to respond to him a long time ago but he couldn't help himself. He kept saying her name just in case. He'd tried to talk to her to start with, to keep her awake and to distract her- to distract himself. But his voice had cracked as he'd started talking about their stories and he'd felt horrified at himself for getting so morbid.

"Peyton please," he whispered, "I know you think you're all dark and broken and that you're not worth saving but you _are_. You've got so many people who would be pissed if they found out you were giving up like this." He tried to smile, "man can you imagine how many laps Rachel's gonna make you do as punishment? And Nathan? he's gonna lock you up and not let you leave the house ever again just in case-" his voice broke and he swallowed, "just in case..."

He closed his eyes tightly, "I should have done something different; I know that. I should have- I should have got you out. Not followed the damn protocol. It's just- you stop my brain working right you know? Not that i'm blaming you of course but-" he looked at her pleadingly, "please- please just wake up and pick a fight with me." There was a silence only filled by both their laboured breathing and he nodded. "That's ok. It's ok." He stroked her hair as he spoke. "And- and I'm so sorry." He bent down and kissed the top of her head, "I'm sorry..."

He sat, cradling her for a minute, almost trying to build up the strength, or the courage, maybe both, to walk out those doors. Finally, he turned, kissed her hand and then muttered, "here we go."

Slowly he pushed the book case back from barricading the doors and opened one carefully. Outside he could see the trail of blood Peyton had left and a whole lot of abandoned books and bags. It was eerily quiet. He wondered why no-one in charge had taken over the school yet. He prayed it was because the situation had been dealt with and that there was going to be no-one pointing a gun at him and his injured girlfriend. He wondered what the hell he would do if it came to that.

Run.

He could always run. She'd given him a lot of practice. He smiled faintly, he felt better thinking about all the time they'd spent running- both away from each other and then together. She made him feel stronger.

As gently as was possible he draped one of her tiny arms around his neck and gingerly curled his arms under her legs and back. "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok." He tried humming something soothing, something she'd recognise and slowly he stood up. Her head fell against his chest and he paused, heart thudding hard, until he heard her breathe again. Swallowing he walked to the door and then stopped again.

There was no sound, no movement and he glanced down at her once more, "I know right? You'd be calling me such a chicken shit all the time I'm taking," he almost smiled and then his face crumpled and he exhaled hard, "here we go. Again."

The first corridor out was just as silent as the stairwell and he tried not to look at the remnants of a busy school morning that were now scattered down both sides of it. Lockers hung open, papers were strewn across the floor and on one wall he could see what looked like a blood stain. He looked away and pulled Peyton closer. He could see the exit up ahead and he began to speed up. Just as he did so he heard an almighty shout from the English classroom down the hall and then the unmistakable sound of gun shots. He backed up against the wall and cursed under his breath, panic suddenly swirling around him, choking him. The door opened and his eyes widened in shock. It was Jimmy Edwards. Holy shit. He felt his heart stop once more. Blood rushed into his head, blocking out sound, preventing him from thinking and for a second he couldn't move. He glanced around quickly, trying to spot a hiding place, something protective, anything, to keep Peyton safe just a little while longer. Before he could move however, Jimmy backed out of the room and turned his eyes in Luke's direction.

"Lucas?"

"Jim," he began, still trying to edge down to the next classroom door.

"Don't move!" Jimmy took a step towards him, "where've you been Lucas? The school's empty!"

"I- I've been with Peyton. Please Jim, she's hurt- she needs a doctor. I need to get her out-"

"I can't let you go out there."

"You have to. You can't make me stay here-" he was surprised at how steady his voice sounded, "I won't let her die."

"We all die Luke."

He jerked in surprise, this Jimmy was so different to the gentle and funny kid he used to walk home from school with. He nodded slowly, "yeah, yeah we do but- but I can't _watch_ her die Jim. And- and you're gonna have to shoot me to stop me walking down that corridor." He edged closer to the door, "can you do that?"

Jimmy stared at him, "I didn't want this," he said finally. "I'm just so... so angry at- at this place and the people and- and you used to be my friend Lucas." He took a step forward and Lucas attempted to take a minimal step backwards, wondering how the hell he was going to shield Peyton if Jimmy started shooting again.

"You've just gotta let it go Jim. It can be over- all this can be over just as soon as you decide it is. Just- come with me? Outside?"

Slowly Jimmy began to shake his head, "it's too late for that."

"Why? You can still stop this! You can- you can try and fix this."

"I can't. I- I hurt people Lucas. And, and i'm _not_ sorry because they- they hurt me first."

"God Jimmy, who did you hurt?"

"It doesn't _matter_! It's done ok?"

"Jimmy-"

"So... So I guess I'll see you on the other side." He waved the hand he was holding the gun in, "go on Luke- start walking."

He stared at him incredulously, "this can't be it for you Jim. You- you could make this right, _please_."

"Just go! For god's sake! You said you didn't wanna watch her die then don't! Take her away- I don't wanna see it either!"

"Jimmy," his voice was almost a whisper and his old friend shook his head.

"Leave me alone Lucas. You're too late."

He was torn between the desire to stay and try and fix this and getting Peyton to safety. He hesitated but Peyton was heavy in his arms and he knew he couldn't risk wasting another minute. So slowly he took a breath and then began to walk backwards, sticking close to the door.

"Go on," Jimmy snapped, "_go_ ok?"

He made it to the door but before he could push through it there was a flurry of movement and a shout and a bang and when he tried to turn someone tugged Peyton out of his arms and he fell to the floor in surprise.

* * *

It had all been like a scene from a movie. Staring at her scratched up face in the mirror of one of Tree Hill Hospital's bathrooms Brooke could see it all playing out in front of her. Haley always used to tease her about being a drama queen but in this instance, Brooke was definitely not creating more drama in her head. It had all been right there, two feet away from her. People were dead. People she knew, had grown up with, laughed with, fought with. People from her school.

_Kids_.

Her age.

She hadn't imagined it or dreamed it up, it had actually happened. People had died.

She had felt Haley grab her arm and pull her down as she watched Skillz and Marcus attempt to subdue Jimmy, open mouthed and horrified. She could remember hitting her head on the nearest desk corner and clutching her face in pain.

"God get away from me!" Jimmy had been shouting again, "everybody stay the hell where they are!" He was moving towards the door and as Brooke peeked over the desk she could see neither Skillz or Marcus were getting up. "All I wanted was for you to al leave me alone and let me do this one thing!" He clutched his head and looked like he was about to cry.

"Jimmy-"

He turned round and his face darkened as he looked at Mouth, "does it hurt?"

Mouth didn't reply and Brooke sat up in horror as she realised Mouth was breathing heavily and was clutching his side in pain. "Get back down Davis!" She dropped to the floor instantly and Jimmy moved towards the corridor, "I hope it does Mouth. I hope it hurts just like you hurt me." He looked around at them all and then backed out of the door, "you couldn't have imagined this for today could you?"

She could see his face so clearly. The image right before he closed that door haunted her for years and she would wake up in a sweat soaked bed needing to turn the light on just to banish it. Sometimes she would have to wake the sleeping body beside her to remind her it was over. Done. Years behind them.

She'd watched him disappear outside and the door snapped shut with a decisive bang. In a split second one of the girls closest to it, Chloe, jumped up and locked it. Brooke sat up, she could feel blood making its way down her cheek. She ignored it however and crawled across to Mouth urgently.

"Mouth?"

"Hey... Brooke."

She ran a hand across his face, "it's ok. You're gonna be ok."

"Don't think so... Not today."

"Come on- don't go all negative on me buddy- we don't work like that remember?"

"Sorry," he tried to smile, "guess you're gonna have to forgive me this once."

She felt her eyes flood with tears, "don't. Don't worry ok? We're gonna be fine."

There was shouting in the corridor suddenly and another bang and she instinctively leant forward over Mouth, covering both their heads.

"Brooke?"

Haley had made her way over, pulling off her sweater, "here Mouth- hold this on it. You're gonna be ok." She smiled tightly at him. Brooke was so impressed with the way her friend had handled everything. It made her proud.

"Can't believe it," Mouth panted, "Jimmy. Jimmy. Oh god what did I do?"

"It wasn't your fault," Haley said fiercely, "you make your own choices in life Mouth and Jimmy made his. Don't think about it now ok? Hey, look at me."

Brooke had glanced over her shoulder feeling sick. Skillz was rolling over and groaning and beside him Marcus still hadn't moved. There was a lot of blood on the floor. She didn't know where it had all come from at the time.

Now she knew.

One of the guys was leaning over Nathan, talking fast. She could hear Nathan's voice getting louder, something stressed and panicked in it as he gestured around. Then there'd been another bang at the door and she'd leant closer to Haley and Mouth thinking if this was it, she wanted to be close to her friends. If Jimmy was back she'd go down with _them_. A man in a black helmet and black SWAT vest appeared holding a gun and she flinched.

"It's ok," he said loudly, "it's ok. You're ok."

Brooke bent her head in relief and then Mouth had jerked forward in pain and she'd waved a hand at the guy, "hey! Hey we need help like right now!" She had no idea what had happened but she was so relieved they'd been found.

They were ok... They were all going to be fine...

She was never very good at lying to herself.

Now she took a breath and looked up into the mirror. "Ok. I guess we do this now." Beside her Haley nodded wordlessly. She took her friends hand and they headed out of the bathroom and into the bright light of the hospital foyer where everyone was waiting.


	21. The Pieces We Have Left

**A/N: Um, I re-wrote and re-wrote this because I couldn't decide if I was doing the grief right. My own experience was pretty different (not that I was in a school shooting but I meant in general) and anyway, I hope it was realistic enough. There will now be some angst, please don't hate!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, which is probably a good thing because I'm afraid Mouth would have died in um, S1 Episode 2? I'm not a fan.**

"A tragic turn of events at Tree Hill High School today as two students are declared dead and another four critically injured. One of Tree Hill's own is believed to have opened fire on his peers at nine thirteen this morning leading to a hostage situation that kept over a dozen students held at gun point for four hours."

"Earlier today Mayor Scott confirmed that there had been an incident within the school and that the premises will be closed until further notice. He added that his prayers are with the family and friends of all the students involved."

"A Miss Julia Francis, one of the school's English teachers, has been missing since this morning. She was seen leaving the school after being ordered from the room where the hostages were kept but has not been heard from since. Principal Turner has asked that anyone who knows anything can call this number, 258-11-600- there is no pressure he added, only that the school wished to know she was safe."

"The Student Body President Brooke Davis refused to answer questions but gave a brief statement with another student, Haley James, and said that she hoped people would respect all the student's privacy as many of them swarmed to the hospital to be together last night. She herself was injured but insisted she was well enough to remain by her friend's sides."

"It has been confirmed that the student responsible was seventeen year old James Edwards."

"Basketball star and son of the Mayor Nathan Scott was among those held captive by Edwards but he was unavailable for comment."

"Two students remain in critical condition but their names are being withheld until their families have been informed."

"Tree Hill is in a state of utter shock tonight as a terrifying school shooting claimed the lives of two students and seriously injured several more. One of the victim's Marvin Mcfadden died only hours ago after being taken hostage and caught in the crossfire that exploded in his high school English classroom."

* * *

There was a ringing in her ears. As her eyes fluttered open she could see a hazy light, blurry faces and a man's voice was shouting instructions she couldn't understand. Strong arms were carrying her somewhere and then she was lying down. A hand grasped hers and she heard a sharp voice, one filled with panic and something about another victim. She hoped to god it wasn't Lucas. She must have drifted in and out of consciousness. She saw bright lights and there was a sharp smell she would recognise anywhere as pure hospital. Occasionally she felt a stinging in her leg or her arm and her head ached but mostly she felt nothing. At one point she could have sworn she heard her father yelling at someone for being an imbecile and a woman's voice trying to soothe him.

When she finally opened her eyes properly there was an unexpected visitor on the seat next to her bed. She blinked in confusion, "Ellie?"

"Hey Peyton." Her voice sounded hoarse and she was paper white with exhausted looking eyes. She tried to smile and gripped Peyton's hand tightly.

"Where- what-"

"You're at Tree Hill Hospital and you're ok. You were-" her voice shook with emotion, "you were shot Peyton."

"Yeah," she closed her eyes briefly, "I remember that part."

"How are you feeling?"

"Pretty crappy," she said, her voice croaky. "Have you been here long?"

Ellie nodded and ran a hand across her face, "we were kind of worried about you for a while there. Your dad's just on the phone- he's been here all night though."

Only six months ago Peyton might have been surprised by the idea of her dad sitting by her side and actually showing some fatherly concern but now, it felt normal. But she _was_ surprised by how relieved she felt to hear her dad was only outside.

"Peyton-"

Her eyes snapped open again, "what else happened? Where's Lucas?"

"He's talking to his uncle- just outside, don't worry."

"Is he- is he ok?"

Ellie nodded, "he's fine physically- but I'm not sure- he- I'm not sure I should be the one to tell you..."

She swallowed and clutched Ellie's hand, "you're- you should," she breathed out and then looked up at her, "I want you to tell me, whatever it is, _please_."

_Please god don't let it be Nathan or Rachel please god..._

"Peyton one of his friends died a few hours ago- he was in the school."

Peyton stared at her in shock, "_what_?"

"I'm so sorry honey," she sat closer to the bed, "his name was Marvin- Mouth? I think someone said."

"Oh god."

"Peyton I really am so sorry."

Peyton closed her eyes, she could feel Ellie rubbing soothing circles over her hand, "you want me to go get your dad?"

She nodded numbly, tears seeping through, "yeah, yes please." She sat up suddenly, "hey Ellie?"

The elegant blonde turned mid step and frowned slightly, "you in pain?"

Peyton shook her head, "will you come back- with my dad I mean?"

"I don't have to," she said softly.

"No I want you to- if you're- you know, not busy."

Ellie looked surprised but then nodded and gave her a small smile, "of course I'll come back."

She drifted off again and when she came round Lucas was sitting in the chair beside her, his forehead resting on their joined hands.

"Luke?"

He jerked awake and for a second looked around, startled, "yeah, huh? Peyton?" He sat forward, "Peyt you awake?"

"Yeah," she gave him a faint smile, her voice still croaky, "how are you?"

His shoulders hunched up briefly and as he moved into the lamp light she saw how tired he looked, "I'm ok," he said quickly, "but how are you?" He squeezed her hand, "you kinda had us panicking for a bit there."

"Sorry... Luke-" His eyes met hers and she tried to give him a stronger smile, "thank you," she whispered.

"Peyton-"

She shook her head, "I mean it Luke- you saved me."

"And I will _always_ be there to save you Peyton," he said softly, " but I could have- I mean you almost-" he swallowed and closed his eyes again, "I got it all wrong."

She didn't understand, "what do you-"

"Just, don't worry about it ok?" he said soothingly, "try and get some rest." She wanted to resist; she didn't want to be alone when she woke up. Lucas must have seen something flash in her eyes and he gave her a reassuring smile, "we'll all be here when you wake up again."

"You promise?"

"Of course."

* * *

It was raining. She watched it lash against the window panes, making them shake in their place, and she sighed and turned away.

"What a day," Nathan muttered from beside her. Peyton nodded silently and shifted gingerly on the bed. "You ok?"

"Mmm, are you?"

Nathan shrugged and then winced as he moved his shoulder, "had better years."

Peyton rested her head on his good shoulder and sighed, "me too."

There was a clap of thunder outside and Peyton jumped, it sounded far too much like a gunshot for her liking.

"Good morning Miss Sawyer, how are you feeling?" A nurse bustled into the room and Nathan rolled off the bed with a groan and dropped into the chair beside her as the nurse came forward. She smiled brightly and lifted the covers to examine Peyton's leg, "looks like you're healing nicely."

"It's fine," Peyton said shortly.

The nurse's cold hands made her flinch, "sorry dear," she said absent mindedly.

Nathan snorted, "chicken."

"Shut up!" She glanced up at the nurse, "so, am I still ok to go today?"

"You should be; the doctor will want to have a look but I should think so."

"Ok that's good because we uh- we have somewhere we have to be at eleven." Beside her Nathan was suddenly very still, staring at his hands.

A flicker of understanding crossed the nurse's face and she smiled sympathetically, "I'll make sure the doctor comes in as soon as he arrives."

"Thank you," she gave the nurse a ghost of a smile.

"You'll have to keep it clean- I'll go over the instructions with you later. And we'll get you set up with some crutches."

"How long will I need them for?"

"As long as it takes for you to be able to put weight on it- you'll need physio-therapy like we discussed."

"Our very own Tiny Tim," Nathan teased, but his eyes were hollow.

"Didn't know you'd even heard of Dickens- let alone read anything he wrote," Peyton shot back, trying to keep the mood light.

He narrowed his eyes at her, "shut up cripple."

"Says the guy with his arm in a sling."

"Alright Miss Sawyer, I'll be back with the doctor soon," the nurse interrupted suddenly and with a final glance at the still raw wound she nodded and left the room.

Silence fell heavily into the room and Peyton swallowed hard. Nathan didn't say anything but instead, clambered back up onto the bed beside her and put his working arm behind her head. She closed her eyes, leaning against him and listened to the rain.

She couldn't really remember anything from the day itself. Brief flashes of pain intermingled with Luke's voice shouting at her to stay awake. Three days had passed and not much more had surfaced from her memory. Nathan had said it was a blessing; he remembered everything with perfect clarity.

He hadn't talked about it much.

He and Lucas had sat in the waiting room with most of their year as they waited for news of their injured friends. The report on Marcus had come first; gunshot wound to the leg, but stable and awake- his mom and best friend Jack went in to see him. Rachel and Bevin had come out together; Rachel had stitches on her forehead and Bevin was sporting a black eye. Haley and Brooke had sat on the sofa next to the brothers; Brooke taking Luke's hand at one point and trying to offer him a supportive smile. Lucas had looked back with hollow, exhausted eyes and given a weak smile in return. Nathan had sat in absolute silence, drumming his fingers into his knees nervously. The news of Mouth's surgery came at three forty two am and Rachel had been asleep on Nathan's shoulder. Slowly Lucas and Brooke had stood, Susan, Mouth's mother had nodded, her face deathly pale and a tear streaking down her cheek before asking to see him. Brooke disappeared to the ladies room and Haley followed, numb and in shock. Lucas had sat back down and buried his head in his hands; Nathan had been helpless to comfort him, feeling the same pain so very sharply. It had not been easy waking Rachel and telling her the news.

When Ellie, so sharply recognisable in the features so similar to Peyton's, had appeared at nearly five he'd felt absolute panic over the expression on her face, then she'd given a tiny, relieved smile and he'd exhaled hard.

"You want a few minutes?" She'd asked softly.

Lucas had been up like a shot, diving towards her room and Nathan had gently nudged Rachel awake. She had blinked; her face still stained with tears and then sat up slowly, linking her hand in his as they stood. Wordlessly they followed Luke down the corridor to where a sleepy Peyton had managed to squeeze his hand faintly and tell him she was glad to see him for once. He thought maybe he laughed at that. Lucas had sat by the bed and after telling Peyton she was gonna kick her ass Rachel dragged Nathan over to the sofa and collapsed there.

The three of them fell asleep in the darkness of his best friend's room. For three days he had barely left Peyton's hospital room. His own hoodies scattered across the sofa and chair and a toothbrush in the bathroom were evidence he hadn't really gone home. The nurses seemed to have silently accepted they were bending protocol for them and he was endlessly grateful for it. He knew that for all of them the room weirdly felt like a warm and safe cocoon from the storm outside.

* * *

Lucas leant against the door frame and watched as she twisted her hair up and into a loose bun. She could tell his thoughts were a million miles away and she let him be- there would be enough time to talk later.

"Mr Scott." Her dad's gruff voice broke the silence and she whirled round in surprise.

"Dad, what are you doing here?"

"I thought Lucas would be here and I wanted to see him." The older man looked at Lucas intently before holding out his hand, "I wanted to thank you, sincerely son, for carrying my little girl outta that school."

Lucas' eyes widened in surprise and then he took Larry's hand and nodded seriously, "of course- I'm only sorry that-"

Larry held up his other hand, "there isn't anything you need to apologise for Lucas. You saved my daughter's life and I- I can't ever thank you enough." He placed his hand on Luke's shoulder, "if there's anything you ever need, you let me know."

Lucas blinked hard and then nodded, giving a grim smile, "thank you sir."

For a second Peyton stared at the two of them in surprise and then lost her balance standing on one leg and slipped. "Shit-"

Lucas darted forwards and caught her arm tightly, "Peyt careful!" He half carried her over to the bed and lowered her onto it. As he did so his eyes caught hers, it felt like a shock down her back; it was practically the first time in two days he'd met her eye. After that first night Lucas had almost completely shut down. Despite keeping an almost constant vigil by her side he felt more distant than he'd ever been before.

"Sorry," she murmured, "I was just surprised by the moment you two were having."

He almost smiled and then turned away quickly- it felt like a cold blast when his eyes left hers, "Nathan's in the car outside if you're ready."

"I'll be taking your things to the house Peyton- you come straight back home alright?"

She almost rolled her eyes, "dad I'm not an invalid!"

"No," he said sharply, "but you're my daughter and I want to make sure that you are home and safe and-" he stopped and then nodded towards the door, "go on, you better get going." He came forward and kissed her forehead, "I hope it goes alright."

"Thanks," she murmured.

Lucas pushed her chair to the elevator and then helped her with her crutches. "I can do it myself you know," she snapped, annoyed that even though he was in front of her, touching her, he really wasn't there _with_ her.

"Sorry," he pulled back like he'd been burnt, "I know you can. I'm just-"

"Yeah I know," she felt remorse flood in and bit her lip, "Luke-"

"The car," he interrupted, "Nathan's waiting."

They sat in the car with the radio playing softly. Peyton recognised it as something by Susie Suh and felt her eyes fill up; her music always got to her. Just as the chorus began once more Lucas reached up and turned it off. Peyton turned to look at him in surprise, "Luke?"

"We're nearly there," he said shortly, "let's just- sit quietly ok?"

Nathan shifted in the back and Peyton twisted to meet his eyes. He nodded almost imperceptibly and she closed her eyes in return. Lucas put his foot down on the gas and didn't reach for her hand the way he had done in the past when driving.

* * *

She had never seen her entire class gathered together like this before. Even on the days when lessons were complusory someone was bound to be ill or not bothered enough to make it. But today, today was different. They were here for one of their own and Peyton felt the tears swell up. Haley gave her a tiny smile and touched her hand as she passed. They hadn't spoken much but Haley had brought Peyton a take-away hot chocolate from Karen's and sat on the edge of the bed for an hour to talk. Peyton was deeply relieved her friend was ok.

Rachel had been notably absent whilst Haley was in the room but otherwise she'd been there almost as much as Nathan and Lucas. "I don't want you to get any ideas about me caring too much, this is totally not like that," she'd insisted whilst plumping up Peyton's pillows one evening.

Peyton had scoffed, "yeah because you so obviously _don't._ Remind me again, was it you crying and bringing me flowers yesterday saying you were _so_ glad I was ok, or was that your evil twin?"

"My evil twin is called Callie and she's way too cool to stop by somewhere as lame as your hospital room," Rachel had shot back. But her eyes had glimmered suspiciously and Peyton had grabbed her hand.

"I'm glad you're ok too," she'd said softly.

Rachel had remained silent but she'd squeezed Peyton's hand back tightly.

She glanced around now, taking in the sea of faces. The only student she had heard was missing was Marcus who was still bed bound. Even the stoners were all standing at the back, their hair brushed for what she guessed was the first time in about five years. Skillz was standing with Bevin to the right of them, one hand holding hers tightly and the other in a sling from a bullet that had grazed his arm. Most of the students were unharmed but here or there she could see plasters and bruises from where the chaos had led to them falling or cutting themselves on broken glass. Jake caught her eye and nodded solemnly. He was standing next to Brooke and as Peyton looked away she saw him take her hand and hold it steady.

Brooke was the one who spoke. She got up gracefully and made her way to the front. She didn't look at the coffin but her every movement let on she knew it was there. She smiled bravely at them all and then cleared her throat.

"I'm normally pretty good at the talking thing but you'll have to forgive me if I'm not particularly elegant today." She looked down at her piece of paper for a second and then visibly swallowed before raising her head, "Mouth was one of my best friends. He was everyone's friend really. That's normally a cliché but in his case I _know_ it was the truth. He was good to everyone, whoever they were and whatever they did. We all knew him as such a funny guy, the one who always had a joke and a smile but really he was the one you could turn to in a crisis. He was always there when you had a problem. I don't think I would have gotten through this last year without him and I can't believe I have to get through the rest of-" she paused and wiped at her face, "I'm really gonna miss him," she said finally. "And I hope wherever you are Mouth, they've got you a really _amazing_ commentary booth and that you're ok... that you're happy. We are all gonna miss you _so_ much. We love you _so_ much. And we will _never_ forget you."

Beside her Peyton realised Lucas was shaking and she reached over to take his hand. On her other side Nathan stared straight ahead looking grave. Lucas held her hand for a moment and then let it drop to the side.

She tried not to feel too hurt.

* * *

Lucas was still standing over the fresh dirt when Peyton went looking for him. Slowly she made her way over and stood beside him. "Hey."

He didn't move.

"Everyone was wondering where you'd got to."

"I don't feel like being real sociable right now." His hands were dug deep into his pockets and he was soaked through, Peyton bit her lip. There was no way anyone had the right words for this kind of conversation.

"I'm so sorry Luke."

He nodded and then turned away, "you didn't do anything wrong."

"That's not-"

"Then why are you sorry?" Her eyes widened incredulously and he shrugged as he turned back to her, "it's not your fault right? So why are _you_ sorry?"

"Lucas-"

"Stop it!"

She frowned, "stop what?"

"You cannot be this understanding! You just- you don't get it Peyt."

"I do, actually," she retorted, "I was _there_ remember?"

His head jerked back like she'd slapped him and his eyes clouded over, "of course I remember," he said finally. "It's all I can do to not think about every second of every minute; I feel like I re-live it every time I close my eyes!"

"Lucas," her voice came out in a whisper.

He shook his head, wincing as he looked at her, "god Peyton you- you started talking about what you wanted me to do with all your _things_!" She cringed, oh god, she could vaguely remember that. That had been pretty bad. "And then- and then you stopped talking altogether..." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, "and I was afraid that every time I looked at you you'd have stopped breathing for good. I was so damn afraid that you were gonna _die_ in my arms!"

"I-"

"I would never, not for one second, change what I did carrying you out of there but I wish I could change _everything_ else." He scrunched his face up, running a hand through his hair, "you know I was the _last_ person to see Jimmy Edwards alive before someone in a SWAT vest _shot_ him? I had to watch it- I saw him _die_ Peyton. And Mouth- he didn't deserve this. I should have known something was up with Jimmy weeks ago and yet I _didn't_. I could have changed things but I _didn't_- I screwed up! And there is nothing you can say to make me feel better about that. God I love you Peyt but I just can't listen to anyone else say they're sorry or say thank you to me when this is _my_ fault."

"How is this your fault Luke? You didn't put a gun in Jimmy's hands and tell him to go and shoot at all his friends!"

"But I should have _known_ something bad was going to happen."

"How?! You're not _psychic_!"

"But I was his friend!"

"And he was yours! And Mouth's and Haley's and Nathan's and he hurt all of you anyway; you- you couldn't have known Luke."

"I should have though!"

"But-"

"Just please Peyt-" he began to back away, "can you and Nathan get another ride home? I need to- I just need some time ok?"

She nodded slowly, "sure."

He turned and stalked away, shoving his hands deep in his pockets with his head bowed against the rain.

"We'll be fine," she added to no-one in particular.


	22. You're Not Gone But You're Not Here

**A/N: To clarify; the main couple in this fic is LP, obviously, Nathan and Rachel are not dating and are **_**not**_** endgame (sorry JJ I promise I'll write a whole fic devoted to them for you after this) but if you're really not a fan of NR then guys- don't read! I know NH are a great couple and Nathan **_**does**_** still care about Haley- she's his wife after all! But if you really hate the NHR triangle then thank you for reading so far but an NH fic would be better for you!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own and I never will.**

"_Lucas it's me. If you don't call soon I'm gonna file a missing person's report. Ok I'm not because that would be over dramatic but you know I'm not afraid of turning up outside your house with a radio just to get you to come out. Ok I probably wouldn't do that either but... I just... I just wanna know you're ok ok?. And now I'm rambling. Call me."_

Peyton pushed her way through the body of people with Nathan firmly shouldering most of them out of the way for her with his good arm.

"Did we _have_ to come to this thing?"

He winced at the volume of the music and then shrugged, "we didn't have to. But I thought it might be a good idea to get you out of the house, you were kind of becoming a hermit dude."

"It's been three days Nate; I've stayed in bed for longer before."

"Yeah but that was before; when you were a loner, before you knew _me_," he grinned at her. "Besides, I think this is helping everyone, you know, being together. And you never know, it might help you doll," he added.

She raised an eyebrow, "_doll_?"

He wiggled both eyebrows back at her, "I'm trying it out."

"Yeah well, stop trying, the nineteen twenties want their word back."

"Woah, was Peyton Sawyer trying to be witty?"

"I never have to _try_ Scott; I'm the epitome of wit."

Nathan snorted, "who told you that? Because they were lying to you." She shoved at his shoulder and he yelped, "watch it!"

"That wasn't your bad arm you baby, suck it up- at least you don't have crutches."

"Yeah, but you're working them pretty well considering."

She laughed, "was that a compliment?"

"Maybe- don't get used to them though, you know I only hand them out on special occasions."

"You suck," she said, rolling her eyes, before glancing at him with concern, "seriously though, how's your arm holding up?"

Nathan shrugged, "I've had worse Sawyer," he grinned wickedly, "don't worry; I won't deprive you of the rest of an awesome basketball season. Lots more games for you to come and cheer at with those pretty, pretty crutches."

"My life is complete," she retorted drily.

"You don't have to thank me, I was born this great."

"You were born with an oversized head."

"And you were born with skinny legs and an inability to be civil before coffee but somehow I still love you," he inclined his head, "I'm gonna go say hi to Skillz, you ok here for a min?"

She laughed, "Nate- you can leave me alone for more than a minute at a time you know, I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes flashed with something like regret, "I know that Sawyer- I just-"

"Yeah I know," she said quickly, "but it's ok, seriously, we don't need another chick flick moment here, we're good."

"That's a relief; my quota's getting really pushed this month."

Their eyes met and she knew beneath the jokes they were both still raw. Maybe they did need a night to blow off steam. She smiled brightly, "go on dude, I'll be here," he nodded and gave her a brief smile back before walking over to where Skillz was sitting staring into space.

"_Hey, I guess I'm ignoring the fact that you're obviously trying to ignore me and I'm calling... again. I'm wearing that grey hoodie you left at mine and it smells like you. It makes me miss you. Dammit."_

Peyton looked around trying to spot someone she recognised, muttering, "now where do I get a damn strong drink from?"

"Depends what kind of drink you're looking for," a voice interrupted from behind. Peyton twisted quickly and then scowled immediately at the jolt of pain up her leg.

"Jeez, happy to see you too blondie," Rachel smirked before reaching out a hand to help steady her friend. "How you feeling?"

"Like I walked a mile," Peyton gave her a weary smile, "how about you- you're still looking a little bit like that evil dude from Friday the 13th with those bandages."

"Bite me," Rachel said simply, "I look fantastic. Now, there's strong drinks in the lounge, stuff you just need water for in the kitchen and-"

"A strong drink sounds good," Peyton interrupted.

It was Friday and after so many of them had ended up practically living at the hospital, Brooke and Rachel had figured it might help if they all had a chance to get together and just, have a good time. It would be different from before and none of them were under the illusion that it would fix everything. But it would be a chance for them to maybe laugh, have a few drinks and more than that, be together and safe in a different environment to that of the hospital and school. Rachel had volunteered her empty house and they'd loaded it with every kind of unhealthy snack they could get their hands on, sleeping bags for those who didn't want to get home and plenty of sensible drivers on standby.

Peyton hadn't heard from Lucas since Mouth's funeral two days ago. She'd sent him a couple of texts (ok eight- and that's a lot for someone who doesn't feel the need to speak to people every single day) and left a few messages (fine like five) but she didn't want to push him. He knew where to find her if he needed her... At least that's the way she was trying to think. It wasn't working particularly well. She'd practically chewed her fingernails off worrying about him.

She knew he was alive because when she and Ellie had gone to Karen's the day before a weary Karen had been there and had given her a smile and squeezed her shoulder, "so glad you're ok Peyton."

Ellie had got up to go and have a chat and Peyton had desperately wished Lucas was sitting beside her; trying to make her laugh or teasing her about her inability to last more than four hours without coffee.

"_This is your girlfriend, Peyton Sawyer, you know the one? Blonde, tall, broken up leg right now. Yeah she wants her boyfriend back ok? And she's kind of mad at you for making her say that. So call me, like soon. Please."_

Peyton sighed now and stepped away from the table as Rachel handed her a drink, "thanks."

Rachel nodded and opened her mouth to say something when a mass of brown curls fell in her face, "Racccchhh!"

"Brooke?"

"Oh heyyy Peyton," Brooke stumbled across to her, "how you feeling? Heard you were –hic- a cripple now." She began to giggle and patted Peyton's arm, "don't worry, we're all broken here."

Peyton looked up at Rachel, her eyes filling with concern as Brooke continued to sway between them, "you ok there Brooke?"

"Uh huh! Peachy. I mean at first I was all like," she pulled a face, "you know, sad about Mouthy, he was my best friend you know? And then I found vodka! Ohh is that Lil' Wayne playing?" She bounded away, completely oblivious and Peyton shot Rachel another look.

Rachel bit her lip, "I don't know what to do about her. She won't talk about it at all."

Peyton sighed, "I know that problem pretty well."

"I am like the world's worst person when it comes to sensitive issues you know?"

"Yeah Rach, I do."

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean."

"Yeah," Peyton sat down heavily on the nearest chair and Rachel perched beside her, "Lucas isn't talking either," she added sadly. "I mean, he's not gone mute or anything, he just won't talk to _me_."

The red head scrunched up her nose, "you know I remember when I first got here, and I was new in school and I met the two Scott brothers... god they were so different back then." She smiled quickly, "Luke was all studious and serious and Nate was this hot shot basketball player who was all sarky and short with people-"

Peyton snorted, "doesn't sound that different to now Rach."

"Yeah maybe on the outside- but I know for a fact Lucas wasn't anything like how he is when he's with you now Peyt. He lights up. When you went on your 'my mom's crazy tour' and disappeared to eat ice cream by the pint he was like, well he was like the broody kid that didn't talk to anyone back when I first moved here." Tentatively she reached out a hand and touched Peyton's shoulder, "you might not be able to fix him just yet honey but I _know_ you're helping just by being you."

Peyton nodded, trying not to point out that you couldn't really help someone who didn't want to talk to you and wiped her eyes quickly, "that's about the nicest thing you've ever said to me red."

Rachel narrowed her eyes and took back her hand, crossing her arms, "don't get used to it or anything."

Peyton laughed and instinctively threw her arms around Rachel's neck, "thanks," she murmured.

"Alright, alright, don't get teary on me Thelma." She pulled back, "hey you wanna get out of here? I'm not really in the mood for this and I'm kind of craving fries."

Snuffling Peyton nodded again, "that sounds good. I'll go tell Nate."

"_You weren't here tonight Lucas... And it feels like everyone was missing you. It wasn't right being here without you. We're already short on our people Luke and we need you. Ok I need you. __**Fuck**__ this machine is the bane of my life right now. Call me."_

Nathan shifted on the sofa and rolled his neck and shoulders, trying to shake off the dull ache in his arm. He needed to get back to training and his arm needed to heal like yesterday.

"Nathan!" Haley called out to her husband, "help me with Brooke?" He jumped up from the sofa and between them they lifted Brooke from where she was splayed over the stairs. Brooke made a noise caught between disgruntlement and sleepiness and then settled against his chest. He winced as his arm screamed at him.

"We should get her upstairs," he said breathlessly. Haley nodded and followed him as he made his way up onto the hushed landing. He inclined his head at the nearest door, "you reckon this one's free?"

"I don't know- have a look."

"I'm carrying the drunk girl- you look!"

"I'm a girl!"

"So?!

"So people might be- you know-"

"Haley! Brooke is kind of heavy!"

"_Fine_!" Haley stuffed a hand in her mouth, trying not to laugh and hesitantly knocked on the door, "hello?" No-one responded and she flicked on the light, "we're good."

"Great," he padded inside and gently laid Brooke out on the bed. Haley pushed the hair out of the brunettes face, rolling her over to one side and shoving the waste paper bin up by the bed. Nathan sat down heavily, resting his head against the backboard.

"I don't think she's dealing with it all," Haley said softly.

"I don't think any of us are." He closed his eyes and felt Haley shift up to sit next to him. "You ok?"

She shook her head as she rested it on his shoulder. "I can't stop hearing it," she said softly, "every time there's a silence I hear him- taunting us, I hear Mouth, I- I hear your voice." She squeezed her eyes shut, "I can't stop it."

Nathan reached down and took her hand gently, "it'll go away one day Hales."

"When?"

"When we're all ok again."

Haley snorted, "what in ten years?"

"No. God I hope it won't take that long." He traced circles across the top of her hand, "everything looks bad now but I promise we'll get through it. We'll go back there and-"

"How can we go back there Nate?"

"Because we have to," he said simply, "because if we don't face it, it'll be like this black shadow that follows us around and we'll never be free. We can't live afraid remember? And... and we'll get through it together ok?"

She sighed and held onto his hand tighter, "ok."

"_So apparently I'm a girl and I can't leave things alone for like two minutes. I don't think you should be doing this Luke; it's not healthy. You're always telling me to eat better and to quit smoking but what you're doing right now isn't good for you. You can't tell me not to smoke if you won't answer your phone... You should be with people who love you and I lo- god just call me back ok?" _

Rachel helped Peyton out of the car and slowly they moved up towards the house. "You better be back in shape asap blondie. I need you back on the team and I need you to not suck more than you did before ok?"

"Aw, you say the sweetest things Rach."

"Yeah," Rachel muttered, "but I am also the one helping lug your heavy ass across the lawn here, show a little gratitude."

Peyton snorted, "you're unbelievable."

"Thank you."

"Peyton _Elizabeth _Sawyer!"

She cringed, "oh crap."

"Is that-" Rachel paled, "is that a _parent_ I can hear?"

Larry appeared from inside the house, "do you know what time it is young lady?"

"Yeah dad- ten minutes after twelve, you said-"

"I said home at twelve!"

"Wow your dad is kinda hot," Rachel murmured from beside her as Larry came down the porch steps.

"Dude, _so_ not the time," Peyton hissed back.

The General stalked across the lawn with his arms folded, "you got an explanation for this?"

"Sorry Mr Sawyer," Rachel said smoothly, "we set off at half past but there was bad traffic along the way."

Larry raised an eyebrow, "uh huh, at midnight... In _Tree Hill_?"

"Yep," Rachel smiled brightly, "and we should get Peyton inside before she catches a cold don't you think?"

"Hmmm, and you are?"

"Rachel Gattina," she smirked, "_Sir_."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "I'm going inside to throw up."

"See you Monday blondie," Rachel called cheerily as she danced back across the grass, "very nice to meet you Mr Sawyer."

"Charmed, I'm sure," Larry muttered in amusement. He turned and gripped his daughter's arm firmly to help her, "are you sure you two are friends?"

"What? Why?!"

"She's just- well honey you're kind of- she smiled more in two minutes than you did in the whole of last year," he said finally.

"Dad!"

He chuckled, "I'm just messing kiddo, come on, she's right about you catching cold."

Reluctantly Peyton let herself be carried up the stairs and practically tucked into bed by her dad, "I'm not eight you know," she said crossly.

"You'll always be my little girl," Larry argued back, "even if you do have giraffe legs." He glanced at the bandage wrapped around her leg, "it givin' you much pain?"

"Nope," she said firmly, "I'm fine."

"That's my girl," he leant forward and kissed her forehead, "but I don't believe you. I'll bring up your pain meds."

"I don't want them dad- I don't want any drugs that aren't necessary."

"There is no reason not to take them Peyton; they're helping you."

"Dad-"

"I don't want you to be in pain, you're taking them and that's final."

"Fine," she grumbled, "but I won't like it."

"I never said you would."

She buried deeper under the covers while she listened to her dad moving about downstairs. It felt comforting to know he was around but she could feel the unease spreading across her chest. She was used to her own company; hell she _liked_ her own company but right now... She wished she wasn't alone. She wished Lucas would send her a text saying anything. One word would make her feel at least a tiny bit better. In the darkness she flipped her cell open and dialled 2... no answer. It was what she had expected but it still hurt. A lot. God she was such a girl. The message tone beeped and she swallowed before speaking.

"_Luke it's me... again. Look please don't go through this by yourself. You don't have to be on your own... And I don't want to be on my own either. I get that you need time- hell if anyone gets the dark and twisty brooding thing it's me but... I don't know how to..."_ She sighed, _"I love you ok? Just call me."_


	23. You Need Something To Believe In

**A/N: There will be less angst soon, like in the next chapter I promise!**

**Disclaimer: You know the drill, just playing in the sandbox.**

The weekend passed with Nathan living on her bed and the two of them lying practically motionless watching re-runs of Scrubs. It was the only program they both agreed on that had no violence in. Neither of them could stomach Peyton's favourite program which was Criminal Minds. Monday morning came all too quickly and moving slowly around the room Peyton dressed and made her way down stairs. Larry folded the paper he was reading and gazed at her as she made her way into the kitchen yawning.

"How in the hell are you still tired kiddo? You've practically been sleeping all weekend."

She grunted, "umph, Nathan snores... Like worse than you."

"Well that's saying something." He got up and pulled out a chair for her, "you want coffee?"

"Please," she rested her chin on her hand and looked around, "why is it so tidy in here?"

"Ellie wanted to do something," Larry said awkwardly, "she uh- she dropped round before work and I couldn't stop her."

Peyton laughed, "you let Ellie boss _you_ around dad?"

"She's just a bit forceful is all..."

"You're scared of her!?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Oh my god, Larry Sawyer, scariest man in the world has finally met his match."

He placed a mug in front of her and swatted the back of her head lightly, "be quiet and drink your coffee kid."

She was still grinning as she finished it five minutes later and Larry rolled his eyes, "will you stop crowing over there?"

"I'm sorry, it's just- well, it's hilarious."

"Hmm," he eyed her carefully, "you ok about her coming round? She didn't wanna intrude- just wanted to check up on you."

"It's fine Dad, honestly. It was kind of nice talking to her at the hospital you know?"

"Yeah, and you know, about uh- you know she's not been very well?"

"Lucas told me," she said tightly, wishing she didn't have to talk about _him _right now.

Larry's eyes narrowed, "Lucas?"

"Yep."

"And how'd he know?"

"His mom and Ellie are friends."

"Uh huh, and have you and Ellie talked about it?"

"Not really," she winced, "I guess we just haven't gotten around to it. I wouldn't really know what to say."

"I'm sure she'd be ok with you askin' a few questions Peyton, she is your- well, she's your Mother. She'd probably be more than ok with you bein' a bit curious."

"I don't want you to think-"

"There's no way on earth I would," he cut in, "I know you know who your mom is Peyton, and I think she'd want you to know everything you could about your own history. You're not replacing her by any means."

"But I have everything I'll ever need right here Dad."

"Of course you do honey, but there's nothin' wrong with wanting to know your own history."

She narrowed her own eyes at him in an exact replica of his own expression minutes before, "when did you get so wise?"

He swatted her on the arm with the newspaper, "watch your tongue young lady. Show your old man a little respect."

She laughed, "old. Old old man."

"Hey!"

"You said it first!"

Nathan appeared in the kitchen, rubbing his eyes, "uh morning Mr Sawyer."

"Good morning Nathan." Larry nodded and glanced between the pair of them, "you two sure about goin' in today?"

"We gotta go some time right?" Nathan replied, sitting down heavily beside his best friend.

"Uh huh- it's not... too soon?"

Peyton shivered, thinking about walking down **that** corridor and then shook her head, "Nathan's right; it's gotta happen sometime. I don't want to be scared of my own school."

"Well if you need anything-"

"Dad, we'll be fine."

"I know, but I'll be here all day and if you do wanna come home early or anything happens-"

"_Dad_!"

"I'm just saying!" He rolled his eyes, "you're far too like your mom with that stubborn streak Peyton Sawyer."

She glanced at him in surprise and then said softly, "you're on speed dial one don't worry."

He re-opened the paper looking suspiciously emotional, "damn straight."

Peyton smiled at his now hidden figure and then at Nathan who winked at her and then nodded, finishing his coffee, "we better get going then."

* * *

They sat in the car silently, staring up at the school. For once there were no students milling around the courtyard out front, instead everyone was choosing to head straight to their home rooms. The media had been warned not to go near any of the students and seemed to have respected the Principal's unusually forceful request. Peyton had been impressed by the way Principal Turner had handled everything- he had greatly risen in her estimations over the last week. He hadn't pushed anybody to come back; instead he had announced that the doors would be re-opening and any student who was willing and _ready_ to come in and to put the dark events of the previous week behind them would be very welcome. Still, she wondered how many people would be inside. The car park was not even half full. It looked like a ghost town, all they needed was some tumble weed scattered across it and they'd be set.

"You ok?" Nathan's quiet question broke into her thoughts and she turned to look into his eyes.

"Yeah, you?"

He straightened up and then nodded, "yeah, let's go learn about some friggin' Shakespeare play that's never actually gonna help me in life."

She laughed, "actually a lot of the morals and scenarios Shakespeare uses are useful in directing lost souls."

Nathan snorted, "who says I'm a lost soul?"

"Oh my bad," she rolled her eyes as he helped her out of the car, "I forgot, you're perfect."

He grinned at her widely, "glad you remembered."

She didn't go to her locker, in fact she barely looked up as they walked towards the classroom. Nathan hadn't let go of her arm either. She let out a breath once they were inside the classroom and felt her shoulders relax- she hadn't even realised she'd tensed them.

"Peyton!" Bevin jumped up from where she'd been sitting with Rachel and some of the other cheerleaders, "how are you feeling?"

She gave a tired smile, "ok, how are you?"

Bevin smiled sweetly back, "ok I guess. Come and sit with us," she linked her arm through Peyton's and pulled her over to the empty desks- it was kind of awkward with Peyton's crutches but she was glad for the warmth Bevin seemed to exude.

Rachel handed her a blusher as she sat down and raised an eyebrow, "is there a law somewhere that no-one else knows about stating you should always leave the house without make up blondie?"

"Shut up- it wasn't really on my mind when I got up this morning," she said scowling but taking it none the less.

Jake appeared and sat down with them, "hey guys, Peyton, how's the leg?"

She shrugged, "still looks pretty mashed up but it's feeling better thanks."

"You should see it," Nathan said smirking and leaning forward, "it looks like something out of Alien is growing on it."

She punched his arm, "you're a douche."

He shot back a dazzling smile, "sticks and stones baby."

"Hi," it was a quiet voice above them and they all looked up to see Brooke. She wasn't wearing any make up and her clothes were much more casual than usual but she gave them all a half smile.

Bevin jumped up excitedly, "Brooke, so glad you're back too- does this mean practice is on Rach?"

Rachel pulled a face, "I'm not sure. Let's see who else comes in ok hon?"

"Brooke," Jake stood up and slipped his arms around her, hugging her tight. He didn't say anything stupid or cliché, instead he helped her sit down, gave her a nod as if to say _you did good_ and didn't let go of her hand.

Rachel's eyes flickered towards the door and then back at the group, "anyway, before you guys got here I was just saying, we're gonna go away this weekend."

Peyton snorted, "are you giving us a choice in the matter?"

"Did I say you were invited?"

"Yeah, silly me, you've only been attached to my hip like you love me for like the last _month_," Peyton replied loftily. "And like I would let you go without me Louise."

Bevin scrunched up her nose, "Peyton, Rachel's name is Rachel, not Louise."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "it's ok Bev, she knows that, it's a- uh-"

"A _friend_ thing?" Peyton suggested smirking.

"Alright shut up, we're friends; don't start sending me love letters or anything."

"What was that about love letters?" Nathan leant back on his chair and grinned at them, "Sawyer you just missed Valentine's Day but you can send me one anytime, you know that."

She was just about to retort when the door opened again and Lucas appeared looking haggard and like he hadn't shaved in a while but still, alive. And hot.

Ok really hot.

He was obviously one of those guys who could kind of pull off the five o'clock shadow thing- as a note of reference Nathan was not one of those guys.

He realised everyone's eyes were on him and gave a small smile, "hey guys."

Nathan inclined his head and gestured, "sit down man, I was just finding out what Peyton's gonna put in her next love letter to me."

Peyton flushed and shoved at his chest, "dork," she muttered. She glanced at Lucas, half in disbelief that he wasn't a figment of her imagination and he met her eyes.

"Hi," he said softly as he sat down beside her.

"You remember how to speak I see," she said drily before turning back to Rachel, "you were saying red?"

"Peyton-"

"_Rach_," she hissed, "going away?"

Rachel shot a look between the two blondes and raised her eyebrow minimally at Peyton before thankfully continuing without pushing her into an embarrassing showdown or anything similar. "My parent's cabin is free this weekend- normally it's always being used by hunters or politicians," she rolled her eyes, "or something like that, anyway, I'm thinking we could all use the break. Maybe spend a couple of days relaxing, we've got a load of quad bikes-"

Nathan's eyes lit up, "you serious?"

"Yeah," she shrugged, "I'm kind of awesome with them."

"Pfft, wait till you see my skills Gattina, you'll be shocked and awed."

"I feel like that _every_ time I see you Nate," she replied sweetly and he narrowed his eyes at her, giving her the finger. She smirked and Peyton hid a laugh before glancing nervously at Lucas again. He was still looking at her and for a moment they stared at one another. She swallowed and thought about saying something when Skillz appeared in the classroom looking tired and wary but smiling when Bevin danced over to him and threw her arms around his neck.

"Glad you're back baby, I missed you."

"Me too baby, me too."

Oh _come_ on. How did they make it look so easy?!

"Alright guys," Principal Turner came into the room, "this is Mr Eads and he'll be covering until Miss Francis gets back." He gestured to a handsome guy with dimples who came into the room and smiled at them all. Rachel practically melted in her seat next to Peyton.

"How y'all doin'? I'm so sorry we're meeting under these circumstances ladies and gentlemen but I'm lookin' forward to findin' out what y'all think of Shakespeare."

"Do we have any questions?"

"Principal Turner?"

"Haley, what can I do for you?"

"Is Miss Francis ok?"

Everyone's attention was diverted from gawking at their new gorgeous teacher and they all looked up at their Principal expectantly.

"Miss Francis will be fine guys; she's just having some time off. She asked me to remind you all not to fall behind and that she hopes you'll forgive her absence," he cleared his throat awkwardly and then looked at them all intently, "I'm very proud of all of you for coming in."

There was a moment of stunned silence- Principal Turner wasn't exactly known for getting emotional- and then Mr Eads clapped his hands together and smiled at them all. "So, I believe we're in groups preparing essays for my lucky eyes- but er, anyone got any objections to us putting those on hold for one class, maybe give me a chance to get to know y'all?" He sat down on the desk top, "maybe we could throw some questions out there- on that note, anyone get any for me?"

A room full of hands went up.

* * *

"Oh my god I love him," Rachel gushed as she sat down at Peyton's art table in their next period.

Peyton looked up innocently, "who you talking about?"

"Who do you think?! That man should come with a warning sign- danger, may cause temporary mindlessness."

She laughed, "he _was_ kinda cute. And it was interesting to hear his thoughts on Virginia Woolf's _A Room of One's Own_."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "yeah that was truly _fascinating_. Dear god blondie, you know you're in a relationship when instead of noticing the supply teachers fine abs or delicious smile, you actually listen to what he's _saying_."

Peyton snorted, "doesn't a relationship require _words_?"

"Ah," Rachel shifted forward, resting her chin on her hands and narrowing her eyes knowledgably, "you've shifted from sympathetic to I'm pissed I'm being ignored?"

"Am I being stupid Rach? I mean I know I am but I- god I can't even remember what he sounds like."

"Now you're just being dramatic... And most of the time he sounds like he's got gravel in his throat," Rachel cleared her own throat and squinted up at Peyton in a surprisingly accurate imitation of Lucas when he was thinking about something, "and he kind of gives you this sad puppy dog look, _like this_..."

Peyton laughed, "stop it."

"I'm so sorry Peyton, I love you, please take me back, I promise I'll remember to do a hundred sit ups a day to retain my fabulous abs-"

There was the sound of another throat being cleared behind them and Peyton stopped laughing abruptly as she saw Lucas leaning against the door frame. To her relief he looked faintly amused, "you were saying Rachel?"

"Oh no, you've caught me.... I feel so bad," Rachel dead panned, "no wait, that's right, I don't do emotions- that's for you girly types."

"Don't you have a _class_ Rachel?"

"No, I was busy keeping your _girlfriend_ company Lucas."

"By doing crappy impressions of me?"

"I was just making sure she didn't forget you."

"Well they were crappy. And stupid," he added stubbornly.

Rachel tilted her head, considering, "you know you'd think I'd be embarrassed but..." The red head shrugged, "I've seen you naked." She stood up and grabbed her bag, "call me later Thelma, Lucas, glad to see you at least remembered where your backbone is. Ciao." She sailed out of the room leaving Peyton twirling a pencil awkwardly and not quite meeting Lucas' eye.

So... Can I sit?"

"It's a free country," she murmured, pulling her sketchbook towards her and clearing some of the paper and clutter she'd managed to spread across the entire table. He sat down heavily, still staring at her and she sighed, "Luke-"

"How's your leg?" He interrupted and she saw his eyes flash with concern and sighed inwardly. It was cute but did he always have to make it about her?

"It's ok, not much pain, thanks."

"That's good."

"Yeah."

He stared at his hands for a moment and she wondered if this was going to be their relationship from now on. Long awkward silences punctuated by their friends giving them "knowing" looks and sympathetic smiles.

"Peyton, have you finished your piece?" Their art teacher appeared like a knight in shining denim and smiled crookedly, "you don't look like one of mine Mr Scott."

"No sir," Lucas stood up quickly, "I was just um- checking in."

"Just can't keep away from each other huh?" Mr Bloom grinned and clapped him on the back and then frowned slightly, "you did good carrying her out you know."

She felt something twist painfully in her chest as Lucas looked over at her and nodded slowly, "thanks," he finally muttered hoarsely, "Peyton I guess I'll see you later?"

She nodded, afraid of her own voice, "mm." More silence to look forward to.

"Great," Mr Bloom smiled again, completely unaware of the tension and then headed across the room.

She watched Lucas' back as he retreated from the room and sighed, looking down at her unfinished sketch. It was of Lucas- taken from a photograph of him at their last away game. He was practically flying up towards the hoop, his whole face completely focused and his body tense and graceful. Her sketch was nothing in comparison. There was something missing. SHe hated that she knew exactly what it was.

* * *

She went to bed at nine. Hey don't judge her ok? The day hadn't ended well what with two people accidently knocking into her and her books and crutches flying everywhere. She had new found respect for anyone who had broken legs and still went to work and actually did things in public. Nathan had driven her home, they hadn't bothered with small talk- both of them relieved the day was over and preparing for a long week. She had teased him slightly about the semi awkward slash cute hug he'd given Haley after third period. Both of them had walked away with goofy smiles on their faces and Peyton and Brooke had watched the whole thing in amusement whilst trying to finish their essay together. It was strange but now the barriers between them had been stripped she found it weirdly easy to talk to Brooke.

And Brooke had confessed that her tiny, totally unimportant crush on Jake might have kind of blown into a full on 'omygodilovehim' kind of thing. Maybe. Peyton had chuckled and told her to tell him. Brooke had looked at her scandalously, "I can't do that! What if he doesn't say it back?!"

"He watches you walk away, he listens to you even when you're ranting about cheerleading and his face lights up whenever you touch him," Peyton pulled a face, "yeah he _totally _doesn't love you."

"Shut up. You're in a relationship with no words."

"Ouchhhh!"

"Oh come on P Sawyer, everyone knows that you two'll work out. You're both kinda broody. You can just sit and brood together for a while."

She had narrowed her eyes, "I'm broody?"

"Yeah," Brooke had smirked, "and you can't even deny it."

"I can," she'd shot back stubbornly.

"Yeah well, I guess you're good with denial."

"Shut up!"

"You shut up!"

It had been nice. Talking abnout something completely unrelated to the _incident_. Brooke hadn't given her sad eyes and asked about her leg. Instead they'd talked about boys and music (Brooke had never heard of Tegan and Sara- Peyton had been horrified) and traded I Never scenarios- Brooke had never been skinny dipping, Peyton had been there, done that, _several _times. Peyton had never made out in the cinema. Brooke had stared at her like she'd grown a third head.

"What?" She'd shrugged, "I go for the _movie_, otherwise what's the point of even going in?"

It had kind of felt like maybe they were friends. Or going to be. Maybe. She was big on maybe's at the moment.

She rolled over sleepily, thinking about texting Rachel and asking if it was dangerous to become friends with your boyfriend's ex and froze. Shit. There was someone in her room. She glanced around quickly, where was that damn baseball bat Nathan had insisted she kept in her room? Or her dad? Had he not heard somebody come in?

The figure shifted, "you awake Peyton?"

"Luke?" She sat up, rubbing her eyes in confusion, "what are you doing here?"

"Your window was open."

"Oh... Yeah." He climbed in her window?! She didn't know whether that was as romantic as it sounded. After all- she thought the idea of the guy you loved watching you sleep was kind of one hundred per cent creepy. But it was cute he'd made the effort... Who the hell was this indecisive person she was playing these days?

They were silent for a moment and then Lucas sat forward, nearly burying his head in his hands, "I'm... I'm sorry," he whispered.

She frowned, what the hell was going on? "Uh- what for?"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face, he looked exhausted, "I don't know- everything- for the way I've been this week."

"Luke, you went through something so painful- all of us did- you don't have to apologise for reacting to it in any way."

His eyes met hers in the dark, "but I still hurt you."

"You saved my life-"

"That doesn't automatically let me off the hook for every time I'm a jackass to you for the next eighty years Peyt!"

She decided to ignore the big scary _eighty years_ drop in and instead ran a hand through her awkwardly, "what do you want me to say Luke?"

"I want you to be mad at me! I want you to yell and-"

"I'm not mad! I'm not I- I _understand_."

He stood up suddenly, "but I don't need you to say you understand- I _know_ you do." He had begun to pace and it was making her head hurt watching him, "I need- I need you to be mad so that we can get back to normal. Don't you get that? I need things to be normal again!"

She bowed her head for a second, realisation hitting her. She sighed heavily, "but Luke, things aren't going to be normal for a really long time."

He stared at her desperately, "but I _need_ them to be Peyt. I really need- god I need you to tell me how to fix it."

"I'm so sorry Luke," she stared at her hands, "I know you don't want me to say that but- I don't know what I can say to fix this." She swallowed and tipped her head back, "god I don't know what to say."

"And _I_ don't know what to do Peyton." God he sounded lost. He sounded completely broken.

She took a breath, "well you can stop picking a fight with me to start with."

He winced, "I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Yes you are."

"I don't want to."

"But you are anyway," she pointed at herself, "I'm the master at this Luke. Push until whoever it is you're pushing gives up, walks away, lets you fester by yourself..." She crossed her arms, "well tough luck because like you said to me once, I'm not going anywhere."

He looked at her with wide eyes; startled and there was a silence as they stared across at each other in the darkness. Finally she gave in to what her heart was telling her to do and sighed, "Luke come here."

"What- where?"

She patted the bed, "if we're gonna argue I'd rather you did it on my level so that I at least don't crane my neck and end up all uncomfortable tomorrow."

He huffed out what could have been a laugh and then came over slowly; settling beside her on the bed, gingerly resting is legs next to hers with the covers between them. She shifted and waited for her eyes to adjust to the light. "Better?"

"Yeah," he exhaled hard, leaning his head back against the wall behind them, "I'm so tired Peyt."

"I know, me too." Tentatively she lifted a hand and pushed his hair back, he didn't pull away, she felt like she had a won a minor battle right there.

He caught her hand suddenly and held it tightly, "you still wanna argue?" There was a slight teasing note to his voice and she took heart from it, lifting an eyebrow in warning.

"I don't know... I'm still mad at you."

"I know."

"But I don't wanna argue anymore."

"Me either," he said softly, he lifted her chin to gaze at her intently, "I don't want to argue with you ever again."

"You won't have to if you don't disappear on me again."

"I'll try," he squeezed his eyes shut, "I just... I'm not good at talking this kind of stuff out."

"I know Luke, I know you remember?"

"Yeah I do."

"So we'll stay like this?"

"If you'll have me..."

That was a loaded question and she knew it. It wasn't just about tonight and the temporary peace they had found in each other. The pain they carried was bone deep .She knew things wouldn't be easy for any of them for a long time; that the incident had changed all of them and it had deeply scarred Lucas. There would be times when he wasn't going to want to let her in and her instincts would kick in and she'd want to run like hell.

But she'd have to make herself stay.

They'd have to get past it, _together_. She'd have to push and she'd hate it... But she'd do it.

Hell she'd do anything for him.

She smiled faintly, "I will; even if you don't have amazing abs."

This time he really laughed, "god that's not fair!"


	24. Our Own Language, Our Own Fix

**A/N: So, I am a bad updater, I know this and I'm sorry! You know when you get some kind of harsh comments and that kind of makes you go, ugh, I hate my writing, I can't do it anymore!? I did that. But then my BFF told me to suck it up and I did lol. So, angst behind us for a while on all counts, yay! And I really appreciate all **_**your**_** feedback guys!**

**Disclaimer: Pretty obvious at this point. But I don't own! Nor do I own Grey's Anatomy or any quotes from said program.**

The horn blared loudly for the third time and Peyton groaned, clutching the banister, for god's sake, it was taking her a while ok?! "Shut up, I'm coming!"

Gingerly she made her way to the bottom of the stairs and out onto the porch ready to yell at Nathan some more when she spotted all her friends grinning widely at her from the cars. Rachel was leaning out of the back passenger window with Bevin over her shoulder beaming at her and Skillz and Jake were leaning over the top of the second car chuckling. Brooke was smiling- somewhat guiltily at least- from up front and in the second car Nathan and Haley were full on laughing at her. She scowled, "you all suck. Do you know how wrong it is to mock a cripple?"

Nathan laughed again and hit the horn excitedly, "come on, come on! Daylight's a wastin' Sawyer." He looked like a gleeful seven year old on Christmas morning and she couldn't help but grin back; it was contagious.

Lucas appeared huffing behind her, "what did you pack in this thing Peyton?!"

"Nothing! I mean just clothes and stuff-"

"She'll have all her favourite albums in there," Rachel cut in lazily, examining her nails, "she won't leave home without them just in case."

Peyton felt her face heat up as Lucas turned to look at her, amusement etched onto his face, "is she serious?"

"What?" She lifted her chin defiantly, "I like having them with me."

"We're going to the country Peyt- you're not going to need them and they weigh a ton! Can't you just leave them?"

"She can't do that; there might be a fire."

Lucas spluttered in surprise while Nathan snorted with laughter from the car.

"Fire is a serious hazard," Peyton said crossly, glowering at Rachel in warning.

"And you don't have a special fire proof safe you could keep them in?" Luke's eyes danced in amusement even as he tried to keep a straight face.

"No, not yet."

"I could help you make one if you like."

She narrowed her eyes, "are you mocking me?"

"No, I would _never_ do that."

"I'm keeping the cds," she said stubbornly, "and you'll be glad of them when you get sick of Nathan's choices for road trip music."

"_Hey_! I have great taste!"

"Pfft, yeah."

"Just get in the car Sawyer, before I leave your broken ass here."

"_Nathan_!"

He looked at his wife apologetically, "sorry. I just really wanna get theeeere," he whined.

Peyton clambered into the car semi gracefully/without falling over or cussing too much and smiled gratefully at Lucas who had held her elbow the entire time.

"You ok?"

She nodded, "you?"

He smiled, it was small- shy almost- but it was there and his eyes were warm, "yeah, kinda looking forward to this actually."

"Me too."

"If you two are done with the heart to heart," Nathan cut in, leaning over the back of his chair, "can you get in your side of the car ok bro or do you need a lift up too?"

Briefly Lucas touched her hair before turning to scowl at his brother, "you want me to kick the back of your chair all the way there?"

"If you want me to kick your ass when we arrive, go for it."

Peyton rolled her eyes, "you two need some time alone? Cos Hales and I can take my car."

Haley chuckled whilst rummaging around in her bag for a book and both Nathan and Lucas shot Peyton identical sulky glares. She smiled innocently back and wiggled her eyebrows, "All American Rejects new album?"

Nathan took it grumpily, "do I have a choice?"

"No," Haley reached and out and rubbed soothing circles on his shoulder, "we took a vote and mine and Peyton's votes count twice."

"Why?"

"Because we have superior music knowledge," Peyton said simply, "durr." She sat forward, "so what do you think of it so far Hales?"

Haley glanced at the copy of _The_ _Tiger in the Well _and widened her eyes as she nodded, "so good. The language he uses and god the descriptions! And Sally gets so much more passionate and powerful in every book."

"I know right? I thought she was badass killing Axel but wait till you get to the end of this one."

"Still," Haley looked mournful for a moment, "I don't know why Frederick had to die for her to be shown as an independent woman."

Peyton sighed, "I know. I guess it's just the writer's way of setting her in contrast to the rest of Victorian society."

"Ok, I need to see this book you guys are talking about," Lucas said leaning forward and grabbing the book off his best friend, "is it all in third person?"

"Dear god," Nathan muttered to himself, "I'm stuck in a car full of geeks."

The walkie talkie on the dashboard they were using just in case they lost the car ahead crackled into life, "it could be worse," Jake's voice said mournfully, "the girls are discussing which vampire they like the most from Vampire Diaries."

"Stefan," they heard Bevin say stubbornly.

"Damon is the only badass thing about the show," Rachel shot back.

"Can't we agree they're both equally gorgeous?" Brooke's attempt at brokering peace was immediately ignored.

"Stefan's like the good guy Rachel!"

"Stefan's like the _boring_ one Bev."

"He doesn't _kill _people."

"Yeah well he sure as hell doesn't look like Damon shirtless."

"He looks _better_."

"Ladies, can't we agree my boy Jake and I are better cos we aint fictional characters?"

Peyton sniggered and reached for her own battered copy of Alice In Wonderland, whilst Lucas and Nathan delved into a discussion over which team would provide the most competition for their own team in the months to come before the Championship.

* * *

"Alright," Rachel walked backwards into the house gesturing around them, "main living room, kitchen in the back, you can all fight it out for bedrooms- jut stay the hell out of the room at the end of the corridor- that's mine."

"Wow," Peyton breathed out as they followed her inside, "I mean... wow."

"I know," Lucas murmured, "you could fit my whole house in here."

She laughed, "mine too," she grabbed his hand, "come on- I wanna good room."

He squeezed her hand and they wandered up the stairs, listening to Brooke and Nathan argue over one of the rooms.

"The walls are pink Nathan, _pink_! What are you, a girl?!"

"This one has the biggest tv Davis; it'll be wasted on you and Jake."

"You- we're not- shut up and get out Nate- I got here first," there was silence for a second and then the sounds of a struggle before Brooke shrieked, "Nathan, put me down! Get off me!"

Nathan staggered into the corridor almost knocking into Lucas and Peyton, with Brooke flung over his good shoulder, "hey guys."

"Put me _down_ Nathan!"

"What's goin' on?" He leant against the wall whilst Brooke continued to kick at his back.

"Nathan!"

"Maybe you should put her down Nate," Peyton said laughing.

"Naw- she's got tiny fists but they _hurt_- it's easier this way."

"_Nathan_!"

"Nate!" Jake jogged up the stairs and pulled Brooke gently out of Nathan's arms, "you can have whatever room you want man."

"What?! That's not fair!"

"Brooke just trust me, it doesn't matter what room we have ok?"

She stared up at him for a moment dubiously and then relented, "fine! Damn you and your puppy dog eyes- they're more powerful than the Scott boy's combined."

Jake beamed and waggled his eyebrows at the brothers, "you hear that? I'm way more awesome than both of you."

"Lies Jagelski, lies," Nathan said shaking his head, "she's only saying that cos-"

"Nathan I swear to god-" Brooke advanced on him once more and Jake grabbed he rround the waist.

"Let's go this way."

He guided Brooke down the hall, murmuring about a room with a nicer view and Brooke glanced over her shoulder to scowl one last time at Nathan- who stuck his tongue out in return.

"So what do you think?" Lucas casually hooked an arm around Peyton's waist and tugged her into the room on the right, "this one?"

"Oooh," she examined it carefully and then raised an eyebrow at him, "not too shabby."

"Ahh I could definitely get used to this," he exclaimed, dropping down onto the huge bed and smiling up at her.

She watched him for a second; just appreciating the fact that he was actually smiling, no empty shell, no heavy eyes, no dark shadows. She lay down beside him and he adjusted his arm so that they were connected from feet to shoulder, comfortably leaning on one another.

He ran his fingers across her wrist slowly, "Peyt?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think Rachel will let me go on one of the quad bikes?"

She laughed, caught off guard by his serious tone, "if you're nice to her."

"I'm not sure I know how to do that," he said grinning suddenly.

"I'll help you."

He shifted so that he was twisted towards her, "seriously though, you ok?"

"Luke... I'm ok," she said softly, "really. Are you?"

"Yeah," he leant forward to kiss her gently, "I'm glad we came."

"You can lead with that."

"What do you mean?"

"With Rachel," she smirked, "if you're going to be nice to her, lead with thank you for having us- girls kinda like it when you acknowledge they have awesome ideas."

He laughed and rolled away from her to stand up, "I'll keep it in mind."

* * *

Later, when Lucas, Nathan and Jake had disappeared to go and play at being five year old boys, Peyton shifted on the window seat and flipped open her book. Finally she would be able to find out if Anne and Gilbert would ever get it together and start making out.

"Seriously blondie, we're here in the great outdoors and you're gonna sit up here and read?" Rachel's incredulous voice broke the three seconds of peace and Peyton scowled up at her.

"It's not like I can go gallivanting around in the woods with this stupid thing," she said gesturing to her leg.

"We could go for a walk," Rachel suggested, perching beside her, "you can still do exercise right? I mean I hope you can- don't want you getting fat on me."

"I'm not really a _fan _of exercise."

"So you wanna be the only cheerleader that can't lift her leg higher than her waist?"

Peyton sighed dramatically and lowered her book, "if I come for a walk do you promise to leave me alone after so that I can finish this?"

"Maybe," the red head rolled her eyes as she looked at the cover, "Anne of Green Gables Peyton? _Really_?"

"I like the prose!" She protested, "plus you know, Anne is kind of like you."

"No she's not!"

"Ha, so you've read it then?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes, "when I was like seven- it's a classic, all girls _under ten_ _years old_ read it."

"Yeah well I was busy reading Proust back then."

"Come on," Rachel jumped up and grabbed her hand, "it's still nice out- I might get some sun."

"You definitely need it," Peyton nodded seriously, "you're beginning to look a bit like a vampire. Next you might start sparkling."

Rachel glowered at her, "don't even go there."

"You'd make a pretty vampire Rach."

"Shut up."

They made their way down stairs where Brooke and Haley were curled up on the sofa, "hey you guys wanna come for a walk?"

Haley scrunched up her nose, "exercise?"

"That's what I said!"

Brooke chuckled, "I think we're pretty comfy here."

"The boys might come by while we're out," Rachel said casually, "you know, riding past all dirty and hot..."

"I'll get my shoes," Brooke said jumping up, Haley followed giggling.

"You're doing a good thing you know," Peyton murmured quietly as the two of them were left alone in the living room.

Rachel blinked in confusion, "what are you talking about?"

"You know," Peyton nudged her shoulder, "bringing everybody here... Haley..."

"Oh god, are we about to have a girl talk about our _feelings_?"

"No, course not," she shuddered, "we don't need to do that. But I'm just saying-"

"I know," Rachel replied softly, "and thanks."

"And you're sure you're ok with-"

"Peyton! I'm fine, I promise. Besides," Rachel quirked an eyebrow, "Mr. Eads should provide challenge enough for a while."

Peyton snorted, "glad to hear you're moving on to someone so obtainable."

"I'm irresistible, haven't you heard? He's got no chance."

"Let me guess," Brooke reappeared wrapped in a thick scarf, "Rachel's already plotting ways to get the delectable Mr Eads naked?"

"Oh lord," Haley groaned as she stepped outside with them, sliding an arm through Peyton's to help her down the steps, "don't scare him away _please_ Rachel- he's a good teacher!"

"I'm not going to stop him from teaching- he'll just be unavailable after class."

They made their way out to the swing bench and the four of them sat down together. Peyton itched to reach for her cigarettes and as if she was reading her mind Rachel slapped her hand, "bad blondie."

"I'm on like one a day!"

"It's so bad for you Peyton."

"And it'll make your teeth look gross."

"And your breath smell."

"And-"

"Ok!" She scowled at the three beaming faces beside her and rolled her eyes, shaking the pack, "last packet ok?"

"Seriously?"

"Sure- just so long as you all know I'm gonna be a raging bitch for at least a month once I finish them."

"You're saying you're not already?" Rachel asked innocently. The laughter from Brooke and Haley lasted at least five minutes- Peyton pretended to be interested in the dirt in front of her.

* * *

Lucas collapsed down next to Peyton on the sofa and groaned, "oooh man I am not moving for at least twelve hours."

She laughed; book marked her page and ran a hand through his hair, "you have fun?"

His eyes lit up as he looked at her, "it was awesome Peyt- I kicked Nate's ass."

"You lie Luke," Nathan called out from the kitchen, "I beat you fair and square."

"I don't know why you're both arguing when I was clearly the best racer by far," Jake cut in, grinning widely from the chair he was squashed in with Brooke.

"I cannot believe you missed it man," Lucas said glancing at Skillz.

Skillz smirked and lifted an eyebrow at his girlfriend, "well you know- sometimes you gotta stay indoors."

Bevin swatted his arm, "_babe_!"

"Alright food," Rachel called out.

"Did _you _cook it yourself or did Haley do most of it?" Brooke asked suspiciously as they made their way to the table.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at her, "I'm a fabulous cook sweetie, so shut up and eat ok?"

Peyton sniggered and then turned back to Lucas who was still on the sofa beside her with his eyes closed, "you not hungry?"

"Mmf, wanna eat here," he muttered.

"There's garlic bread..."

"No, too sleepy," he twisted and buried his head in her shoulder. "Nathan," he yelled- his voice muffled in Peyton's jumper, "be a good little brother and bring me food please."

Nathan snorted from where he was sitting, "yeah I'll get right on that." He took a bite of his chicken, "_dammmn_ this is good Luke, _reaaaally_ good."

Lucas sighed, "I'm gonna have to get up right?"

"Yep," Peyton smiled down at him, "you can lie down after dinner."

"Oh yeah?" He raised his eyebrows at her, "you gonna come with me?"

"Maybe." They were silent for a second, his fingers tracing patterns over her hand and her eyes locked with his. He looked so freaking adorable with his slow and sleepy smile and his hair sticking up at all angles from the helmets they'd all been wearing.

"When you two are done thinking about what you're going to do later- which by the way- I am going to pretend is hand holding and _nothing_ more- this food isn't gonna be here all night," Nathan called from across the room.

Lucas laughed and dropped his head back against the sofa for a second before standing and tugging Peyton up gently, winding his fingers with hers as they crossed the living room and into the kitchen.

After dinner Rachel pulled out a tequila bottle and set it on the table with ten shot glasses, "you guys think you can handle some shots?"

"I think it might put Lucas to sleep," Peyton said teasingly, elbowing her boyfriend out of his stupor.

He shot up from leaning on his arms and blinked dazedly, "hmm? What we doing?"

"Lightweight," Nathan snorted.

"Hand them out Rach," Lucas said loudly, glaring at his brother across the table.

Brooke kicked both their legs, "quit acting like four year olds you two- or they'll be no quad bikes for you tomorrow."

"I think the girls should have a turn tomorrow actually," Peyton announced, "what do you reckon Hales- you think you could handle it?"

Haley beamed, "hell yeah."

"I don't know Peyt- you think you'll be alright?" Lucas frowned in concern and she laughed.

"Luke I'll be fine- I'll even to the kid's route if you like."

"There's a kid's route?"

"No," she said smirking.

He rolled his eyes, "I'm _serious_!"

"So am I. I promise I'll be careful ok?"

He looked at her doubtfully and then squeezed her hand underneath the table, "ok."

"Alright, drink if you've got two hands," Rachel called as she passed the glasses down.

They all looked at her in confusion, "two hands?"

She shrugged, "you start out with the obvious things, drink if you've got two hands, drink if you're a guy, drink if you cried at the end of Armageddon-" she shot a look in Peyton's direction- "kinda like I never except without the lame 'I never' bit."

"I like I never," Bevin protested. "_I_ _never_ played this stupid version."

Everyone laughed and drank, Rachel rolled her eyes, "you guys are so stuck in your ways." She poured the tenth shot glass on the floor and Haley gasped in surprise, looking around for a cloth.

"Rachel!"

"It's for Mouth," Rachel said quietly. Haley's face immediately softened and she sat back, grabbing Nathan's hand.

There was a silence for a moment and then Jake sat forward and said softly, "I never watched an episode of the Vampire Diaries."

It broke the mood and Nathan let out a shout of laughter as all of the girls and Skillz drank.

"Dude!"

"Aw I know man- but Bevin loves it and you know I do right by my lady- I gotta keep her happy."

"You liked it too," Bevin protested stubbornly.

Skillz's eyes widened and he coughed awkwardly, "yeah uh- I never said that."

"You did too!"

"I never ate an entire tub of ice cream," Lucas cut in- Skillz shot him a grateful look.

Peyton and Brooke both drank and Peyton turned to look at Rachel incredulously, "liar! I've seen you demolish a pint of Ben and Jerry's _several_ times."

"Trick of the light," Rachel said dismissively, "there was always some left."

"Yeahhh- drink it Gattina."

"Fine- it's not like it'll be affecting me anyway."

"We'll see!"

"I never went into a convenience store half naked, with _Raven's Suck _written on my back," Haley said suddenly.

Both Lucas and Nathan's jaws dropped and they looked at her in horror, "how did you-"

She shrugged, "got a friend on the student committee at Pontiac, he shared some very interesting stories about some crazy Ravens boys last time I saw him."

Nathan groaned, "I officially have _no _secrets."

"That's definitely how it should be," Haley said laughing as both boys drank.

"I never fell off the top of a _perfectly _co-ordinated pyramid and broke my own nose."

Brooke scowled at Rachel and drank reluctantly.

"I never got caught fooling around in the showers at school," Lucas offered, "by _Whitey_."

Nathan groaned and drank before enduring a full minute of Peyton laughing at him. She still hadn't heard all the stories of his teenage years pre-Haley- and he had hoped she wouldn't find out most of them- she already had enough ammunition on him for years of teasing.

"I never elbowed my boyfriend in the face," Nathan said grinning evilly in Peyton's direction when she had finished laughing.

Her face immediately dropped and she scowled at him, "you so suck."

"_Drink _up!"

"I never cried when Denny died on Grey's Anatomy," she shot back at him.

"Dude you did what?!"

"Nate seriously?!"

Nathan stared at his best friend stonily, "you're so dead."

"Won't that just make you cry more?"

He drank his shot and then stood up, advancing towards her and she laughed and pushed Lucas in front of him, "don't even think about it- I'm injured!"

"Oh I'll show you injured!"

"Wait," Jake pointed at Skillz, "dude you drank?"

"What man? It was sad!"

Rachel rolled her eyes, poured another shot on the floor and then said shortly, "I think I'm gonna turn in guys- can someone make sure the back is locked up?"

Nathan lifted a hand and nodded at her, "I'll do it."

"Thanks," she said softly before waving at the rest of the table, "night guys."

"Thelma," Peyton called, leaning back in her chair to look after her friend as she headed across the living room, "you ok?"

Rachel nodded and shrugged slightly, "I told you Peyt- I'm good."

Peyton watched her go thoughtfully and then dropped back to the table.

"You're not sleeping in our room tonight are you?" Lucas asked quietly.

She pulled a face, "would you mind? I think she needs the company."

He brushed the hair out of her face and then pulled her close to kiss her, "you're a pretty damn good person Peyton Elizabeth."

"Well right back at you," she said smiling brightly as she ran her hands across his jaw and then stood up, dropping a kiss on the top of his head, "make it up to you tomorrow?"

"You always do," he said smirking. She blushed and hit his shoulder.

Ten minutes later she flicked off the light beside the bed and tugged the covers over herself and Rachel. She was aware she was fussing and that Rachel had said she was fine but she just didn't want her to be alone- she knew how crap that felt and she didn't want her friend to ever feel that way. They were all in this together and she might not be good at the chick flick stuff but she could be there... she could _try_.

"You don't have to do this you know," Rachel said quietly.

"Shut up," she retorted without pause, "you're like- my person or something- I'm here and you know..." She struggled for words that weren't corny and then said again finally, "I'm here Rach."

"You've been watching too much Grey's Anatomy."

"You watch it religiously with me every Thursday!"

Rachel sighed and shifted onto her back, mirroring Peyton's own position, "so, do we have to have that talk about our feelings now?"

"God no- unless you want to?"

"Na uh."

There was a silence and Peyton felt herself drifting off.

Rachel moved again in the dark, "Peyt?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."

She reached across in the darkness and squeezed Rachel's hand briefly.

"You're my person," she said sleepily.

"You too."

They weren't good at the talking and they wouldn't have impressed any psychologists, but hell this was what _they _needed. Peyton thought wildly if Lucas would ever do this for Jake or Nathan and resisted the urge to laugh out loud. She rolled over and sniggered into her pillow. That would be hilarious to see.


	25. Can't Break All Falls

**A/N: 3 DAYS AND I WILL BE FREE! my stupid dissertation is ha, kind of done and then finally i can get back to just writing LP fluff. i am beyond excited. in fact, if i could insert a gif it would be that one of Misha's face on that swiss guy dancing on a bus at a festival- i'm sure any MC minions know what i'm talking about... i'm not crazy. but I AM EXCITED. also, advance warning, the next chapter (and kind of this one, will have some angst but um, more fluff. i can't help it.)**

**Disclaimer: i don't even own that gif. i don't own anything mkay.**

"Hey blondie- you in?"

Peyton glanced in the direction of her window and smirked, "no, I'm not home right now, I guess you'll have to climb back down."

"Ha ha."

Lucas had begun to use her window as his own personal front door. It wasn't that she minded at all, she just wondered whether he had realised her dad still knew every time he came to the house.

"Boy thinks just because he parks that car of his further up the road I don't see it or something?!" Larry had said chuckling over breakfast one morning.

Peyton had rolled her eyes, "leave it dad- you said he was allowed to stay."

"It'd be polite of him to knock every once and a while! He remembers who I am right?"

"Dad, last time he was over you sat in the living room cleaning weapons- I think he's pretty clear on that."

"I'm just _saying_." And he was. He wasn't threatening Lucas, or their relationship. These days her dad was remarkably laid back; she suspected it had something to do with _that day_. Now it appeared Lucas could roll up with a motorbike, smoking a joint and waving around a bottle of Jack's and her dad would probably merrily wave them off to a rave.

Ok maybe not.

But still. It was kinda cool that he had mellowed just a smidge.

She closed her book as Lucas dropped onto the floor and rolled over to grin at her from his position underneath the window, "hey there Peyton Elizabeth."

She lifted an eyebrow, "cheery greeting, wide smile... who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend? He kinda looks like you, just you know, broods a whole lot more."

He chuckled and made his way over to the bed, leaning down to kiss her before sitting beside her, "you're funny." He did a double take, "wait I _brood_?"

"Better than anyone else I know."

"Naw, really? Come on! I don't brood as much as Nathan!"

"Uh huh- way more; he's all cheery at the moment cos you guys are playing awesome and Hales decided that you know, she kinda loves him- despite the fact he's a doofus," she added fondly. "So you win hands down..." He pouted and she smirked, "if it helps, I've never had a problem with the whole dark and broody thing, you realise who you're talking to right?"

He laughed, "that _is_ true. And I'm glad to hear it."

"Anyway, not that I'm complaining but why the swing by?"

He flopped back onto her pillow and beamed, "my mom's getting married!"

"Luke, that's so great!"

"Yeah I know," he rolled over slightly to look at her, "she and my Uncle Keith have been doing this crazy dance for so long- I'm glad they've finally seen sense."

"Sounds familiar," she mused.

He laughed and twined their fingers together, "yeah except I was completely irresistible so it took you like, fifteen minutes to decide I was awesome, rather than like, fifteen years."

"Oh I think you're awesome do I?"

"Yup," he slid over to kiss her, "it's undeniable."

"I think the words you're actually looking for-" she said between kisses, "are egotistical... arrogant..."

"Peyton," Larry burst into the room, barely looking at Lucas, "Christ son use the door for once-" Peyton sat up, practically pushing Lucas off the bed.

"Dad, knock much?!"

"It's Ellie," Larry said quickly.

"What's happened?"

Larry was already disappearing back down the stairs, "get your coat- we've gotta get to the hospital!"

"Oh god Luke-" she slipped off the bed, looking around and Lucas passed her the jacket she'd started looking for.

"You want me to come?"

"I- yeah, yes please, if that's ok?" She fixed her eyes on him and he nodded firmly.

"Of course," he grabbed her hand, "come on, let's go."

* * *

"I'm fine!" Ellie attempted to push back the covers Peyton had already pulled up twice, "honestly I don't know why you're all worrying so much!"

"You collapsed Ellie- on the _street_," Peyton bit her lip, "what if you'd been alone?"

"I was a little dehydrated- it was probably too much coffee and not enough water for a few days," the older woman tried to give her daughter a reassuring smile and squeezed her hand, "really I feel fine."

"You don't look fine.

"Well thank you very much!"

"That's not what I meant!"

Ellie chuckled and then her smile faded as Larry reappeared looking stern with a doctor by his side, "you haven't been taking your meds Ellie?"

"I-"

Peyton blinked at her father and then turned to Ellie incredulously, "what were you _thinking_?!"

"I was thinking that the drugs make me woozy and tired _all_ the time and I just needed a _break_. It's not a big deal."

"You're not a teenager anymore," Larry said crossly, "you can't do stupid ass impulsive things like that!"

"Look," Ellie rubbed the bridge of her nose, "I appreciate your concern, _really_. But this is _my_ life. I can't spend it trapped in hospitals and in a body that's not working anymore."

Peyton stared at her, "_excuse me_?!"

"I didn't mean-"

"No, _hell _no!" She stood up from the chair she'd been perched on next to the bed, glaring at Ellie, "you came looking for _me_ Ellie! You got involved in _my_ life and now you're telling me what? That you're gonna be disappearing from it again? And not just temporarily but _permanently_?! God, screw you!"

"_Peyton Sawyer_!" Her father stepped fully into the room just as the doctor backed out of it wordlessly and both Ellie and Peyton fell silent, looking at him apprehensively. "Both of you keep quiet until I say otherwise. Now, it is not good for you to be standing Peyton-"

"Dad-"

"Do _not_ interrupt me! And you Ellie-"

"Larry really-"

"What did I just say?! It isn't good for you to be stressing out Ellie and Peyton you should know better than to yell at someone older than you- let alone someone you respect and care about. Now sit down and be quiet!"

Peyton sat obediently and Lucas arrived in the room with a tray of drinks and his eyes wide, "was there a fire? I could hear yelling from down the hall!"

Larry rolled his eyes and scrubbed a hand over his face, "nope, just our girls getting a bit over emotional-"

"_Over emotional__?!_"

"_I am not over emotional!_"

"What did I say?"

They both fell silent again and Larry sat down with a satisfied nod, taking one of the coffees and smiling gratefully at Lucas. "So you do know how to use a door on occasion then kid?"

Lucas felt his face heat up and he looked at the linoleum floor in embarrassment, "uh- yeah."

Ellie chuckled, "leave the kid be Larry, at least he doesn't have tattoos."

Peyton let out a sharp laugh and shot Lucas a look, "_yeah_," she tilted her head to one side, "he's totally a good boy right? Absolutely _no _tattoos."

"Shut up," he said grinning despite himself.

She shook her head, blonde curls falling in her face before she stood up and stretched, "I'm just gonna go outside for a second."

"Peyton-"

"I'm fine, really dad." She tried to smile at him reassuringly, "Ellie _you _won't go anywhere will you?" She tried to keep her tone light but her eyes were almost fearful as she looked at her mother, holy shit, _her mother_, lying in a hospital bed looking painfully thin and like a parallel Peyton just didn't want to think about right now. She couldn't be here. She just... couldn't.

Larry nodded finally, his eyes assessing, "sure. Don't go far."

She rolled her eyes, "you drove us here dad; where d'you think I'm gonna go?"

"Knowing you, you'd find a way. Hitch a lift to somewhere like, oh I don't know, _Mexico_," he said darkly before turning to Ellie, "did I tell you about that?"

"No!" Ellie's eyes widened with glee, "_Mexico_ Peyton?"

"That's funny," Lucas said drily, "she never mentioned Mexico to me either."

Peyton grabbed his hand, pointing at her father, "that was a long time ago and be quiet!"

"But I wanna hear about Mexico!" Lucas complained as she dragged him down the corridor.

They stopped outside and she took a few deep breaths, bending her knees and dropping to the nearest bench. Lucas placed a gentle hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles across it and she leant into the touch.

"Oh god," she whispered, "this was _so _not the plan for today."

"Tell me about it," he said grinning mischievously.

She smirked, "you realise that you're making sex jokes outside a hospital right? That's all kinds of wrong Lucas Scott."

He paled, "oh crap. I am a seriously bad person!"

"Oh my god I was kidding!" She sat up and twisted towards him; and he pulled her legs over his own, careful of her still fresh scar and ran a hand up her calf. "It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one," she said finally.

"You're the opposite of a bad person Peyton," he said softly.

"But I don't want to be here," she admitted quietly, "I don't want to do this again Luke. I already-" she stopped, her breathing suddenly ragged again, "I can't do it again."

"Peyton," he breathed, taking her hand and twinning their fingers together in his habitual way, "this is different. Ellie's not going anywhere right now."

"Yeah _now_," she shifted uncomfortably, as if she wanted to pull away from him- run somewhere maybe- and his grip on her hand tightened. "But you should have heard her Luke. She was talking about feeling trapped and how much she hated her body letting her down-" she broke away from him suddenly and stood up, "she sounded like she was starting to make peace with something and I am _not_ at peace with that!"

"You don't have to be- hell I'd think it was weird if you were ok with it all."

"Then what do I do Luke?! I can't force her to stick around just for me!"

"Why not? Peyton, you're her daughter-"

"That didn't keep her around last time," she blurted out suddenly.

He paused, looking at her silently as the spring sun lit up her face making her look so beautiful and _so_ fragile... Slowly he got up and wrapped his arms around her, "she wasn't the woman she is now back then Peyton. She was just a screwed up kid and now, now she's here and she _loves_ you. She's not the same. If you ask her to fight, I know she will."

She pulled away to look him in the eye, biting her lip and for a moment they stood, looking at one another. Finally she nodded, "ok."

"Ok?"

"Ok yes, I'll- I don't know- tell her I don't want her to go anywhere."

"That works both ways you know?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean you can't go anywhere either. No running off to Mexico or pushing us away when you freak out."

"Us?"

He scowled, "are you being purposefully slow?"

"Slow?" She smirked, "what is slow?"

"You are beyond frustrating!"

"But you want me to stick around huh?"

"You'd have thought you'd got that by now, considering the whole, me being in love with you thing."

"Eh," she shrugged, "hearing it kind of never gets old."

He draped an arm around her shoulder as they walked back into the building, "so you're not gonna chicken out on me are you?"

"Course not! I would never-"

"Yeah save it baby, you haven't got much of a leg to stand on with your track record."

"Hey! I've stuck around recently," she gave him a meaningful look, "besides I'm not the only one who's good at running, I just do it _physically_ so it _seems _more obvious."

He nodded slowly, feeling guilty suddenly, "you're right, that wasn't entirely fair. Sorry."

"S'ok," she said easily, "you're actually the most amazing person I've ever met so I'm ok with you being wrong once in a while." She made her way towards the elevator leaving him standing stock still in surprise.

He hurried to catch up with her and followed her into the busy elevator. He decided he didn't care if anyone else heard their conversation and turned to her, "did you seriously mean that?"

"Does it really surprise you that much?" She was examining a fingernail and he snatched her hand away from her face, he didn't get how she could be nonchalant. She never said that kind of thing _ever_. She smiled sweetly up at him and he stared down, lost in her eyes and feeling confused as hell.

"Peyton-"

"_Lucas_."

"You're crazy you know that?"

She laughed, "I've been told."

The doors opened and a worried looking Rachel was standing outside them, "_I'm at the hospital please come_?!" She screeched making Lucas worry for his ears and for everyone else standing around them.

Peyton pulled an apologetic face, "um, yes?"

"PEYTON!" Rachel wrapped a well manicured hand around her friend's wrist and tugged her semi-gently out of the elevator and down the hall, muttering the entire time, "seriously! _Seriously_. Who sends stupid garbled text messages like that to their best friends in the middle of the day and then gets busy having moments with their boyfriend in elevators?! Christ we're _actually_ a soap opera."

"Ok, is this your way of saying you're kind of mad?"

"You couldn't have been more _specific_? I was in the middle of a bikini wax!"

Lucas winced; as did the nurse who was passing and Rachel's face flamed up briefly before she recovered, "you scared the crap out of me!"

"I'm sorry! Really, I didn't know how bad it was until we got here."

"And Ellie is fine- I saw her myself, she told me an interesting story involving you, Mexico and a guy called Christian which ended with a brawl in a cafeteria, but _still_! That's not the point!"

Peyton really did look remorseful for a moment and then smiled, "it's nice that you came though, nice that you were concerned."

"Oh no- don't you even go there turning the sappy emotions on _me_ blondie! Of course I was concerned, the last time we were all here I didn't sleep for a freaking week I was so worried! That fills my worry quota for a year- not to mention the damage you are doing to my skin with all these damn wrinkles and mini heart attacks you're giving me."

"Get in line," Lucas muttered. Peyton shot him a look and he smirked and held up a hand, "I'm just saying, it's true, we _worry_."

As if on cue a harassed looking Nathan appeared from the stair well, breathing hard and wearing his gym gear, "what's happened?!" He dived towards them, clutching Peyton's arm, "is everyone ok? What's going on?"

She looked _really_ apologetic now, "oh god guys, I'm sorry, I didn't realise the message sounded so bad."

Nathan looked his friends up and down and then let out a sigh, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes briefly, "you all look like you still have four limbs and heads, why am I here?"

"I umm- thought I was gonna need you," Peyton said feeling mortified at having to admit it _again_.

Rachel rolled her eyes, "well now that we're all here and Peyton has admitted she actually has a heart, if not a brain-"

"Hey!"

"Are you staying with Ellie or do you wanna come get a drink? I feel like I need at least five to get over the trauma of having to run out of the damn clinic in very few clothes."

Nathan's eyes widened, "jesus Rach what were you _doing_ when you got the text?!"

"Oh for god's sake, nothing like that," she snapped, "keep your brain out of the gutter."

He chuckled, "you make it hard sometimes."

"And you make it real easy looking all gross and sweaty and _ugh_- you need to shower Nate."

Nathan scowled, "I was at the river court- I _ran_ here."

"Well-"

"Alright stop," Peyton stepped between them and gestured down the hall, "I'm gonna go speak to Ellie and then we'll get out of here ok? Don't kill each other while I'm gone- Lucas you're in charge."

"Wow, you must almost never hear that sentence," Rachel said grinning evilly at Lucas who gave her a dark look. Nathan let out a shout of laughter and Peyton shook her head, _honestly_.

"Hey," she said suddenly and all three of them looked up at her, she smiled almost shyly, "I am really glad you guys are here. Seriously."

"Did you hit your head or something?" Rachel peered at her, "I don't see a bruise but it could be hidden beneath your ridiculous bangs."

"Oh bite me red, I'm trying to have a moment!"

"You keep throwing us off with those," Lucas said plaintively, "one a month is confusing enough!" This time all three of them laughed.

"You all _suck_! I liked you better when you all hated each other!"

"Liar!"

She headed back into Ellie's room, suddenly feeling nervous and sat down beside her on the bed. Ellie grimaced, "so, I think I said the wrong thing earlier."

"Yeah," Peyton said slowly, "I think you did too." She arched an eyebrow, "you wanna re-do it?"

Ellie reached for her hand and Peyton let her, "I don't want to die Peyton."

"Oh god actually-" she began to pull her hand away, they were seriously gonna talk about _death_?!

"Peyton," Ellie caught her arm firmly, "stay for a minute. I need to say this to you." She acquiesced and stilled before looking up at her mother hesitantly. "What I mean is that I really don't want to give up. I don't want you to have to go through anymore pain and I don't _want_ to leave you. But if the time comes and-"

"Ellie-"

"Peyton please let me finish! Look, no-one knows how long they've got and hell I could leave the hospital and get hit by a bus-"

"Oh for god's sake-"

"_But_, what I meant was, I'm getting tired. It's getting harder to fight and _I_ don't want to give up but I need you to come to terms with the fact that maybe my body _will_."

Peyton could actually feel tears beginning to sting her eyes and she bit her lip, hard, "Ellie- you can't die ok? You just, you can't! You're supposed to be like my dad and he knows he's not allowed to go anywhere until he's like, a _million_ years old so please! I know it's stupid and I know it's unreasonable but-"

"It's not unreasonable Peyton; it's actually very lovely to hear- always reassuring that the people around you don't want you to die."

"You know what I mean."

"I do," Ellie squeezed her hand, "I promise I will try ok? But, I need to do things _my_ way. I still need to go and live life and of course I'll be here for you, I just- I can't stay in a hospital bed every time something puts me down."

Peyton nodded, "ok," she whispered.

"Ok? You're not gonna freak out on me or on your dad later?"

"Maybe," she said, trying to smile, "but not about this bit."

Ellie reached up suddenly and stroked her hair back, Peyton felt surprised but she didn't pull away.

"You're a brave one Peyton Elizabeth," she said softly.

Peyton snorted, "guess I take after you then."

Ellie laughed and pushed her gently off the bed, "you have friends waiting for you go on- get. And I like that Rachel by the way, she seemed very concerned," Ellie wiggled her eyebrows, "and she had some good stories about _you_."

Peyton groaned, "oh god, I'm gonna kill her." She pulled on her jacket and looked back at her mother, "don't go anywhere ok? I'll come back later."

"No Peyton, you go have some fun with your friends, I'll be here tomorrow I promise."

She looked dubious and then shrugged, "I'll be in early."

"And I'll be up!"

"Fine!"

"Alright then."

Peyton couldn't help but huff out a laugh as she headed for the door, "you just won't let me have the last word will you?"

"I'm your mother Peyton, it comes with the territory."

"Doesn't seem fair," she said lightly as she moved outside.

"Do not drink too much- I don't want you in here again unless it's on your own two feet!" Ellie called after her. Peyton chuckled and waved her agreement before making her way to where Lucas was leaning against the wall waiting for her.


	26. Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

**A/N: I suck at UDs, I know this and I massively apologise. BUT I have actually gone ahead and planned the rest of this and pretty much written it so UDs should be like more often!**

The Friday before Karen and Keith's wedding was designated as a sort of unofficial party for everyone involved and Peyton found herself following Nathan up the steps to Tric with some trepidation.

Tree Hill's parties so far had not worked out so well. She vaguely remembered being a somewhat angsty mess at the last one.

"So Ellie's sticking around huh?" Nathan nodded at the guy on the door and then held it open for Peyton.

She shrugged, "for now."

He rolled his eyes, "ever the optimist."

"But that's what I have _you_ for," she said beaming at him and linking her arm through his, "lead the way to the alcohol-"

"Peyton!" A mass of dark curls fell into Peyton's face as Brooke dived at her, "you came!"

Nathan sniggered into his hand and disappeared, _traitor_, as Brooke straightened up and examined Peyton's outfit. "You know now that I don't hate you I can tell you that you look totally pretty!"

"Umm, thank you?"

"You're welcome," Brooke smiled widely, "and you know, I like you now." She began to play with Peyton's hair, "even if you are really surly and angry looking like _allll_ the time..." Her face darkened for a second, "just stay away from Jake ok?"

Peyton began to panic, she was going to die at the hands of a drunken cheerleader, _what a freaking cliché_, "Brooke-"

Suddenly Brooke threw back her head laughing and squeezed her arm, "I'm just kidding." Then her face switched again and she gave her another serious look, "only not."

"I wouldn't-"

"Oh I _know_," she cooed suddenly, "you're a real sweetheart underneath all the angst, I can totally tell."

It was probably the first time in her life she'd been called sweetheart when it wasn't attached to someone whistling and slapping her ass and getting a fist in their face for their troubles; Peyton was stumped. "You're really nice too Brooke," she said finally.

Brooke beamed again, "I know!"

"Brooke," Jake appeared and shot Peyton an apologetic look and then his girlfriend a fond one, "are you terrorizing people again?"

Brooke pouted, "no! I was actually being nice Jakey."

"She was," Peyton said grinning, "I'm just gonna head over to the bar-"

"Find us later," Brooke called after her, "we _have_ to dance! Jake, dance floor now!"

She laughed and shook her head with amusement as she made her way over to the bar top.

The bar guy grinned crookedly at her, "what can I get you?"

"A pink elephant please."

He blinked in confusion and then nodded, "sure."

"Wow a blonde with taste, I've been looking for one of those all my life," someone drawled behind her.

She twisted around and raised an eyebrow, "I'd suggest you keep looking."

The guy she was looking at grinned widely, he was holding a guitar and leaning casually on the bar, "you gonna keep me dry all night Owen or you gonna fill my glass?"

"That depends," the newly christened bar man, Owen, shot the guy a look, "are you gonna ask nicely?"

"I'm Chris Keller man, I'm always nice."

_Chris Keller_, oh holy shit- she knew that name.

Owen rolled his eyes and put Peyton's pink drink in front of her," if he's bothering you I can throw him out- I've done it before."

She smirked, "I bet."

"Hey now- you don't even know me!"

"I've heard of you though."

"Well, well," he gave her a filthy smirk, "and just _what_ have you heard?"

"That you leave a bad smell everywhere you go," Rachel cut in as she slid up next to Peyton at the bar, "the hell are you drinking Thelma?"

Peyton pouted, "it's grenadine and lemonade- best drink ever."

"It doesn't have any alcohol in it at all?"

"Not the perfect drink for you then Gattina," Chris said, still smirking.

"At least it'll keep me sober and away from you," the red head snapped back.

"You didn't complain last time."

"I-" Rachel fell silent and then straightened her shoulders, "go back to the hole you crawled out of and die there Keller."

Chris clutched at his chest, "aww you're breaking my heart here baby."

Rachel's eyes narrowed, "can it go break somewhere else?"

Before Peyton could interrupt a flash of blue eyes appeared in front of her and then Lucas was suddenly kissing her up against the bar. She pulled back after a moment or two and looked at him in surprise, "er hello?"

"Hey," he grinned and then glanced at Chris, "oh. Keller. Didn't see you there." His arm tightened around her waist and Peyton inwardly rolled her eyes, _yeah right._

Still, it was kinda cute that Lucas thought he needed to be at _all_ jealous these days.

Chris looked unflustered and raised an eyebrow, "sure you didn't."

Lucas gave him a tight smile, "what you doing here man? Didn't you leave like, _forever_?"

"We were all _devastated_," Rachel added.

"My sentiments exactly."

They both turned to scowl at him and Peyton thought wildly that it was hilarious that they were siding up against someone _else_ for a change instead of pulling each other's hair out.

"Wow you know I'm really feeling the love here guys," Chris said drily.

"You don't deserve the love," Rachel retorted angrily.

"Ok so, I'm thinking you're still not over me leaving last time- sorry I didn't send a postcard darlin'."

"You think I care about the fact you didn't keep in _touch_?" Rachel hissed at him.

"I wasn't the only one there you know," Chris shot back, "there were two people making a mistake."

"Keller," Nathan appeared, a dark look on his face, "what are you doing here?"

Chris widened his eyes, "what the hell's with the fail welcome wagon? I've been here two minutes- I came to the bar, hit on blondie-"

"I _knew_ it," Lucas said triumphantly.

"Hey wait a minute," Peyton protested, "you struck out in less than a second, that doesn't count!"

"Well I could try again," he flashed her a smile- Lucas took a step forward, looking dangerous for a second and Chris held up his hands, "or else I could just stand here quietly till my set starts."

"You're actually playing?" Rachel said incredulously, "who the hell invited you?"

Chris shrugged, smirking again, "I got contacts," he reached out a hand to play with her hair, "wanted to check in on all my fans back-" Rachel slapped his hand away with venom.

"Don't _touch_ me, don't even speak to me Keller, stay the hell away from me or I swear to god I'll break your fingers and you'll never play again ok?" And then she stalked away, shaking her head at Nathan as she did so, "and you stay away too."

"Daaayyyum, she was always fierce but," Chris wiggled his eyebrows at them, "that's gonna lead to some awesome hate sex."

"Do what she said man," Nathan said sharply, "or I'll let her break more than your fingers."

Chris waved a hand, "aren't you over all that yet Nate?" He shrugged, "hey I can't help it if your girls like me more than you."

Nathan pointed at him, "don't push me."

"Haley's going to _kill_ you," Lucas said suddenly, glaring at Chris, "no strike that, _I'm_ going to kill you."

"Hey would you look at that," Chris interrupted, "time for me to on stage! Enjoy my set guys, I'm sure you will." He clapped Nathan on the shoulder, winked at Peyton and then picked up his guitar and sauntered towards the stage.

"I _hate_ that guy," Lucas said scowling, "he shouldn't be back here. He caused enough damage when he was at school with us."

"Yeah I remember," Nathan snarled.

"What's up with Rachel?" Peyton asked quietly.

Nathan scratched the back of his head, "nothing, it's nothing. I don't know, dammit this couldn't have come at a crapper time," he muttered before stalking away.

Peyton turned to look at Lucas in confusion, "I thought _Nathan_ hated Chris Keller because he went on tour with Haley? Why do I suddenly feel dense Luke?"

Lucas sighed and tugged her away from the bar gently, "Keller was in the year above us... he and Rachel hooked up when she was with Nate- she was, messed up. Panicking about her and Nate and how serious they were getting and Chris knew she was and... I guess he played on that."

"Yeah she's talked about cheating on him- she never mentioned it was with Chris..." She frowned in confusion, "but then- Chris and Haley started _working_ together?"

"Yeah after Haley and Nathan were married- the crap with Keller, Nathan and Rachel had been over for a while. Nathan just really resented Haley working with him and Rachel _hated_ Chris. But then he left and Hales left and- and Nate got really drunk for like six months, Rachel became Rachel... And then you came onto the picture." Lucas smiled softly at her, "you changed everything babe, you changed _everyone_."

She laughed, scrunching up her nose, "I think you're being a little over dramatic honey."

"Maybe," he smiled widely at her, "but you changed _my_ life."

She stared at him, her eyes wide, "yeah?"

"_Yeah_," he laughed at her surprise, "you think you're the only one that can say big romantic things and get away with it?"

"You're such a goofball," she said affectionately.

"But you love me anyway," he bent down and kissed her again, "you wanna dance?"

She hesitated, "I do, _kind of_, but I wanna go do some talking first ok?"

Lucas nodded understandingly, "I'm gonna go talk to my mom for a bit. Find me when you're done being all angsty with my brother?"

"You're so funny. And we don't angst- that's your job."

"Whatever you wanna believe," he called after her grinning.

Nathan was sitting on the back steps staring intently at the juice in front of him. Peyton sat down heavily beside him, "see the future of the universe in there yet?"

He sighed and put it down, leaning his elbows back on the step above and shrugged, "nah, I don't need a magic potion to tell me I'm royally screwed for the next few days."

"Does Haley know Chris is here?"

"I don't know," he pinched the bridge of his nose, "Rachel's pissed."

"Noticed that," she said trying to smile.

"_I_ sure as hell didn't invite him Sawyer."

"And I never said you did!"

"I know, I know but I swear Rach thinks I did- did you see her face? I thought she was gonna kill _me_. And I didn't do anything wrong, at all- the whole time we were together-"

"I know Nate," she said soothingly, "but you realise Haley's gonna need to know he's here and you _can't_ be mad at her just because seeing him again reminds you of shit that happened a long time ago."

"I wasn't going to be!"

"Right, cos your face right now screams that you're cool with all of this."

He stood up suddenly, "you know what sucks? The guy I hate most in the world rolls back into town and everyone's acting like I'm the bad guy!"

"Woah, woah, Nate, I said be nice to Haley, I didn't say you were the anti-christ!"

His eyes flashed with something resembling humour and then he sighed and sat back down next to her, "_you're_ the anti Christ," he said finally, though there was no venom in his voice.

She laughed, she knew this routine, "actually I prefer to go by ruler of all that is evil, but anti-christ, satan, the devil- they're all applicable."

Nathan snorted, "kinda pedantic for someone who eats souls."

"Who said anything about eating souls? I keep them all on my wall."

"That explains the creepy art work then."

"Jerk! That was uncalled for," but she grinned and then stood, turning to face him, "now look here Nathan Scott, you can sit here and procrastinate by calling me all the names in the book and being rude about my art- which by the way is fantastic- screw you very much or you could maybe go sort out your love life so that I can get back to mine." She rested a hip on the wall beside them and cocked an eyebrow, "which is it gonna be?"

Nathan dropped his head for a second sighing and then stood up and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "your art _is_ amazing and so are you, but you're still the devil."

"Does that mean we're going back inside?"

"Yeah, you can go dance with my loser brother. But don't forget to remind him that you love me more than him."

She punched his shoulder, "don't say it out loud!"

"Seriously though," he slowed his pace as they climbed the steps, "you're happy right? He's behaving and everything?"

"Really? _You're_ gonna ask me if _Lucas_ is behaving?"

He snorted, "right, stupid question. So I don't need to you know-" he wiggled his eyebrows, "have words?"

"If you do I'll run over your foot," she said darkly.

Nathan's laughter followed her inside and she chuckled to herself as she looked around for Lucas. Instead she was met with a weary but smiling Ellie.

"Hey, what are you doing out of bed?"

Ellie blinked in surprise and then let out a shout of laughter, "did you forget which of us is supposed to be the mother in this relationship? Peyton, I'm thirty three years old, I promise I can take care of myself and it is perfectly safe for me to be out of bed. Besides," she twirled around on the spot, "I have to practice walking around a lot for being a bridesmaid."

Peyton giggled, "well you might not be the youngest but you'll be by far the most prepared bridesmaid in the world."

Ellie narrowed her eyes, "watch it squirt, I could ground you."

"Um, no you couldn't."

"True, but I could call your dad."

"Ha! He's out of town."

"Which means he'd be _really_ pissed if he had come back-" Ellie trailed off smirking and Peyton made a big show of zipping her mouth shut. "Good girl."

Peyton scowled and then bit her lip, "Ellie-"

Ellie interrupted, "you know your boy keeps looking up all hopeful every time you glance in his direction and I'm pretty sure he's gonna drown if he doesn't get your attention soon so I suggest you get over there."

Peyton looked at her for a moment and then nodded, ok, this was how she wanted to play it. All jokes. No seriousness. Fine by her, hell she was the _queen_ of denial.

And Ellie was apparently the freaking _Empress_ of it.

She sighed and then caught Luke's eye- he waved and she waved back, pushing her hair out of her face feeling shy suddenly, "yeah I guess I could go say hey."

"You mean if I _insist_?" Ellie rolled her eyes, "I'm actually surprised he's not attached to your hip right."

"Hey, we are not that bad!"

"You are," Ellie elbowed her, "go on, stop trying to prove a point."

"You know I was kinda glad you were sticking around," Peyton scrunched up her nose, "now I'm not so sure..."

Ellie scoffed and batted her over the head, "get over there before I start doing embarrassing dances on the bar."

Peyton shot towards her boyfriend like the floor was on fire with Ellie still chuckling behind her.

"Hey you," he said softly as she slipped under his arm, "you want a drink?"

"No," she said firmly, "I wanna dance." She wanted to lose herself in the person she loved and a whole load of bad music.

He reached out a hand to touch her forehead, "you feeling ok?"

She swatted his hand away, "you're funny. Come on," she tugged him towards the dance floor, "show me what you got Scott."

They moved through their friends and Lucas twirled her gently before pulling her close, "Nathan ok?"

"No," she scrunched up her nose, "but he will be when Chris Keller leaves."

"And you?"

"I'm fine," she said, smiling tightly.

"Liar."

"I'm not lying."

"You're worried about Ellie."

"I'm-"

"Peyton!" Rachel swung an arm over her friend's shoulder and beamed at her, "'m I interrupting?"

"Uh, kind of," Lucas said scowling.

Peyton widened her eyes at him in warning and then leant back from Rachel's face, "you smell like a brewery."

"Aw, you're so sweet to say so, thank you," Rachel swayed a little on the spot, "so I think m'gonna go home."

"Right," Peyton looked around for her bag, "I'll drive you."

"Naw s'okay, Chris's gonna- gonna- drive me."

"What? No way," Peyton began steering her friend through the crowd, "just because you've drunk a bar dry doesn't mean Chris Keller is now an appropriate designated driver."

Rachel pouted, "but I don't hate him right now and he's still kind of a fox."

"No, he's the reason you and Nathan won't speak for the next ten years if you do what you want to do right now."

The red head looked confused, "I don't follow."

"It's a good thing you've got your looks," Lucas muttered.

Rachel turned to scowl at him, "I didn't hear that but I bet it was somethin' stupid and sacr- sarc- sarcastic. So predictable Scott."

She stumbled over a bar stool and Lucas shook his head, "you can't do this all the way home."

"Watch me," she snapped before Lucas just shook his head, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

Peyton was momentarily stunned and then simultaneously began laughing and taking as many pictures as possible whilst Rachel shrieked at Lucas to let her down.

"Hey, everything ok?" Nathan appeared frowning at the strange scene in front of him.

Peyton chuckled and nodded, "we got it thanks Nate."

"Rachel?" Nathan twisted to look at Lucas's current baggage and stared at her upside down, "you ok?"

"Goway," she said shortly.

"I-"

"Mean it. Just goway kay? Leave me 'lone for good now."

He stepped back in surprise and Peyton touched his arm, "she's just drunk Nate- did you find Haley?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, "she went home as soon as she saw Chris."

Peyton's face filled with sympathy, "it's not your fault Nathan."

"Pfft, tell that to my wife and the drunk girl currently pulling your boyfriend's hair," he scowled, "man I _hate_ Chris Keller."

"Yeah," Lucas winced as Rachel tried to pinch him in the back, "I can relate."

They made their way out of Tric and towards Peyton's car, "you can put me down y'know, anywhere will do."

"Is Keller still inside?"

"Prolly."

"I'm thinking that actually means probably in which case I'll be carrying you until there's no way you can run back inside ok?"

"I _loathe_ you."

"That's ok; I'm not your biggest fan either."

"You wanted to go home with Chris Keller tonight?" Nathan had stopped walking and was staring at Rachel's head in shock.

"Why d'you care?"

Lucas was beginning to tire of Rachel's incessant kicking and finally lowered her to the ground where she tried to compose herself, "jerk," she growled in his direction.

"Bitch," he shot back, smirking. Peyton punched him on the arm and he looked at her incredulously, "what? I just got her out of there didn't I?"

"I didn't need rescuing," Rachel snapped angrily, trying to stand up and failing.

Nathan offered her his hand, still looking dazed and she pulled away like she'd been stung, "don't even think about it!"

He snapped, "what the hell Rach? I haven't been near you all night, like _you_ requested, you blame _me_ for Keller's re-appearance and then decide to go home with him and now you're bitching out at me for trying to help you?"

Rachel stood finally and shook her head, "that's just your problem, I don't need _help_ Nathan. I don't need anybody's help. I'm absoltly- absolutely- able to take care of m'self!"

"You can't even form a proper sentence," he snarled back, "let alone get yourself home safely."

"God it's not 'save a Gattina' night Nathan, I can sleep with who I want and when I want!"

"Yeah I _remember_," he shot back before turning on his heel and stalking away.

"Fine then!"

"_Fine_!" He waved a hand behind him and continued to walk towards the main road without looking back.

"God you're such a jerk!" Rachel yelled before promptly ruining the moment by being sick all over Lucas's shoes.

He stared at her aghast and then up at Peyton who pulled an apologetic face, "I'll buy you some new ones baby."

He rolled his eyes, "let's just get her home ok?"

Once again she couldn't help but laugh, suddenly she was the responsible one, the one in the stable relationship thingy and the one who was leaving the bar _sober_.

It really couldn't last.


	27. I'm Keeping You Out Of The Box

**Disclaimer: I like, don't even own a brain most days. It's all owned by Mark. More's the pity.**

In the days when Peyton saw a different town every other month she used to always scrape her name into the tree nearest whatever house they were crashing in and take a picture of it. It's sentimental and stupid and she's never confessed it to _anybody_ but she likes to remember she was there somehow and she didn't like the idea of leaving her initials in the houses- any creep could find them- but somewhere hidden where only she would know how to find.

She's got a box full of the photographs – all with the name of the places scrawled on the back- along with other bits and pieces she's picked up over the years; napkins with tiny drawings on, a coaster from a certain bar in Mexico, a mixed cd from Ryan Soretto she can't listen to anymore because she scratched it (she'd been drunk and when she'd discovered what she'd done the next morning she'd been practically hysterical- her dad had been home for the weekend and had come running up the stairs with a shot gun ready- he hadn't been impressed at the sight of her hungover and weeping over a _cd_.) There are Foo Fighters tickets too precious to stick up and a signed drumstick from the All American Rejects her best friend in ninth grade, Tom, caught for her. A half used purple crayon she found in the bottom of her suitcase last year and remembered using when she was a kid with pigtails and had a partner in crime with dimples and shy hazel eyes.

Freshly added to the collection, a notepad from the hotel room she and Rachel shared at the Classics, a draft of a book report Nathan stole from her and then doodled all over in class- mostly witty lines like _Nathan Scott is awesome_ and _Peyton Sawyer is a dork and totally wants Nathan_- he really stretched his imagination for those- and a photocopy of the scene she and Lucas read aloud to one another in English... Yeah ok, she's aware she's a loser for photocopying it but hey, no-one's ever going to see the inside of this box EVER so it doesn't matter.

The tree Lucas uses as leverage to clamber up to her window now has a _PES_ right at the bottom behind some ivy that's currently working its way up the side. She has no idea why she's out looking at it at three in the morning but it's weirding her out. This is the longest the Sawyer family have ever stayed in one place of residence since her mom died and she's still yet to take a photograph of the initials, to scribble _Tree Hill, NC,_ on the back and throw it in the box to look at when she gets nostalgic three years down the line. It scares the hell out of her that maybe one day she'll wake up and not remember the faces of those she loves so fiercely right now. She stopped saying she'd keep in touch years ago and no-one's ever chased her down, (that's actually kind of a relief as she suspects Ryan Soretto and Christian Palmer would probably have a few decidedly unfriendly things to say.) And she can't even visualise Oliver or Sam, or even Olivia who was probably the girl that saved her from going over to a truly _dark_ place in Oakland. She has to get photographs out and stare hard to remember the way they laughed or talked, what their quirks were and how they dressed and behaved.

Lucas's eyes crinkle up when he smiles properly. He likes long words and he likes to use them- he also _always_ understands their meanings, it's kind of unfair, he's like a walking dictionary. He can't lie without getting flustered and blinking a lot and when he kisses her he always cups her face like she's made of something breakable, something fragile and special. He makes her feel safe and like nothing can break through and hurt her. He makes her heart beat faster just by looking at her and he makes her roll her eyes at herself for acting like a complete _girl_ around him.

In nine months he's become a part of her soul and she's kind of freaking out about not being _more_ freaked out about that whole idea. She doesn't _want_ to forget what he looks like. She doesn't _want_ to forget how he kisses her.

She stubbed out the cigarette she'd been smoking (first in a month ok? and there was the whole drama with Red and Nate last night and she just needed one) and bent down to push the ivy out of the way. She scraped away for a minute carving a tiny heart and the letters _LES _underneath her own. It would be kind of nice not to have to take a photograph of that for a really long time.

Ok, maybe she's freaking out a little.

* * *

When Peyton woke the next morning Lucas was pacing at the foot of the bed.

"-and that's why when all is said and done, no shit, sounds like a funeral," he cleared his throat and took a breath, "and so in celebration of this amazing day, no, in celebration of my amazing mom and uncle... damn." He threw his arms up and then sat down heavily.

"Are you having a dramatic dream?" Her voice made him jump and she sniggered slightly.

He narrowed his eyes at her before rolling back on the bed towards her, "nah, I was just trying for like, the fiftieth time, to get my speech right for tonight. It still sucks."

She chuckled and ran a hand through his hair, "I'm pretty sure you're one of the best English students our school's ever seen so I doubt that's true honey."

He stood up again, frustrated with himself, "but I can't get it right! This is the most important night of my family's life to date and I'm gonna let everyone down!" He began looking around for his tee shirt and grimaced when he saw the muddy footprints all over the back, "jesus remind me to never carry Rachel around again." He dropped it to the floor and turned to look at her forlornly, "now I have no speech and no tee shirt."

Peyton bit her lip in an attempt not to laugh at devastated expression and then found she couldn't resist. Lucas pouted and she jumped off the bed quickly and slipped her hands around his neck, "I'm sorry Luke, sorry, I'm not laughing at you... I'm laughing with you?"

He scowled but his hands clutched at her hips to bring her closer, "looks like you're laughing _at_ me."

"Ok well, let's fix that. You wanna read me your whole speech?"

"Nah," he rubbed the back of his neck, "it's not ready yet."

She sat back on the bed, tugging at his hand, "so practice on me!"

"Babe- that's uh- that's so the wrong thing to say to me right now."

"Save it for later Scott, hit me with the charming speech now and then hit _on_ me at the wedding ok? I promise you won't strike out."

"And how will I know when to come over- you gonna give me a signal?"

"Oh yeah," she smirked, "I'll be wearing a big sign I made earlier saying come get me Scott."

"That could be risky at a wedding with my entire family."

She chuckled, "oh I dunno, your uncle's still looking pretty good for his age."

"Don't even go there," he said warningly.

"I wouldn't," she replied seriously, "your mom would kick my ass."

"Yeah," he collapsed next to her, resting his hands behind his head, "I'd put some good money on that."

She swatted at his arm, "un-cool."

He smiled widely at her and then shifted comfortably, "so what else will you be wearing tonight?"

"Aside from my yay Lucas banner? Um, the only dress that wasn't _a _a casualty of last night and _b _doesn't remind me of my terrible years spent wearing a whole lot of black and purple lace."

His eyes widened, "you uh- you have lace black dresses?"

"Bad ones," she cut in quickly, "like, emo-esque ones."

"I hate to break it to you, but there is no such thing as a black lace dress," he said seriously.

"Uh, you have no idea."

"Hmmm," he leaned in to kiss her, "I guess I'll have to be the judge of that."

There was a banging on the door suddenly and the sound of footfall, "you two are making me feel more sick than I already am, cut it out," Rachel mumbled crossly on her way into the bathroom.

"Maybe you shouldn't drink so much next time, then you'd be feeling bright and shiny like me!" Peyton yelled after her.

"Ugh, _die _in a fire," Rachel groaned before slamming the bathroom door.

"She's feeling better," Lucas said slightly.

Peyton gigled and then pulled him back towards her.

"Peyton?" Larry was suddenly knocking on the door and Lucas sighed quietly as he rolled onto his back, frustrated.

"Do they have sensors for this kind of thing?"

She chuckled again and then put a hand over his mouth, "yeah dad?"

"I'm clearing out in about five kiddo, you got a minute to have a word with me please?"

"Uh huh, one sec."

"Oh and tell Lucas that his damn shoes are stinking up the hall."

"That was my fault Mr Sawyer," Rachel's voice suddenly piped up as the bathroom door opened again.

"Hmm," she could practically _hear_ her dad giving up his rant before he'd even begun. "Well, you feelin' alright now Red?"

"_Much_ better thank you." Peyton opened her own door to raise her eyebrows at her and Rachel smirked and stuck her tongue out before turning back to Larry, "I hope you have a good trip sir."

"Uh huh, you stay outta trouble Rachel- you two gotta take care of yourselves while I'm not here- and don't even think about trynna use my car again," he said warningly, pointing at Peyton.

Peyton opened her mouth to protest and then sighed, what was the point? It had been Rachel's damn idea to try driving it in the first place and Peyton had had _nothing_ to do with getting confused with the European gear box and putting the thing into first instead of reverse and kinda, _maybe_, driving into the garage wall with Rachel shrieking in her ear...

"Is there anything else dad?"

"Yeah," Larry lifted his duffle bag over his shoulder whilst simultaneously straightening his collar, "I left some money by the fridge- try not to spend it all on cds this time please honey." She felt her eyes widen and he raised an eyebrow, "what, you think I don't know where it all goes? I'll be in Seattle till Tuesday and then-" he hesitated for a second and then looked at her softly, "I'm gonna be staying put for at least six months."

She stared at him in surprise, "you serious?"

"Yep, I moved some things around," he said, heading down the stairs as he spoke, "don't like thinking about you girls getting up to all kinds of mischief with me not here."

For a second she stared at his retreating back, shocked. They'd have officially stayed in Tree Hill a whole year. They'd... well they'd be like, people who _lived_ in the town not just stayed in it. On impulse she ran after him down the stairs, "dad!"

He turned and she threw herself into his arms. Larry caught her in surprise, "woah kid, what's this for?"

She pulled away and smiled awkwardly at him, "nothing, you know just, thanks."

He nodded, his eyes twinkling, "uh huh, don't thank me. I just like the coffee here."

Scoffing she pushed at his shoulder, "see you on Tuesday."

"Alright," he inclined his head at Lucas who was watching with a soft look in his eyes from the stairs, "glad to see you've got clothes on today Lucas- make sure you behave yourself Miss Gattina," he glanced finally at his daughter, "take care of yourself now twigs."

She cringed at the old nickname, "dad!"

Larry chuckled and nodded once more before heading out the door. Peyton turned back up the stairs to see Rachel and Lucas grinning down at her, Rachel mouthing _twigs_?

"Oh sod off," she said, trying to sound cross but smiling instead and stomping towards the kitchen.

* * *

"So twigs-"

"Oh god is that gonna haunt me forever?"

Rachel giggled and then smoothed down her dress, "probably. Personally I _love_ it."

"That dress makes you look fat," she snapped back.

"Lies," Rachel said loftily, "I look hot."

They were both leaning on the bar that'd been set up in Karen and Keith's back garden and the sun was slowly setting giving the entire lawn a gorgeous glow. It looked perfect, so romantic, like a fairy tale-

"You gonna cry on me if it gets all soppy and romantic?"

"What? No!"

Rachel shrugged, "you were getting a little misty eyed there."

"I was _not_! I was just thinking the garden looked pretty."

"Pssh, yeah, sure."

"Hellooo ladies," Chris Keller appeared smirking and lifted a hand to Owen who had come over from Tric to work the bar. It would appear Keller had been asked to play at the reception- Karen had clearly been kept in the dark about the drama that followed the musician around.

"Drop dead," Rachel snapped.

"I'm gonna go find Luke," Peyton said quickly, "don't drink near him," she added to Rachel.

As she headed into the house she could hear Chris saying, "so how much have you already had sugar?"

Followed by Rachel's answering groan and, "I have no idea what came over me last night Keller but if you so much as look at me the wrong way tonight I'm gonna chop your fingers off."

She knocked on Luke's door, inside she could hear him pacing and muttering and when he swung the door back his tie was flung haphazardly over his shoulder and his hair was sticking up in all directions.

"You uh- look stressed?"

"I have no words!"

"You just used four."

"No I mean," he waved a crumpled piece of paper in her face, "this whole speech is totally dumb! _Help_ me!"

"Ok," she moved into the room, shutting the door carefully and stepped towards him, tugging at his tie, "first we gotta fix this honey cos you uh- you look like you climbed through a hedge." She began to correct it as she spoke, "and second, you gotta breathe!"

He sighed and closed his eyes, "yeah, right, breathing."

"You know your speech, it's gonna be perfect, even if you started talking about the weather your mom and your uncle would be happy because _you're_ happy for them. And you love them- and they love you."

"I am, and I mean, I do- but really?"

She chuckled, "You know for a writer you're kinda sucking with the words at the moment."

"_Hey_, I won you over with my words, don't go dissing them," he said pointing at her while she ran a hand through his hair.

"My point exactly Luke... and I'm a tough crowd," she said seriously.

"The toughest," he said softly, a warm expression in his eyes as he bent to kiss her, "but you're worth it."

She straightened his collar, smiling goofily up at him and then remembered herself and cleared her throat, "right, and you're gonna do a great job out there. Come on," she grabbed his hand, "you gotta get out there and make me proud."

And dear god did he make her proud standing up at the altar looking so unbelievably gorgeous she couldn't think straight. For his part Lucas couldn't seem to stop beaming; at his uncle and Nathan and then at Haley, Ellie and Deb as they made their way up the aisle in dark blue silk dresses. It was the first time she'd ever seen her mother really dressed up and she looked beautiful. Finally Karen appeared looking radiant in a cream dress and the ceremony began. The traditional vows sent shivers down her spine and she grabbed Rachel's hand on instinct. She caught Nathan's eye when he glanced their way and he winked at her, grinning widely, she crossed her eyes at him in return. Rachel squeezed her hand and stared determinedly at Karen and Keith who were exchanging rings.

"Told you you'd cry," her friend muttered.

"Shut up," she shot back.

When they were declared man and wife the entire gathering broke out into applause, Brooke jumped up squealing, almost elbowing Jake in the face and everyone else soon followed. When Karen and Keith broke off their kiss everyone swarmed towards them to take pictures and hug.

"Uh, excuse me, everyone," Lucas tapped on his glass and there was a hush in the wild laughter and chatter that had been flowing across the tables set out. Everyone turned to look at him expectantly and he tugged on his collar, trying not to get nervous. "I wanted to say congratulations to my mom and my uncle Keith but uh, for once in my life I couldn't find the right words." He grinned as everyone chuckled and Karen rolled her eyes affectionately. "So first off, I just wanted to say, that I am _so_ glad you guys found each other. I know our family has been kinda unconventional," Keith let out a barking laugh and Lucas grinned back at him, "but it's been ours and I'm proud to be a part of it." He paused for a second and then looked at Peyton, surprising her, she sat up to meet his gaze, "there are a lot of different kinds of love. There's the love we have for our friends, even when they annoy the heck out of you," Rachel elbowed her under the table and she giggled and then put a hand over her mouth, she didn't want to distract him. "There's the love you have for your family, the way even when you know it's a bad idea- you always end up having their back-" he raised his glass slightly to Nathan who smirked in return, "and then there's the love for that one person who you know you'd do _anything_ for. The person who fills you with all kinds of joy, creates that peace you feel when you look at them. It makes you feel like there's nothing you wouldn't want to give them, that you'd walk through fire for them. I know that's the way you love my mom Uncle Keith. I know that when I look at you guys I see that calm, that hope and that faith exuding from the two of you. You give each other strength, you give _me_ faith and I know you're gonna live long, happy lives together. So, I want everybody to raise their glasses with me and wish you guys congratulations, I'm so happy for you!"

Karen and Keith both smiled up at Lucas and then turned to look adoringly at one another. Peyton stood up as Lucas made his way towards her beaming. "You did good," she said softly.

"Yeah... I know," he grinned back at her before pulling her close and kissing her while the people around them clapped and cheered.

Ok, so maybe she didn't mind sticking around for like, _ever_.


	28. How To Save A Life

**A/N: agh, i am trying to stick to the original plot just a little bit so, here goes. Also, there's some swearing in this chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Danneel Harris would have been a regular in S6 if i had owned. also, Rachel and Nathan would have had cutee babies in S4 and spent all their time bickering/bantering and made me v happy. So yeah I don't own. but girl is still a HBIC and i LOVEEEEE that she and Hilarie (Queen of all HBICs of all time) are such good friends. BRIDESMAIDS people. it made me joyful. And i should stop rambling cos it's like half 5 here and i should really go to bed.**

The queue for the Scott's bathroom was as long as the damn house and frankly, Peyton just wasn't a patient enough person for that. She ducked around Deb and the guy who wasn't Owen that worked at Tric and slipped into Luke's room to use his en suite.

"Busted," Lucas interrupted her overly exaggerated tip toeing and she turned guiltily. She flashed him a wide, _what me?_ smile and he rolled his eyes, "doesn't work on me anymore gorgeous."

"You're hiding out in here too," she pointed out, pouting and putting her hands on her hips.

He smirked, "I'm avoiding anymore of my mom's friends asking me if they can arrange dates with their oh so eligible daughters."

She raised an eyebrow, "do I need to go out there and stake my claim?"

"Nah, I think they got it when pretty much all I talked about was how pretty you look in that dress."

"Hmmm," she clambered up on the bed and sat comfortably on his legs, "are you sure that was the topic of conversation? You looked pretty cosy with that girl in the floral petticoat thing back there."

He grinned at her suddenly, "are you _jealous_?"

"What?" She blew her hair out of her face, attempting a casual roll of her eyes, "me?"

"Yup," he ran his hands up her legs, smirking, "you think everyone wants a piece of me."

"Your brain is living in a fictitious land," she shot back, swinging her legs back off the bed.

He laughed and grabbed her hips, "hey hey, wait a minute babe-"

"I'm not jealous," she protested, trying to avoid meeting his eyes- _damn_ him.

"I believe you," he gave her a sincere look and then grinned, "but say you were-"

"Oh shut up!" She glowered at him for a second and then turned towards the bathroom, "I only came in here to use the damn bathroom."

Lucas sighed and dropped back onto the bed dramatically, "you know those other girls actually like me most of the time, they're nice to me, they-" he didn't get any further as she tossed a cushion at his face; he caught it laughing, "I'm kidding, they were all dull as hell." He examined the cushion, "although none of them would ever inflict violence on me."

"I _hate _you," she shouted as she marched through the door and slammed it hard, trying not to laugh all the while. _Double_ damn him!

"And I _love_ you," he yelled back.

She ignored him and the tingling she still felt whenever he said that and pushed a hand through her hair. She'd straightened it for the wedding but the stubborn curls were beginning to creep back in, "you don't have a set of hair straighteners lying around do you honey?"

"Ha ha," he replied dryly just as she heard the bedroom door open.

"Dude! You can't leave me out there!" It was Nathan and she heard him collapse on the bed next to his brother.

"What, you not enjoying being sociable? _Shocker_." There was a thumping sound and Lucas let out a muffled groan, "I was just stating the obvious."

"Just because you've recently discovered you actually _like_ people doesn't mean the rest of us have."

"Hey! I've always been friendly."

"Pfft, I'll bet you ten bucks you've got less than thirty numbers in your phone."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Just let me see and I'll tell you."

"No Nate-"

"Luke that actually hurts-" she could hear shuffling and a cushion hitting the floor-

"Stop it! Ouch!"

"You asked for it, stop pinching me you _girl_."

"Ah dammit Nathan!"

"Get off man, I'm just showing you what a loner you are- ahhhh!" There was a much louder thud and then more shuffling sounds followed by a clatter and she opened the door to check on them.

Lucas and Nathan were on the floor pushing at each other, both of them looking like they were trying not laugh and finally Nathan squirmed, kneed his brother and jumped up triumphant.

"Yes! That's what you get when you mess with the better Sco-" his words were cut short when Lucas shoved a leg out and caught Nathan's feet, knocking him back onto the floor.

"Ugh," Nathan dropped his head back, defeated, "un-cool man." He opened an eye and glanced at Peyton who was watching them both with an eyebrow raised, "hey Sawyer," he said lazily, "enjoying the view?"

She rolled her eyes, "you're both idiots."

"He started it!" Lucas protested, "he tried to steal my phone!"

"Whatever dude, it's just a phone, what you got on there that's so private anyway, your diary?"

Lucas narrowed his eyes at him and then put his phone safely in his pocket, "maybe I just don't want you going through my stuff."

"Prude," Nathan said in disgust before standing up, dusting his hands off and nudging at Luke with his foot, "come on ladies, cake time."

Peyton's eyes lit up, "oh _finally_!"

Nathan turned to look at her affectionately, "I knew there was a reason you were cool."

"Do you think they'll let me have two pieces?"

"I'm gonna tell my ma not to let either of you have _any_," Lucas grumbled crossly as he stood up, "throwing cushions at me and beating me for no reason."

Both Peyton and Nathan scoffed and Nathan patted his shoulder, "dude, she likes us more than you."

"That is _not _true!"

Nate slung an arm over Peyton's shoulder, "is, she told me so," he said loftily.

They made their way through the tent, Nathan scowling over at Chris who waved cockily from the bar, lifting his drink at Peyton, "can I punch him?"

Peyton patted his arm, "tomorrow. Not in front of Karen."

"But it'd be so much fun," he whined.

"I'll hold him down for you man," Lucas muttered.

Nathan beamed and ruffled his hair, "I guess you're alright sometimes kid."

Lucas pushed his hand away, trying to frown, "I'm older than you!"

"No-one would believe that."

"I hate you."

"Or that."

Peyton rolled her eyes at both of them and they headed over to where Rachel, Jake and Brooke were sitting. Both Rachel and Brooke had two pieces of cake in front of them and Jake was watching with an air of incredulity.

"Where do you put it?" He was asking in an awed voice as they sat down.

"Mostly on my thighs," Rachel replied easily, licking at icing on her fork. "But then I go to the gym more than all of you put together and I look like _this _so, I'm ok with it," she smiled wickedly at him before continuing to devour her first piece.

"Babe," Jake leant forward to speak to Brooke but she held up a hand.

"Jake honey, you keep talking, which is distracting and it's going to end ugly if you don't leave me alone with the cake ok?"

He turned to them with wide eyes, "my girlfriend is ignoring me for sponge!"

"Sad day," Nathan said shaking his head pitifully and smirking.

Peyton smiled gratefully at Lucas when he put a piece in front of her, "I love you," she sighed happily.

"_Thank_ you, I love you too."

She shot him a look, rolling her eyes, "I was talking to the cake fool."

Nathan snorted, "burn."

"But-" Lucas began to splutter indignantly.

Jake nudged him sympathetically, "better to just let them be my friend, trust me."

Peyton giggled before taking her first bite and closing her eyes, "oh my god this is _heavenly_!"

"I know right!" Rachel beamed at her, her own mouth still full of cake and icing on her cheek- Peyton chuckled and motioned to her own cheek to let her know, "I'll get it later," she replied, waving a hand dismissively.

"Mmm, yes... oh so good! _Mmmhmmm_," Peyton crooned. She caught Luke's eye and stopped, self conscious suddenly, "what?"

He shook his head, mouth dry and Nathan rolled his eyes, "you're making sex noises Sawyer and frankly I'm finding it a little disturbing."

She glowered at him, "this cake is _totally_ worth the noises."

"Oh god I agree," Brooke chimed in, "in a battle between sex and cake, this cake is _so _the one going home with me."

Jake rubbed his chest, "I'm gonna try not to take that too personally."

She smiled sweetly at him and patted his hand, "I knew you'd understand sweetie. What about you Rach?"

Rachel looked up from where she was trying to get the exact right ratio of icing to sponge on her fork and didn't hesitate, "cake."

Nathan stared at her in shock, "what, cake or sex and you'd pick cake? _Liar_."

She shrugged, "the cake is reliable and delicious, it's a win win."

"Yeah but-"

"But _nothing_, I'm eating."

"Oh come on-"

She stood up suddenly, gritting her teeth and clutching her fork tightly, "I'm trying to eat my cake Nathan, and you're _stopping_ me. Do you not think that for once in your life you could stop pestering me and give me _five_ minutes alone with the cake?" Her voice had gone shrill and there were the sounds of clattering silverware and dry coughs before the entire tent fell silent. She scowled at her new audience, "_what_? It's good cake!"

"Here here," Keith called out, waving his own plate happily and kissing Karen's cheek at the same time.

Rachel sat back down and quirked an eyebrow at Nathan, as if to say _see_, before focusing her attention on her plate and ignoring them all.

"Think we've all learned a lesson here boys," Jake said quietly.

Lucas lifted his water glass in response and they both grinned at each other; Nathan was still sitting in shock, shaking his head in disbelief as he watched the girls clean their plates.

* * *

"So," Brooke sat back five minutes later and beamed at them all, "we still heading over to Tric?" She looked at them all expectantly and then elbowed Jake, "yes, no, maybe?"

"Oh," he grinned, "are we allowed to talk now?"

She rolled her eyes, "you're so dramatic baby."

"Are you kidding? I was afraid for my life!"

Peyton chuckled and then threaded her fingers through Luke's, "you wanna stay here for a bit, stay with your mom and Keith or you wanna go?"

He looked away from where he'd been watching the happy couple twirling on the dance floor, laughing softly with one another and raised his eyebrows, "you think I wanna stay here with a dozen empty cake plates in front of me?"

"As if people would actually think you could handle all that cake," she scoffed, glancing pointedly at his flat stomach, "you're practically a rake."

"Really twigs? You wanna go _there_?"

"Ok," she stood up, "let's not. I gotta get changed though- this is not the kind of dress I like to wear on a normal occasion."

"Heaven forbid people actually think you dress _nicely_ ever," Rachel added from across the table.

She narrowed her eyes back at her, "well to be honest I'm surprised people didn't have coronaries when they saw you wearing _floral_."

"It's Karen's _wedding_," Rachel said firmly, "I wasn't going to wear any of my normal dresses just for the sake of not looking like a garden party frump."

"I don't understand," Jake said frowning, "you both look perfectly nice. So do you babe," he added quickly to Brooke.

Brooke beamed and squeezed his hand, "I raised you right," she said happily, before glancing at her phone, "we should just drop home to check on Jenny before we meet you guys."

Jake nodded, standing and keeping Brooke's hand in his. He turned to explain to the table, "my parents have got her for the night but we just wanna make sure they don't need anything."

_We_, Peyton was sure she saw Brooke flush with pleasure at the use of the word and she smiled softly over at her. Brooke smiled sweetly back.

"Sure man," Lucas stood to shake his hand- doing that strange mix of hand gestures that Peyton always found kind of hilarious- they must have sat down at one point and decided which ones they were gonna do so that they never got tangled up. She and Rachel just did the Parent Trap routine when no-one else was around and settled for a casual nod and a smirk when they were with their friends; as cool as _they_ thought being able to perform the epic routine was, she doubted Nathan and Lucas would ever let them live it down.

As if her friend was reading her mind Rachel stood and grinned, "I'm gonna go change."

"Where's the dress with a significantly shortened length hiding?"

She smirked, "in the car."

"You got room to change in that thing?"

Rachel reached down to pat her on the head, "though the force is strong, this one is yet still young at heart."

Peyton slapped her hand away, "shut up, I was just asking!"

"Of course there's room," Rachel said easily, "it was the first thing I checked before I bought it. My backseat is _awesome_." Then her face fell as she seemed to remember something and she swallowed and looked away from them. Nathan was staring determinedly at the table cloth, picking at the edges with shaky fingers. "I need more cake," she muttered before stalking away.

When Rachel had vanished from the tent Peyton leant forward and grabbed Nathan's hand, "she's gone you _girl_."

He looked up, his eyes unreadable, "I'm gonna go find Haley."

She bit her lip in concern, "Nate-"

"I'll come to Luke's room in a minute ok?" He walked away awkwardly and she sighed, today was supposed to be uncomplicated.

Lucas draped an arm over her shoulder and raised an eyebrow as she turned to him, "you ok babe?"

"Our friends hurt my heart," she said pouting.

He laughed, "yeah? Mostly they just hurt my head, or in Nate's case, my back, or any of my limbs, depending on which of them he's kicking or punching at the time."

They wandered back to his room and she pulled jeans and a black and white Aerosmith tee shirt out of her bag. She could feel a knot of tension twisting and turning tightly in her stomach and it was making her feel sick. It hadn't been there for a while and she hadn't missed it but now it was back and she couldn't totally put her finger on what-

"Peyt?"

She blurted the words out before she could stop them, "do you think this is all gonna be ok?"

"If we keep feeding Rach cake," he said with a grin. She narrowed her eyes at him in warning and he held up his hands, "I don't know sweetness, it's Rachel; she's a freaking mystery to all but herself." He kicked his shoes off and replaced them with battered converse, "you know her better than anyone I guess, what do you think?"

Peyton sighed and tugged at her dress, "can you get this for me please?"

He stood up, brushing his hand gently across her back and kissed her shoulder before pulling on the zip, "you avoiding the question?"

"No, I just don't have an answer."

She twisted to look at him and his hands fell to her hips, "of course it'll be ok Peyton, it's my ma's wedding day you know- it's a good day."

"Ever an optimist," she said smiling widely at him.

"Hey, somebody in this crazy town has to be."

She opened her mouth to reply but was cut off by her phone blaring out _Konstantine_ and she snapped it open, "you get lost on the way to your car red?"

"Ha ha, just checking that Luke hasn't had a personality transplant, learned how to be smooth and convinced you to ditch Tric and stay home with him."

"I resent that," Lucas said down the phone, "I'm always smooth."

There was a snort from the door and they both turned to see Nathan grinning, "are you kidding? You got elbowed in the face by your own girlfriend."

"She was drunk! And she's currently half naked so do you mind?" Lucas stepped in front of Peyton, scowling at his brother.

Nathan rolled his eyes, "nothing I haven't seen dude, too often if I'm honest." He fake shuddered and Peyton flipped him off, tugging on her tee shirt with one hand.

Rachel interrupted, still on the phone, "is that Nathan?"

"Yeah." There was a silence, "Rach you still there?"

"Yeah yeah, don't fret blondie I'm still here. Just getting changed-" she could hear Rachel shuffling and the sound of an elbow hitting the window followed by a large amount of swearing.

She chuckled, "you need a hand?"

"Bite me Sawyer I was doing this kind of thing long before you even knew what back seats were actually made for."

"Ladies and gentlemen exibit a, class act Rachel Gattina," she said grinning as she tugged on her jeans and kicked her dress away.

"Oh shut-" there was the sound of the door opening and then Rachel exclaimed, "Chris what the _hell_?"

She stopped moving and adjusted the phone, "Rachel? What's going on?"

"It's just Chris," she could hear Rachel rolling her eyes, "Chris get out of my car- no don't touch my interior!"

"Rach?"

Nathan stepped towards Peyton frowning, "what's going on? Put her on loudspeaker," he demanded.

She obliged and then said again, "Rachel?"

"Yeah I'm here, but can you come get me? This _ass_ won't get out of my car."

Chris's voice was slurred as he snapped back a reply, "I just wanna talk Rachel. And we need to go somewhere quiet for that."

"We _are_ somewhere quiet Keller, this is my car! Oh man, is that vodka leaking out of your _pores_?"

"Be quiet, I'm concentrating!"

"Chris what are you doing? Chris stop-" she could hear the engine starting and Rachel climbing through the car, "Chris _stop_!"

Peyton turned to look at Nathan and Lucas in shock and then put the phone to her ear again, "Rachel, get out of the car!"

"I can't right now Peyton, it's _moving_. It's ok, I'll just meet you at Tric ok?"

"No!" Nathan said vehemently, "tell her Peyton, tell her to get out."

She waved a hand to shush him so that she could hear properly.

"Wait Chris this isn't the way-" there was a beat and then Rachel's voice came on the phone again, much more quietly, "ok I'm officially freaked out Peyt can you just come pick me up, _please_?"

"We'll be right there. Get your keys," Peyton said sharply to Lucas and marched out the door, "it's ok we'll come get you- just get Chris to pull over."

She could hear Rachel breathing hard, she sounded panicked and that made Peyton feel panicked- it wasn't often her friend got majorly upset and this- sounded bad. Nathan was practically running to the car and he pointed at Lucas, "hurry your ass up Luke. Tell Rachel we're on our way."

Peyton tugged on her seat belt and then picked up the phone again, "you still with me Rach?"

"I'm uh- I'm just- where are you?"

"We're on our way."

Nathan snatched the phone off her suddenly, "Rachel, get the _hell _out of the car."

"You think I'm stupid Nathan?" Rachel's angry voice filled the car, "what do you think I'm trying to do? Chris pull the hell over!"

"Keller I swear to god if you don't pull that car over-"

"Sorry Nate- I just wanna talk to Rachel here about a few things. You can stay on the line if you want; it's mostly about you anyway and why the hell she thinks you're worth pining over."

"Chris shut up and pull over!"

Peyton pushed forward, snatching at her phone, "Rach just get out of the car, we're coming to get you, just please- get out of the car ok?"

"Jesus you guys think I'm gonna jump from a moving vehicle? I'm not Bruce Willis!"

"Rachel now is not the time to be making _jokes_," Nathan pushed his hair back looking distraught suddenly; "I hate it when you use that as your m.o."

"And now you're _criticising_ me? Jesus Chris stop the car I'm not even kidding- or at least turn it around so I can go back there and kick Nathan's ass! I hate you, I hate you _so_ _damn_ _much_-" her words were punctuated with what sounded like kicks and Chris was yelping.

"Rachel?"

"One sec Peyt-"

"Rach stop-"

There was a shout from Chris suddenly and Peyton could hear wheels screeching and then Rachel yelled "shit-" there was a bang and the line went dead.

She could hear the blood pumping in her ears so fast she thought maybe they'd explode. "What the hell was that?" She shrieked at Lucas and Nathan, looking up at them expectantly.

Nathan stared back at her, ashen faced and Lucas waved the phone at him, one eye on the road, "Nathan, Nathan try it again- try the number again."

Peyton snatched the phone off him when all Nathan could do was stare at his brother blankly and held down five for Rachel's cell. There was no answer, just a lame sounding unavailable message. She threw it to the floor impatiently and leant forward, "can't you go any _faster_ Lucas?"

"Peyton I don't want to bloody kill us!"

"Just do it, please Luke!" She barely had time to answer when they spotted fence debris from the bridge over the main river strewn across the road ahead. "Oh jesus," she whispered.

"Stop the car," Nathan said hoarsely.

"Yeah Nate just let me pull over-"

"Stop the damn car Lucas!"

Nathan was out of the car in a second and racing across to the gap on the bridge fencing where Rachel's car was just visible in the water and sinking fast.

"Holy shit, Peyton call nine one one-" he pointed at her as she came towards him, "no, don't come any closer- stay back."

She ignored him and pushed forward, "no I-"

Nathan caught her roughly and twisted her round, "don't even think about it Peyton."

"Get off," she snapped; attempting to break free, "I need to-"

"Wait!"

"No!" She tugged away from him, her head swimming and her heart in her mouth, "oh god," she knelt down on the side of the bridge and yelled, "_Rachel_!"

There was steam billowing from the car and there was a clunk before a hissing began and more water seemed to sweep down with the suction the car was creating. There was no sign of Rachel or Chris.

"Rachel!"

In the background Lucas was gabbling information to the emergency services people- she hadn't even noticed him take the phone- before he hung up and looked over at her, "they're on their way."

"They're not gonna be in time," Nathan shouted, backing away from the edge suddenly, his eyes trained on the fast disappearing car.

"Nathan-" Peyton began to get up, "Nathan what are you doing?"

His eyes flashed as he looked at her, "she said she _hated_ me, that can't- I can't- it can't be the last thing Rachel ever says-" his voice broke and he dropped his jacket to the floor.

"Nathan-"

He turned and tried to smile crookedly at her, "you know me Sawyer, I'm a sucker for trynna be the good guy right?"

She was caught between the desire to throw herself in front of him and the one to tug off her shoes and join him, "Nate, please-"

"Tell Haley I'm sorry ok?" And then he was taking a running jump off the edge of the bridge.

"Nathan!" She dropped to her knees, watching in horror as he disappeared under the water.

Lucas ran up beside her yelling, "Nathan!" He looked around wildly and then took a step backwards, "stay where you are and wait for the ambulance."

She scrambled up, her jeans ripping on broken glass, "what, why? Where the hell are you going?" There was smoke beginning to cloud the air around the bridge and she could barely see him, "Lucas." She waved it away desperately and stumbled towards him. "Don't even think about it-"

"It's our family Peyt."

"I know but-"

He kissed her hand roughly and then muttered, "love you," before throwing himself off the bridge after Nathan.

"Lucas!" The water covered him immediately and she fell to her knees in the debris, not caring that the skin on her hands was tearing across the splintered wood and staining the bridge. She wiped at her face, trying not to cry, trying not to black out. All she could think about was that three of the most important people in her life were six feet below, immersed in murky water, surrounded by tons of metal and glass, and had left her alone with no-one to help and nothing she could to do about any of it.


	29. Don't Take Your Love Away

**A/N: for my awesome cheerleader and BFF, JJ, without whom I might have cried and given up writing a long time ago- there are not enough Meredith and Cristina hug gifs in the world for you. Also, I'm sorry if anyone has felt like they've been led on or lied to about this fic in regards to NHR- I honestly had no idea. I meant it when I said several chapters ago not to read if you weren't comfortable about the NHR triangle and I thought that would be enough. I fail at writing NH at the moment so that's part of the reason Haley hasn't been in it so much but as well as that, this was **_**never**_** an NH/NR or a Haley centric fic. This is an LP and Peyton centric fic. To everyone who has been SO supportive, you've all been awesome and I hope this and the last (two?) chapter(s?) work for you guys!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own.**

_Non- Believer_ by La Rocca is five minutes and five seconds long, the walk to Luke's house takes thirteen minutes, a phone call with Rachel discussing what to wear for school takes twenty nine minutes, whereas one with Nathan normally takes thirty seconds and mostly consists of insults with an agreed pick time hitched on the end. A sketch Peyton can actually be proud of takes a good three hours and the longest lecture her father ever gave her lasted nearly _five_ hours- he even had to stop to take a drink of whiskey and make a phone call to base half way through and then kept right on going (he _really _wasn't happy about the whole Mexico thing). The sixty three seconds it takes before Lucas reappears in the water were officially the longest in her life.

She scrubbed her hands across her face, shouting for help until she was hoarse. She couldn't breathe with the panic; it was spreading across her limbs, nailing her to the spot as she stared down at the wreckage.

_Finally_ Lucas emerged from the frothing water and she leant over the edge, "Luke!" He was tugging at something and clearly struggling.

"Lucas!"

He spat out water, gasping for air, before yanking Nathan up to the surface. Nathan was clearly not happy with his brother and tried to shove him away, "get off me!"

Peyton searched the water for signs of a familiar red head, "where's Rachel?"

"Just- wait there Peyton-" Lucas was pushing at Nathan, trying to get him away from the car, "Nate!"

"Get the hell off!" Nathan snarled, swatting away his brother's hands and blinking rapidly against the water sloshing in his eyes.

"We need to wait-" Lucas was clutching at his shirt, trying to keep him above water, "you're gonna _drown_ Nathan!"

Nathan hauled his arm away, his movement heavy, "leave me alone," he snapped before diving back underneath.

"Damn it, Nathan!" Lucas stayed above the water for a second and looked up at Peyton desperately, "where the hell are the emergency services?"

"I don't know- Luke- what's happening?"

"We can't get the door open," he said, trying to catch his breath, "just stay there ok?"

"No, Luke-" he ducked back under the water and she yelled in frustration, "_Lucas_! God somebody help!"

She stood up, looking around desperately, _rope_, she needed rope or something. Damn why didn't people just leave rope lying around for situations just like this? Why didn't they think about this kind of thing? There should be plans in place, lessons in school where you got told exactly what to do when your best friend crashed her car over the edge of a bridge and your boyfriend and his brother were stupid enough and _brave_ enough to dive in after her! Why was this not on the syllabus? Who the hell needed _Shakespeare_ at a time like this?

In the distance she could see blue lights flashing and she breathed out a small sigh of relief before kneeling back down on the floor, "Luke! Luke the ambulance is nearly here!"

He re-emerged moments after she'd called his name and he was empty handed; she felt her stomach turn to ice, "where's Nathan?"

"He's coming," he yelled back hoarsely, "Peyton... Don't look ok?"

"What? Why not?"

"Just, don't!"

Nathan's head appeared and he took a giant gulp of air before dragging Rachel's lifeless form above the water, "_help_," he wheezed.

_No_. It couldn't be. She couldn't be... Peyton's grip on the wood beneath her hands tightened until she could feel splinters cutting her skin.

Lucas shot over to him and helped to keep her afloat, "she breathing?"

Nathan pushed darkened hair out of Rachel's face and Peyton took a sharp breath, there was congealed blood spattered all over her friend's delicate features.

"Nathan is she breathing?"

"Just a second!" He held his ear close to her face and then looked up, shaking his head, "I can't tell!"

"Over there," Lucas panted, pointing at the muddy shoreline, "come on, get her out."

Peyton stumbled up and raced to meet them as they made their way to the shallow water. She ran in to help take Rachel's weight and they collapsed in a pile, tugging her up and onto dry land.

"God, where's Chris?"

"I couldn't-" Nathan took a breath, "I couldn't reach him."

"I'll go," Lucas said swiftly, turning back towards the water.

"No, Luke, stop, you have to wait- you're _exhausted_."

"I'm ok, really."

"No, just wait. Rachel, wake up. _Rachel!_" Peyton rested Rachel's head on her knees and shook at her shoulders. When she looked up Lucas was already swimming back towards the now almost completely submerged car, "Lucas stop!"

"Move your hands," Nathan said from beside her, starting her from staring at Lucas's retreating back and lifting at Rachel's chin, "Peyton _move_!"

"Oh god sorry," she mumbled, trying to lift Rachel's head higher and feel for a pulse. She wiped at the mix of mud and blood on Rachel's neck and tried to breathe. There were giant scratches across her face and down her arms from the glass of the windshield and it made her feel sick. She tugged at the bottom of her tee shirt, ripping off a chunk of material to stop the bleeding on one of the cuts on Rachel's chest and held it down tightly.

Nathan groaned and tipped his head back briefly, giving her a chance to take in his shaking hands and pale face. Her eyes widened, "Nathan you're bleeding."

"I'm fine," he said shortly, "_fuck_," he leant forward suddenly, blinking fiercely.

"Nathan?"

"Go up and make sure they see us Peyt-"

"What? No, I don't want to leave you guys!"

He pushed her hands out of the way to hold down on the ragged tee shirt that was blossoming red before their eyes and inclined his head at the slope, "Peyton I got this, just go!"

She took one last look at Rachel and then over to where Lucas was still at the car and diving under the water. She bit her lip-

"_Sawyer_! Move!"

When she reached the top the first responders had arrived and one of the EMTs was jogging towards her, "what happened?"

"My friend's car went over the bridge and then my other friend went in after her and then Lucas went in and then we got her out and she might not be breathing but-"

He placed a hand on her shoulder, "woah, breathe kid. Just take me to where your friends are ok?"

She nodded numbly and then gestured down the slope. Nathan was lying with his eyes closed next to Rachel and Lucas was just staggering out of the water.

"Luke!" She ran to catch him as he pitched forward and he leant on her heavily.

"Couldn't, couldn't get the door open," he said breathlessly.

"There's someone else in the car?" Lucas nodded wordlessly and another EMT began speaking into his walkie before jogging back up in the direction they'd just come from. Lucas sat down at her feet and clutched his head in his hands.

There were three paramedics surrounding Rachel now, Nathan sitting up to tell them what little information he had and the first EMT came over to Peyton, "you hurt?"

She shook her head, "I don't think so."

"You've got blood on you," he nodded at her hands, "it's not yours?"

She stared down at her hands and stomach and then looked up at him aghast, "no it's- it's hers," she gestured limply at Rachel. Oh god.

"What's your name?"

"Peyton- this is Lucas- Nathan's over there and she's Rachel."

"Uh huh, I'm David- Lucas? Can you walk?"

Lucas looked up and nodded wearily. Peyton reached down to squeeze his shoulder and then looked back at David, "please, is she gonna be ok?"

David looked over to where they were lifting Rachel up, "we're gonna do everything we can."

"That doesn't sound very convincing," she said sharply, "what the hell does that mean?"

"She needs to go to the hospital, have you got someone you can call for her?"

"No," she shook her head, "she's been staying with me, I'm her- _we're_ her family," she said firmly.

"You're next of kin?"

"I'm riding in that ambulance with her," she said stubbornly, "that's all you need to know."

"Peyton-"

Lucas began to speak but she interrupted, shaking her head more forcefully, "no! I'm not leaving her again," she said loudly, glowering at the poor EMT, "let me go with her, _please_."

David assessed her for a second and then nodded, "we gotta go now."

Peyton shot him a grateful look and then helped Lucas stand, "you ok?"

He winced and draped an arm over her shoulder as she slid one round his waist, "yeah, I think so."

Nathan was trying to brush off a concerned paramedic as he stalked towards them, "we going now?"

"Please sir, you should _really_ let me look at that cut-"

"I'm fine, which ambulance is Rachel in?"

"I can't fit you all in my rig," David said apologetically.

Nathan folded his arms, "we're coming with you."

"Look, I really can't-"

Before he could finish there was a shout from where Rachel was being loaded into the ambulance and David took off at a sprint, the three of them following behind.

"You can go in the ambulance behind," he called back.

"No-" Peyton tried to step towards him but Lucas caught her arms.

"Come on, we'll be right behind her."

* * *

The ride to the hospital was a blur of shouting and screaming sirens and she held Luke's hand tightly the entire time.

"We should have got one of these to the damn bridge," Nathan muttered grimly, wiping blood from his face.

"We got there as fast as we could Nate."

"Yeah well, it was still too late," he said shortly, glowering at Lucas.

"Why does it feel like you're blaming me for that?"

"I'm just saying-"

"He's not blaming you Luke-" Peyton cut in swiftly, grabbing Nathan's free hand, "let's just, get there ok?"

"I can't believe you," Lucas mumbled, leaning his head back against the wall.

"Look Luke, I'm sorry ok? I'm just a little stressed out here."

"Oh and you think I'm not? Contrary to popular belief I do actually care about Rachel just as much as you do you _idiot_. I went in that water too!"

"I didn't mean to imply you didn't-"

"Guys!" Peyton's voice interrupted them shrilly and she squeezed their hands- both of them winced as their fingers turned white. "Can you please argue about this at another time? _Any_ other time? I know normally you do the whole I'm mad at you but not really so let's go play some basketball and fix all our issues and laugh at Peyton getting mad at us and then we get away with it cos we're so damn charming but this is _not_ the time! We all care about Rachel ok? I care, you care, we all care but she's my damn _person_ and you both need to shut the hell up so that I can freak out in peace!"

They both stared at her in shocked silence until they were pulling to a halt and a paramedic was opening the back doors, "y'all need to go check in."

Peyton followed him outside and in through the hospital ER entrance, "do you know about our friend? Rachel? She was in the ambulance ahead of us."

"You can ask about her at the desk hon," he said, gesturing towards the reception area.

She hurried over with Lucas and Nathan hot on her heels, "hi, an ambulance just brought in Rachel Gattina, do you know where she is?"

The nurse at the desk looked up at her, "are you family?"

"Yeah I'm her sister," she said quickly. Lucas and Nathan didn't even blink as she said it; god sometimes she really, _really_ loved them. Lucas sneezed suddenly and looked mournfully down at the pool of water he was making with his wet clothes.

Ok so she loved them _all _the time.

"Alright," the nurse tapped something into the computer and Peyton resisted the urge to stamp her foot at the length of time she took, "she's just going into surgery-"

"She's _what_? It's that bad? Can't we see her first?"

"It really can't wait," the nurse pulled an apologetic face, "but you can wait upstairs for her. Sir, has someone looked at your head?"

Nathan started when he realised she was addressing him and waved her off, "I'm fine."

"Nathan let the nice nurse look at your head!" Peyton snapped suddenly and he blinked before holding up his hands.

"Fine, but then can we please go upstairs and see if they know anything?"

"Of course."

"Is there any news on the other person in the accident Rachel was involved in?" Lucas asked as Nathan let a nurse drag him to the nearest curtain area, still looking surly and damp.

The nurse shook her head, "nobody else from the scene has arrived yet."

He closed his eyes and Peyton swallowed hard, "can you- how do we find out about him?"

"You'll need to wait until _we_ know something first," the nurse said soothingly, "but I can send someone up to let you know, will that help?"

Peyton nodded her head numbly, "thank you."

"Peyt," Lucas said softly, pulling her away from the desk, nodding at the nurse in thanks, "you need to call your dad- I'm gonna go call my mom ok?"

"Yeah, Luke-" she caught his arm before he could move away, "you did everything you could ok?"

He stared at her intently for a moment and she tried to purvey how sincerely she meant what she said with her eyes. Finally he nodded and gave her a faint smile, "ok." He squeezed her hand and kissed the top of her head, "I'll be right back."

"I'll be here," she said softly.

She walked slowly over to where Nathan was, folding her still shaky hands into her torn tee shirt and smiling wanly at him, "you look like crap Scott."

He scoffed without looking up from where he was texting furiously, "you should see what you look like right now Sawyer; _dragged through a bush_ best describes the hair."

"Sir, you need to turn that off in here," the nurse said quietly and Nathan sighed and flipped his cell closed.

"Where's Luke?"

"Calling his mom," she stared at the stitches forming on his forehead, "it hurt much?"

He shrugged and then winced, "nah not really- not as bad as my hand," he grinned crookedly, "think you broke some bones."

"Sorry," she stuck her tongue out, "guess you're gonna have to toughen up." She nodded at his shoulder, "you messed with your shoulder again?"

"It's probably just gonna be sore for a few days, nothing major." He gestured at the door, "quit being a mother hen and go call your dad- I'm not going anywhere."

She tried to scoff, "I'm not worried about that- I'm just, checking you're ok."

"And I'm fine see? Right here, four limbs, one head, ten toes etc."

"I-" She hovered for a moment and he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as she proved his point. She rolled her eyes, "_fine_, but you like me mothering really, it makes you feel loved."

"Yeah yeah, now move your ass, I wanna get upstairs and see if-" he took a beat and then swallowed, "see if they have any news."

Peyton felt her eyes well up and then nodded, backing away, "everything's going to be fine Nathan, I know it."

"That's why you're the optimist Sawyer."

She shook her head slightly, smiling and then flipped her phone open. Outside, she stared at the last dialled numbers and blinked back more stupid hot tears. God had it only been forty two minutes since the first call? It felt like days had passed, years, _centuries_ and yet no time at all. Her legs gave out and she crouched against the wall, holding her phone tightly to her ear, "dad? It's me. Something's happened."

* * *

"Just what in the hell did I tell you two right before I left?" Peyton looked up from where she'd been dozing on Lucas's shoulder and suddenly felt like everything truly _was_ going to be ok. Larry dropped his canvas bag and strode over to her, "I leave for less than a day and you girls are trying to kill me!"

"Dad," she said weakly, leaving her seat and flying into his arms. It had been hours since they'd rolled into the ER, since she and Nathan had tried to make jokes and ignore the horrifying panic swelling around them and she'd sat outside feeling crisp air stinging her wet cheeks as she called her dad and told him she really, _really_ needed him. They'd been sat on the same ugly ass green chairs the whole time and she'd barely moved except to let someone clean her hands of splinters and cuts and then wrap them in gauze.

Nathan hadn't even had the heart to make a joke about the fact she now looked like a messed up puppeteer.

"Break it down for me kiddo," Larry said as he led her back to the seats. He did a double take at the state of both Scott brothers and frowned, "this looks _bad_; you boys alright?"

Nathan grunted and Lucas smiled faintly, "had better days."

"So it would seem," Larry said drily. He assessed them both briefly as though mentally checking their injuries had been properly looked after and then turned to his daughter, "so Red got herself in a car accident huh?"

Peyton resisted the urge to cry again- seriously she couldn't believe how much she was doing that today- damn Rachel! Damn her and her stupid plans to go get changed alone and her stupid Chris Keller and her jokes about Bruce Willis and-

"Peyton?"

"Yeah," she said finally, "yeah she did."

"And this boy you mentioned, Chris?"

"He's ok," she said shrugging, "they're keeping him in overnight, he was _lucky_," she said. She was trying not to sound bitter about how unfair that was- it would have been awful if Chris had been worse off of course- but still, it stung that he was the one who walked away unscathed and Rachel was the one still in surgery. "Rachel wasn't wearing a seat belt- she was trying to get out of the car-" beside her Nathan made a noise of distress and she took a breath, "and then Chris just lost control."

"He was drinking?" Larry's face was dark with anger and Peyton swallowed in surprise, she didn't see _that_ face very often anymore.

"Yeah- I don't know what they'll do about charges or anything."

"Well I'll be making damn sure they do something," he said angrily. He glanced back at Nathan and Lucas, "you boys went in after her huh?" They both nodded and he let out a huff of laughter, "you two sure are good at doing the rescue thing. You keep on finding ways to surprise me."

Neither of them moved and Peyton leant forward to whisper, "that was a compliment."

Larry rolled his eyes, "I'm sure they know that."

Both Lucas and Nathan gave him relieved, exhausted smiles and then Lucas closed his eyes, wrapping his hand back around Peyton's and Nathan glanced back at his phone frowning.

"Nathan?"

He looked up and exhaled hard, standing up, "Hales, I didn't know if you'd come."

"Of course," she said softly, coming towards him, still in her bridesmaid's dress. Her dark eyes took in the battered looking group over his shoulder and then looked back at him, "what happened?"

He shook his head, biting his lip in a very Peyton like fashion, "god I don't even-"

"It's ok Nathan," she put her arms around his shoulders and hugged him tightly, "it's gonna be ok."

Peyton watched the two hug and then turned to look back through the glass door that led through to the operating theatres. She sighed and clutched at Luke's hand, settling her head on her dad's shoulder, "don't go anywhere," she whispered.

"Wasn't thinking about it," Lucas murmured back.


	30. Run Against The Wind With Me

**A/N: I'm a terrible updater. I always have been but this is… tragic. I massively apologise. Guys, thank you all so much for the support and encouragement I've received during this fic; it's been really appreciated! I'm so sorry this took forever to finish but it's done now and I'm going to miss it so much!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own anything.**

When Peyton opened her eyes she didn't immediately recognise her surroundings. There was sunlight pouring in from a window, almost blinding her and the walls of the room were white and unfamiliar. She blinked rapidly, trying to get her bearings and felt herself lift up slightly without doing anything. She sat up in surprise and realised she'd fallen asleep on Lucas's chest, one of his arm's curled protectively around her shoulders. He looked so peaceful asleep, his perfect features bathed in the morning light. She reached up and pushed his hair back before looking around; they were in a hospital room and she noted with a start that it was Rachel on the bed in front of them.

She eased out from underneath Lucas and stretched, rubbing her neck as she moved towards the bed. Rachel looked pale and there were a lot of scratches covering her face and the arm not in a cast but she was _alive_. Peyton bent down carefully, feeling stupid as she did so, and listened to her friend breathing for a moment, just to check.

"Creeper."

She jerked back and scowled for a second before breaking into a smile as she looked down at her friend, her eyes opening slowly.

"Knew you loved me really blondie."

"Yeah well, you did the whole hospital caring thing first, I didn't really have a choice," she grabbed her friend's hand gently, "how you feeling?"

"Like I got smashed up and drowned and broke a lot of bones, all rolled into one," Rachel shifted uncomfortably, blinking rapidly, "what happened?"

"That dumbass Keller drove your car over a bridge."

Rachel groaned, "ugh, I knew that boy would try and be the death of me." Her eyes flickered around the room, "is everyone ok? Oh my god Peyt- Nathan- did Nathan do something stupid?"

Peyton scoffed, trying to push down the lump in her throat when she thought about just how close she'd come to losing her closest friends, "he's fine, everyone's fine- the boys thought they'd try and impress unconscious you- they went in after you."

"Oh god," Rachel closed her eyes, squeezing back tears, "it was so stupid, I'm so stupid Peyt."

"No you weren't," Peyton responded fiercely, "you did everything you could to stop Chris. You fought like hell and I am so glad you did because I cannot imagine going back to a life without someone telling me what to eat and what to wear and why I have bad taste in actors."

Rachel laughed and the winced, "noted, I won't go anywhere again then."

"Oh thank god," Peyton squeezed her hand, "it's all gonna be fine now ok? We're gonna be fine."

"Since when have you ever said anything that shiny and positive?"

Peyton scowled, "what's wrong with what I said?"

"It's just," Rachel screwed up her nose, "it's not very us."

"Oh come on!" She blew her hair from her face crossly and sat down, crossing her arms while Rachel chuckled at her, "I was trying to be nice. In actuality your face looks like shit and you're going to die at my hands in thirty seconds."

"Aw honey I love you too."

"Peyton?" Lucas shuffled around on the sofa and then glanced up at them quickly, "oh- hi- I uh, panicked."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "nice Scott, real nice, I nearly die and you're worried blondie's disappeared to get coffee or something?"

"No," he retorted crossly, "I was, just curious as to where she'd gone is all. I was hoping she might have taken you with her and then dropped you off somewhere far away but hey, it's early in the day."

"Forget it Lucas, you tried to save my life, you can't pretend you don't care anymore."

"I-" Lucas pouted, "where is Nathan? Shouldn't he be holding cold compresses to your head tenderly and crying over your comatose state instead of _me_ having to deal with your whining? Honestly you're barely conscious and you're giving me crap."

"Maybe he went home," Rachel suggested in a quiet voice.

There was a knock on the door and then a floating bunch of sunflowers appeared with what looked suspiciously like Nathan's feet underneath them.

"Oh you didn't," Lucas said in an amused voice, "you bought flowers."

"Yeah," Nathan's red face came into view as he glowered at his brother, "so?"

"So you brought _Gatina_ flowers, you are never living this down.

"Shut up bitch," Nathan grumbled, "she almost died, you're supposed to bring flowers."

"As in sorry you almost died flowers? I don't need pity flowers Scott!"

Nathan jumped as if he'd forgotten Rachel was in the room and turned to her, "no that's not what I meant!"

"Take them away, I don't want gross sad death flowers!"

"For christ's sake do you know how impossible it is to find sunflowers in this town? I went to three different places I am not throwing them away just because you're scared I saved your life and then brought you flowers and that might just mean something!" He shoved the flowers onto the table and then stormed back to the door, "for the record, I'm really touched the last thing you ever bothered to say to me before you crashed into a damn river was that you hated me. Totally didn't take offence to that at all- or this!" And with that he slammed the door, making Rachel flinch and Peyton grimace.

Rachel glared at Lucas, "this is your fault!"

"Oh-" Lucas had the decency to look sheepish, "yeah maybe I didn't help with that one."

"Go talk to him," Peyton demanded, shoving him up and off the sofa.

"Hey- hey ouch that hurts woman!"

"Good!" Rachel declared.

Peyton shot her a warning look and she tried to look innocent, "what? He started it!"

"I have such a messed up family," Peyton groaned.

* * *

A week later she sat in the car with Vast playing, staring up at school while she chewed on her lip. It felt weird, almost unnecessary coming back to school after so much had happened. She felt a presence beside her and rolled her eyes when she turned and saw Nathan making himself comfortable in the passenger seat.

"So where we going today?"

She laughed, "nowhere, it's the last week of term, we don't have anything to avoid."

Nathan snorted and then winced, "probably a good thing."

"What do you mean?"

He grinned lazily at her, "my face is never gonna get a chance to get back to being awesome if I keep getting in cars with you."

She shoved at his arm, "jackass!"

"Ow Sawyer, bodily harm this early in the morning is not allowed!"

"Oh so I can punch you later?"

"If you can catch me," he said shrugging easily and clambering back out of the car less gracefully.

"It's a miracle you're still walking," she commented drily, "especially after all those walls you sail into with that big head of yours."

"Please," Nathan scoffed, "the walls move _for_ me."

"You are unbelievable."

"Thanks doll."

She rolled her eyes and slipped her arm through his, "what did we say about doll?"

"That you love it and I should still be calling it you with affection in twenty years?"

"Well at least you admitted affection."

"Slip of the tongue," he muttered, his face reddening.

"You've said it now."

They strolled into the English classroom together and Nathan paused at the door, "you ok?"

He shrugged, "still feels weird not going into the same classroom you know?"

Peyton swallowed and squeezed his arm, pulling him gently to the back of the classroom, "yeah I do. But this classroom has a nice view," she tried, waving a hand at the window which overlooked the river.

Nathan raised an eyebrow, "what have you done with the real Peyton Sawyer evil twin Callie?"

"Callie is _Rachel's_ evil twin dumbass."

"Yeah so, my point entirely! You two are like soul twins, dark and evil ones."

"Wow, way to be subtle."

"Hmm? I didn't say anything."

"No, it was more the murderous look you got on your face when her name came up. Nate-"

"I don't wanna talk about it Sawyer."

"Excuse me," Rachel said sharply as she dropped into her seat next to Bevin and immediately being absorbed in the chatter with her friend. The fact that she completely ignored Nathan's presence seemed to bother him about as much as Lucas winning a one on one game would, his face scrunched up and he dropped his bag on his desk with a loud bang.

Peyton sighed, "ok enough already!"

They both turned to look at her in shock, "you two have done this before and it didn't end so well last time! You," she pointed at Nathan, "spend way too much time worrying you're gonna get your feelings hurt when it's quite clear all that does is get them hurt even more- step up and be a man! And you!" She turned the finger on Rachel, "need to get over the whole oh boo I'm so messed up inside, I don't deserve to be happy thing because come on, if anyone deserves to be happy it's you Red- and I am not just saying this because it's my freaking birthday and I need you both to get along!"

Both their mouths were open and she gestured between them, "be friends! Or whatever it is you want to be because I guarantee, the other one of you wants it too."

"Peyton-"

"Ah ba ba ba, I can't hear you- I'm pretending I don't know you both."

"Don't be stupid Sawyer."

"Right back at you," she snarked crossly before crossing her arms tightly across her chest, "I hate you both."

"Aw no you don't- that whole speech kinda proves the opposite actually doll."

"He has a point blondie."

"Oh I do?"

"I agree with you on occasion."

"Pfft, not often."

"When it's important I do, like when Lucas' hair looks particularly stupid."

Nathan grinned, "or when he gets that seriously girly look about him when he's staring at Sawyer."

"Hate that look," Rachel agreed conspiratorially and they both smirked at Peyton.

She rolled her eyes and was about to retort when Lucas appeared at the door and she felt her breath leave her. Seriously. She'd seen him like two hours ago when he'd kissed her shoulder, rolled out of bed and gone for a run before practice but still. Damn. He smiled widely when he saw her, the cuts from the river incident almost gone and his eyes clear as he made his way over to them.

"Erm Lucas!"

He stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow, "you hollered Haley J?"

"Your seat happens to be over here," she said smiling teasingly.

He rolled his eyes, "well today I'm breaking protocol."

Brooke scowled, "typical, Jake doesn't take this class and now I'm being deprived of my only remaining eye candy so that he can sit at the back and gaze lovingly at P Sawyer."

"Face it Davis, the back is where it's at," Nathan said smirking, "you just wish you were cool enough to sit back here."

Haley snorted and shot him a fond smile while Brooke scowled and tipped forward on her chair, "I hate you," she muttered darkly.

"Seems to be going around," Nathan said easily, stretching out and giving Peyton just enough time to poke him in the ribs, "dammit!" He squirmed away from her and almost face planted onto his desk, "woman!" He pointed at his face, "money maker Sawyer, stay away from it."

"But I thought the money making lay in your basketball skills," she frowned, tapping her chin, "what can you do now that you have neither?"

Lucas watched them fondly as Nathan flicked his pen in Peyton's hair and she cursed him and tossed a textbook back at him.

"Ladies and gentlemen please! Try not to get too excited and wear yourself out before we get to the good stuff!" Mr Eads sailed into the classroom beaming and Peyton promptly forgot all about her stationary war with Nathan.

She sighed happily and rested a hand on her elbow, "damn."

"Mhmm," Rachel agreed, "and he's only our teacher for what? Another week?"

"Really?" Lucas scowled, "can you please refrain from drooling? I want my essay back dry Rachel."

"Honey, you _chose_ to sit at the back- this is what happens _at the back_; you little nerds get your geek on over Shakespeare while _we_ enjoy the view." Her point was emphasised as Mr Eads stretched to wipe the board clean.

Nathan snorted as his brother pouted and patted his arm, "it's ok man, eventually you'll just phase it out. Like right now?" he waved his hand around, "white noise."

Peyton pulled herself away from officially being one of those high school clichés where you gaze adoringly at a man double your age and flicked Nathan's ear, "did that help clear it up?"

Mr Eads dropped a stack of papers down on the desk with a boom and grinned wickedly, "anyone want an essay back?"

There was a resounding groan and he shrugged, "you know, I could be really mean and make y'all wait to have them in front of you, or I could confirm that without a doubt this class is one of the most talented and uh, certainly one of the most opinionated," he darted a quick glance at Lucas, "I have ever met. Nobody failed; in fact y'all passed with flying colours." He glanced at the desk in front of him for a moment and then back up at them all, "I know Miss Francis would be very proud to hear that."

Peyton swallowed thickly and she knew the rest of the class was thinking similar things to her. Then Mr Eads clapped his hands together, "so who wants to volunteer to help me give these out?"

Rachel's hand almost took Peyton's eye out as it shot up.

* * *

"I can't believe I got a ninety eight," Lucas said dreamily an hour later as they left the classroom, draping an arm over her shoulder.

Peyton rolled her eyes, "I can't believe at the start of the lesson you were ready to toss daggers at the guy and now you're spouting more hearts from your eyes than Rachel."

"Oh baby you jealous?" He smirked, "you don't like that the English teacher loves me more than you?"

She scoffed, "what? You wanna write some poetry and read it aloud to him?"

"You know I only do that for you," he said fondly.

"I'm finding it difficult to feel special right now."

He chuckled and kissed her temple, "so you wanna do anything special for your birthday?"

"I don't know; I was thinking maybe, nothing?"

"What? Why?"

"Oh let me think about that!" She tapped her chin for a second and then shot him a look, "the last time we had a party you dived off a bridge in front of me, Nathan nearly drowned and Rachel nearly _died_. I'm thinking no to a party Luke."

"So dramatic," he teased before turning to look at her seriously as they made their way outside, "you serious though?"

She sighed and leant back against the wall, tugging at the strap of her gym bag, "yeah I mean," she squinted in the sun to look up at him, "I don't wanna risk anything. Is that stupid?"

No," he said softly, "I get it." He considered her for a second and then tugged on her hand, "come on."

"Wait- the car is that way Luke!"

He widened his eyes at her and smirked, "no way!"

She followed him down the familiar path and into the art block, smiling fondly, "you realise you're a total sap right?"

He shrugged, turning to take her other hand and move them further into the hushed room, "last time we'll be in here for a while, doesn't it make you think?"

"About what?"

"The first time?"

"Which one," she said, kinking an eyebrow at him and watching him flush an adorable red.

"The first time we were in here! God I've gotta stop letting you spend so much time with my dirty minded brother."

"You _like_ that I've got a dirty mind," she shot back.

"You're alright I guess," he said teasingly.

She smiled and sat down slowly, breathing in the scent of the air, touching the familiar chipped wood table top. "I love this room," she admitted.

Lucas snorted, "I really appreciate how easy it was for you to say that considering when you admitted you loved _me_ you basically ran away screaming."

"Hey! I was confused and- _angsty_."

"You're still kind of angsty."

"There's a reason you were drawn to me honey."

"True," he said softly, his eyes fixed on hers. "I got you something."

She clapped her hands together, "yay more reminders that I'm getting old."

"You're practically the youngest member of our class!"

"Still," she scowled but smiled nonetheless as he handed her a brown package with a blue ribbon around it. "Am I gonna like it?"

He shrugged, "guess you're gonna have to find out."

She raised her eyebrows, weighing the package in her hands, "feels heavy. Oh my god you didn't get me a Fitzgerald anthology did you?"

"_Ha ha._ I know better than to try and get you to read decent literature."

"Hey! Don't you get all literary snob on me just because you got a better grade than me _one_ time!"

"Don't be bitter- it doesn't suit you."

"Please, I've been doing bitter all my life."

"Yeah well," he touched her chin gently, "I like the non-bitter Peyton better."

"You do?"

"Don't get me wrong- the whole dark and twisty thing was hot," he grinned, almost to himself and shook his head, "seriously hot."

"Oh so you're saying I'm not hot now?"

He paused before looking at her seriously, "yes."

She punched his arm and he laughed, catching her hand, "you know you're hot."

Peyton sniffed and glared at him, "doesn't hurt you to say it every once in a while."

"Peyton, you're beautiful, and as much as the whole angry I hate you and I'ma shoot daggers from my eyes kind of thing was fun- I'm always going to prefer it when you act like you actually like your life, _and_ me."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "yeah yeah, smooth talker." She tugged at the ribbon and removed the packaging, "damn Luke, you wrapped this well!"

"I had help."

"I bet," she pulled off a layer of grey tissue paper and frowned and soft velvety book that fell out. "Luke-"

"Just open it."

Peyton flipped over the cover page gently and bit her lip as she read what was written in a loopy font on the first page. The speech from Act II, Scene II, the one Lucas had read to her so long ago, and at the bottom in Lucas's own hand, "we're not doomed although we _are_ kinda damaged but I love you like he loved Juliet, completely and utterly. And with knowledge of who you _really_ are obviously- not just because you put the stars to shame. Every day I like to think you fix another little part of my damage. And I never want to stop trying for you."

She turned the page and broke out into a huge smile, "you made me a scrap book?"

Lucas shuffled next to her and she realized he was going red, scratching at his arm nervously, "yeah I might have- you know- been keeping stuff and there's some photos in there and-"

"It's perfect."

"It is?"

"Yes, Lucas, god, this is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me," she glanced through the pages as she spoke, tracing the lines of Rachel's face on a photograph of the two of them at the Classic, the card key from the room she'd ended up sharing with Lucas, a post it note from Nathan he'd stuck on her locker one time reading "_your loser boyfriend and I are going running, we'll meet you at Tric. Bring your weirdo best friend if you have to_." A copy of Karen and Keith's wedding invitation, the program from the movie trip they took to see a classic replay of Jurassic Park, there was even a photograph of her asleep next to Rachel in the hospital.

"I- I'm speechless," she said finally.

"I had help," Lucas admitted, "Hales knew a great place to get it all bound together and I had to like- wrestle Rachel's camera off her to get this-" he flipped to near the book of the book where there was a photograph of her best friend asleep on Luke's shoulder. He grinned, "she really didn't like admitting she still had that saved."

Peyton reached up to touch his face, "you're something else you know that right?"

"I've been told."

"Thank you," she said softly. "This is-" she didn't know how to explain to him how important it was that Lucas knew she liked to keep these kind of things, that he knew without her telling him she'd love something like this more than any cd or voucher.

"I'm glad you like it."

"You knew I would."

He shrugged, "I had a hunch, I pride myself on knowing you pretty well Peyton Elizabeth."

She didn't have any argument for that, she didn't even want to argue it, instead she leant forward and kissed him until they were both breathless from it. From what they had together.

* * *

Nathan jumped up to the hoop and easily dunked his basketball, bouncing it as he turned back towards her, "you know it's weird to think?"

Peyton glanced up from her sketchbook and smirked, "well yeah sure, it must feel a bit weird- what with it being a rare occurrence and all."

"Oh ha."

He rolled his eyes and then tossed the ball hard at her, she caught it easily, smirking, before throwing it back, "you were saying?"

Nathan shrugged, jogging towards the hoop again, "nope, you can't hear it now."

"Come on, you can't deny the birthday girl anything kid, rules are rules for a reason."

"There are no rules on your birthday, 'cept maybe the one about birthday beats- which reminds me-"

"Ha ha no thank you," she put aside her sketchbook and leant back on her elbows to consider him as he collapsed next to her, "so you were doing that weird thing called thinking and…."

"If you hadn't ended up sitting next to me in that English class- like- if me and Lucas had had a fight and been in the office or- or you'd come a day later and sat in calculus first and met someone else instead of me. D'you think we'd still be friends?"

She tilted her head to one side, "well I don't know; do you somehow magically become cool _without_ my help? Or in this scenario are you still a loser who hates everyone he knows?"

Nathan snorted, shaking his head, "man I miss those days."

"No you don't you liar."

He squinted at her and then grinned, "yeah I guess these ones are ok."

She jumped up off the bench, grabbing the basketball off him as she went, "they're awesome dude. You gotta admit, we did good this year."

Nathan followed her slowly as she moved towards the hoop, "good?"

"Yeah, this time last year I doubt you were about to play one on one with an amazing awesome best friend who's dating the brother you're now close to again and happens to be friends with the girl you kinda sorta love."

"Kinda sorta?"

Peyton shrugged, "that confirmation is up to you my friend."

"Yo!" Lucas appeared from inside, "dinner- Nathan please try and not sweat all over the table."

"Man," Nathan turned to Peyton incredulously, "how, I mean knowing the two of us and everything, how did he turn into such a woman?"

Lucas could hear Peyton's laughter from inside. If it wasn't her birthday he would totally not be putting out later.

Ellie placed a dish of green beans in the centre of the table and Peyton wrinkled her nose, "I don't care how icky they look Peyton Elizabeth, you are eating them."

"They'll make you grow big and strong," Nathan flexed his muscles, "like me."

Peyton covered her eyes, "please don't do that, for all of our sanity's my friend."

Nathan stuck his tongue out , "you know you think my guns are awesome Sawyer."

"You know we would agree," Rachel said lightly, "if we could see them."

She batted away the green bean Nathan flicked at her and Larry cleared his throat, "can it Scott, food stays on the plate!"

Peyton snorted as she watched Nathan open his mouth in protest and then fall silent, scowling at his plate. He looked like a reprimanded eight year old. Rachel met her eyes across the dinner table, lips curling up in a smile over her glass; clearly she was thinking the same thing.

"And you two," Larry pointed a fork between them both, "don't think I can't see you having your telepathic conversations, keep it all _out loud_ please, and leave poor Nathan alone."

"See that," Nathan leant across the table to talk to Lucas loudly, "that's called support _brother_."

Lucas grinned, "I'll jump in if they start beating you up Nate, don't worry."

"Alright alright," Ellie interrupted, "can I have everyone's undivided attention please? No googly eyes being thrown across the table and absolutely _no_ vegetables!"

They all turned to look at one another and Peyton squirmed in her seat, "Ellie-"

"Peyton don't interrupt," her father commanded suddenly and she stuck her tongue out at him.

"So I'm new to the whole family thing," Ellie began, "I've never really had one of my own and I've always wondered about how I could go about fixing that. Or if I ever got the chance to do so, what my own family would look like." She glanced round the table in amusement, "I sure as hell didn't picture this." They all laughed and this time even Larry didn't tell them off when several carrots flew at her, "alright hey! I'm kidding, kidding. Look, you guys- you've been through a lot this year. I know it's been tough. But I gotta say, I've never been prouder of a bunch of people as I am of you four. Peyton," she turned to her daughter who was biting down on her lip painfully hard, "you are everything I could have wanted in a daughter. Your father should be proud of how he's raised you and I'm sure he sees so much of Anna in you- I didn't know her very well but she was sweet and kind and most importantly, for me, she never judged. It seems to me like that is a quality you've inherited because you would help anyone with any problem. You like to claim you're all alone and dark and angsty and honestly I'm afraid to admit you probably got all that from me, but you're not alone. And I couldn't be happier to know you've found people who accept you for who you are and even though they're all crazy," she shot a fond look at Peyton's friends who all looked slightly awed at the compliments coming their way, "I couldn't have chosen better people to be in your life and to take on the challenges headed your way. So happy birthday baby, may this year be filled with joy and love and happiness."

"Here here," Larry agreed, "Peyton honey, I hope this year does you right, none of the sadness we've all carried for too long, just everything you want. Except that damn dvd boxset with those boys that run around Hawaii- completely unrealistic and they never seem to stop arguing- we have enough of that in this house."

Peyton snorted, that wasn't a problem, she knew for a fact Rachel had already purchased said boxset and that they would undoubtedly be watching it later.

"Thank you dad," she said softly.

He glanced at her and winked,"well alright, let's eat!"

"I hope you al recognise how awesome this food is," Rachel said loftily as she passed round a pot of carrots, "I slaved over it for several hours."

Lucas made a great show of pretending to wretch and she immediately pulled the pot away, "fine, don't have any."

"I'm kidding! I helped, I would know if something was off."

"Helped? You call hovering over my shoulder helping?"

"You cooked?" Nathan said over the top of the bickering and Rachel sighed and muttered something that sounded like "I give up" before filling her plate with potatoes.

"Is there a cake?" Peyton asked hopefully.

"Honey, who do you think you're talking to?"

"Awesome! Does it have Alex O'Loughlin's face on?"

This time, both Scott brothers and her father groaned as Ellie piped up saying, "oh I hope so!"

* * *

Peyton watched as Nathan and Rachel raced each other down the sand. Rachel stopped abruptly when they hit the water but Nathan purposely changed his running path and collided into her so they both fell into the waves. "_Mother fucker_!" Rachel's cusses could be heard from where she and Lucas were standing twenty feet away.

Lucas snorted and draped an arm around her shoulders, "my brother is a top class charmer."

She swatted his chest, "hey, don't diss on my best friend."

He pouted suddenly, "do you love Nathan more than me?"

"Yes," she said firmly.

"What? That's not what you're supposed to say!"

"Oh honey," she twisted and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him softly, "I love you. I am, probably was from the moment you caught me in that corridor and will, sometimes _unfortunately_," he scowled and she continued smiling, "be in love with you. Lucas _Eugene_ Scott. No-one else."

His eyes were liquid soft as he gazed down at her, speechless for a moment before he smiled wide and unconscious, "I love you too."

She rolled her eyes, letting her arms drop to tug on his hand, "I know you do, goof."

"Yo Sawyer!" Before she could turn around Nathan had dumped a huge strand of seaweed over her head and she shrieked in shock.

"Bastard!"

She chased him down the beach whilst Lucas and Rachel pushed and shoved at each other, Lucas shrieking at Rachel that she was too cold and wet and her shouting at him to be a man and give her his hoodie.

"Die die die!" Peyton jumped on top of Nathan and her best friend's legs gave way making them topple onto the sand in a heap.

"Ah Sawyer, how much do you weigh?"

"It's inappropriate to ask a lady that!" She yelled as she shoved sand down his tee shirt.

"Ah fuck stop stop, woman!" He caught her hands and they both paused, gazing down at each other. He broke out into a grin, "should I kiss you now? You know, since you're on top of me and all…"

"Ewwwwww!" She leapt up, shuddering and brushing at her legs, "don't ever touch me again!"

Nathan fell about laughing, "hey, it got you off of me."

"_Hate_ is not a strong enough word for the feelings I have towards you!"

"I agree," Rachel cried, kicking not too gently at Nathan's ribs.

"Ow oh my god evil, psycho, crazy, oof, god Gatina!" His hand shot out and he caught her ankle, tugging her backwards so that she lost her balance and landed on top of him. "D'aww, am I allowed to kiss _you_ then?"

Rachel scrunched up her nose, "I'll think about it and get back to you."

"How 'bout you just let me, for once?"

She scowled, sitting back on his legs, "you know don't start thinking that because you nearly drowned your sorry ass trying to rescue me I'm going to get all weak in the knees and googly eyed for you Nathan Scott I am not one of those sad and pathetic types who moons over her ex and wishes he'd just fucking make a move already because he's a dork and never mmf-" Nathan seemed to have decided the best way to actually shut Rachel Gatina up was to kiss her.

She didn't seem to have any objections.

Lucas grimaced, "I do not need to see that."

"Shut up loser," Rachel snapped up at him; she was less than threatening from her current position however and he stuck his tongue out at her before grabbing Peyton's hand, "can we please be elsewhere right now?"

Peyton grinned at her two best friends before following Lucas up the sand to where there was a sand hill they could sit on. She stretched her legs out, her scar standing out starkly in the moonlight. Lucas traced a finger around it absentmindedly before tugging her closer, pushing his hands through her hair.

"So how does it feel being stuck with me all summer?"

"Haven't you heard? Rach and I are going to Mexico."

"Like hell you are," he muttered, "I can't trust you two to drive to the video store let alone across the fricking border."

"_Hey_!"

"Besides, Nate and I might go back to hating each other if you're not here to yell at us both."

"I do not yell, I- _remonstrate_ loudly."

"Peyton honey, I gotta tell you, you are a yeller, in all kinds of situations," he wiggled his eyebrows and she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yeah well you mutter."

"I what- I _mutter_?"

"Yep, kinda huff out stuff under your breath when you don't really want to say what you're thinking out loud but you can't help it."

He raised his eyebrows, "oh I guess you've got me pegged then."

"Uh huh, no more surprises from you, boring and steady all the w-"

In a second he had pushed her backwards into the sand and had her head resting on his arm, his face inches from hers. Lucas smirked at the shock on her face, "you were saying?"

She shifted, sliding her hands under his tee shirt, "maybe you've still got some tricks up your sleeve."

"You should probably be trying to find them all out then; so I can go back to being boring and predictable to you."

"Yeah you're right," she frowned, "guess that means I shouldn't go to Mexico."

"No, I think maybe you should stay here- especially if Rachel was thinking of driving."

"For my personal safety," she added, nodding seriously, "and yours obviously- don't want to stay here with your scary baby brother."

"I think it's best you stick around for a while to be honest."

"A while like all summer?"

"Sure, and then next year you'll have to be around to protect me from Brooke trying to rope me into preparations for prom- she's been planning it since we were all about twelve."

"Wow, you're gonna need me a _lot_ next year then."

He let out a put upon sigh, leaning down so that their faces were almost touching, his breath warm on her lips, "and all of that effort just to keep me safe from bodily harm."

"To be fair, I do a lot of that myself-" she grinned, remembering the first she'd accidently punched him and running a hand over his cheek.

"You're right- actually then, maybe you should take off…"

"Then again," she countered, "now that Rachel and Nathan have quit dancing around each other you _know_ they're gonna team up against you- you're gonna need someone on your side."

"Yeah I am, know anyone? I hear you're too fond of your loner status to be paired up with anyone else."

She grinned up at him, unafraid for the first time in such a long time, "I think I can make an exception here."

"Glad to hear it," he murmured, bending to kiss her finally. And so was she. She wasn't alone anymore. She could hear Rachel and Nathan bickering at one another in the distance and a quick glance confirmed they were walking towards them holding hands. And Lucas was with her, above her, wrapped up in her and she with him.

She'd quite like to think maybe she'd never be a loner again.


End file.
